The Good New Days
by Rosie5
Summary: Following directly on from the chapter Snape's Worst Memory, follow the fights, fun, action and romance concerning a very cocky James Potter, a desirable Sirius and a sinister Snape! Follows from love until death with extensive angst. Marauder Magic.
1. By The Lake

**The Good 'New' Days By Rosie**

Summary:

This fiction follows directly on from the chapter in 'The Order of the Phoenix' entitled Snape's Worst Memory. James is, from this point on, a 16 year old with his 3 best friends, Peter, Remus and Sirius. More fights, fun and action follow as the story continues from that day Harry witnessed his father tormenting Snape. What happened after that line "who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" Read on!

* * *

Chapter One: _By The Lake_

"You make me SICK!"

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey! Evans!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" asked James, trying, and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, mate, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now. "Right - "

There was another flash and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

There was a roar of approval from the crowd, apparently gleefully entertained by the antics performed by James on these regular, ritualistic occasions. Snape's expression was one of purest loathing as he hung upside-down, all dignity forgotten as his pallid, skinny legs reflected the sunlight and he struggled to pull his robes over his underpants, reclaiming the last shreds of his dignity.

James turned his head casually to see if Lily was still watching him, but her back was firmly against him as she stalked up into the castle with her friends.

Sirius was roaring with laughter, rolling around on the floor, Wormtail was wheezing with delight and Lupin, obviously trying to concentrate on his Transfiguration textbook, was trying with all his might to keep a straight face but his lips were twitching.

Snape was panting, the blood rushing to his head, trying to speak. "P . . . Potter, I'm going . . . kill you . . . you bast . . ."

"Now, now, Snivellus, this is what you get for disrespecting the nice-looking young lady."

"A _very _nice looking young lady," echoed Sirius.

Snape swore loudly. James let the tirade pass and spoke again.

"Now, what we have to establish here, Snivelly, is a promise to never call Evans that . . . that _foul _name again. Do we agree on something?"

Snape muttered something intelligible, which James took as a yes. With a casual flick of his wand, Snape dropped to the floor in a crumpled heap.

There was a chorus of disappointed groans from the crowd, who clearly wanted to see an embarrassed Snape left in his Birthday Suit. But an invisible, almost dangerous taboo surrounded Snape for a second. James caught eye contact and received a look of deep hatred, which stayed with him for a while afterwards. James had always known that there was mutual dislike between his friends and Snape, but in that moment it had extended to loathing. Snape writhed in a tangled mess on the floor, grappling for his wand, which had since fallen.

Sirius managed to momentarily control his laughter to splutter, "Oh, come on, Prongs! You can't leave it there! Let's steal his shoes!"

"No it's OK, I think we understand each other . . . today," said James. He turned and looked the other way for a second, obviously contemplating something. "Well . . . I mean, I suppose I could make the message a little clearer . . ."

"Come on, Prongs," said Lupin with a slight bite in his voice. "That's enough now. Don't aggravate him too much."

"Oh, dear Moony," said James in a motherly tone. "I wasn't going to anyway. I know when to stop."

Sirius laughed. "It's good one of us does."

Wormtail walked hurriedly away with them, slightly lagging behind. He turned behind a pointed to Snape. "Yeah!" he shouted, clearly enjoying the fact that his friends were all obviously respected, popular people who he could hide behind when he called out insults.

"You just wait, Snape! We'll kick your a. . . ."

"Now, Wormtail. There is taunting, and there is just plain crudeness."

With a smirk that creased his mouth, he turned and walked away with his friends.


	2. To Hex Or Not To Hex

Chapter Two: _To Hex, or Not to Hex?_

James sat in the Great Hall the following morning, feeling slightly ashamed with himself. He was plagued with guilty thoughts and feelings about taunting Snape, something he was not at all happy about feeling. Yes, they had had confrontations before, James nearly always coming out on top, but what Lily had said to him . . . ("You're nothing but an arrogant, bullying toe rag, Potter!") Did she really think that low of him? Suddenly what she thought was very important to him. Prior to the half naked Snape incident, he had found Lilian Evans attractive, yes. But now, he came to the conclusion that he seriously liked her. He came to the swift conclusion that this was not to be known amongst his friends. OK, they were allowed to know he thought she was cute, but serious feelings? He'd never live it down. It wasn't what Quidditch heroes did anyway.

Sirius nudged a goblet to him. "What's up, Prongs? You look peaky, mate."

James snatched up the goblet. "Peaky? Don't be daft. Snape's the peaky one, remember?"

The Marauders laughed out loud. A group of girls down the far end of the Gryffindor table were laughing as well about something or other, but they were just leaving. Lily passed the table, her expression set, doing her utmost not to catch James's eye.

"Alright, Evans?" James chanced in a languid tone, not really looking at her but running a hand through his messy hair. If he had looked up, he would have caught a piercing green gaze of contempt, and heard her mutter under her breath, "pathetic." Her group of friends laughed more so at this comment, and one of them noticeably winked at Sirius as she passed. Another spoke. "Good luck with the Quidditch match, James!" she chirruped.

"Erm. . . thanks, Bella."

They stalked away, James trying hard not to stare at Lilly's receding back.

"Oh, I was supposed to tell you, Padfoot," said Peter between a mouthful of porridge. "Arabella Figg fancies you."

Sirius spat out a mouthful of pumpkin juice all over Lupin's plate. "_What?_"

"Oh, like you didn't know, Paddy," said James without looking up.

"Well,"her amongst others" was the message. Sorry, I forgot. I was doing Potions at the time, and we all know I can't exactly concentrate as it is in that lesson," said Wormtail, apparently not bothered by the news that had startled Sirius.

Lupin chuckled as he wiped his plate. "I'd lock your dormitory door if I were you, Padfoot."

Sirius nodded vigirously. "I plan to. But if we're gonna talk about girls, here, why don't we ask Prongs about a certain Muggle-born lady friend?" Sirius said, obviously rattled about the newfound knowledge of Arabella Figg.

James snorted, trying to make it look as though he was not remotely interested in Lily Evans or what she thought.

"Oh, well. Even if he's not interested in her, he's got plenty of other offers, haven't you, eh? James?" said Wormtail, almost proudly.

"What if he doesn't want any others?" snapped Lupin. "You can't keep moving between them all, you know."

Sirius looked highly affronted. "Give me one good reason why I can't!"

Lupin looked to James, ignoring both Sirus and Peter.

"What? Evans?" snorted James. "Don't be daft. OK, yeah, for a bit, maybe, but hey. She thinks I'm a conceited git, doesn't she?"

Sirius laughed. "Scratch the surface, my friend. Scratch the surface."

The roaring of the crowd chanting his name and the wind whipping his already untidy hair, James felt as though the Quidditch match had lasted only a few seconds. His hand whipped out at the last second, the crowd gasping at the spectacular way he leaned right over the edge of his broom, a Cleansweep 7, the most popular broom of it's time, and grasped the handle. He didn't have to, but James knew more people would compliment him if he made a more daring catch.

So, he waited until he was slightly closer to the ground, made a big thing of attempting to reach and not quite making it, (which he could easily have done) and threw himself into the catch. Shrieks and gasps from below told him he had earned the response he wanted, and he landed triumphantly on his side, the golden Snitch straining against his fingers.

Cheers erupted from the stands and James saw Snape land a little way away from him. Snape looked livid, and for a fleeting second, James felt his stomach contract. He was alone here, Snape was angry and, to be honest to himself, he had just hurt his ribs with his over-exaggerated fall.

"So, Potter. Another win," Snape spat as he wriggled off his oldere, clunkier broom. "I wonder how bored you will become of being such a pathetic hero."

"Oh, I'll never get bored of it," James said coolly, however he was eyeing suspiciously the way Snape had curled his fists. James knew from experience that Snape didn't like to lose. "Speaking of boredom, got anymore dirty laundry I can air for you infront of everyone?"

Snape flushed. "You. . . you wouldn't dare," he whispered. "Not in front of everyone here. Plus, you're all alone here, Potter. No Splendid Sirius to save you from me now."

"Save _me _from _you_? That's quite funny."

They were conversing quietly and the wind had picked up, so the other teammates could not catch what they were saying.

"If you ask me, you're the one that needs saving, Snivellus. Up to your ears in the Dark Arts, aren't you? It'll probably only be a matter of time before Voldemort comes looking for you. . . ."

Snape winced but couldn't hold his temper any longer. Years of being taunted by the arrogant, good-looking teenager who stood in front of him gave way to boiling anger. His face contorted as the name of the Dark Lord was mentioned. He pulled his wand out in a flash, and James, who was usually quicker than they were in Wild-West-Muggle-Movies, did not expect Snape to react so soon.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" bellowed Snape. Heads turned in their direction, not from the teachers who had since begun their way back up to the castle when the whistle had blown. Those who remained, now gathered round to watch the inevitable fight.

James was blasted to his knees, but this was not the only thing that happened. As he had done back by the lake, Snape had merged a spell that also blasted people off their feet but also caused damage. A gash, larger than the one Snape had caused earlier, appeared across James's face. It crossed his eyebrow, narrowly missing his eye, and traced down to the corner of his mouth.

"Haven't heard that one before, have you, Potter?" Snape spat. "That's how useful being up to your ears in Dark Arts is! My own invention!"

Snape raised his wand again to strike, to hurt. Out through the blood obscuring his right eye's vision, James saw the Marauders hurtling in his direction.

Wormtail was in the lead, wand raised but Snape had already cast his spell. It was a jink of some kind, and Wormtail went down with a hard, frumpy thump.

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

He wheezed on the ground, "Get. . . . get him. . . . Prongs!"

Snape turned his wand back on James, who was gingerly getting to his feet, wiping his face. The sound of Sirius behind him made Snape turn.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" James shouted, and Snape's wand soared through the sky and into his hand. A complicated swish later, involving the two wands held in his hand, Snape was suspended in mid air.

"Go on, then . . . Potter. If you think you can. . . ." Snape panted.

James squinted against the earlier pain in his ribs but also the most frequent ones in his face and knees. "You see the difference, Snivlley?" he asked maliciously. "I'm not like you. I don't need to cause real pain to get a kick. Making you appear the most unpopular, most slimy moron that you are, is enough for me."

Snape fell to the ground with a thud and James turned his back.

"You alright, Prongs?" asked Sirius, eyeing his cut.

"Fine, just a scratch." James turned again and saw a group of girls hurrying towards him. On of them was Lilly. His hear gave a huge jolt and his hand went automatically to his hair.

He turned quickly to Lupin and Sirius. "Quick!" he spat. "Make it bleed more!"

"What?" said Sirius, looking concerned.

"So she sees!" he said, hurriedly. "Make it look like I'm really hurt!"

Sirius laughed as Lilly streaked past them to Snape on the floor, not even sparing James the meagerist of glances.

James's heart writhed inside him with jealousy. He did not want to admit it, but he was in love with Lilly Evans. Now, all he had to do was get her to love him back, but that was turning out to be an impossible task.


	3. Press Cuttings

Chapter Three: _Press Cuttings_

James rolled over with a loud groan the next morning. He kicked off the tangled covers, which he felt were suffocating him. Sunlight streamed in through the open narrow window in the Gryffindor Common room and bathed his bead clothes in an orangey tint.

James strained to sit, but found the pain in his ribs was greater than he had originally anticipated. Why had he had to act like such a hero? And more importantly, why hadn't he swallowed his pride and gone to see Madam Pomfrey the night before? All he had now was a headache and an annoying pain. Well, the answer was, of course, so that Lily saw. But apparently she wasn't impressed.

He heaved himself out of bed and surveyed his fellow roommates. They were all spark out; Sirius was snoring yet again, Wormtail was muttering incoherently, and Lupin, as usual was silent. James wondered for a second if he was OK.

It was full moon tonight, and although they had a fantastic time as animals, he knew that the transformations were painful.

Upon surveying his young face in the mirror, James decided he would leave the gash as it was. If he went to Madam Pomfrey, she would only reduce the bruising, and that would make it less impressive. He wanted something to show for his fight with Snape. After fluffing his hair unnecessarily once more, he left for the Great Hall.

He didn't know what time it was, but he knew it was early because there was only about five or six people in the Great Hall. As he sat down, bacon and kippers appeared on his very plate. James never usually sat alone; it was not the done thing to do, being alone. It certainly wasn't the thing Quidditch captains or popular people did. But, still there were only a few people here to see him.

He dug his fork forcefully into the bacon and ate it in silence. It tasted too salty for him, and so to amuse himself, he glanced inconspicuously around the Hall. There were only two people on the Slytherin table, Nott and Avery. They were large, yet also slightly stupid. James had previously hexed them so badly they were in the hospital wing for two weeks undergoing emergency pimple removal because they had called Sirius a "black haired Blackie". Not the most equatious of insults.

There were only a few stragglers at the Ravenclaw table, no doubt catching up on homework. A girl over at the Hufflepuff table was smiling sweetly at him. He smirked back, almost awkwardly, not wanting to give off the wrong vibe for the hundredth time. Hogwarts girls were so predictable. . . all except one.

No sooner had he thought this, he glanced down the Gryffindor table, and there she was. James's heart gave a squirmful jolt and he slopped some of his pumpkin juice down his robes.

Lily was sitting alone, reading the Daily Prophet, her eyes somewhat red. James couldn't think why; her eyes were always so bright. He made up his decision over a period of five minutes. . .

_'Just go over and say something. Like what? How about, Hi Evans! Or, alright, Evans? _Or even, _hi Lily_. . . no, that would make him look like a sensitive loser._ Oh, just go over and say what ever you can think of. She can only hate you more than she already does. . . '_

One part of his brain was fighting with the other. One part won, and he found himself, against his will, wandering sheepishly over to Lily.

She didn't look up immediately; she seemed engrossed in the paper. Her red hair was obviously unbrushed yet still fell in curls around her shoulders. Her face was screwed up in a frown; her eyebrows knitted together, a look of concentration on her face. James cleared his throat.

Lily spun around, clearly irritated at the interruption. "What?" she snapped.

James did not know what to say. "Well . . . I . . . ah. . ."

She looked faintly amused, obviously enjoying his awkwardness. "You what? Never usually have problems talking to girls."

James blinked. "I'm . . . not having any trouble. Just thought I ought to let. . . let you know. That I'm ok, you know. From yesterday." It was such a stupid thing to say.

"Yesterday.. . .?"

"Well, with old Snivelly, and all that. In case you were wondering."

She snorted. "Well, I wasn't. That may shock you, I know. But your wellbeing isn't at the forefront of my every waking thought."

James was stumped. He was at a loss. "Oh, right." He saw the spare seat next to her, and did something against everything his brain was telling him to do. He sat down.

She looked at him, wearing an expression of mild annoyance and looking at him as though he was a particularly disgusting blast ended skrewt.

"So. . . .er. . . why so early then?" he asked weakly.

She hesitated, looking back at her paper again. "Why do you care?"

"Oh, you know, just interested."

"Well, if you must know, I had an argument with my friends. Not that it's any of your business." Her eyes flashed and went back to the empty plate in front of her.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Evans. Lily, I mean. . . ."

She didn't look up, but James caught her change of expression at these words.

"So, are you going to tell me what it was about?"

Lily snorted again, but this one was less vicious. "Something Snape said. My friend, Marietta said I should have cursed him."

James immediately went on the offensive. "What did he say?"

She looked him right in the eyes. He felt himself melting under her piercing gaze, as though she was radiating a heat that he was easily penetrated by. He tried not to show it and squinted. Lily sighed.

"He called me something."

"Not. . . not a m . . mud. . . ."

"Yes, that," she said quickly, to stop him from saying it.

James whirled around, as though expecting to see Snape come into the Hall that very second. "He. . . . he what? I'll kill him!"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous! He's a very disturbed person, is Severus Snape. You have to make allowances. I know that must be hard for someone like you, Potter. Someone who preys on the weak and enjoys seeing them suffer."

"Snape's not _weak ..._" He stopped himself. Probably not a good idea to get into Snape's psyche with Lily Evans.

James looked away. There was a pause whilst both sat in uncomfortable silence. This had seemed like such a good idea at the time. He tried to change the subject.

"So, um. . . .what are you reading?"

Lily didn't answer for a while. James wondered whether he should say it again, but stopped just before he embarrassed himself again.

"Something about Voldemort," she said finally. "He's attacked the Longbottoms. Well, not him exactly … some of his Death Eaters. Looks like they've been kidnapped."

James blinked. He hadn't heard anyone call the evil menace by the real name before. He never had a problem with it. But why this was, he couldn't say.

"That sounds bad. I'd guess, we should all be careful, then, eh?"

Lily frowned again, as though trying to work out whether he was being serious or whether he was taking the mickey out of her. He attempted a weak, pathetic smile, which did not reach his hazel eyes.

"I'm going to catch up on Transfiguration," she said and got up abruptly.

He stood up too, unnecessarily messing his hair once more. Lily rolled her eyes subtly. Boys could be such armpits sometimes. "Do you, er. . . need any help?"

Lily frowned. "No, thank you, Potter, I think I can find my way to the classroom all by myself. I have after all been here for five years."

She left James feeling hollow and empty. At least she had not yelled at him, or even hexd him; it was some source of progress. He looked down and read the article she had left in his hurry. What he read made him uneasy. He didn't know why; Voldemort would never have any reason to come after him after all.

To take his mind off the feeling Lily had left him in, he decided to plan the adventure he and his Marauding friends would have that very night.


	4. Burning Solutions

Chapter Four: _Burning Solutions_

It had taken Lily a long time to catch some sleep that night; but she could not think why. Sounds came from other beds in the dormitory and she was trying almost too hard to ignore them all. As the breathing sounds slowly became more and more peacefully regular, she drifted off into a restless dream. . .

She was in a house, a nice house at that. Upstairs. . . she felt strangely at home here, but at the same time knew that she had never been here before previously. It was oddly hazy; she wanted to make out the surroundings but found that when her pupils attempted to define the shapes around her, they only became hazier. This was very frustrating. She turned sharply at a noise behind her, almost a creak. Someone was in the room with her. She could make out their shape, yet, like the house, knew almost instantly that this person would not harm her. In fact, she wouldn't ever be safer with anyone else. . .

The other figure was shouting. She couldn't make out exactly what was being said; the voice was muffled, fairly similar to the objects in the room. She got the gist, however, that the voice was anxious. Willing her to do something, or not something. The figure suddenly turned, and left down the stairs out on the landing. Lily felt horror suddenly creep up her spine. The person couldn't leave! She was only safe as long as she was with them. Now she felt vulnerably unprotected and weak; she hated feeling weak, as she knew that she was not.

Someone else entered the room, and she felt, for a fleeting second, that she was safe again. But something was wrong. . . it wasn't the same person. With a horrible jolt of anxiety, she knew the other person must be gone. . . all was lost. . .

"Lily? LILY!"

Someone was shouting at her. It was a horrible experience to not have the knowledge of whether you are awake or still dreaming. When she was shaken by the shoulders, she realized happily that she must have materialized back into the real world at some point. For this, she was glad. That dream had been so chilling. . .

"Oh for Merlin's Sake, will you get up!" shrieked her friend, Marietta.

Lily groaned. "Oh, God, ok!" She looked up at the girl with curly hair in front of her. "I thought you weren't talking to me?"

Marietta blushed. "Oh, I'm over that now anyway. Come on, we're going to be late for Transfiguration! No time for breakfast!"

Lily pored over her Transformation Book 6, willing herself to understand the gruesome diagrams that were supposed to be helping her to write her essay. It wasn't working; her brain was still on the dream. Instead, she glanced around the room. Everyone had their heads down, Snape most of all it seemed. His nose was almost touching the page as he read, and Lily was strongly reminded of the joke that James and Sirius had played a few days ago. Snape sensed someone was watching him and looked up sharply in an almost spider-like fashion. His black hollow eyes flashed at her, and she looked quickly away. Her eyes fell on the only other people in the class that weren't looking at the textbook.

James was leaning forwards, forced to whisper so as Professor McGonnagal didn't hear. She was looking very critically at their previous essays, her mouth forming the thinnest of lines, her glasses half way down her bony nose.

"If we use the Invisibility Cloak, like last time, we can wait until we're out in the grounds and then transform just before we're in the Shrieking Shack."

Lupin nodded. "OK, just make sure you do it before you're in this time. That was a close shave last time, Padfoot. I nearly ate you."

They snickered softly and Sirius said, "Oh yeah. That was funny."

"You may laugh about it now," Lupin said sternly, "But if it happens again, you may not be so amused."

"Alright, alright. I tell you what, we'll transform first, there. Are you happy now?"

"I'm never happy before full moon. We'll get caught one day, you know. Snape is. . ."

"Please tell me you meant to say Snivellus," said James in a ringing tone.

"Whatever," Lupin snapped. ""He's very curious where we go each month you know. He'd love nothing better than to catch us in the act. Especially you, Prongs. You know how much he hates you."

"Oh, just think of the possibilities," murmured James dreamily. "I could trample him to death and he'd never know it was me."

"JAMES POTTER!" shouted McGonnagal. He winced. "Could you kindly give me a plausible reason as to why you are not reading with the rest of the class?"

"Um. . . ." James contemplated a good excuse and found none. "Actually?. . . No."

"I thought as much. Now if you do not get on with this, I will dock points. Yes, Potter, from my own house!"

They carried on in silence. James scrawled a note to Sirius. ("Shall we go into the forest tonight as well?")

Sirius scribbled back, ("Plan!") and James thought that was enough to keep him happy during the pointless reading of the textbook he could have written.

Over the other side of the classroom, Lily frowned at the Marauders. "What are they up to?" she said aloud to herself.

"What was that, Miss Evans?" said Professor McGonnagal suspiciously.

"Oh. . . I. . . nothing. Nothing, Professor."

James caught Lily's eye and winked at her. She ignored him, but the fact that Snape also kept glaring apprehensively at them, she had the nagging suspicion that something was going to happen that night.

Something also happened later that day that would completely change the events as they would have happened. During Potions, easily one of the most difficult lessons of all, Wormtail somehow managed to slop a flesh dissolving potion all down his front and stared in horror as his chest rapidly began to evaporate.

"AHHHH!" he yelled. "IT BURNS! STOP IT! GET IT OFF!"

James grabbed Peter by the arm that was not dissolving and rushed him off to the hospital wing amidst shrieks of pain before the Potions Master could so much as object.

The rosy cheeked Madam Pomfrey managed to stop Peter's entire torso from dissolving, however, he was wrapped in many bandages and resembled the appearance of an unhappy Banshee rapped in toilet paper.

"Oh, Goodness," said the Matron later. "I don't know what would have happened if it hadn't been for you, Mr Potter! If you hadn't got him here fast enough. . . well I dread to think."

James beamed at the praise as the other three Marauders visited Wormtail later that evening. When Madame Pomfrey left to fuss over a girl in the corner with a bad case of boils, Wormtail spoke in a hushed, yet miserable voice.

"I'm so sorry about tonight, guys. You still go though. Go on, go without me."

James cut him off. "What? Don't be ridiculous!"

"Yeah, Wormy! We can't go without the prime rat! It wouldn't be right!" said Sirius, backing up his best friend. Wormtail smiled feebly.

"I'm sorry, Moony. I know the only thing that makes it bearable for you is us."

Lupin waved a hand impatiently. "Oh, don't be silly. It's only one night. I'm going to have a whale of a time on my own. Plus, the next adventure's only a month away!"

"Exactly," said Sirius.

Wormtail turned his mousy brown head towards James. "Thanks, Prongs, for getting me out like that."

James beamed. "No problem!" he turned quietly to Sirius. "Was she watching?"

"Who?"

"Evans!"

"Oh! Well, no not exactly. She was talking to Professor Dimwit. (James's face fell.) "But I'm sure they'll be other opportunities mate!" said Sirius encouragingly.

There was a period of silence for a few seconds. Until . . . "By the way, Wormtail, how exactly _did _you manage to slop the entire solution down your front?" asked James.

Peter's face suddenly became twitchy. "Ah. . . well. . . I wasn't going to tell you, but. . . promise you wont do anything stupid?" he looked to James. "Prongs?"

James looked affronted. "What? There is a reason why stupid is not my middle name, you know."

"What is it, Peter?" asked Lupin seriously.

"Well. . . it was. . . it was Snape."

"WHAT?"

"Well, he kind of banged into me and. . . well it's only 'cos I laughed at his hair, but. . . he pushed me and. . . well." He signalled to his chest. "Voilla."

"I don't believe it!" said Lupin.

"Git," said Sirius. But James was already out of the door.

"PRONGS!" shouted Wormtail. "YOU PROMISED!"

"No, I didn't," said James quietly as he left the hospital wing in search of Snape.

"Uh oh," said Peter who sunk down in his bed, waiting for the blow to fall.


	5. Unexpected Saviour

Chapter Five: _An Unexpected Saviour_

Snape was sat outside in the grounds, reading through some notes unnecessarily. His greasy forehead was screwed up in a frown as he tried to concentrate on what he had previously written and his hair was once again flopping limply around his pallid face. He couldn't concentrate for a very good reason; he still had that fabulous memory of nearly causing that stupid little Peter Pettigrew's torso to disappear. The look on his fat face had been priceless. Snape knew he wouldn't have had the nerve to tell any of his 'big friends', but he knew secretly that Pettigrew was the only person out of the four that he could have got away with nearly dissolving. Instead, he settled for the fantasy of pouring a totally undiluted burning potion all over that arrogant James Potter's head, and this helped him to read a little more clearly.

Inside the castle, James marched down the staircase through the Great Hall, his heart hammering loudly in his chest and an odd ringing in his ears.

'How dare he . . . how DARE he? What makes that slime-ball think he has the right to pick on MY friends just to get at me?' thought James. 'Because that's what this is really all about.'

James passed many people on the way to the grounds where he knew the little oddball would be hiding, poring over some stupid useless exam paper again. Younger pupils took one look at James's face and decided it was best to get out of the way. James Potter was largely known as a joker and a fun person to swoon over and generally be around, but there often appeared a fire in his deep hazel eyes that made people unnerved when he was angry. That fire was there now and everyone had the sense to get out of his way as he strode with a purpose, wand gripped tightly in his hand.

"PRONGS!" shouted Lupin from behind him. James ignored him. "PRONGS! Come on, now, don't be so rash! Maybe it was an accident!"

James stopped in his tracks and rounded on Lupin. "An ACCIDENT? How thick are you, Moony? This is just to get back at us for the hexes at the lake! Don't you see? Snape doesn't know the meaning of the word 'accident!'" and he resumed his intentional striding.

"But. . . James. . . this is exactly what he wants! Why do you think he did it? So we'd get angry! To provoke YOU! See sense, for Merlin's sake!"

But James ignored him. He knew perfectly well that Lupin was probably right, but the anger had not yet subsided. In fact, it was still boiling in his blood with a vengeance. If anything, Lupin's tirade was only making him walk faster.

"Padfoot! Back me up, here!" cried Lupin to Sirius who was hurrying along next to James.

"Don't be ridiculous, Moony! You think I'm going to pass out on an excuse to ridicule Snivellus?" Snape chucked.

James spoke, still walking. "It's not an excuse! It's a reason! He could have seriously damaged Wormtail."

"And what if he had? What would you do then? Kill him?" spat Lupin. James stopped suddenly and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm not like him, Moony," he said quietly, slightly offended at the suggestion that was being made. "I would never do something like that."

"No? Well, you're beginning to act like it, James. Because this isn't a joke anymore, it's getting out of hand." And he turned on his heel and left them both standing there.

After a few seconds, Sirius touched James's arm and said, "Come on."

BAM. The door out on to the grounds flew open with such force that it banged back against the doorway making a loud bang. People jumped in surprise and scuttled out of the way of two people advancing towards someone under a tree, wands raised.

Snape got to his knees; in truth, he had not expected Wormtail to say anything to James or Sirius. He always thought Peter would have been made to look weak and stupid had he said anything about the Potions lesson, but apparently, judging by the look on James Potter's face, the stupid little rat had over looked the embarrassment of nearly being dissolved by him. Snape felt in his pocket for a wand and tightened his fingers around it.

Over by the lake again, cooling their feet, taking full advantage of a well-deserved break and the sunshine, Lily and her friends were basking in the warmth when the noise of the great door banging jerked them out of their trance.

"Oh, my. . ." said one of Lily's friends. "What. . . they're going towards Severus again!"

Lily frowned, yet for some reason she held back this time. James looked madder than she had ever seen him.

"Oooh, they look really angry!" said Marietta.

"Oh, Potter looks soooo fine when he's mad, don't you think?" said another girl nearby.

"They both do," muttered Arabella under her breath. Lily glared at her.

"They both look like they're spoiling for a fight to me," said Lily. "What a pair of egotistical trouble-makers."

"Well, making trouble or not, I'd keep away this time, if I were you, Lily. I, amongst anyone with a brain wouldn't want to get in the way of James Potter's wand."

The other girls nodded in agreement, but Lily stared over in resentment.

Snape was on his feet by the time that Sirius and James were in a few feet of him. They both glared at each other, an equal amount of loathing in their eyes.

James turned to Sirius, but still glared at Snape. "Interesting Potions lesson, wasn't it, Padfoot?" he said loudly and sarcastically. Once again, as they had done before, people came over to watch. But this time, there wasn't an air of amusement lingering, there was tension. People were watching apprehensively, some with their hands over their mouths.

"Yeah, I thought so too. There was just one hiccup though," said Sirius, also looking to Snape.

"That wouldn't be the hiccup I'm thinking of where one of our best friends was nearly burnt into little pieces, would it?" snarled James.

"Yeah, yeah I think that's what happened. Maybe we should ask someone about that."

James took one step towards Snape. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you now, Snivelly?" said James in a malicious tone.

Snape blinked. "What if I do?" he asked defensively.

James looked to his right, appearing to be contemplating something. "Well," he said, deliberate to the point. "I'm not sure really. Maybe this?"

There was a flash of light and, for the third time that week, Snape was hung upside down, again trying to cover up his underpants, which were no longer grey. This caused many people to laugh as they remembered from before when they looked dirty. Snape had obviously washed them as a result of the taunting. He now began swearing non-stop at them.

"I thought I told you once before to wash out your mouth? SCOURGIFY!" James bellowed.

Bubbles emitted from Snape's mouth, and his dangling arms attempted to prevent himself from choking. Over by the lake, Lily could not stand it any more. She got to her feet and stood with her hands on her hips.

Sirius whispered in James's ears. "Oi Prongs, she's watching."

James glanced over to his left, most of the anger he had been feeling subsiding now, as the vision of a helpless Snape swam before his eyes. This, combined with Lily Evans striding angrily towards him, made his anger almost leave him completely.

"What am I going to do now?" he asked desperately.

"Well, we can't stop getting our own back just for a girl, can we?" asked Sirius indignantly.

James answered very quickly. "No! Course not!" He turned back to Snape.

"Well, Snivellus, I think this is a perfect opportunity for us to have a little chat."

Snape glared upside-down at James. "Save. . . save your breath, Potter. . ." he panted. "I'll . . . I'll get you later."

James and Sirius guffawed with laughter. "You'll get us later? OK then, we'll give you a minute to compose yourself."

Snape continued to glare. "You . . . t . . . think sl. . . slashing your face is the . . . the only w. . . way to get you?" muttered Snape.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch the meaning of that, Snivs. Maybe my ears need boggling. I'm sure yours do."

There was another bang, and Snape's ears had swelled to three times their normal size. Snape kicked his legs in pain, and didn't stop until they had resumed to normal.

"When I find out. . . where you . . . where you go every month . . . you're going to be expelled," he panted.

Sirius and James glanced at each other with mock confusion.

"And how exactly are you going to find out that, Snivs?" asked Sirius, enjoying the sight of Snape's head swelling due to the pressure of being upside-down for so long.

"Here, Paddy, we'd better turn him up. If he dies, we'll have to fill out loads of forms and it could be very damaging if we ever apply for jobs you know," said James sardonically.

"Oh, alright then, if you insist."

Snape flopped back onto the grass. James turned around and his stomach gave an ungainly back flip. Lily looked livid. He could see her green eyes shining from the distance as she stormed over, her red hair swinging as she marched and catching the dying rays of the setting sun. "Potter! Stop it!" she yelled once again.

"Ah, Evans. I remember telling you I'd have to hex you if you did this little 'stick up for Snivelly' thing again."

Lily took out her wand. Sirius and James blanched at this movement; they had not really been planning on hexing her. "And I remember telling you frequently to leave . . . him . . . alone!" she yelled.

James scratched his head, apparently thinking. "Wasn't there also that offer of going out with me, then I'd leave him alone?"

Lily scowled at him. "I told you, I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you . . ."

"Yeah, yeah, and the giant squid, I know. Personally, I find the squid rather attractive, but it's your call, Evans."

Sirius laughed, and so did a few others.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, my dear," said James, "I have pressing matters with Sniv . . ."

But Snape had already thrown his curse. "AMPIPAIN!" he bellowed. Sirius flew into a tree and James yelled in pain, thrashing violently on the floor. Snape wandered towards him. Sirius made a move, but found himself obstructed by an invisible wall.

"Another turn around, Potter," he said quietly, but loudly enough so that Lily and Sirius could hear. "Did you like that one? Works similarly to the Cruciatus Curse, but it's nowhere near as closely monitored. Not an Azkaban sentence anyway. Can't think why, myself."

He still did not lift the curse and James felt his eyes watering with pain. He hadn't ever felt like this before, never felt pain so harsh it was white hot, like a thousand knives; never had spots appear in front of his eyes. He refused to let himself twitch or shout out again; that would only make Snape happy. He heard Lily's voice distant again.

"Snape! Stop it! Lift the curse!" she cried, looking helplessly down at James.

"Shut up, Mudblood," he cursed spitefully.

James squinted in protest on the floor, Snape's wand still pointed steadily at him.

"You wanted to talk, didn't you Potter? Why don't we have that little chat now?" Snape said maliciously.

Whether Snape had thought Lily wouldn't have the nerve to stop him, or whether it was just his use of the word 'Mudblood' that had touched a nerve, he would never know. Lily lifted her wand.

"IMPEDIMENTA!" she shouted and Snape keeled over sideways. She obviously had a gift with jinxes; Snape was knocked out cold.

Sirius was now able to clamber over, and James gingerly got to his feet. He looked at her, unsure of her reaction. He ached all over, the curse having still not completely worn off.

"Don't think I just did that because I like you," she said quitly. "I just don't like to see another person in pain."

James nodded shakily. "Right. Well . . . thanks anyway."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips but did not break out. "No problem." And she left to go back to her friends, staring at her in awe.

"You OK, Padfoot?" said James.

"Me? Never mind me! What about you? That was . . . plain evil is what that was!" he snarled, looking at Snape.

"Oh, I'm fine," James lied, trying to shrug off the fact that Snape had come very close to causing a serious scene. He hurt like never before. "C'mon. Let's go apologise to Moony. He means well."

"What about Snape?" Sirius asked, signalling to his unconscious form under the tree with malice in his voice. "He should pay for that."

"Screw him," he said and left. "You coming?"

Sirius looked down at Snape. "Um . . . yeah, in a sec. I just want to go and talk to . . . Arabella."

"Oh really? Well," he chuckled. "Ahem. Good luck, mate. May the force be with you." And he was gone.

Sirius, however, did not go over to Arabella who was eyeing him hopefully. Instead, he bent down over Snape, hatred pulsing through him for what Snape had just subjected his best friend to. "_Enerverate_," he muttered and Snape's eyes flickered. Sirius knew he could hear him.

"You want to find out where we go every month, you little weasel?" he snapped quietly. "Why don't you go to the Whomping Willow tonight, prod the knot between the branches and find what's at the end of the tunnel?"

Sirius straightened up, turned his back on Snape, who was rising uneasily and followed the path his friend had taken seconds before.


	6. Wild Thing

Chapter Six: _Wild Thing _

James lay in bed, streams of light from the dying sun filtering through onto his bed sheets creating sinister patterns from the swaying trees outside. Again, he could not sleep. This was due to two things; one, he hurt like never before from that abominable curse Snape had subjected him to, and also, he was thinking about Lupin, all alone in the Shrieking Shack, no fun to be had at all. As animals, they were able to keep him company as a werewolf is only a danger to humans. And now, thanks once again to Snivellus, he would be alone. He cursed Snape mentally on both accounts. But now, as he thought about it, Lily had saved him. She had gone out of her way to save him from being hurt. What did that mean? Did she like him now? No, she had made that perfectly clear enough. But it had to mean something, didn't it?

He glanced outside again; it was dark now, but the moon had not yet appeared. This meant that Lupin would still be in human form. James shifted restlessly, still unable to be comfortable. His ribs were badly bruised and however he lay, they throbbed painfully. He heard a snore from Sirius, but it sounded oddly fake. He had heard Sirius snore enough times to know when they weren't genuine.

"Still awake, Padfoot?" he said softly through the shadows.

The snoring stopped. "How could you tell?" came the voice of his best friend.

"You snore too often."

Sirius chuckled quietly, but it was forced. James knew instantly that something was up. He knew Sirius almost better than he knew himself. He sat up and squinted over at the bed next to him.

"What is it?"

Sirius sat up also, out looked away. "I'm worried," he said quietly.

"What about? Moony?"

Sirius paused. "Well, yes and no. I mean, yes in the sense he's alone, but no in the sense that it's something else."

James was wide-awake now. "What do you mean?" he asked, forcing Sirius to turn around and look him in the eyes.

Sirius suddenly looked scared. This unnerved James, as these expressions were reserved for each other only, yet still, they were rare. "I think I've done something stupid."

"What?" James said urgently.

There was a pause as Sirius chose his words. "I told Snape how to find Moony."

James's mouth fell open. "YOU DID WHAT?" he shouted, forgetting that there was a room full of sleeping people surrounding him. They stirred but did not wake.

"Keep your voice down!"

"When? W - why?" said James desperately, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

"Today! By the lake, just because . . . because of what he did to you! And Wormtail. I couldn't let him get away with that, Prongs! I saw how much that hurt, and you can't fool me," he said, willing his best friend to understand.

"Sirius, you idiot!" James hissed. "Remus will rip him to shreds!"

"No, he won't, he'll just . . . shake him up a bit. He deserves it anyway! Sneaking about all the time, trying to find out what we're up to. He probably won't even go anyway!" But even as he said the words, he knew they were not true.

"That's bull, and you know it. Sirius, do you know what will happen? Snape will die, and your life will be ruined with a life sentence in Azkaban!"

Sirius frowned and tried to shrug it off. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Do you know what that place does to you? It sucks out all your insides. All your emotions, everything is gone when the Dementors get to you."

Sirius looked sceptically at him. "That would never happen."

But James was already pulling on trousers and a white vest top.

"Prongs, what are you going to do?" breathed Sirius almost fearfully. But James had already dashed out of the dormitory, Sirius debating whether or not to follow and see how the situation unfolded.

In the common room downstairs, Lily rubbed her eyes furiously, willing them to stay open. The notes held in her hands were simply blurring into one whole mass of jumbled text, which made about as much sense as blotted ink on toilet paper. She knew it must be really late; the embers in the fire were dying and she couldn't be bothered to light it again. Just as she felt ready to pack it all in and go up to a soft bed lined with fluffy pillows, a crashing noise behind her made her jump to her feet. Someone was hurtling down from the boys' dormitories.

"Potter! What are you doing?" she hissed at him. "I thought there was an elephant behind me. You'll wake everyone up!"

James really did not know what to do. Here was Lily, standing alone in the common room, illuminated stunningly in firelight, hands on hips, talking to him. And he was going off to save Snape. Life did not make sense.

"Urm . . . Evans . . . I need to . . . I need to go and help someone."

"Help someone?" she repeated doubtfully. "You?"

"Yeah." James looked at her, and contemplated for a second what he was doing. Why was he going to save Snape? Sirius was right; it WOULD serve him right. He was constantly trying to get them all into trouble just because he was jealous. It would serve him right if he was hurt . . . but a part of him knew he wouldn't just be hurt. And Sirius would have to take the consequences of that. There was nothing for it.

"So I'd love to stay and chat, believe me I really would, but, yeah. I have to go." He made for the portrait hole reluctantly, but she silenced him with a warning tone.

"I don't think so, Potter. I'm a Prefect and I absolutely forbid you to leave now. It's midnight for Merlin's Sake!"

James grimaced and frowned. Why now? "Listen, Evans . . . I mean _Lily_," (her eyebrows raised even more) "this is really important and I have to go. And you're not going to stop me. So, if you want to manhandle me, please. Feel free." He held his arms open.

Her mouth hung open. How dare he speak to her like that? More than once! How dare he stand there with his black hair all messy, sticking up yet looking handsomely ruffled, with his mischievously hazel eyes glinting in the dying light, with his muscles now more obvious protruding from that white vest . . .

Lily shook her head. "No," she said. "You're not going. You cannot just . . ." But he ignored her and ran, full pelt down the staircase. Unknowingly, Professor McGonnagal had been woken by the noise of someone clattering about and jerked awake. Lily followed him, but there was no way on wizard's earth she could keep up; he ran like the wind.

Snape edged his way along the slimy passageway with a horrible sense of foreboding. He knew how foolish it must make him seem to take advice from someone like Sirius Black, which would no doubt be bad, yet for some reason, he had to follow it up. He had said it with so much hatred, so much sarcasm-like mocking, that he had almost dared him to do it. Snape had to show them all, especially Potter, how willing he was to have them all expelled.

He had prodded the knot, like Sirius had said, and was astonished when the Willow stopped Whomping. Seeing it as a sign, he had continued down the passageway. It was sloping upwards and he could feel cold air meeting the warmer, feted humidity of the tunnel, it had to be close . . . yes, light was coming from up ahead. Now he would finally find out what all the fuss was about. Ahead, he saw an old door and sped up to get there faster . . .

Not far behind him, James sprinted down to the Willow. He had no idea how much of a head start Snape had, but felt sure that he had come. Snivellus never missed out a potential chance to get him into trouble. And now, he was going to save his life. What a loser he was.

Lily was also running as fast as she could. She thought she had seen James disappear into the Whomping Willow, but that was impossible! That tree whacked anyone who got within twenty feet of it! She had no idea how to freeze the branches, and so had no choice but to settle herself down on the patch of grass, wrap her hands around her knees and wait for the arrogant pest, James Potter, for whom she was risking a detention for while up over her head, the black clouds cleared to reveal a very large, white shining moon.

Back in the tunnel, Snape's hand was on the door as he pushed it open with apprehension. A scuffle behind him made him stop in his tracks. Potter was hurtling towards him. Snape got out his wand quickly and pointed it at James.

"SNAPE! What are you doing here, you great prat?" James shouted, his voice echoing off the wet walls.

Snape sneered. "Come to stop me from seeing the great secret, have you, Potter? Well you should have saved your legs. Your so called friend told me how to find out!" His breath was ragged and harsh from excitement.

"You don't understand, you great greasy idiot! He did it on purpose! You'll get us both killed, just don't open that door!" he shouted, willing Snape's oily head to comprehend.

But that was obviously the wrong thing to say. "What, you mean _this_ door?"

Snape pushed it with his free hand, and it creaked open. The sight that met their eyes was seemingly normal. For about three seconds.

Lupin was curled up on the table, in human form. He turned sharply at the noise and came face to face with them both.

When he saw it was James and Snape standing there, all the blood seemed to drain from his face and he looked horrified.

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing here? What's HE doing here, James?" he said hurriedly, his voice shaking.

"Never mind, Snape, get . . . out . . . of . . . here!" James said trying to grab hold of SNape and haul him away.

But Snape was watching Lupin. He was cut off in mid sentence as his body became rigid. He began to shake and curled up once more, an astonishing transformation taking place. When he unfolded himself, James and Snape were standing in front of a large, very real werewolf.

"AHA!" yelled Snape, momentarily distracted by his own triumph than to let the appearance of a werewolf startle him immediately. "I KNEW YOU WERE UPTO SOMETHING!"

"SHUT UP! MOVE!" James yelled, but Snape was rooted to the spot. James did not know whether it was because he was frozen out of fear, or whether he was a brain-dead weirdo; he didn't much care. He threw them both backwards, dragging Snape as he went, shutting the door behind them. He knew they only had a few seconds before the door broke, and grabbed a struggling Snape by the neck of the robes.

"GET . . . OFF . . . POTTER!" he yelled. "I CAN . . . KILL THE WEREWOLF!"

"You're not killing anything, you moron, now come on!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO BE EXPELLED FOR THIS!" he blabbered at full volume.

James thought he was being rather stupid. He had hoped of slipping out quietly away from Lupin. _'No, this isn't Moony' _thought James. _'This is a hungry beast. Moony's gone for the night.'_

"Yeah, yeah, sure I am. Move!"

"I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE . . ."

"MOVE!"

James did not know how he got Snape back down the passageway; all he knew was that he was putting up a tremendous fight, and they both heard the door splinter open half way down the passageway. If anything, it made him drag Snape harder, still shouting random insults and threats, which were useless as James had snatched his wand as he snatched his robes, thinking Snape would rather hex him to death than be saved by him.

Back up on higher ground, Lily heard the commotion and got hastily to her feet. What she saw made her stop in her tracks. Potter had Severus Snape by the robes and was dragging him away from the Whomping Willow.

"POTTER! What are you doing? Let him go!"

James saw Lily and panicked. "Lily! What are you doing out of here! It's not safe! Look, take Snape back to the castle, get someone, and. . ."

"James, what . . ."

"Lily, it's not safe here! Please, just go and. . ." But he couldn't finish. The werewolf had burst through the entrance way to the tree with an almighty crash and was advancing on them, a hungry look in his bleak, unfeeling eyes.

"Merlin!" Lily breathed, her form going rigid.

James knew an easy way of controlling the situation would be to transform into a stag, and then he could take Lupin back to the Shack and seal the door. But he couldn't do that in front of all these people; he'd be expelled for sure then. Instead, he threw Snape with all his might away from him and the werewolf, taking out his wand. Lupin, sensing the movement, dived at Snape.

"_PANGARAMOUS_!" James shouted.

The Stunning spell hit the werewolf squarely in the chest and he staggered. James had never Stunned a werewolf before, and didn't know how it would react. In truth, nothing happened except it was momentarily slowed. Not for long, however, it turned around, sensed Lily on the floor, and went for her instead.

James's heart contracted in fear. If Lily was hurt . . . all because of stupid Snivellus's desire to have him expelled . . .

She seemed frozen to the spot, her eyes wide and bulging, unable to accept the reality that in about a second, a werewolf would be ripping her to shreds. The scene flickered oddly before James's eyes, like a slow motion old Muggle film. He sprinted towards her and jumped, ramming himself into Lily and they both rolled out of the way as the werewolf grazed James's heals; both landing with a thud while the werewolf-Lupin collided with a tree. Lily felt all the air knocked out of her as they were forced to stand quickly, ready for another attack.

James stood in front of Lily, determined to shield and protect her. Snape was still on the ground; James was glad he had finally mustered the sense to remain motionless.

James breathed out shakily. If Lupin was going to attack anyone first, it would have to be him, he could not let Lily be hurt. He held his wand in front of him, like a sword. He stared into the werewolf's eyes, willing the real Lupin to see through, see he was about to attack his friend, see how stupid it was. But Lupin could not see through. All the werewolf could see was a large dinner. James could feel Lily trembling behind him, her hand clutched his shoulder. . .

"_SHIELDUSEMPRA_!" James shouted and just as the werewolf leaped, an invisible yet air rippling shield appeared in front of Lily and himself.

The werewolf hurled himself at the shield; it rippled dangerously but remained intact. James knew it would not last for long. He looked around for Snape, determined to get them all back up to the castle unscathed . . . but even as he thought this, his shield charm shattered with a loud bang and a force which once again knocked him and Lily off their feet.

The werewolf reared and jumped, teeth gnashing, claws slashing the air. James threw his arms over Lily, _'any second now_ . . .' he thought, almost feeling the pain of the claws carving his flesh before it happened. He screwed up his eyes tight . . .

"_IMPEDIMENTA MAXIMUS_!" bellowed another voice.

But it was not from Snape. The werewolf fell in a heap onto the ground, panting, immobilised and unable to rise further. They were saved.

McGonnagal stood, framed in the moonlight above, tartan dressing gown rippling fiercely in the wind. She looked livid; a muscle was twitching in her jaw.

"I hope you all have a _very_ good explanation for this," she said dangerously. But James didn't care if he got a month's worth of detentions. He slumped back onto the grass and let the wonderful feeling of relief flood through him as Lily stared, appalled up at McGonnagal.


	7. Too Close

Chapter Seven: _Too Close_

Lily blinked up at Professor McGonagall, whose face was not yet lined, and instead young and full of life, yet at the moment full of apprehension. She cleared her throat and looked back to James. He smiled weakly, yet knew that the cheeky expression would not get him out of trouble this time, as it had so often before. Snape was sat in the shadows, paler than usual but the fear had gone from his face and was replaced with white fury.

"And is that what happened?" McGonagall said turning to Lily.

Lily nodded. "Yes," she said looking towards James. "We would have died otherwise." She said this almost reluctantly. "Potter dragged Severus out and then . . . well, you saw what happened. I imagine he was trying to get them both out of the way."

Snape glowered at James who returned the look with an overly fake smile.

"And you say you didn't know what was going on until they emerged from the tree, Miss Evans?"

"Yes!" said Lily indignantly. "I tried to stop Potter from going out back in the dormitory, but I waited because I wanted to . . ."

"Yes, alright Miss Evans, there will be no punishment for you. You are, however, not to repeat any of this to _anybody_," said McGonagall sternly.

Lily nodded and rose from her chair. Suddenly, she stopped and turned towards the stern Professor as though the thought had only just occured to her.

"Professor, can I ask . . . who was the werewolf?"

James could not believe how lucky it was that she had not known it was Lupin. He looked quickly to Professor McGonagall. She couldn't tell . . . she _wouldn't _. . .

"Miss Evans, you understand that I am not at liberty to discuss this with you. You will ask no more questions, return to your dormitory and go straight up to bed."

Lily nodded. "Yes, Professor." And she left James alone with McGonagall and Snape, which he was not overly pleased about.

Professor McGonagall surveyed James for a long time over her glasses.

"I really do not know what to do with the pair of you. Potter, I don't know whether I should give you a hundred points or take them away!" she said sighing. "It will be up to Professor Dumbledore to decide," she said abruptly, and left. James seriously hoped she would not be gone for long.

"I told you I'd find out," said Snape darkly from the corner, the guttering candle illuminating his wan face. "This is what you get for humiliating people, Potter."

James chose not to reply. He was now really annoyed. He had just risked his own life, twice, to save two people from a vicious beast due to something he had not even said. One person he had saved had earlier subjected him to the most pain he had ever experienced, the other thought he was an arrogant bullying toe-rag. Why had he bothered? Now he had to endure Snape's snide comments. One more, and he would just hex him right in the face . . .

"Thought you'd get points for heroism, Potter? Looks like Black's plan backfired. Obviously you two don't think on the same wavelength," he said even more maliciously, pressing his advantage.

Still, James said nothing.

"That's a weakness, you know. All people who favour bravery over cleverness will end up dead. Mark my words."

James clutched the arm of his chair until his knuckles went white. _'Don't rise_,' he thought. _'It's just what he wants.' _But Snape pressed on without remorse.

"I always thought Lupin was a bit of a weirdo. Half-breed is he? Thought _she'd _like you more by saving her worthless skin, did you? The Mudblood, I mean?"

James jumped to his feet, wand in his hand, as did Snape. Just as the two drew breath to bellow spells, the office door flew open. A much younger Dumbledore stood framed in the light of the doorway. From beneath his piercing blue eyes, a heat seemed to radiate from him, and both lowered their wands hastily.

"Not interrupting anything, I hope?" he asked calmly as though he had seen nothing. James sat down qiuckly in the chair, as did Snape, but at a more leisurely pace.

When Dumbledore spoke it was with easy calmness. "Professor McGonagall has told me of the interesting situation she found three of my students in out in the grounds," he said, as though discussing the weather. "May I ask you a question, Severus?" he said sitting down and turning to Snape whose black and hollow eyes was attempting to avert from Dumbledore's piercing blue gaze.

Snape looked apprehensive, yet nodded all the same.

"Why did you decide to go down to the Whomping Willow this evening?" Dumbledore asked quietly, boring into Snape's eyes, willing him to tell the truth. "What could have possibly motivated you to do so?"

Snape paused, and then said, "I was tipped off, Sir."

Dumbledore raised a withered old finger. "Ah, yes. But not by Mr Potter here, as you would have led Professor McGonagall to believe, I think. Am I right?" he asked.

James was amazed. He had fully intended to take the flack for Sirius, but here was Dumbledore, plain as brass, speaking as though he had been standing there in the dormitory when Sirius told James of what he had done.

Sirius nodded. "It was . . ." but Snape was cut off mid-revelation.

"I do not wish to hear names, however, I must first make one thing very clear to you, Severus. I am aware that you have been alerted to the situation of Remus Lupin. It is unfortunate that you should find out this way, however I must impress upon you the seriousness of the concept, and I want you to appreciate that you hold powerful knowledge," said Dumbledore not sternly, but it was plainly obvious to anyone who could hear him, that he fully meant what he said.

Snape looked at the floor, as though annoyed that this conversation was taking place.

"As a personal request from me, I must ask you to swear to secrecy what you have witnessed tonight. It would not be fair to flaunt the abnormality that Remus must first learn to live with himself." Dumbledore looked pointedly at Snape, who was still staring determinedly at the floor.

"Severus, I need your word," he said again, quietly.

There was along pause as Snape raised his head. "I swear," he said quietly.

Dumbledore smiled. "Thank you," he said. "I realise that this pledge takes a great deal of maturity on your part and for that, I thank you. You may leave and there will be no punishment under the current circumstances." Snape rose, but then . . . "However, Severus, I think a lesson is to be learnt here, don't you?"

Snape nodded cryptically and left, but before he did, he threw James a filthy look over his shoulder.

James was left with Dumbledore. There was a long pause as though Dumbledore was sizing him up.

"So, James," he began. "Fifth time in my office this term, and we have not even begun the Quidditch season yet. This must be some kind of personal record."

James said nothing. For the first time, he felt slightly ashamed to have this record to his name. Sirius and he used to play a game to see how many times they could enter the Headmaster's office before term ended, but now that game seemed woefully childish.

Dumbledore continued as though he had not spoken. "You went down to the Willow tonight intending to save an enemy from a terrible fate, is that correct?" he asked.

James raised his eyebrows. "Well. Sort of."

Dumbledore nodded. "I thought as much. It is above any Gryffindor to let such things occur, as I am sure you already know."

James had a fleeting image of Sirius, but forced it to the back of his mind. Dumbledore seemed able to read his mind. "Ah, you are, I see, worried about the, er . . . shall we call it, 'tipper-offer'? Well, I see no need to worry. He will redeem himself very soon, I am sure . . ."

No sooner had he said this, Sirius burst through the office door. "PROFESSOR!" he said breathlessly as though tired from running. "It wasn't James who put Snape's life in danger! It was . . . it was me."

James looked almost quizzically at Sirius, yet he was grateful all the same. Sirius could never let James take the flack for anything he had done himself.

Dumbledore raised a hand to stop Sirius from his foreseeable ramblings. "Ah, Sirius, I expected a visit from you before long."

Sirius looked almost surprised at Dumbledore's infuriating calmness. "Wh - what do you mean? Sir?" he asked apprehensively.

"Believe me, my dear boy that when I say this I mean it in no offence to you whatsoever. I am well aware of the rivalry that has escalated between yourselves and Severus over the past few years," he said, now addressing James as well out of the corner of his eye. "But there is a great difference between yourselves and Severus Snape. Had Snape sent one of you into the lair of a werewolf, I do not believe he would have later gone and hauled back the person he so loathed. This does not make him a bad person, please do not misread my meaning, it simply means that the choices are different."

James and Sirius exchanged confused glances. Dumbledore saw this.

"My point, gentlemen, is that although you were undoubtedly acting for the best, you will still receive punishments. James, in saving the life of Severus Snape, I award you fifty house points. Sirius, I cannot award points for simply telling the truth, and I will be forced to take away twenty House Points."

Sirius lowered his head. "Good call," he muttered. Dumbledore ignored this.

"Please do not underestimate the severity of your actions, Mr Black. I am not rewarding bad behaviour. But what Mr Potter did was admirable and deserves recognition. It is for this that you may count yourself lucky. I trust that there will be no more ominous passing of information between enemies?"

"No, sir," Sirius answered quickly.

Dumbledore nodded. "Good. You may go, Sirius. I would just like a word with James."

Sirius looked to James, who winked in thanks, and left backwards through the office door. James sat in front of Dumbledore, who was surveying him closely over his half-moon glasses.

"James, I am aware, as I said, of the rivalry between you and Severus, and I -"

"Not exactly subtle is it," he said quietly.

" - And in light of this knowledge, I would just like to say thank you again for the maturity you have shown. It would have been very easy to overlook the situation."

James shook his head. "No it wouldn't, 'cos then Sirius would have . . ."

"Been in serious trouble, yes. However, he is very lucky in turn to have a friend who values him so highly. But James, I must impress upon you now a serious issue. You have saved the life of someone where there exists a harsh line of hatred. Be it totally against his will or principal, Severus is in your debt. Unwillingly I am sure, however, once something like this happens, a bond occurs. Be wary of it, James."

James lowered his appalled face; a bond with Snivellus? Taking Dumbledore's silence as a sign that he could leave, he got up, yet said after a second, "Sir, how did you know that it wasn't me who told Sniv . . . Severus?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Dear boy, I do not need an admirable cloak such as the one currently residing under your pillow to become invisible."

Much to James's surprise, there were two people still awake in the Common Room when he returned. One, he had expected, but the other, he had not. Sirius was sitting perched on the table, as far away from Lily as he could get. The two were obviously uncomfortable in each other's company. The sight of Lily's embarrassed face almost caused him to smile.

Sirius got up awkwardly. "Prongs, I just wanted to say, well. You were right. And, thanks."

James winked. "Well, no surprises there then, you dog. Don't worry about it."

Sirius laughed at the private joke a little to jovially, and Lily was silently alerted to this.

"Well, g'night Jim," said Sirius. "I'll leave you to er . . . yeah." And went up to bed.

He left James and Lily alone and, oddly enough, James actually wished he hadn't. He had no idea whether Lily would be incredibly mad as a result of how close she had come to being eaten by a vicious werewolf or whether she would be grateful for him saving her life. Her expression gave nothing away; her eyes sparkled in the firelight, her hair reflected so it appeared vibrantly red, her robes rippling in the slight wind coming through the open window. James caught himself staring and desperately tried to salvage the situation.

"So, up again? This is an unusual habit, Evans." He chided himself mentally for calling her Evans. It was a childish defence that he knew he would have to eventually discard, if anything was to come of this . . . this . . . obsession.

"Yes," she said. "I was waiting . . ."

"For what?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"For you." (His stomach contracted.) "But I was just about to leave. You do take your time, Potter."

James smiled desperately. "I know, I was talking to Dumbledore."

Lily looked faintly interested but not overly so. She did not want him to know she was. "Did he punish you?"

"Not me; Sirius. It was him who tipped Snape off," said James, knowing that Sirius would not care about this; on the contrary, he would probably love people knowing he had almost got Snape seriously injured.

"Oh," said Lily. "That's surprising. I thought it was you."

James changed the conversation, not liking her sarcastic tone. "So why were you waiting for me then, Evans? Finally want to confess our undying love for each other?" he said cockily.

A heat flared up inside of Lily. Part of it was anger at the suggestion, part of it was . . . she did not know what. "No, and if you carry on like that I won't even say what I was going to."

James corrected himself deliberately. "OK, I apologise for my uncontrollable urges. Please, do go on."

Lily frowned. "Thank you," she said and left abruptly, obviously irritated at his unintentional manner. James realised that this was probably the best chance he was going to get at talking to her without all of her friends swooning over him, so he took a bold step and put his hand on her arm. She stopped in mid step and a shiver ran down her spine.

"Wait a sec," he said quickly. "That's not all you wanted to say."

She looked at him, going for a look of sarcasm but failing miserably with the burning knowledge that he was right. "You think?" she said casually. This was not the tone she was banking of escaping her lips.

"I do think, yeah," said James even more casually, as though it were a battle of the tones. "I think you wanted to say more of how you were grateful that I saved your life, you were sorry that you misjudged me in thinking that I had tipped of Snivellus, and how impressed that you were that I managed to earn fifty points for your house. Unfortunately, I pissed you off too much for you to say all these things. Am I right?"

A long period of silence followed this. "On some accounts."

He tilted his head slightly.

"Yes, in the sense that I misjudged you, and I'm sorry if you were offended."

She said no more and made to leave again. James still had his hand on her arm. "And . . ."

"And nothing, Potter," she said with a tone of finality. She knew she could think clearly and react to him the same way she always had done; with a snide comment and a reminder of what he couldn't have, if he would just, for Merlin's Sake, take his hand of her arm.

"Nothing?" he said softly, wanting her to say something more he could go on.

She said nothing but looked away, up to her dormitory, wanting to sleep off the nightmarish events of the werewolf and the irritating feeling she was beginning to feel without wanting to.

"How many times do you want me to apologise?" she asked.

James frowned. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe just until you mean it?"

She sighed deeply. "It's difficult, you know. Apologising to someone you dislike so vehemently."

"You dislike me?" he asked with a trace of unhideable disappointment.

Lily shook her head. "I don't know . . . I don't want to like you."

James took his hand off her arm. She felt herself relax and knew she had tensed when he touched her skin. "Why?" he asked sincerely. "Scared of what could happen? Scared of something you've never experienced - "

"I don't want to be another one of your conquests, James," she said simply, forcing herself to look into his deep and searching hazel eyes. His emotions soared as she said his first name.

He almost felt hurt at her words and at the truth of them. "You wouldn't," he said softly and made a bold movement as to touch her cheek. She pulled away, only dimly aware of how close they had got.

Lily did not like this. She was not comfortable with the close proximity, with the elevating feelings she did not want to feel. She turned quickly and almost ran up to her dormitory.

"Goodnight," she said quickly, the door slamming abruptly.

James sank down in the chair, his heart pounding. He had been able to smell the shampoo she wore, saw the freckles on her cheeks. A week ago, if he had known he would have gotten that close to Lily Evans without a slap, he would have sacrificed a thousand house points. But now, as the moment had passed, he felt very empty and hollow, and wanting so much more.


	8. Unaware The Air Was Thick

Chapter Eight: _Unaware the Air was Thick_

Lily lay in bed the next morning, letting all of the crazy thoughts and feelings she had experienced the night before to simply buzz themselves silly in her head. Stupid, annoying, arrogant James Potter. Why was she suddenly feeling like this? She was sixteen for Merlin's sake. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, he had no right to do this to her. Lily was an avid student and always listened extraordinarily carefully to every word a teacher said, but now, as she lay in her bed with the full knowledge that she was missing Defence Against the Dark Arts, she found she didn't care very much. This was not like her, especially with OWLs coming up. She rolled over in her soft bed and went back to sleep as the castle woke up around her.

James sat in Defence Against the Dark Arts, not taking in a single word that Professor Raffling was saying about jinxes that would come up in the exam. He knew everyone there was to know after all. He too, was also miserable about the previous evening. As he had thought earlier, he knew he should be excited at how close they had got and how she had called him James. Were she any other girl, James would keep up the charm and most probably get what he wanted in a matter of days. However, as he thought about the way Lily had sincerely said, almost pleaded that she didn't want to be a 'conquest', he knew it would be different. He almost felt guilty about the way she had wanted to react. He didn't want to charm her with seduction. (Well. Not completely.) He wanted to know her, to be with her, to talk to her, to kiss her without being hexed into oblivion . . .

"Oi, Prongs, wake up!" nudged Sirius. He looked unnerved at his best friend's lack of interest in his favourite subject.

James jerked out of his trance and looked wearily at Sirius. "What?"

Lupin shook his head towards the angry Professor standing at the front of the class, hands on hips, looking very peeved at his student's lack of attention.

"Mr Potter?" he snapped. The rest of the class turned to look at James.

"Uh huh?" said James casually, not really feeling like a conversation at the moment with a teacher he did not get on with. Professor Raffling was a sanctimonious little weasel with a grudge against students who had superior talent to him. Students like James.

"Would you kindly remind me why it is OK for you, and you alone, to not pay an ounce of attention in my class during these very challenging upcoming weeks?"

James blinked and looked around at Lupin for some source of information of what Raffling had been previously talking about. Lupin's expression remained blank and worried.

"Well, not right now," James said lamely.

There was a smattering of soft laughter from the class. Professor Raffling snorted.

"Oh, I do apologise. Is this a bad time for you Mr Potter? Too early for Quidditch champions?" he said scathingly. "But of course, since you seem to know all of this very well already, why don't you come up to the front of the class and show them all how to do a perfect Impediment Jinx?"

James sighed and snatched his wand from across the table. He dragged his feet up to the front of the class and looked wearily at Raffling.

"Now, Potter, I want you to jinx this Dummy," (he conjured one, which twitched to show it's movement and how much damage had been caused, out of thin air,) "and show me that you have been paying attention." Raffling was clearly looking forward to an opportunity to embarrass James. Sirius, Peter and Lupin however, grinned. They knew James too well.

With a lazy flick of his wand, James muttered "Impedimenta", and the Dummy soared into the air and landed with a thud on it's back, all twitching ceased. The class applauded. The other Marauders were roaring with laughter.

Raffling looked faintly surprised. "How . . . you . . . that was . . . very well. Class dismissed."

On the whole, (or in Lupin's opinion,) the OWL's they were forced to endure for the next week went surprisingly well. Defence Against the Dark Arts went well for all of them; James in particular, who also excelled in Transfiguration more than the rest of them despite them being unregistered Animagi. The only subject Peter would have got high marks on was Herbology whereas Sirius and Lupin did reasonably well in every single subject.

"Well, just think, it could have gone a lot worse," said Lupin as they began to pack their things to leave for the summer. They were panting as they had just run down the corridor with Sirius, who was attempting to get out of the clutches of Arabella Figg, who had attempted to collar him into giving her a well-done kiss.

"Yeah, Peter's potion could have burned off Avery's entire arm and not just the fingers, I guess," said Sirius, smirking.

"Oh yeah?" said Peter, as Sirius touched a nerve. "Well, at least my cactus didn't bite off Marietta's nose!"

"Oh, I hear Madame Pomfrey has been able to fix it back on now," said Sirius still grinning, unfazed by the previous events. "Shame it wasn't Snape. His nose could certainly do with a slight reduction."

"What's up, Prongs?" asked Lupin, stuffing robes into a suitcase as Peter guffawed, for James was looking morose once more.

"I haven't spoken to her since," he said glumly. They all knew what he was talking about yet asked anyway out of politeness.

"Since what?"

"Since our . . . _'moment_!'" he said indignantly as though it was a disgrace if this subject was not constantly plaguing each and every one of his friend's minds as it was his.

"Well," said Sirius gently. "Why don't you go and talk to her now? Before the holidays?"

James contemplated it. "You know, Padfoot, that's a good idea." And he strode out of the dormitory, leaving the Marauders behind him grinning between themselves.

James shuffled along corridors, passing moving portraits as he went. There was not much movement about the castle; he presumed everyone was taking advantage of the free time and packing. He then realised he was going in the wrong direction for the girls' dormitories. He turned around, passing suits of armour, clunking happily away, not really looking where he was going. He was rather surprised when he saw Snape walking towards him, a similar glum look about him, however, his lank hair, which was continuously flopping, did accentuate the expression.

Snape stopped in his tracks and looked up and down the deserted corridor. James knew that he was checking for the sign of a teacher.

"All right, Snivelly?" he said in his most disdainful voice, determined to provoke a response despite his recent feelings of remorse against his oldest enemy.

Snape grimaced and went to pull his wand out of his pocket but James called out, and surprisingly, Snape stopped for a second.

"Oh, come on, Sniv," he said in a mocking voice of seriousness. "You know that you and I have a special bond now."

Snape threw him a filthy look. "The only bond I'd want with you is one where your head dangles from a string attached to my hand."

James drew in breath sharply. "Ouch, harsh words, Sniv, you'd have thought someone would be a little bit more grateful once someone else had saved . . . oh, say, their life?"

Snape hissed. "I don't have to be grateful just because old Dumbledore says so. You were saving your own skin as much as mine, Potter. You and Black would both have been expelled if I'd have . . ."

"Died, yes," said James casually. "But how would you have been able to prove it were us, if you were dead, for example?"

Snape shot him a disdainful look. "I'd have killed the werewolf, that's what I would have done."

He had struck a nerve. James narrowed his eyes and spoke in a low voice. "Sirius or me probably would have finished you off anyway, if you had."

A sneer curled the corner of Snape's tight and unpleasant lip. "Ah, yes. _Lupin_, the other best friend. The _half-breed_ ".

"Shut up!" hissed James furiously as though someone passing would realise what they were talking about. "You gave Dumbledore your word, Snivellus," he said even more spitefully than Snape. "YOU'LL be the one expelled if you're not careful. And however much you play up to it, you'd never disobey him."

Snape continued to sneer nastily, and it unnerved James. Snape now had a different kind of weapon, and knowledge could be a dangerous thing.

"As I said. I don't have to be grateful for anything, Potter."

James regained himself and forced a fake smile again. "Oh, I am SO relieved. Here was I, terrified that perhaps we might actually have to be civil to one another. How boring would that be, eh, Sniv?"

Snape moved forwards, wand still in hand, but instead brushed past James, hitting him roughly in the shoulder as he went, seemingly deciding against open conflict for once.

Lily had also thought that her OWL's had gone fairly well. If only she hadn't have missed that Defence Against the Dark Art's lesson that Friday, so close to the exams, she might have got _one _more mark. She had known the answer to that stupid question about the elemental laws of animal transformations. If only she had looked over her notes beforehand.

It was all Potter's fault. They hadn't spoken since, since the . . . thing. Lily hadn't even been sure of what the "thing" was, but she was glad that she hadn't spoken to James. No sooner had this thought left her mind, there was a knock at the dormitory door.

"Come in," she called whilst stuffing a long Muggle skirt into her suitcase, readying herself for home once more.

"Uh, hello?" came an unsure male voice which was trying to sound as mature as possible.

Lily spun around and came face to face with James, who was wearing an almost cheeky expression of someone who knew they should not really be there.

"What are _you _doing in here?" she hissed. "You shouldn't be in here!"

"You said come in!" breathed James in an indignant whisper, feeling as though he should keep his voice down, like Muggles did in that church thing.

"I didn't know it was you!" she said, following his lead and almost whispering.

"Why are we whispering?" he said in the same tone.

Lily grabbed his arm, shooed him outside and shut the door behind them. "Because you're not allowed to be in here," she said. "This is a _girl's _dormitory. And last I looked, you were not a girl."

There was a pause, as they stood on the stairs, quite alone and uncomfortable. Lily cursed herself for letting this situation happen again. Why was she alone with him?

"So, er . . . still talking to me then?" he asked stupidly.

Lily shrugged off the question. "What do you want?" she asked. It demanded an answer and James was not really sure he had one.

James grabbed wildly around in his mind for a subject that they both had in common. "So, how did your OWLs go?"

Lily looked at him sideways, a crease between her eyebrows. "Just fine, thank you."

James nodded stupidly. There was an uncomfortable pause.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Lily asked sharply. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"I just wanted to . . . um . . . clear the air." His heart began to pound. Why did he have to go red now? _Why_ did he have to turn into a living beetroot when he was trying to be the coolest, most good looking guy in the school?

"I wasn't aware the air was thick," she said flatly. She began to tap her foot quietly. It was nothing to do with impatience; she just wanted a distraction so she didn't have to focus on him. But why did she need a distraction? Why?

"Well, it was for me," he said truthfully. "And I know you know what I mean."

Lily tilted her head to the left and folded her arms. "I'm afraid I don't," she lied. "You're chattering rubbish, as usual."

"Look, Lily, I don't want to leave it like this, OK? I'm not going to apologise for what almost happened . . ."

She cut him off. "Nothing _almost _happened!"

" . . . For what _almost _happened, because I couldn't have helped it," he continued as though there had been no interruption. "And if I apologised, it would mean taking back the moment."

"There was _no _moment!" she continued, trying desperately to convince herself as much as him.

"What are you so afraid of?" he said bluntly, meaning every word he said. He wanted to know why. Why she couldn't be free with him and stop lying because he knew she was.

"We're not having this conversation again, and I'm not afraid of anything. There's nothing to be afraid of because nothing will happen."

James looked away, hurt. "Don't say that."

Lily signed and looked away also. "You're acting like we've broken up from a huge relationship, Potter! Nothing has ever happened between us, so stop being so melodramatic. I don't like you, you don't really like me. You just _think _you do, because I'm one of the only girls you haven't yet nailed in this school. Whether or not we shared a life-threatening situation and I thanked you for saving my life ... it doesn't change that."

James looked back into her green eyes, ignoring what she said.

"So, that night in the common room, you're trying to tell me that there was nothing happening between us?" he said almost resentfully, not wanting to know her answer, not wanting to hear that she didn't feel the same way.

Lily said nothing, still looking at him.

"What do you think this is?" he asked her. Lily snorted

"It's an argument! It's you reacting badly to my answer of _no _again! When are you going to accept that I just don't want to go out with you?"

"No," he argued. "It isn't an argument. It's chemistry. There is something between us, Lily, whether you want to admit it or not."

"No, there's not."

"Yes there is. And what happened last night only just opened your eyes up to it."

But even as she had her retort ready, she knew that her answer sounded weak. He was wearing her down, gradually. James could see it in her face, and was waiting for it to reach her brain.

Still she said nothing. James thought she was probably doing some really quick thinking, but could not get the solution out of her mouth. Lily's mind was racing, her heart was pounding, her mouth numb. She had to say something, anything, but would it be the truth?

"What do you want from me?" she said, an element of defeat in her tone. James was momentarily stumped. What _did _he want from her?

"I ... I don't know. I want you to stop lying to yourself."

There was a pause, "Give me time," she said slowly.

She actually saw James's hazel eyes light up. There was a fire behind them that she had only seen when he had been really passionate about something.

Give her time? Well, that had to mean something positive, didn't it? He was just going to ask her what she meant, although he thought he knew perfectly well what she meant, when the door opened behind them.

"What are you two shouting about?" said Marietta, who had come to see where Lily had gone.

Lily turned and shook her head.

"Oh, hi James!" said Marietta cheerfully, fluttering her eyelashes again. A week before, James would have entertained this attention but now, all he wanted was to talk to Lily.

"Hi," he said distractedly, a hand going tiredly to his messy hair.

"How did your exams go?" Marietta said, and then not really waiting for an answer, "Did you want to go to the last Hogsmead weekend today?"

James ignored her. "Um, Lily . . ."

She turned to his surprise.

"I'll, um . . . owl you." It sounded so stupid. What use were letters? What use were owls? They were right here, right now, surely they could sort this out. But a voice in the back of his head, namely Lupin's, who constantly reminded him of the little important things, said, "_Listen to what she said_.' 'Right,' he thought. 'Give her time.'

The Hogwarts Express grinded to a sooty halt at Kings Cross station, and through the window James could see his father waiting outside with a trolley, ready and waiting.

"Are you sure it's OK to stay?" said Sirius urgently to his best friend out of politeness, not meeting his eyes. He knew it would be; he had stayed at the Potter's countless times before. But there was always that invisible line; he was not family.

"Don't be ridiculous," said James, who had no notion of an invisible line. Sirius was, as far as he was concerned, his brother. "You ran away, you prat. You can hardly crawl back with your tail between your legs to that horrific Grimmauld Place, can you? Oh, ha! Get it? Your tail!"

They gathered their belongings and patted each other on the back. "See ya, Wormtail, oh, Moony, give us an owl about full moon, OK?" James added mysteriously.

Lupin and Peter said their goodbyes and disappeared through the barrier, Peter with a short, mousy haired woman chewing on her fingernails who could only have been his mother, and Lupin with a tall man with a lined, yet kind face, known as his older brother Romulus to James and the others.

"All right, you two? What is it with those nicknames? They make no sense at all . . ." said James's father as he took their trunks and piled them onto the trolley.

"They make perfect sense," muttered James with a grin to his best friend.

Sirius smiled feebly and looked up at the older man. "Mr Potter, are you _sure _you don't mind? It's the whole of summer . . ."

James's father waved an impatient hand. "Oh, don't be foolish boy, you're as welcome as James is. You can hardly go back to . . . well." Mr Potter always refrained of bad mouthing Sirius's family although it was plain he did not agree with what they believed in; only Pureblood wizards were the type who had the right to life.

"Yes, of course it's OK. My wife will be delighted someone else will eat her cooking," he looked sternly at James. "Unlike some. And yes I mean you."

Sirius beamed.

Just as they left through the barrier to the Muggle world once more, he saw her. Lily was greeting her Muggle parents, who looked slightly nervous at being surrounded by wizards, with a hug. She seemed overjoyed to see her parents, clutching her mother's arm. When she drew back, she looked over. His heart soared as her eyes met his, and for one amazing second, he thought she smiled at him. It was a true smile, not a fake or forced one, and as he left the station, his mind was already on the first letter he would send her.


	9. Clarity

CHAPTER 9..:::::.. Make it Clear.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot. *Damns disclaimer to hell and wreaks total damination upon it. *  
  
*A/N: Hey you guys. I want to give you all a huge hug. When I was posting chapter 7, I had about fifty reviews. Now as I post this chapter, I have about double that! Thanks! Guess my Compulsive Updating Syndrome is paying off.  
  
Slick: Thanks for your review, and don't worry, the Marauder's ain't going anywhere darin'! I wouldn't do that to you guys! Well, I mean, we all know that one of them has to go eventually . . . but that's ages away yet. Lol.  
  
Fashiondiva: Lol, glad you're not having it. I know, my author's notes can be a bit confusing. Perhaps I should use capitals next time . . . Lol.  
  
Coolcatjenny: Lol, oh, the requests the requests. Well, I'll see what I can do!  
  
Templa Otmena: Thank you. I like to try. Lol. As you can see, this is a chapter on the summer, but not as detailed as I'm sure many would like! I love doing James and Snape confrontations; they're so much fun to write. Glad you appreciate it! Concerning, "Lest we Forget," that's on hold for a few weeks! Sorry! But don't worry; I will religiously update this one. As for your theory on Sirius, yes, I do think that! There have got 2 be more ways 4 Harry to communicate with him than a broken mirror . . .  
  
Dark-elf: Lol, I love your name. Sorry if Peter doesn't sound evil yet, but he wasn't really at that point! Don't worry though, I'm doing up until death, so you will see a change in Peter.  
  
Lily Adams: wow thanks, yes enough exclamation marks! Don't worry, I post quite fast. Glad you love it!  
  
Dardestiny: thanks, they will soon enough . . . Lol  
  
Ilovehp: Don't worry! I will!!!  
  
PennyP: thanks, lol; I know I mix them up! It's a habit I'm trying to break. Daisy: thanks, I was trying to come up with a really good line for Lily, and settled on this one! All the others were lame. Lol.  
  
Eclip0099: Yeah, I wanted to make the message clear!!! Glad it was.  
  
Sarah/oboe grrl: Yeah, sorry, I hadn't realised it was only one L until like the third chapter! Sorry!  
  
Enzin: thanks; it was my favourite part too! And as for Snape, I know! I never thought I'd feel sorry for him. But he should wash his pants.  
  
ALL4SIRIUS: Lol. Lot's of people have said the message was clear. Well, it worked eh???  
  
George is Hot: Thanks for the review, and also finally telling me who George is!!!  
  
Wing Goddess: Oops, my mistake! Thanks for pointing that out, but who cares. It's creative anyhow!!!  
  
Inkling: Thanks; I also like to think there is a fine line between taunting and hurting!  
  
Surge: Thanks, the joke wasn't intentional actually! Once I had written it I realised what I had said, and James's reaction to it is actually more my reaction to my own joke!!!  
  
Radiogrrl: thanks, but my other fics haven't done half as well as this!!  
  
A/N: PHEW! Well. That's over with. Now on with the saga!! By the way, as I still have no friggin' clue how to use italics, the letter sequence will be introduced with this: {{ and end with this }} ok???  
  
*HITS PLAY*  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
It was morning, and Lily savoured the feeling of her own bed as she rolled over, enjoying its softness and familiarity. Her sister Petunia had just given her loudest snore yet, and it had woken Lily up. Petunia made out she had quality in a great deal of things; but sleeping quietly was not one of them.  
  
She had dreamt that night about someone she had not wanted to; James oh-the- annoying Potter. She had had an odd dream that they were married for some reason, and as she replayed the events of the dream over in her head, she kept reminding herself that she shouldn't even be thinking about him. If she wanted these feelings to go away, then that was what she would have to do. 'Ah,' said a little voice inside the back of her head. 'Do you really want them to go away?' Lily groaned and pulled the covers over her head, Petunia not letting up in the slightest with her snores.  
  
@@@  
  
James and Sirius were up early, not taking advantage of lie-ins. Mrs Potter had made a big thing of muttering very loudly "typical boys," as they had clattered down the stairs, broomsticks in hand without breakfast.  
  
They knew they weren't really in for a relaxing summer; the teachers had given them more homework than either of them combined would have ever done in their lives, so they got to it straight away in the evenings, keeping Quidditch to during the days and narrowly avoiding chores Mrs Potter kept trying to label them with. Sirius helped out as much as he could; he almost felt guilty about imposing on this happy home life, but knew deep down that really, the Potters treated him like an extra son, as James had no siblings.  
  
*  
  
A few weeks into the holiday, James had a nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach. He missed Lily. He missed predicting her sarky reactions to him and the way she made it obvious, without knowing she did, that there was something between them. James had said he'd owl her. Did that mean that she expected him to? When? How soon was too soon? What if he left it too late?  
  
Rubbing a hand over his face as he lay in bed that night, he realised he would have to do something about this feeling. He sat up and brushed his messy black hair out of his eyes. He groped around in the darkness for his glasses, (he couldn't do much without them,) and slipped past the quietly sleeping Sirius, who looked gracefully peaceful in the bed at the opposite end of the room. Every now and then, a breath that escaped his mouth would make the hair on the pillow flutter. He looked totally different with the absence of the awful snoring.  
  
James carefully sat down at his desk, and lit a candle, which thankfully did not flicker too much to wake Sirius, yet provided enough light for him to see well enough to write his first letter to Lily. He picked up his eagle feather quill, dipped it in the stained pot of ink he had on stand-by for Emergency Midnight Homework Operations. Brow furrowed, he racked his brains for something to write and crinkled his nose. "Dear Lily," seemed like a good starting point.  
  
*  
  
After about half an hour since the idea of writing the letter had come to James, Sirius sat bolt upright, muttering something about "unhappy Hippogrifs". He opened his eyes blearily and saw James sitting at his desk, James whirled around, startled by the movement.  
  
"Padfoot! What was that all about?"  
  
"I . . . oh . . . nothing," he managed between yawns. Then, "What, in the name of my arse are you doing at this time of night?" he asked groggily.  
  
James looked embarrassed. "Promise you won't laugh?" he asked.  
  
"No," said Sirius truthfully.  
  
"I'm . . . I'm trying to write a letter to Lily."  
  
Sirius, from whom James had expected a bark of laughter that would have broken the stillness of the night, threw his legs out of bed and came to stand behind his best friend's back. "Whatcha got so far?" he asked.  
  
"Dear Lily."  
  
"Ah, well, that's no good, Prongs. I mean, she already knows she's dear, doesn't she?"  
  
"I can't think what to say."  
  
Sirius sat down in the empty chair. "Well, why don't you tell me everything you want to say to her, not like I'm her, cos' that might get creepy, but just tell me how you feel about her."  
  
James sighed, and poured out his heart to his best friend.  
  
*  
  
Three weeks into the holiday, Lily was feeling very pleased with herself. She had not had any more dreams about James Potter and was finally thinking that she could possibly quell the feelings that he had stirred up inside her. In fact, the only dreams she had had were ones similar to the ones she had back at Hogwarts months ago. It was the "de ja' vous" dream, where she was in a room with someone, someone safe, until they left and everything went horribly wrong. It wasn't even a nightmare. She just didn't understand it.  
  
As she went down to breakfast one morning and sat eating her cereal and apple juice at the table, there was a tapping at the window. Her owl, Binky, was sitting on the windowsill with a letter clutched tight in her beak.  
  
"Ah, look at that, Lily dear! How sweet!" cooed her mother, delighted at the magical intervals, which frequently presented themselves with a witch in the family. Petunia, however, was not so impressed.  
  
"If any of my friends see that thing here," she said, looking out of the window as though one of them nay be coming up the road that very second, "You're to say that you're looking after him for your uncle, OK?"  
  
"No," answered Lily.  
  
"No? No? Did you just say no to me?" spat Petunia disbelievingly.  
  
"Yes, I believe I did. You're older, not more important. Now go away while I read my letter."  
  
Petunia threw her a filthy look and rose from the table indignantly, looking to her mother.  
  
"Mother, are you going to let her speak to me like that?" she said in a high-pitched voice.  
  
Mrs Evans sighed. "Oh, for goodness sake, girls, can we have one day where you don't bicker?"  
  
Petunia glared at everyone she deemed responsible, including Lily's father who was sitting quite quietly in an armchair by the window reading the newspaper, and stalked out of the room.  
  
Lily ripped open the letter, and saw the handwriting and skipped to the very end. It was from James. Realising she did not want to read this in front of her parents, she scampered up to her room, locking the door behind her.  
  
***  
  
{{ Dear Lily,  
  
To be completely honest with you, I seriously debated whether or not to write this letter. This is mainly because I have no idea what to say. I have no idea how you will react to what I do say; for example, you could either agree religiously with everything, (as I hope) or send me a smoking howler, (I will cower under my bed.) The thing is, we did everything exactly the opposite to how I wanted to do it. (By the way, it's great writing a letter, because there is no possible way you can interrupt me, as I know you are doing out loud now.) We left things stupidly. I'll owl you? Do you have any idea how stupid I felt saying that? Well, here it is. The owl. And, as usual, I am going to ask you something. Will you go out with me? I know you said you needed time, but help me out here. I don't speak "woman language." Please, will you at least consider this? I know you don't want to admit it to anyone, perhaps even yourself, but I know there is something between us. Why can't we act on it? Eagerly awaiting your owl, (again with the stupidness.)  
  
All my love, James. }}  
  
***  
  
Lily sat back in her chair, exasperated. How could anyone be so immature? How was it even humanly possible? 'Will you go out with me?' How old were they for Merlin's sake? You didn't just 'go out with someone' when they asked you when you reached the age of sixteen. Things were different then. Maybe a few years ago, it would have been acceptable. But Lily felt like a woman now, a woman who was sick and tired of silly little boys who couldn't face saying the most terrified word of all: 'Relationship.'  
  
A moment later, and Lily caught herself. Was she actually considering this letter? Was she actually putting energy into thinking about what he meant? Of course, it was perfectly clear what he meant, but Lily wanted to make a few things clear herself. Pulling back her drawer and taking out a similar feathered eagle quill, she began to scribble back.  
  
***  
  
James sat at the breakfast table the next morning very quietly, forgetting he had put a slice of toast in his mouth. It was beginning to go soggy until Mrs Potter spoke.  
  
"James dear, don't do that. It's unhygienic."  
  
James spat out the toast.  
  
"What is the matter with you lately?" she asked, surveying him over glasses very much like his own. "You've been moping around for weeks! I don't suppose you could tell me, could you Sirius?" she added, looking cheekily at Sirius who was munching happily away.  
  
Sirius laughed. "I could, but he'd hex me."  
  
"Not in this house he wouldn't," she said sternly, and went to join her husband in the living room.  
  
Sirius abandoned his grin and looked concernedly to his friend. "Seriously, Prongs, what's up now? You sent the letter!"  
  
"Only because you helped me," said James glumly. "I wouldn't have known what to say if you hadn't been there."  
  
Sirius chuckled. "Well, you've sent it now, so what are you moping around with a face like a smacked arse for?"  
  
James looked up. "What if she replies all offended and everything?"  
  
"How could she be offended? You didn't say anything bad!"  
  
"Oh no, I only asked her out for the sixty-seventh time," he stopped for a second, thinking. "Asking someone out? How third-year is that?"  
  
Sirius looked quietly sympathetic. "Prongs, have you been keeping count? That's sad."  
  
"I was only speaking hypothetically," said James hurriedly, but Sirius had a strong feeling that James was lying. "What if it's worse? What if she doesn't reply at all?"  
  
"She will!"  
  
"What if she knows you helped me? Why would she want to go out with someone who can't speak for himself?"  
  
"OK, Prongs, you need to shut up now. You're making me nervous and I didn't even do anything!  
  
Perhaps James would have shut up and sat quietly, if Lily's owl had not tapped on the window two seconds later. It held a neatly packaged letter in its graceful beak and ruffled it's auburn feathers irritably until they noticed him.  
  
***  
{{ Dear James, ("Dear? That's a start mate!")  
  
I have to say I was saddened by the content of your letter. (Sirius fell silent and busied himself with cereal.) But you'll be pleased to know that this is not a smoking howler, so you can emerge from your bedclothes. However, I am NOT agreeing to everything you say. First of all, do you realise this is the sixty-seventh time you have 'asked me out?' ("Yes," said James sulkily.) Realise the emphasis I put on the words 'ask me out'. It's a very immature thing to ask, to be honest. ("That's what I just said!") I am not a little girl anymore, and 'going out with someone' is simply just a title for boys so that they can call someone else their girlfriend. However, I do not believe I would be your girlfriend, by the way, you're right, you cannot interrupt me, because undoubtedly, you will charm me until I eventually break down and then you will get what you want and discard me like an unwanted Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrapper. Because that's how you have viewed most girls, is it not? Also, as you so subtly put it, giving me time, is in no way confoundable "woman-language". I think it's fairly clear.  
  
With half-hearted love, Lily. }}  
  
***  
  
James had gone up to his room upon reading the letter, and Sirius had left him well alone, however, an hour passed and Sirius could not let his best friend stew in self-pity for much longer.  
  
"Prongs," he said softly, knocking on the door. James was sitting at his desk, scribbling furiously, a frown framing his good-looking face. "Can I help with the letter?"  
  
James looked around. "No, it's OK, mate. I've decided to stop wallowing in crap and take matters into my own hands. I've nearly finished it now anyway."  
  
Sirius smiled at his friend's bravado, but as he shut the door, he had a sense of foreboding about exactly what James's idea of taking matters into his own hands would involve.  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
*A/N: Oh I love writing this fiction so much! It's so much fun! Thank you again and again for the reviews, keep 'em coming. My updating syndrome is over-powering me, so I'll get writing right away! Review review review review review review review review review review review review. There. It seemed to work last time!!!!  
  
Rosie x x x 


	10. No Comparison

CHAPTER 10..:::::.. You Could Never Compare

            **DISCLAIMER**: NOTHING IS WHAT I OWN. (Except the plot. *Swears unprintably at disclaimer for being so repetitive*.

*A/N: HI! Over a hundred reviews! Wow, so exciting. HUGE thanks 2 all of you guys, and Lily Adams for being my one-hundredth reviewer. Sorry this chapter took a little longer *ducks flying tomatoes*, but my hand is currently bandaged so I can't type as fast, *also damns all appaloosa horses to hell for being so darn able to crush bones*.

**Slick:** Thanks for the review, and yes, I could say review more. Lol. I know; you can't expect anything else from guys, can you? Thanks for the tips on italics; I'll try them out!

**Fashiondiva**: Aha, yes, I'm dropping hints, but no cigar as of yet. Lol. You'll just have to stick with it!!

**Babygal**: aww, thank you so much! Flattery gets you people everywhere!

**Templa Otmena**: Sorry it was a shorter chapter; I wanted to break down the summer bits so it wasn't all crammed into one huge chapter!

**Lily Adams**: Ah well, obviously, you are still here because you are stunned by the story! Lol. 100th REVIEWER! Yay!

**Padfoot79:** Aha. You shall know soon enough . . . *grins manically*.

**Szhismine**: Well, now you can stop wondering can't you!

**George is Hot**: Lol. Yes I thought reviews were your greatest talent!

**Wing Goddess**: Lol that's Ok, *pats wing goddess on the shoulder* Glad you're an avid reader now. They're always the best! *Rosie sees the flag and applaudes wing goddess's loyalty*. Lol.

**Them Girl**: Lol, don't be too impatient! I won't keep you that long ; ) *laughs sadistically*.

**Inkling:** Thanks, nit picking is always welcome too. I didn't know if I spelt it right or not. I'm no good at French! (Or Latin or whatever it is.) *Blushes and shows how ignorant she is*. I plucked the number 67 out of nowhere, and after realised that perhaps it does make him sound slightly obsessive! Oh well.

**Laurie**: Glad it's how you imagined it. Thanks and keep reviewing!

**MeLissa:** Lol, sorry, there's an email address on my update list that has one letter different to yours! Sorry, I must of mispelt it, aha, but gained a new reviewer! Thanks!

**Gefaalt**: Yes, I'm very impressed with your English! I can speak a little German, but it's not half as good as your English! Please keep reading!

**Miabubble:** Thanks for the review, and I get what you mean, but the reason I deliberately showed the very end of the Snape incident (or snippet of the chapter) was so people picked up my fiction from exactly that point; JKR had it in the midst of the OWLs, but in mine, there is no mention of the OWL's until after the DADA lesson, where the teacher points it out to them. As for Arabella Figg, yeah, I know, you're right! I really like her name though, and thought it might work. Lol. I don't deserve credit for the name Romulus, because there was a rumour that Lupin's brother would show up in book 6; called that. I thought it was clever because Romulus and Remus where twins in legendary tales brought up by wolves.

*HITS PLAY*

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

            _{{ Dear Lily,_

_            I am sorry to hear my last letter dismayed you. Truthfully, Sirius helped me write it, which is probably why it was so bad. You will be glad to hear, or to read, that this is totally and completely me. I am now going to confess to something totally stupid that will probably make me sound a right loser. You can show all of this to your friends, I don't care. OK. Here I go . . . I am besotted with you. And if giving you time is what it takes for you to be besotted back with me, then that's what will have to happen. _

_            Just help me out here, will you? Give me something to go on, something that will make me stop worrying. Show me somehow that I am not completely wasting my time here._

_            As for asking you out, (that was Sirius's idea by the way,) I'm not going to do that anymore. It's obvious that that is not what you want, (and also I have failed sixty seven times) but also, you are right. It is childish. I'm going to be seventeen before the summer is over, and I agree that it is time for me to deflate my head a little, (as you so kindly informed me that summer's day by the lake.) Just so you know, deflating one's head is a rather painful process._

_            Please reply Lily, all my love, James. }}_

***

            James was a great deal happier around the house after he had sent the letter, which, as he had put it, "would put the cat among the house-elves" and put the  "snitch in her pitch." 

He and Sirius had celebrated his newfound happiness by playing Quidditch in the Potter's well-kept and leafy garden, which was nice, but not very big. The way that James and Sirius played Quidditch deeply alarmed Mrs Potter. 

            "Boys! What have I told you about going too high?"

            "That we'll be seen!" shouted James from above, currently hanging onto the end of Sirius's broom, determined to haul him off. 

            "EXACTLY!" bellowed Mrs Potter over Sirius's roaring laugh at James's almost succeeded efforts. 

            Her tone made James let go of Sirius's broom and land in front of his weary-looking mother. "Come on, Mum, it's summer! We don't go *that* high."

            "Yes you do, young man. You'll be calling yourselves adults soon. How do you think it will look if you break a Ministry decree in front of Muggles and get suspended from Hogwarts in your last year? Or worse! Expelled!" 

            James muttered something and leapt back onto his broom with ease, taking a snitch out of his pocket.

            "What was that?" she snapped.

            "Nothing, mummy dearest, nothing."

            "I'm not even going to ask you, James, where you got that thing," she said, signalling to the snitch clutched tightly in his fist.

            "Nope, it's probably best if you don't," he answered and began the familiar trick of letting the snitch fly away a little and seizing it again, except this time, he was in the air. Mrs Potter hid her admiration for her son's reflexes and stormed back into the house to make dinner. 

***

            Lily read and re-read the second letter she had received from James at least three times. She could not believe how different it sounded in her head. It was almost, well . . . mature. The fact that he had admitted that the letter was partly due to Sirius Black explained a lot. That boy seriously needed a maturity check in her opinion. "I am besotted with you." Lily couldn't decide whether she saw this as decidedly sweet, or vomit-worthy. Was that him, or Sirius? 'If I can't tell who this is, I shouldn't really be bothering at all to read this,' she thought to herself. 

            Perhaps she should give him a chance. He sounded so desperate in the letter. But was that really a good thing? Lily had never, in her life, felt ready for a relationship. She would probably still think the same thing by the time she turned thirty, and would insist that maybe, when she was a year older, she would feel differently. She was almost seventeen . . . was that too young? Or maybe it was too old and she should get a move on. All of her friends had had relationships . . .well. No, that was a lie; they had "gone-out" with people, James Potter most of all, which, as Lily had always thought, was a childish thing to refer to hormones as. But she had hormones too, didn't she? Should she not give herself a chance to experience a . . . relationship?

            Lily could not believe she was even contemplating this impossible situation in her head. And with James Potter? He of all people was most probably the one person it was not wise to start a connection with. He had had almost every girl in the dormitory. Except her. And it was going to stay that way . . . but then she thought of the sincerity that had plagued his face when she had told him she would "not be one of his conquests." "You wouldn't," he had replied. Was that really true? Or did he say that to all of the girls in a mind to get them all into his bedroom? As she continued to think about this, her mind drifted towards the latter. She attempted to work out her feelings for him in her head before putting it down on paper and sat down at her desk, re-reading the letter once more. 

            A loud knock at her door brought her to her senses and jerked her out of thought.

            "Come in," said Lily, thinking it would be her mother telling her it was about time to do her 'before dinner chores'.

            "Oh, all right then, if you insist," came Petunia's scathing voice from out on the landing.

            Lily turned. "I wouldn't have said come in if I'd known it was you," she snapped.

            "Now, Lillian, is that any way to talk to your older sister?"

            Lily closed her eyes for a second to stop herself from reaching under her pillow and grabbing her wand to hex her stupid sister right in the face. The use of her full name had clearly struck a nerve. Petunia was clearly enjoying Lily's short, hair-matching temper, and grinned.

            Lily opened her almond eyes. "What do you want?"

            "Mum sent me up to your room. Dinner's ready."

            "Fine." Lily turned away back to her letter, thinking her mother would not mind if she were two minutes late. But Petunia had not moved. "Are you still here?" Lily snapped, annoyed at the intrusion. She hated it when people came into her room, even her parents. It was where she kept her whole magic life; wand, trunk, books, everything concerned with the wizard world. Petunia's invasion was very demeaning for her. 

            "What are you doing?" said Petunia quietly, and rather unexpectedly. 

            Lily turned. "What's it to you? If I said, "magic," you'd only turn and scamper."

            Petunia sneered, however it wasn't quite as pronounced as her usual expression; the mention of Lily's abnormality rebuffed her audacity slightly. "I'm just making sure, you know, as the mature figure, that you're not doing anything you shouldn't be."

            Lily snorted. "The mature figure? Give me a break, Tune."

            Petunia blanched. She _hated_ it when Lily called her 'Tune'. It was a stupid name anyway. "So are you coming?" she snapped.

            Lily got up, huffily. "For Merlin's Sake! Do you not understand plain English? Go . . . away!"

            "Who's Merlin?" said Petunia, a faint amusement in her thin voice.

            Lily smiled. "He was a "wizard," Tune," she said, enjoying Petunia's wince at a mention of her world.

            "A wizard? Another freak like you then?" snapped Petunia. 

            Lily scowled. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you usually round that dumb rhinoceros, Vinron's for tea on Sundays?"  

            "It's _Vernon_ for your information. And yes, I am. But I decided not to go today," she said through clenched teeth. 

            "Aww," said Lily in mock concern. "Had a lil tiff, had we?" 

            "What about you?" Petunia snapped. "You haven't had any interest in you for ages, have you? I don't suppose even the freaks in your world would touch you with a barge pole."

            "For your information, I – "

            But Lily was cut off by her mother's voice from downstairs. "Girls! Will you stop bickering and come down for your dinner?"

            Whilst exchanging filthy looks, both left Lily's room for their dinner. Lily left first, not wanting to look at her stupid, oh-so-Muggle-like sister on the way out. This was a mistake however, as Petunia was able to glance back to Lily's desk, and see two letters sat there. A crude smile traced her lips as a wicked thought entered her mind.  

***

            Dinner was a subdued event that evening; Mr Evans tried to make conversation but it was plain that neither of his daughters would engage willingly in it. Eventually they gave up, and all sat in silence. There was a stir, however, when Petunia rose from the table before anyone else. 

            "Where are you going, dear?" asked Mrs Evans. 

            "Oh, I . . . um, I need to get started on some maths homework. You know how much trouble I have in that subject, mummy, I could be stuck on it all holiday if I don't get a move on!"

            "Would you like some help, darling?" asked her father. 

            "Oh no, no!" said Petunia a little too quickly, making Lily frown. "I'm sure I'll manage."

            "I don't get to help any of you now," said Mr Evans, slightly dismayed. "I mean, Petunia's so clever, and I would be useless when it comes to magic, eh, Lils?" 

            Lily smiled, and so did Petunia fakely as she disappeared upstairs.

@@@

            The door to Lily's room was slightly ajar. Night had fallen since dinner and the orange glow of the street lamp cast sinister shadows across the pale faded carpet. Petunia hesitated slightly in the doorway, but overcame all fear when she saw the letters lying open on her sister's desk. Excitement flooded through her as the notion of finally paying her sister back for being such a little favourite dawned on her. 

            She sat down at the desk after making totally sure that there was no one coming up the stairs and turned on Lily's little lamp, making sure it was dimmed sufficiently so as not to attract attention. The words of the two letters James had sent filled Petunia's mind_. "Will you go out with me?" "I am besotted with you," "Give me something to go on," "all my love, James . . ."_

            Petunia almost had to stop herself from laughing out loud and cupped a hand over her mouth. She glanced at the eagle feather quill next to the bottle of ink, and thought better of it. She reached into her pocket and drew out a fine ballpoint pen, before reaching for some parchment.

            "Tune, am I?" she muttered to herself whilst writing. "Vinron, is it? I'll show you, you little freak . . ."

            ***

            It was nearly midnight until finally the letter arrived at James's window. Lily's owl was looking fairly disgruntled as it tapped on his window, waking both him and Sirius up. Neither of them knew, of course, that it was unsettled because an unknown stranger had not known how to tie letters properly to it's leg or how to send it off on a job correctly.

            "Was . . . wassup . . .?" James moaned as he rolled over. 

            "I . . . Oi, Prongs! It's Lily's owl!" Sirius muttered, not as groggily as his friend. 

            At this, James sat up bolt upright in his bed and rushed to the window. Lily's owl took off as soon as he had it, obviously not wanting to be used again by some random amateur. He unfolded the letter and lit a candle.

            "What's it say?" nudged Sirius, but James's mouth had gone dry. He dropped the letter after reading it, and sank to his bed. Sirius picked it up.

            _{{ To James._

_            Stop contacting me. I do not like you and I never have done. In fact, I hate you. You are a pathetic loser who I wish were dead. Stop wanting what you can't have. I have a boyfriend already and he's a thousand times the man you are. You could never compare._

_            Lillian. }}_

            Sirius did not put the letter aside straight away. After reading it, he looked curiously at the way it was signed. 'Lillian.'

            "Prongs," he said after a second. "There's something up with this."

            James did not look up but spoke to the floor. "Yeah, there is." There was a long pause and then, "I have to see her."

            "What? When?"

            "Now."

            "Now? Are you crazy? It's half midnight! You don't even know where she lives!" Sirius said, trying not to wake the other Potters'.

            James fumbled in his trunk for something. After a few seconds, he brought out a piece of brown-looking parchment. 

            "Remember this?" he said, holding it up. "Remus gave it to us as a joint present right after we'd finished the Marauder's Map. Works similarly but instead shows you how to get anywhere in England you want."

            Sirius shook his head. "Prongs, this is insane, you know that?"

            "Letters aren't working, Sirius. I need to talk to her. Talk some sense into her. Shout at her if I have to. Now."

            "James," said Sirius seriously. "You cannot force her to fall in love with you. That's not how it works," said Sirius, surprising even himself. He was known for being a charmer, a user, and here he was, giving philosophical lessons concerning love.

            "There is something between Lily and me. She's scared of something. I need to talk to her, face to face, give her the chance to say what she really means."

            "I'd say this is fairly self-explanatory!"

            "I'm going now. Please don't follow me, Sirius."

            And with that, James reached under his bed and pulled out his broomstick along with his Invisibility Cloak. He perched himself on the windowsill and with a fluttering sound, resembling that of a snitch, was gone.

            Sirius took his best friend at his word and did not follow. Well, not immediately anyway. Instead, he sat down on James's bed and re-read the mysterious letter. "Lillian," 'when does she ever call herself that?' thought Sirius, 'even to people she doesn't like? Like me.' His eyes followed down the rest. "I have a boyfriend," 'she doesn't have a boyfriend. Marietta told me. Lily would never say something a harsh as "I wish you were dead" either.' Finally, the most obvious feature of the letter dawned on him. It was written in a Muggle-type pen. Lily had not written this letter.

            With a sickening dread that already James had done something stupid, he fetched his own broom and raced out after him. 

            ***

            The night air whipped and chilled James's face so as it soon became red and wind-swept. His hair was blowing in every possible direction and before long, his hands had frozen to his broom. He was only wearing a cloak over his vest top and shorts, so before long, he felt like ice. His quick exit had made him forget his glasses and now, he could only see blurry shapes. 'But that was OK', he thought. 'It's dark anyway; how much would I really have been able to see?'

            A mixture of anger and sadness was writhing around inside him. What if Lily really meant what she had said? What if he couldn't convince her? Would that mean that this . . . thing was really . . . over? 

            He reached into his pocket for the map that Lupin had given him. He saw an orange dot labelled "Lily Evans Residence" and tried to stuff it back into his pocket after he was sure of where he was going, but for some reason, he could not get it back into his pocket. The zip on it was stuck due to a mixture of the movement and the cold. James fumbled about, focusing all attention now on storing the map safely and on Lily's letter. 'Why had she suddenly reacted like that? Was it the previous letter? Who was this other bloke? How dare he?'

Perhaps if he had been wearing his glasses, he would have seen the huge oak tree looming up in front of him a few seconds before, but this was really of little consequence. James looked up in the last second and saw a huge shape in front of him. There was no time for the feeling of sick dread to sink it, and due to his seeker reflexes, he pulled up sharply, but it was too late. He had already collided with the oak tree at full pelt. James felt his face hit hard bark, connecting with bone and his broom smashing into nothing beneath him. Sliding down the immense bulk of the tree, he came to rest with a loud crash at the foot of it, rolling only a few metres from the impact. Seeing stars, only dimly aware of how numb his whole body felt, he was able to lift his head a few centimetres and blink blood out of his eyes before everything went horribly black.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

*A/N: Muhahahahahah!!!!!!! Cliffhanger!! Sorry you guys, but I've been thinking about how to do that for ages! Please don't flame me! *Grins apologetically*. Don't you dare stop reviewing. This is longer than the others after all! Hope the next chapter will be quicker than the last one; I'm taking this bandage off whether I'm supposed to or not. Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review.

Sorry. I felt like doing that.

Rosie x x x 


	11. Would I Lie To You?

**CHAPTER 11..:::::..**

         **DISCLAIMER**: You should know the drill by now. *Still despises disclaimer with a passion*.

**A/N:** Hand out of bandages now! (Still hurting horribly but still. I love you guys so much!) So here I am updating as quick as is humanely possible. HUGE thanks to **Slick O' Brooklyn **for helping me with the italics, bold, e.c.t. You're my hero girl. 

**Fashiondiva: ***Begs fashion diva to cease the spastic movements as tests prove they are unhealthy*. But you see, I presumed cliffhangers would make my loyal reviewers review more!!! Lol. Don't worry. He is not dead. That would suck. And indeed, Sirius's cleverness surprised even me!

**Miabubble:** Muahahahaha *cringes at her pathetic evil laugh* well, no the tree wasn't in her garden, but still. It adds to the drama!

**Templa Otmena: **Thanks, I took the bandage off. It's still gangrenous mind, but hey. I don't let that get in the way of my typing!

**Them Girl:** *Rosie advises ThemGirl to continue to take deep breaths*. Lol. That's fine you can get as involved as you want! 

**Lily Adams:** He didn't realise because he was so hurt! Sirius was the one thinking rashly, as he was not in love, *winks evilly and says 'not yet anyway'*.

**Ilovehp:** Ah yes. The joys of cliffhangers. Lol. Sorry.

**Inkling:** Lol no, I decided against amnesia; it would get too complicated! Hope you like this one.

**GoddessMoonlady:** Thanks for the long review. Lol, don't worry, everything's under control.

**KewlKat:** Hi, thanks for the review. Don't worry I post quite fast.

**Kari:** Calm it Kermit! Here you go!

**Cheeky Girl:** Ah, I don't know. It was dark. Lol.

**LauraLou:** Erm . . . lol. Sorry about that. Let's just uh, be imaginative here and say that in the land of Rosie, Owls take place in 6th year. Lol.

**Laurie:** I've tried to get James across as being hard on the outside to everyone he wants to project a good image too; but when it comes to Lily, the screen falls away and he sometimes gets over-reactive or even emotional. I think "stalker-ish" is a slightly harsh word as all he wanted to do was talk to her.

**MeLissa: **Lol, I know. Thinking about it now, Petty would have been a better nickname don't you think! 

**Avonlea Black:** Hi, *Rosie begs Avonlea to not stop eating as thin reviewers do not review as much* Lol, yes I know that's a lie. But don't starve yourself; I update pretty fast!

**Babygal:** Lol, it's OK, people say that sometimes one works better under pressure . . .

_*HITS PLAY*_

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

Sirius had his hands clasped firmly around the handle of his broom and was well on his way before he realised that he had no idea of where he was actually going. He didn't know where Lily Evans lived. Why would he? OK, it was true that he knew the residence of pretty much every girl in his dormitory, but Lily, having the _class_ that she did, had been seemingly clever at the time and to not disclose it. How Sirius wished that he had once had a fling with her now. He could be there in a few minutes and stop James from making a big fat stupid mistake and yelling at the girl of his dreams.

He veered his broom around and for a split second thought of the map that Lupin had given James and him for a joint present – but James had taken it with him. He looked around helplessly outside James's bedroom window. _Think, Sirius, think. _His eyes rested on James's owl, currently asleep on it's perch in the dingy shadows of the corner of the room. An idea struck him. 

         He leaned in through the window and called softly to it. "Hey, Ermintrude," he whispered. The grey fluffy owl raised its head slowly and surveyed him sternly through sharp and clear yellow eyes. He felt very stupid talking to an owl. But they had to understand, didn't they? They went wherever you told them to go when it came to letters.

         "Listen, uh, you don't remember delivering a letter to Lily, do you?" he asked, knowing it wouldn't answer, but hoping for some form of recognition.

         The owl lowered its head slowly and sat still for a second. When it did not move, Sirius growled in annoyance in a very dog-like fashion. But no sooner had he done this, the owl stretched its fluffy grey wingspan and swept towards the windowsill on which he was hovering outside. 

         "Er, can you show me where her house is?" Sirius asked, feeling at last that the creature understood him. The owl hooted in an almost indignant fashion and swept soundlessly out of the window. Sirius followed it quickly, brushing a strand of elegant black hair out of his eyes and having a hard time keeping up. 

**@@@**

         Lily had stayed up very late to watch television that night. She really enjoyed watching programs; she was deprived of this Muggle indulgence in the magical world. Of course it was OK for the pureblood children brought up by wizards who did not have televisions at their leisure to watch and were therefore not introduced to the unhealthy obsession that TV can bring, but she could not help the fact that she had when she was younger. 

         After bidding her parents goodnight, she tramped doggedly upstairs. Petunia's door was closed; Lily could hear her awful snoring from inside and made a mental note to herself to shut the door so she would not be disturbed by the abominable noise her elder sister produced. Lily's mind was not on her sister however as she walked along the landing to her room. She had almost made up her mind concerning James's previous letter. She was not going to lead him on. If she did that, she would most probably be leading herself on as well, and that could not happen. A nagging voice in the back of her head, which she knew belonged to James, said, _"Scared of what could happen? Scared of something you've never even experienced?"_ In all truthness, _ yes_, Lily was scared. She had never allowed herself to experience those kind of feelings for someone knowing that if she did, she would only get hurt. What did it matter if James was the first person that had made her tremble as he had done that night in the Common room? Really, what did it matter? He was just a boy, for Merlin's sake. And an arrogant egotistical boy at that. No. She would be quite polite, so as not to offend him, but decline the suggestion of a _relationship._ It was too much. 

         As Lily reached her room, the very first thing she noticed was that her door was more ajar than it had been when she had left it previously. _Petunia was up here,_ she thought to herself, _but that was maths homework_. Lily knew how gullible a thought this was, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that Petunia would actually step inside a witch's bedroom alone. She pushed the notion of intrusion to the back of her mind as she saw that both her letters were lying innocently on the desk as they had done before, knowing full well that if Petunia had been in here, she would not have been able to resist the temptation to read them. But they were undisturbed. Settling herself in the chair behind her desk, she picked up her quill and began to write. 

*******

         Perhaps it was that the hour was so late, or perhaps it was even the stress of not knowing how to put what she wanted to say down and on paper, but a combination of the two had caused Lily to fall asleep at her desk, head lightly resting on the parchment. Her red hair fluttered over the desk as she inhaled and exhaled, and she began to dream . . .

         _She was back in that room again, in that house, but the scene she had become so familiar with in the past few months was speeding up before her eyes, everything was happening at double speed this time. There was the feeling of dread as the safe person left the room, a pause and then a new person entered, but now, new things were happening. The feeling of dread intensified and she heard a harsh, cold laughter but could not see the face properly of whom the noise belonged to. Someone was crying, she had to help them. But it was too late, no one would save her . . . no one _could _save her . . .  _

Lily jerked awake. At first she could not see why she had awoken and put it down to yet another monstrous snore from her sister, but as she saw what had really caused her to wake up, she almost fell backwards off her chair with surprise. 

         Sirius Black was hovering outside her window, signalling that she should open a window and let him in. Lily opened her mouth a few times in complete surprise, resembling a goldfish out of water, blinking furiously as though the image would soon go away if she could only wake up properly. But as soon as she had done this a couple of times, she realised that Sirius was in fact still outside her window, still flapping his arms, if not more vigorously so. 

Lily inhaled sharply and dashed to her landing to make sure her parents were asleep and then bolted her door. She went gingerly to the window, still marvelling at Sirius's white windswept face, and opened the window. He clattered noisily in.

"About bloody time, woman!" he said.

"Will you shut up! You'll wake up my entire family!" she said in a hushed, annoyed whisper. "What on earth are you doing here? You could have been seen! How did you know where - "

But Sirius was looking around the room. "Where's James?" he asked suspiciously, as though it were possible that Lily was hiding him under her bed.

"Where's . . . who? Sorry?" 

"James! Potter!" 

Lily blinked again. "Have you been drinking?" she said, surveying him sternly through a curtain of red hair. Sirius could see for a second why James was so helplessly in love with her; her anger only made her green eyes dazzle more, her hair appear more vibrantly red.

"Not since this morning," said Sirius. 

"What do you mean, "where's James?" Why would James be here? And again! Why are _you _here?" she said.

"Well, after that letter," he held a hand up to silence her, as though he knew her answer already. "Yes, I know you didn't send it, but it was a bit of a dumb joke, if that's what it was supposed to be, because he was really upset and flew over here to – "

"He _flew_ over here?"

" – Over here to sort a few things out."

"But it's nearly one-thirty in the morning for Merlin's Sake!" Lily said in a raised voice, forgetting her family for a second, and then lowering her voice as a grunt came from her parent's room. "Look, Black, I don't know how you and your friend have gotten all mixed up here, but you have somehow. I haven't sent any letters since a few days ago. In fact, I was just about to reply to that one he sent the other day – " 

"Oh, I know you didn't send that letter," said Sirius, matter-of-factly.

"_What letter?_" Lily hissed in an exasperated tone.

"The one that told James he could never compare with your boyfriend," (Lily squinted in defiance) "and that you wished he was dead. Now, me, being the intelligent one of the group I hasten to add, realised that you could never send such a harsh letter to such a wonderful person. But James was so upset that he didn't really look at it properly. That's why he came over," he finished triumphantly, looking at Lily as though the situation should all make perfect sense now that he had explained it all so lucidly. 

"So _why_ are _you_ here?"

"Well I came to stop James from making a stupid mistake by blaming you."

"But he's not here!"

"Ah, yes. I realise that now."

Lily opened her mouth yet again to speak, but shut it again. Finally, she said, "This still doesn't make sense. The letter wasn't from me! I don't even have a boyfriend!"

Sirius looked exasperated. "I . . . know . . . it . . . wasn't . . . you," he said slowly, as though Lily were stupid. "Now, if you ask me, which I know you're not, I'd say it was a Muggle." 

Lily was about to shake her head at Sirius and tell him to get off his high Hippogriff and get out of her bedroom when the clogs in her brain slowly began to tick. She looked slowly up at Sirius, but not really seeing him at all.

"Do you have the letter with you?" she asked. 

Sirius pulled the crumpled letter out of his pocket and handed it to her. Lily began to read, and as she did so, her expression slowly darkened. Sirius actually took a step back from her. One word escaped her lips.

_"Petunia."_

"Bless you."

Lily paused and looked at him. "No, this is Petunia's writing. She must have been in here tonight."

"Who's Petunia?" he asked.

"My sister."

"You have a sister?" 

Lily frowned. "I have a dead sister," she said, moving towards the door.

Sirius began to chuckle. "Petunia? Who'd call their kid after a flower?" he asked, as the laugh steadily grew stronger. 

Lily stopped at the door and looked scathingly back at him.

"Oh, right. Yeah, sorry, Evans."

She opened the door and made for Petunia's bedroom.

"Didn't you say that your parents are here? Don't wake them up! Oi! Evans, what are you doing?" 

Before Lily left her room, she reached into her trunk and pulled out her wand. Petunia's door had been closed, most probably to further drown out her snores, but Lily pushed it open and looked down at the ugly form of her elder sister. Petunia stirred as Lily's shadow fell over her and sat bolt upright.

"Who's . . . I'm not . . . what are you doing in here, Lillian?" she said sleepily, obviously just awaking from a dream. Her gaze fell to the wand held in Lily's hand and she froze. "Don't point that . . . that _thing _at me!" she hissed quietly. "I'll tell mum and dad!"

"No, you won't," said Lily more quietly. She had absolutely no intention of actually using the wand on her sister. That would be breaking the Restriction of Underage Sorcery outside of school and under the age of consent. Lily could not wait for another few months when she would be 'of age' and therefore allowed to use magic whenever she saw fit. Petunia, on the other hand, was not aware of this rule. "Get up," she added, and Petunia slowly swung her legs out of bed, still eyeing the wand with a cold and beady eye.

Lily frog-marched her into her bedroom and shut and bolted the door behind them once more. 

Petunia gasped at the sight of Sirius in the bedroom. "What . . . who's he?" she hissed at her sister.

"Never you mind."

Sirius however, looked faintly amused and held out his hand. "Hello, flower," he said sweetly. Petunia jumped backwards.

"Don't talk to her," said Lily firmly.

"Secretly sneaking boys into your bedroom at night, Lillian? I'm going to have to tell mum about this, you know," said Petunia in a very unconvincing voice. 

"I think it's _you _who's got some explaining to do, Tune," said Lily.

"And as a matter of fact, you've just underlined one of the key-features in said investigation," said Sirius professionally. "_Lillian._ Could you tell me, Petunia, is it? Who calls Lily 'Lillian' apart from you?"

Petunia looked shocked at being addressed this way. She did not answer. Instead, she adopted her scathing personality to avoid questions. "I don't have to speak to freaks like you!" she spat. "I expect you're a . . . you're a . . . a _wizard _are you?"

"Indeed I am, my dear."

"I thought so. You can tell the type a mile off."

"Petunia, shut up," said Lily. 

"What on earth are you doing at this time of night?" asked Petunia.

"Well, as a matter-of-fact, I was asleep until Sirius here, informed me of something which, surprisingly enough, involves you."

Petunia blinked. "M – me?"

Lily held out the letter. "Recognise this?"

Petunia's expression changed dramatically. Her skin went the colour of sour milk, and she wore an unmistakable expression of someone who has been caught in the act. "N – no," she stuttered.

"Oh, come of it, Tune," snapped Lily. "I know your writing. Maths homework last night, was it?"

Petunia's audacity snapped. "And if it wasn't? What if I decided to get back my annoying, freak of a sister whose life is devoted to making mine a misery?"

Lily took a few breaths. "Petunia, you make your own life a misery because you refuse to accept what I am. You refuse to see that being a witch or wizard is not being a freak, but being unique. It's your blindness to this that makes your life so un-needlessly difficult!"

"Oh, spare me the speech, Lillian. So I sent the letter. So what?"

"So what? I'll tell you what, someone I care about has been hurt!"

There was silence. Sirius shifted his foot a little. "You care about him?"

"Oh, shut up, you," said Lily to Sirius, mentally kicking herself for what she had just said out loud. "Your actions, Petunia, nearly caused someone to make a total fool of themselves and it's only because Sirius here that . . ."

She broke off. "What?" said Sirius.

"He – he didn't come here. He never showed up. You say he left before you did?"

Sirius nodded, the realization dawning on him. 

"Then where is he?"

"I – I don't know."

*******

         James regained consciousness gingerly. He was still seeing stars; all objects around him were outlined with a strange kind of white line for some reason. He knew he couldn't really move, even if he'd wanted to, his broom was currently lying in pieces, littering the foot of the great oak tree. _Fantastic idea, James, smashing headlong into a tree. That was a really seeker-like idea, you arse. _He found he was able to move his right arm somewhat, and grappled in his robes for his wand. Hoping, praying that Sirius had not taken the whole _don't follow me _thing seriously, his fingertips grasped the handle of the wand, and he dragged it back to his eye line. It was still intact. That was something, at least; it didn't matter if _he_ wasn't all intact, just as long as his wand was.

         He held it up to the black night sky and muttered the first incantation that came into his head. He forced himself to think of he and Lily getting married, happy and together, and said feebly, "E – Expecto Patronum!" It was too much, and he blacked out.

*******

         Sirius turned quickly and reached for his broom. He was already pushing the window open before Lily spoke.

         "What are you doing now?" she asked.

         "What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to look for him!" he said indignantly.

         "Oh, come on. Potter can look after himself. He probably had the brains to stop on the way and turn around again; unlike some people," Lily added nastily. Sirius chose to ignore the sarcasm.

         "I would have seen him or smashed right into him. And anyway, you didn't see him. He was so upset. He's not himself when he's upset. I mean – well. You saw him with Snape." 

         "Oh what, so he turns into a humiliating, bullying toerag when he's mad? Is that what you're trying to say? Because you're no better, Black . . ." 

         "Look, Evans, surprisingly enough, I know James better than you do. He wasn't thinking straight."

         "Well why did he get so upset? It was only a letter, for Merlin's Sake!"

         "My point exactly," piped up Petunia.

         "_SHUT UP_," snapped Lily and Sirius simultaneously. "Look, all this is your fault anyway," added Lily to Petunia.

         "Right. Well, I'm off. Nice seeing you in your pyjamas, Evans," said Sirius in a brisk fashion and was about to fly out of the window. 

         "And how exactly do you expect to find him yourself?" she said wearily, as though she had no choice. 

         Sirius stopped and looked back out of the open window. "What are you suggesting, Evans?" he asked with a wry smile.

         Lily sighed, annoyed that he was making her say it. "I suppose I'll _have _to come with you, won't I?"

         Sirius smirked. "Right. Well, come on then."

         "I'm not going like this!" she said in surprise, signalling to a frilly nightdress she was wearing and suddenly feeling embarrassed. She hadn't thought about it once all the madness had started, but now, she hated standing in front of Sirius Black, joker, and prankster, like this. "Give me a second."

         Petunia followed her into the en-suit bathroom, hissing at her like an angry goose. "You are not seriously considering what I think you are, are you?

"Don't tell me what to do," said Lily through gritted teeth as she changed her clothes and hurried back into the bedroom. Lily reached under her bed and grabbed her own broom, (a Shooting Star,) whilst Petunia looked at it in horror.

"You can't go out on that . . . that _thing_!" she said. 

Lily ignored her, and put her foot on the windowsill. Sirius looked highly amused.

Petunia made one last final stab at being the mature figure. "Lillian, you are NOT to go out that window! I shall tell mum and dad and they will be _so _angry that you will NEVER go back to that school again! You'll be grounded!"

Lily stopped and looked maliciously back at her sister. "This is what you're going to do. If mum and dad wake up and see that I've gone, you are to tell them exactly what you have done and why I am going. You are not to lie so you do not get in trouble, or twist the truth. If you do, I'll turn you into a bullfrog. The same applies if I ever find you in my room again." Lily's tone was final and slightly dangerous. Despite the fact that she was the younger sister, her tone unnerved Petunia. Sirius marvelled at the heat she seemed to radiate when angry.

At this, Sirius muttered quietly under his breath, "Wow. You know, you and James are made for each other." 

Petunia swelled with repressed anger, knowing that she was helpless to do anything else. She could not lie; Lily would turn her into a bullfrog. Petunia did not know, of course that Lily was allowed to do nothing of the thought, (Lily had cleverly kept this information from her sister.) 

Without so much as one more scathing look, Lily and Sirius swept out of the window.

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()__**

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

***A/N:** There you are. Less of a cliffhanger, *moans that the suspense is lost*.  Just incase I get loads of flames about this, I am NOT setting up a Lily/Sirius romance here! It's just the rocky path to the friendship they eventually develop! Let me know what you think by reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing reviewing. 

 Rosie x x x 


	12. Still Here

**CHAPTER 12..:::::..** **Still Here?__**

            **DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing. *Attempts to rip disclaimer apart but then realised in dismay that it has no physical form*.

**A/N:** SORRY SORRY! It's been the bloody site; it's been down or something. Here you all go now! Can I just say I love you all! Reviews are so inspiring, and I've never had this many before, so thanks. Hmm. This little story is getting somewhat interesting isn't it? I know some of you found the whole James smashing into a tree quite funny, but it wasn't meant to be! *Admits it was dumb*.

**Coolcatjenny:** Lol, no I just didn't want people to think that I'd ruin the wonderful Lilly/James thing. Glad you weren't fooled!

**Szhismine:** Glad you're reviewing reviewing reviewing. I think the message is sinking in. Lol.

**Wing Goddess:** I did wonder . . . Lol. Don't worry. Yeah, I was trying to kind of show that Sirius can be mature if his life depends on it, but not unless he really has to.

**Chris-black:** Why thank you. How . . . inspiring. 

**Inkling:** I hope your question about the Patronus is answered here! I also think Harry should have lived with Lupin. But hey, can't change the past can we. *Sobs and protests Sirius's name should have been cleared from the start. Damns Pettigrew to Kindergarten-filled hell*.

**LauraLou:** Wow, when I said review, I mean, wow! That took up 3k! Anyway, thanks! I've just realised that too! That does involve a lot of thinking about. Hmm. Perhaps JK is unravelling the mystery of the Potter's death bit by bit, but then again, maybe she did just make a mistake. Well spotted! I suppose it could have been that Voldie didn't kill James first of all, he just knocked him out or something, and then went upstairs intending to kill just Harry because of that friggin prophecy, not really intending to kill Lily, because he says _stand aside _and later to Harry that she was foolish and _needn't have died._ Maybe then when he had killed her, James came up and he just killed him for fun. Hmm. I'll have to take that into account when I write the ending. *Sobs uncontrollably that James has to die eventually and wonders how long she can string it out*.

**Skinsnap:** Hi, thanks for all the praise! Don't worry. Here's the update.

**Lily Pad:** Hi, thanks for the review. I post fast don't worry. By the way, your name is wicked.

**Marauder girl:** Erm, yeeeees, I think I get it. Lol.

**Brooklyn Raider:** Lol, hi, I know. I'm still in mourning and haven't touched the OotP since I finished it!

**Anonymous Laura:** Wow, I have a lot of Laura's reviewing! Don't get me wrong; it's a wicked name. I updated yesterday! I can't type any faster! 

**Fashiondiva:** *Rosie believes that FashionDiva is already past her expert medical help and begs her to continue with the medication*. Ah, I am not fooled by your leprechaun gold my slippery friend - it will only disappear! Bribes are only of use if it involves chocolate of some kind. Lol. Keep reviewing. Xx

**Templa Otmena:** Aww thank you! Yeah, I'm trying to build their relationship up 'cos JK always makes out that Sirius was eventually equally fond of both them. I can't write without a little bit of a cliffhanger! Sorry!

**Vega Black: **Thanks, she's trying to not admit it!

**Miabubble: ***Rosie begs miabubble not to curse her*. I'm a writin, I'm a writin! Yeah, I know Lily's over 16, but I don't think she gets pregnant yet! Lol.

**Moon*wolf:** Hi, thanks for the review. I'm guessing by your name you're a Remus fan? Gd Gd.

**Lelegurl19: **Thanks for the review; hey James is really hurt! It's not supposed to be funny!!! Lol.

_*HITS PLAY*_

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

By the feeble moonlight, Lily could only just see Sirius's broom ahead. She knew that what she was doing was probably the most stupid thing that she had ever done in her entire life, but she did feel a certain amount of responsibility. If she had locked her room, Petunia would have never gotten in there and sent that stupid letter. _Wait a minute, _she thought. _It was James Potter's own stupid fault for thinking it was real and flying all the way over here in the first place! _But the nagging sensation that she really did care what had happened to him was eating away at her. It was unhealthy in two ways; first of all, she had told herself not to indulge these childish feelings and that she should distance herself from it all. Second of all, she should have put more clothes on and she was bound to catch a cold in this unusually freezing late August night. _Oh, this is really what I need, _she continued to think as they sped along in the air without speaking. _To be seen flying a broomstick across England and get expelled a week before I go back to school in my final year of education._ Lily cursed Petunia for getting her so mixed up in this. 

Earlier, Sirius had taken out a very small mirror and held it up to the light. "James Potter!" he had said very clearly into it.

"What are you doing?" Lily had asked.

"This is a two way mirror. James and I use them when we're in separate detentions." Lily had not had the time to glare disapprovingly at him when he had said, "But he's not answering so either he's dropped it or he can't . . . can't get to it."

Lily fell silent at this and had followed on behind him in silence.

"Hey, Black," she called out after about half an hour of flying. "Do you have any idea where he's gone?"

"Nope," replied Sirius calmly, although secretly, he was beginning to worry. 

"Well that's a brilliant start, isn't it? I thought you were supposed to be the intelligent one!" she said in annoyance.

"Ha, I only said that because I thought it would make you listen to me. Moony's the clever one."

Lily frowned. "Moony? Who's Moony?"

Sirius tutted under his breath for being so careless. "Oh, no one. It's just a nickname."

"It's Remus Lupin, isn't it?" she asked.

"So what if it is?" said Sirius defensively. 

"Oh, no reason. Just a funny nickname."

Sirius shook his black hair out of his face, and swerved suddenly in mid-air, looking sharply down at something. Lily almost collided into him and had to swerve to the left instead. 

"What on earth are you doing now? If this is all some kind of huge prank, Sirius Black, you're going to wish you were never – "

But Sirius was pointing at something shimmering at just about their eye line about half a mile away. "Look, do you see that?" he said excitedly.

"See what?"

"Over there! To your right!"

Lily looked towards what Sirius was frantically pointing at. Sure enough, there was a faint silver glimmer of light, shimmering above a treetop. Sirius flew closer.

"Now, Evans, what does that look like to you?"

Lily frowned. "Well, I'm not sure, it looks like a . . . a stag, I think."

"Exactly. It's James," he said triumphantly.

"What do you mean "_it's James_?" James isn't a stag!"

"Yes he – I mean, no, it's his Patronus!"

Lily looked faintly impressed. "Potter can produce a Patronus?"

"Yes."

"Why is it a stag?"

"Do you ever stop asking questions, woman?"

"A corporeal one?"

Sirius waved a hand impatiently. "Yes, yes, we all can."

"You _all_ can – "

"Come on, let's fly closer. He must be around here somewhere."

Lily followed suit but was still talking in an un-maskably interested tone about the Patronus. "But _how _can you all do it? It's very advanced magic! You only learnt things like that until you're in the Ministry of Magic! And what do you mean, you can _all _do it? Who's all of you?"

Sirius answered her wearily, as though this was not really a big deal and she was overreacting. "Me, James, Lupin and Pettigrew. There. You happy now? Only don't tell anyone; we're not really supposed to know how to do it. They'd only ask us how." 

"Well, so they should! I mean you shouldn't – "

"Lily, do you want to shut up and start helping me here? I mean, that's what you came for, right? Because you _care _about him?"

Lily scowled at him. "You know perfectly well I only said that to make my sister feel bad."

"Right," said Sirius unconvincingly. "So why'd you come then?"

Lily changed the subject. "Are we going to look for him or not?" 

Sirius smirked and flew down to the ground, slinging his broom over his shoulder as his feet hit the earth. "You fly well. For a girl."

Lily whacked him over the head with the end of her broom.

Sirius cried out. "Ouch! How do you expect me to find him with a concussion?"

"You know what, Black, I'm past caring. This is some stupid wild goose chase that I should never have been persuaded to come on."

"Uh, excuse me? I didn't _persuade_ you," he said as Lily began to turn away. "You persuaded yourself because you won't admit you're madly in love with my best friend." 

"Don't be so ridiculous!"

"Don't lie to me, Evans. You're so predictable."

"Oh, you know something, it's no wonder you and Potter are best friends; you're hopelessly alike in self-centred, superiorly arrogant personalities."

"Now that's not fair, Evans."

"Yes, it is. You are both so – " but Sirius never did find out what both he and James really were as she cut herself off. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to the foot of a great oak.

"It's the tree that the Patronus was over," Sirius answered. 

"Exactly. And there's something at the foot of it that looks very _James-shaped_."

*******

            "Well, I just don't know how to thank you two," sobbed Mrs Potter as she clutched the shoulders of Sirius and Lily in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies. "If there's _anything _either of you need, money or – "

            "Don't be silly, Mrs Potter," said Sirius, patting her weakly on the arm.

            "That boy is SO grounded," she shrieked emotionally. "What _was _he thinking? Going out at that time of night. I just don't understand – "

            "Let's give the lad a chance to wake up first, shall we, Maureen?" said Mr Potter gingerly, obviously not at ease with his distraught wife. However, these were probably not the best words of comfort, because at the reminder of her son's condition, Mrs Potter burst into a freshly new wave of tears and had to be led out.

            Mr Potter looked back over his shoulder at Sirius and Lily and said, "Best take her home for a bit, let her calm down."

            They nodded, and then turned around to see two very anxious boys hurtling down the hospital corridor, both wearing flashing and luminously yellow _Visitor _labels. 

            "Padfoot, what happened?" asked Lupin breathlessly. 

            "Got an owl," panted Peter, clutching a stitch in his side. "Said – said James . . . tree . . . hospital."

            Sirius looked at Lily and sunk down into the nearest chair, taking a bite out of a huge chocolate frog he had somehow acquired. "You explain."

*******

            "I might have thought that it had something to do with Lily," said Lupin, a wry grin appearing on his face ten minutes later as they stood around outside.

            "It wasn't my fault!" she said defensively. "I can't watch my elder sister all the time you know!"

            "No, I mean that James is always acting stupid around you."

            Lily frowned. "That," she said, "is for definite." 

            "You know why though, don't you Evans," said Sirius thickly through a mouthful of chocolate. Peter snickered like a wheezy horse.

            "Yes thank you, Black, I know perfectly well why."

            Peter was eyeing Sirius's chocolate with a hungry eye. "Padfoot, can I have some of that?" 

            Lily threw up her hands, exasperated. "Padfoot? Oh come on, isn't anyone going to tell me what all these nicknames are about?"

            "No," they all said in unison.

            An aged Healer emerged from James's room, chart in hand, looking distinctively ruffled. He looked towards the crowd, who were looking expectantly back at him. 

            "What's up, doc?" asked Sirius.

            "I am no ridiculous Muggle doctor," said the Healer in a husky impertinent voice. "I am a trained Healer."

            Sirius looked faintly bored. "OK, what's up . . . Healer?"

            The Healer looked sternly down at him, a frown framing his crooked face, the white wispy hair floating around his balding head. "Are you family of James Potter?"

            Sirius looked around at all of them. "Yes," he said finally. "We are his uncles. And this here," he said pointing to Lily, "is his wife." 

            Lily opened her mouth in frustration and began to say, "His – " but Lupin stood on her foot. 

            The Healer looked suspiciously down at all of them, and for a moment they thought he would shout at them and tell them to get out, but he didn't. Instead he signalled to the door. "You may go in now."

            He left via a left exit, and Lupin turned to Lily. "Coming?"

            "No," said Lily, making a stab at appearing uninterested. 

"Sure you don't want to see your great love?" said Sirius, smirking.

"He is NOT my great love."

"What ever you say, Evans," said Peter.

"I don't need him as well to say it's all my fault," she said, and she stormed off to the tearoom.

            Sirius muttered something about _women _and followed the others in.

**@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@     **

James tried to sit up when the three remaining Marauders ambled in, smiles framing their mischievous faces. The pain in his ribs was still to much for him to sit up properly; the Healer had mended all the bones straight away, but in some cases, they hurt for a long time afterwards. A purple bruise was rising under his right eye where the cheekbone had been smashed and he looked very disgruntled. 

            "The prat lives on," said Lupin.

            "James! You're OK!" shouted Peter, smacking him on the back.

            "OUCH!" said James loudly.

            "Be careful, Wormtail!" hissed Sirius.

            "Thank Merlin," said James. "I thought you were my accursed mother again."

            "It's a nasty disease, is concern," said Sirius sarcastically. 

            Peter seemed to be holding something in; he was chewing his fingernails and looking quizzically at James. "So, Prongs, can we get one thing straight?"

            James looked at him. "Probably not perfectly straight, but a little wonky will do. What?"

            "Did you . . . did you really . . . fly into a tree?" and with that, he burst into mousy fits of laugher, puffing through yellow crooked teeth. 

            The others tried to keep a straight face; James lying palely in a hospital was no laughing matter, but the fact of how he had gotten there was.

            "Yes, yes, all right, go on, laugh the lot of you," he said sourly. And they did; anyone who came in that moment would have thought someone had cast a Cheering Charmon the whole lot of them.

            Lupin regained himself. "Sorry, Prongs, we're not laughing at you, it's just . . . it's not very like _you_, is it? Flying into a tree?"

            They all burst out laughing once more at the reminder. James waited patiently for the fits to subside. "I left my glasses at home."

            They did not subside. In actual fact, they intensified. 

            "OK, look, can someone tell me what happened after I sent up my stag please?" he said crossly.

            "What, do you have amnesia?" said Peter in mock concern.

            "No, you prat, he was still out cold," said Sirius, but these words did nothing to stop the laughter. When a few minutes had passed, they had recovered enough for Sirius to tell James that he had gone to Lily's house to stop him from making a mistake and then realised he was not there. 

            "Was she confused?" asked James.

            "Yes."

            "Was she mad?" 

            "Terribly."

            "Oh dear."

            Sirius then said how he had set out on his broomstick to find James and then seen his Patronus shimmering above the oak tree.

            "It took us ages to get you onto my broom," said Sirius, remembering how they had thought about tying him onto the back with a conjured rope, but then thought better of the magic restriction.

            "Wait a minute, what do you mean, _we_?"

            "Me and Evans of course."

            "What, she came with you?" asked James in total surprise.

            "Oh yeah, sorry did I leave that detail out?" said Sirius, amused.

            "You . . . she . . . she came with you? To look for me? Why . . . why would she do that?" he said, frantically gesticulating in the air with his hands. 

            "Why don't you ask her yourself?" asked Lupin.

            "What do you mean? She's . . . she's _here_? Now? She's here _now_?"

            "Yes, she's here now."

            "Well, actually, Moony, she's probably gone. She got all huffy when we said James was her great love. She's probably gone home in a mood," said Pettigrew. 

            "Can't blame her really, Prongs," said Sirius. "She was so angry with her sister. I've never seen a girl like that. Mean, it was. Meaner than mean. I think we should all make a mental note to never piss her off. Agreed?"

            "Did she turn her into a bullfrog?" asked James expectantly.

            Sirius looked surprised. "Not that I saw, but she said she would. How d'you know?" 

            "Ah, she threatened me with that line about six times last year."

            "Well, she certainly was mad."

            James looked dispirited. "So she's gone? Like, not here anymore?"

            "Yep, looks like it."

            "Fancy a game of Exploding Snap?" said Peter, and took a packet of cards out of his pocket. 

            The game continued for about half an hour until the angry looking Healer came in looking disgruntled and shouted at them all.

            "This is a hospital! We have very sick people in here! I should have thought that as his uncles, you would have shown a bit of responsibility."

            James looked dimly puzzled. "My uncles?"

            "Uh, yes!" said Sirius very hurriedly. "You're quite right, Mr, um – Mr Healer. As his uncles, we shall, er . . . set a better example."

            James looked as though he was going to snort with laughter until Lupin gave him a warning look.

            The Healer looked equally puzzled. "Yes, well, I think you've had quite long enough now. This young man needs rest. He has had a very unhealthy collision if you didn't already know!"

            The muffled laughter followed the Marauders out of the now dingy room filled with darkness, which deeply saddened James.

**_# # # # # # # _**

Lily sat in the pale green painted tearoom alone. She felt very lonely and isolated here despite the fact that she had been here for nearly 14 hours. She should really go home and face the music with her parents; although she was fairly sure that Petunia would not lie to her parents in fear of a bullfrog incident. The cup of tea in front of her was going cold, but she didn't seem to notice. Looking around, she saw a few people sitting alone, obviously visiting long-term residents residing in the wards, but there were not many now that it was evening. Lily did not know what was keeping her here; she had done her part, she felt like she had redeemed herself for the letter in helping Sirius even though it had not been her fault in the first place. James was all right, wasn't he? So what was she still doing here?

            Lily rose from the table, pushing her third cup of tea aside and stepping down the hallway. Mr and Mrs Potter had gone home so Mr Potter could calm his wife, and it was now three hours since the Marauders had gone into James's room. They would be long gone now. So, _what was she still doing here_? Lily wandered down to the bathroom that was clearly signposted at the main desk. It was a small room; there were only two cubicles and the floor was tiled pale blue. She looked in the mirror at her reflection. Her eyes were weary and were sporting fantastic bags under them; she had not slept so this wasn't surprising. Although her hair could have done with a good going through with a hard brush, it had not lost any of it's vibrant colour, as some red hair does when it is messy, **(A/N:**_Believe me._**)**

            Upon leaving the bathroom, she passed the corridor in which she knew James's room resided. She was wavering; what did it matter if she saw him now? What did it matter to her if he felt lonely? It would do nothing but inflate his already fat head. He would only think that she liked him more if she went, and that could _not_ happen. But Lily felt herself, unwillingly so, stepping down the corridor. Perhaps he would be asleep and then she could say that she had tried.

            She stopped outside his door, and put her fingers on the handle. A voice behind her made her stop in her tracks. "What are you doing?" said the gruff-looking Healer.

            "Oh, I was just – "

            "Oh, no wait, it's all right, m' dear. You're the wife aren't you?"

            Lily stood staring at the old man. If she said no, she could have the excuse of being denied access and go quite happily home. But if she said no, Sirius and the others would get into trouble and most likely not be able to visit again.

            Lily steeled herself and answered, "Yes." 

            "You're a bit young-lookin' to be married, aren't you?"

            "I . . . we – "

            "Oh, well I suppose times are changing, aren't they? Be having kids next I suppose . . ." and he trundled off, probably home from a long shift. Lily stood outside the door, horrified at the presumption. Shaking her head, she pushed the door softly open.

            James was asleep thankfully. Lily was about to turn around and leave, but there was something about his appearance that made her stay. Lying there, looking so helpless, he almost looked, well. _Innocent. Oh don't be ridiculous, Lily,_ she thought. _There is nothing innocent about James Potter._ There was an empty chair by the bedside; probably the one Mrs Potter had been sitting in before James had woken up. She hesitated, thinking her life would be made so much easier if she could just walk out of that door right now. But she was drawn to the chair. Against her better judgement, she sat down.

            The room did not have all of the Muggle equipment that normal hospitals did; Lily had gotten so used to them as her mother was frequently in for migraine problems. Lily had never been in St. Mungo's before. The chart above James's head on the wall behind his bed was writing as he slept, as though by an invisible hand. _Blood pressure good, sleeping soundlessly, ribs mending . . . _it went on and Lily looked away as it made her head hurt. There was a bottle of some sort of medicine by James's bedside table next to his glasses, half empty. 

            Lily looked at him. The bruise under his eye was purpling and very livid. She thought that he looked sad, despite the fact that he was sleeping as his face was knitted into a frown of some kind. A strand of messy black hair fell across his face, across his eyes. It would probably irritate him if it was not moved . . . _but what if he woke up_? Lily couldn't think of a more embarrassing situation. But there she went again, thinking about herself. She was partly responsible after all, Petunia wasn't anyone else's sister and she had left the letters out in the open, almost asking for them to be read. It could only be her fault that he was lying in that bed. Slowly, she reached out a pale hand, intending to gently lift the hair out of his face.

**&&&&&&&**

            James was dreaming.

            _He was in a room that he was sure he had seen before, perhaps even been in it, but at the same knew that he hadn't. It was a very familiar place. Everything was blurred at the edges; nothing had a defined shape and he couldn't make out anything. There was someone else in the room with him; someone he cared about more than life itself. He had to protect this person no matter what. A noise. Down the stairs. Someone was there. Someone unwanted, someone who shouldn't be there. He must get to them, must stop them from invading. This all seemed too familiar, all seemed too close to home. James wanted to wake up but he couldn't. He couldn't lift his eyelids; they were so heavy. He was face to face with the invader but everything seemed to be happening to quickly; flashing lights, everything speeding up. He could hear crying from upstairs, a scream, he had to help them. He had to. It was all someone's fault. There was laughing, high cold and piercing laughter. The invader was coming closer, bending down. James felt something touch his face . . . _

**&&&&&&&**

Lily withdrew her hand sharply. James sat up with lightening speed, looking around him, sweating. Lily was all for running out the door; how could she have been so stupid? Of course he would wake up! Now he would think she cared! But James hadn't seemed to notice she was there and that was why she didn't run out of the door. He looked distraught; distressed about something. She moved towards him and he finally noticed her.

            "Evans!" he said, eyes widening in surprise and all thoughts of that terrible dream leaking out of his mind as her form materialised before his eyes. Perhaps he was still dreaming.

            "What on earth is the matter?" she asked, unnerved at his anxiousness that had begun to diminish as soon as he had seen her. 

            "I had – oh it's nothing. A dream is all. It was just a . . . a nightmare." 

            There was a pause as Lily tried to figure out whether that was all that it was. "Right. Well, then I should probably go. If you're all right . . ." She turned to leave, cursing herself for being so irrefutably stupid. 

            "Wait!" said James. "What are you doing here now anyway? Pad – I mean, Sirius said you'd gone."

            Lily blinked. "Well, I was going to, I just, well. I'm going now."

            "Don't go," he said after her. "Look, don't feel bad about what happened. It was your sister's fault, not yours."

            "I don't feel bad," she lied. "Actually it was your fault for being so stupid."

            "How do you work that one out?" said James defensively. 

            "Well, first of all, you believe that I could say such horrible things, second of all you _fly_ over to my house _without _your glasses, and third of all, you . . . you smash into a tree for Merlin's Sake," she added as an after though, having a hard time keeping a straight face.

            "Oh well I'm glad you find it so amusing."

            Lily chuckled. "What you did is amusing. The state you're in now, however, is not. You could have killed yourself, you prat."

            "You know what? You sound like my mother." He ignored her indignant face. "How did you get in anyway? I thought they only let in family."

            Lily shook her head quickly. "Never mind. Ask Sirius."

            "Oh, on first name terms now, are we? I thought you two hated each other? Had a little bonding session over my spectacular rescue, did you?"

            "Don't be ridiculous," snapped Lily. "Well, I can see you're back to your old self, Potter."

            James smiled. "For a stupid moment there, I thought you were going to call me James. Like you did back in the Common Room."

            Lily turned away. "Merlin, you're not still going on about that, are you?"

            James smiled. "I will until you admit you like me."

            Lily turned away. "I'm going to go home now and have a hot bath and a sleep. If that's all right with you."

            James smirked. "Well, since you painted such a wonderful picture in my head there, I'll let you off."

            Lily gave him a look that was so undeniably reminiscent of Professor McGonagall that he kept silent. 

            "I'll see you at school, James," she added on the way out.

            James knew he should have left it there, but added just before she was out of hearing distance, "Thanks for getting that bit of hair, Lily, it can be a right pain in the backside." 

            Lily couldn't help but smile as she left the hospital; the smile overcame the self-goading she should have been feeling for getting so close once more to James Potter. 

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()_%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%_

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

***A/N: **Haha, add a little bit of fluffiness; it saves the day! No one has commented on the dream sequences yet; hmm. Do they seem a little familiar to any bright spark out there? *Smirks inwardly*. Anyway. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!

 Rosie x x x 


	13. Fear Of A Name

**CHAPTER 13..:::::.. Fear of a Name**

**         Disclaimer: **All that I own is the plot, *yawns widely and cannot be bothered to poke, prod and beat disclaimer with spare twig from garden*. 

**A/N:* **Argh I tell you what, this site is staring to irritate me to an extreme of suicide. Sometimes it lets me log in, sometimes it doesn't. I suppose it's better than never ever being able to get in. I do sympathise with people who don't have the Internet. Anyway, let's get on with this! 

**Fashiondiva:** Lol I do hope you are being sarcastic . . . Lol. How are the pills coming along? *is scared of the grinch like face*. Lol, I love the choconet thing, very funny. And, oh yes, Rosie knows all, but you will have to wait and see my dear Diva. Please send the angry pitch fork carrying villagers some other direction by the way else I ay have to unleash my tae quan do. Lol.

**Templa Otmena:** Yo there, thank you so much for your reviews, they're so inspiring and I really look forward to reading them. Did you mean that Bloomsbury reprinted the books to say that James comes out of the wand before Lily, or that that was actually the mistake that JK made? Ah, well it doesn't matter. I can't believe I have to eventually kill them off. *sniffs*. It's so traumatic! Oh well. These things happen.

**Vega Black:** Yeah I know, I was looking through the first book yesterday! *is now embarrassed at admitting that Harry Potter is ALL she reads*.

**Padfoot79:** Hmm, I'm thinking that Padfoot should stick all of his chocolate up Wormtail's mousy nose, but yes. I imagine Sirius's good side was brought out as he gave him some.

**Szhismine:** Yay! Someone got it at last. Lol. Glad you didn't find it funny! *Rosie begs you to repeatedly kick server as perhaps if we all do it, it may get the message*.

**MeLissa: **Lol yeah I'm glad I didn't throw it out of the window; else you would have no more story! Argh! Tragic!

**Lily Pad:** In answer to your "yay?" the answer is, "Yay!" I'm able to get in at the moment. For now . . .

**Tv-fan-06 :** You don't have to tell me to review! It's my story! Lol. You're the one who should review! Lol.

**Akira Gown:** It's OK, will forgive you for not reviewing. Yeah, the slang with Sirius is just really to show how much of a prat he is, and with the Healer, I made him particularly old so they would fool him, *has no idea where the notion of uncles came from and apologises*. And no, Lily doesn't know YET about Lupin or nicknames or the fact that her future husband and his three friends are Animagi . . . but that's for future chapters. As for the dreams, it's my belief that the Potters are kind of special, as they spawn the son that is to defeat the darkest wizard of all times, so despite the fact that they both hate Divination, I thought it kind of made sense for them to experience either prophetic dreams or even visions of the future. Oh, and the owl to Lupin and Peter was from James's parents. Or perhaps Dumbledore. I haven't decided yet. Lol. That bloke knows everything anyway.

**Inkling:** Lol, yeah, I sa trying to convey the similarities between Potter and son with the broomstick accidents! Lol. The dream sequences are indeed about the future . . . hmm. Guess you'll have to wait and see!

**Drops-of-winter:** Sorry, I'd already written this chapter before I read your review! Lol. Sorry, maybe I will later.

*HITS PLAY*

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

         "Seventh year is a big thing, you know, Prongs," said Sirius as they stood in Kings Cross Station in London on the platform 9 ¾ on the 1st of September a week later. James still had a faint bruise under his eye and his ribs were still painful, but never the less, there was no way he would have heeded his mother and stayed at home for an extra week like a normal person who would have jumped at the chance of doing so. 

         "So you keep saying, Padfoot," said James in reply as he hauled his trunk painfully behind him. "But am I right in believing what you are suggesting?"

         "What?" said Sirius.

         "Is Mr Black saying that perhaps we should tone our antics down in order to further our education?"

         Sirius smirked. "On the contrary, my good friend. I am suggesting that as this is our _last _year, we should, well . . . Spice things up slightly."

         James looked apprehensively sideways at his best friend. 

"It's just, think about it. Where else could we wreak havoc as we do and not get sent to Azkaban, or never given jobs for the rest of our natural lives?"

"What do you have in mind?"

         "Hmm. Well . . ."

         Sirius grinned mischievously and was about to answer when a voice came from behind him. "What are you two planning now?" said Remus Lupin. 

         A taller, more surely looking man from behind him spoke before they could move away. "Think about what I said, Remus," said Romulus Lupin; Remus's brother.

         "I will, now will you go home?" said Remus tiredly, "Please?" and watched as his brother disappeared through the barrier through to the Muggle world. 

         James looked at his other friend. "What did he say?" he asked.

         Lupin shrugged. "Oh, he was just warning me about the whole werewolf thing. I think he knows perfectly well what we get up to every month. It's just his way of letting me know that he knows pretty much everything." 

         Sirius looked concerned. "Well, we are careful, aren't we?"

         James frowned at Sirius. "Oh, yeah, of course we are. If you count nearly getting someone killed at the claws of Moony on purpose 'being _careful'_."

         "Oh, you're not still going on about that, are you?" spat Sirius.

         "James is right, Sirius," said Lupin seriously. "That little stint could have gotten you lot all into trouble as well, you know. Dumbledore would have figured it out that you accompany me every month."

         "Yeah, the word, _expelled _comes to mind," said James earnestly. 

         "Oh come on, you two, have a little faith! We've never been caught in the two years we've done this, have we?"

         "No, but – "

         "And I've said I was sorry. Old Prongs here rescued Snivellus before you could say greasy. So we're all good. Let's stop talking about it."

         Whether or not they would have stopped talking about it was never certain, as at that moment, Peter Pettigrew came into view, waving furiously. 

"Guys! Hi! Wait for me!" He was trying to detach himself from his small mother, who was checking his bags, hissing at him like a snake. 

"You'd best not've sneaked anythin' in 'ere, or I'll 'av you when you get 'ome," they could hear her, spitting with every syllable.

"I haven't mum, honest – "

"That's what you said last time, you little worm!"

"I haven't!" said Peter, but the three Marauders could tell when Peter was lying, and now was blatantly one of those cases. His mother, apparently, could not.

"I'll curse you if you 'av, I swear to Merlin's backside, you little puddle of –"

Peter planted a hurried and reluctant kiss on his mother's tight and bony cheek. "I've got to go now mum, I'll see you! Bye!" And he hurried off to his three friends, leaving her scowling.

"All right, Wormtail?" said James. 

Peter tried to look as though the process he had just gone to was common practice and that it didn't affect him. "Oh, yeah, silly old bat."

They smirked, and were just about to board the train when a shriek came from behind them. 

"JAMES!"

James spun around. "Oh, for Merlin's Sake, woman, what now?" he said to his mother. 

"There is still time for you to change your mind, you know!" she said shrilly. "You can still stay at home!"

"Mum, we've been through this," said James quietly. "I'm _fine. _Now go away!"

Mr Potter came running up behind his wife. "Come on now, Maureen, the boy will be fine with his friends!"

Mrs Potter broke into yet another tirade of tears. "I know!" she spluttered. "But, but it's not just that – it's . . . it's _V . . . V . . . _oh, He Who Must Not Be Named!"

James rolled his eyes. "Mum, come on. Not now, eh?" he said in a voice of forced kindness. Sirius broke away from Lupin and Pettigrew, who was snickering again, to help James calm his mother, for whom he felt a great affection.

 "Yeah, come on, Mrs Potter, Voldemort would be mad to take over Howarts! Remember Dumbledore?" he said, patting her arm.

Despite Sirius saying the real name of the Dark Lord, Mrs Potter overcame her wince and looked at both of them. "I suppose you're right," she said thickly through a damp tissue. "You're a good boy, Sirius, you look after them all, won't you?"

"And I'm not?" said James.

"And besides, He'd be mad to try anything with us lot either!" Sirius joked, looking around at his friends. 

Mrs Potter nodded, accepted a kiss on the cheek from James and was lead away by her husband who patted James on the back.

Peter was still laughing lazily, as though it was false, but necessary.  

"Shut up, Wormtail," snapped James. 

When they had found a compartment, Peter was still sulking with a glowering expression and James looked around to all of them. 

"She's not wrong, you know," he said after a few minutes of silent rocking along with the rhythm of the train.

"Don't over-exaggerate, Prongs," said Sirius thinly.

"No, I mean it. Didn't you hear about the Prewits only last week? The Longbottoms the month before?"

"Of course we heard," said Lupin quietly.

"Well, they were no ordinary people, were they? They were Aurors! Good ones!" James snapped testily.

The others were silent; it seemed that none of them wanted to talk about Voldemort.

"Look, all I'm saying is that we need to be on our guard."

Lupin shifted. "I know what you're saying, Prongs, it's just, well. Sirius is right. We've got Dumbledore." 

James nodded. "I know."

"So, let's stop worrying, shall we?" said Sirius.

James shook his head. "I've just got this feeling . . . something's going to happen soon. Voldemort isn't going to hang around waiting for long."

Peter frowned even more. "Don't say the name!" he hissed. All three of them looked at him. Peter seemed to shrink under their gaze.

"Why not?" said Sirius seriously.

"Because!" hissed Peter.

"Because what? He might hear us?" said James sarcastically. "Fear of a name, Peter, only increases fear of the thing itself."

They were silent for most of the journey, Peter still sulking even all the way through the Great Feast.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

         Lily jerked suddenly awake. It must nearly have been morning. She was sweating; something that never usually happened during nightmares. It had been the same one, the one with the highly cold and piercing laughter and the petrified screaming. _I just wish I knew what it all means! _She thought frustratedly to herself. She traced a hand over her brow and swung her legs over the side of her bed and looked around her, as though a solution about the dream was hiding somewhere in a corner. Arabella and Marietta were sleeping soundlessly; not even a snore. Lily usually savoured the times when she woke up in her dormitory at school; the absence of Petunia's snores was something to appreciate, but now, she wished she were totally alone so she could clear her mind of this horrible dream that kept plaguing her in her sleep. 

         There was a girl's bathroom just outside of the dormitory, to the left. She flicked the light on and saw to her horror that she looked awful. She was white as a ghost and her hair was plastered down to her head. Lily took a flannel and wiped her face, taking a brush and smoothing out her hair. A chill suddenly crept over her and she reached for the pale blue silken dressing gown hanging up on the hook of the door. 

         _I need a drink, _she thought. _Maybe I'm ill._ Looking at last to her friends sleeping soundlessly, she crept down the stairs. 

*** * * * * ***

         James jerked suddenly awake. It must have been very early; a pink glow was almost radiating from over the hills; he could see it out of the open window. He was sweating, as he had done back in that hospital bed when he had had the same dream. The dream with highly cold and piercing laughter and the petrified screaming. James had only had this dream twice now, yet was already growing tired of it. _Wish I knew what it meant, _he thought to himself.  He sat up slowly and looked around the room, as though something would suddenly become clear to him about the dream. It didn't. 

         There was a boy's bathroom just outside of the dormitory, to the right. He flicked the light on and saw, without much surprise that he looked awful. His face was white and filled with worry, his hair sticking up and looking even more messy than usual if that was even possible. James splashed his face with water and put some on his hair, not to make it lie flat because that would be impossible, but to tame it slightly. 

         _I need a drink_, he thought, and looking down at his pyjamas and then at the dressing gown on the door, he decided he would go as he was; in a vest top and blue pyjama trousers. He cast one more look to his sleeping friends, where there wasn't a sound except a real snore from Sirius. Satisfied, he crept down the stairs.

*** * * * * ***

         Lily sat in front of the dying fire, creating mystical pictures before her eyes with the orange flames that danced mysteriously. If she tilted her head to the left, that flame next to the log almost looked like a dragon. But if she tilted it to the right, it looked like a pile of dragon dung. Lily had never had any patience with the art of Divination. Professor Trelawney had said that she possessed no mystical aura, and since Lily excelled with predicted O's in every other subject, she had dropped it after refusing any more to see things in the tealeaves of her pink china cup. She remembered now that James had also dropped Divination in the same year seeing as how he had only taken it because Sirius Black had. _Don't think about him_, thought Lily. _It's unhealthy._

         No sooner had she thought this however, there was a noise on the stairs behind her. She spun around and saw a very sheepish-looking James Potter making his way down them. Lily had not seen him since the hospital incident. He had not seen her in the chair, however, and wandered dreamily over to the sink without looking over. He filled a glass with water and stood by the wall, drinking it in one long gulp.

         "Following me?" she asked, almost resentfully because she was trying her hardest.

         James spat out his water all over the floor in surprise. "Merlin, Evans! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

         "Yes," said Lily. 

         "Well, actually, no. I'm not following you, so you can un-flatter yourself right about now." James looked quickly away. What was he doing? Insulting the girl he was mad about? _Smart move, James._

         "Sorry," said Lily to his relief.

         "No, it's OK. I just couldn't sleep."

         "Join the club," said Lily resentfully, remembering the dream. Or nightmare.

         "OK. You can be President. I'll be the caretaker if I have to."

         Lily chanced a smile. "So, are you feeling better now then?"

         "No," said James truthfully. "If I said I wasn't, they wouldn't have let me out. That bloody Healer and his exercises . . ."

         "You really have a problem with good advice, don't you?"

         "Not at all! Where do you get that idea from?" said James in indignation.

         "Or perhaps, you just have a problem with authority."

         James smirked. "Ah. Now _that _may be closer to the mark." Lily turned back to the fire. James felt he needed to keep the conversation going. "So come on, Lils. Spill to Uncle Jamsie. Why are you up?" 

         Lily frowned. For a second, she thought his use of the word _uncle_ meant that Sirius had told him how they had gotten in to visit him and that she had lied to say she was his wife. But if he knew, he did not mention it. 

"I don't really want to talk about it."

         James paused. "Nightmare?"

         She looked at him, looked into those deep, hazel eyes, seemingly wanting to know more, seemingly concerned. _Maybe not seemingly,_ she thought. _Maybe he really does care._ She paused and then said, "Yes."

         "Me too."

         "Really?" she asked.

         "Yeah. Like, a deja vous thing. But, only not really. Quite complicated really."

         Lily was suddenly very interested. "Seriously? Because that's exactly how mine feel!" she said, almost excited at the prospect that the dreams might mean something. 

         "Really? Maybe we're having the same dream."

         Lily made a _pur-leaze _face. "Yes, that may be true, if we shared the same mind, the same brain and the same motor functions."

         James made a face of mock hurt. "Oh, Lily, there I went, thinking at last that we had some sort of connection."

         "We do," she said out loud, and suddenly realised what she had said.

         James sat down in the chair next to her, suddenly forgetting about the dream, suddenly feeling wide-awake. "We do?" he repeated.

         Lily looked away, feeling she wished she could take back what she said, but she couldn't. "I just mean – what with the tree and everything."

         It was James's turn to look away, slightly dismayed. "Oh, yeah. I guess. Oh, by the way, thanks. If it hadn't been for you, Sirius probably wouldn't have found me."

         Lily looked back. "I wouldn't have known your Patronus."

         "You'd have figured it out," he said. "So, thanks. I mean, you kind of saved my life. Or perhaps my limbs," he said on an after-thought.

         Lily looked at him. "You saved mine," she said quietly. 

         James flushed. Why did he have to go red now? Was it really necessary? "Yeah, well . . . that was fluke really." James didn't really know why he was trying to be so modest about this, but he didn't want Lily to think his head was still _fat,_ as she had so blandly put it that day at the lake.

         "You've changed," she said plainly. "The old James Potter I knew and loathed would have had me forever in debt for that."

         James chanced a chuckle. "Well, as I said. I guess we're equal now," he said, willing himself to appear mature enough for her to continue talking to him. He liked the sound of her voice.

         "So I don't owe you anything?" she asked, a certain amount of apprehension in her voice.

         James looked back at her, all redness gone. "How about honesty?" 

         "About what?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

         "Your feelings for one."

         Lily looked at the floor. "James, please don't . . ."

         "Lily, I've been asking you out for how long now? Nearly three years? And you've said no every time. But I've still kept on asking. Doesn't that tell you something?"

         Lily said nothing, but became very interested in the shadows on the carpet. 

         "You're right. I have changed."

         Lily looked up. "You only changed because I wanted you to," she said, knowing it was true.

         "Ah, there she goes again with the self-flattery," he joked. "Did it ever occur to you I changed because I had to? Because of things going on outside now that you need to be a little more mature for?"

         Lily looked up. "Voldemort?" 

         James nodded. "You say his name."

         "Yes. I've got no reason not to," she replied. "You do too. Didn't he kill your grandparents?" she asked in a softer tone.

         James looked away. "A long time ago."

         "I'm sorry," said Lily.

         "Don't be," he said. "They didn't know us very well."

         There was silence, as Lily thought of what she could say next and manage to keep her voice level at the same time. He wanted the truth? She could tell him how she felt, said a voice in her head. _No, that's stupid, _said another. _It'd just go wrong, you know it would._ Why? Why would it go wrong? Why did everything in her life have to go wrong? Why couldn't something go right for once? _You have to be sure, if you're serious here. _Sure of what? _Sure that you do have feelings for him and it's not just his eyes, or the way he speaks to you now, or that he's saved your life._

         James was trying to work out her expression; it was as though she were having a personal debate inside her head. _Maybe I should go, _he thought. _She doesn't want to talk to me. _He thought he should say something, _anything, _before he made his spectacularly awful exit.

         "Lily, I –"

         "You want the truth, James?" she said quickly, hurriedly, trying to get it out before it went wrong.

         James was faintly surprised. "Yes . . ."

         Lily stood up and began to pace. 

         "Lily, I just want to know why you hold back. When it's obvious that – "

         "I don't trust myself with you, James."

         The answer was so bland, so _unexpected_ that James did not say anything for a minute. Lily looked away for a few seconds. "Don't – don't trust yourself?"

         Lily sighed. "I'm just so . . . every thing has been so messed up in my life. My education . . . do you know I only got my letter two days before school term started?"

         "No, I . . . I didn't know that."

         "And my sister and her friends . . . other family not approving . . ." Lily laughed. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this."

         "It's OK," prodded James. He desperately wanted to know more about her life. 

         "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, these past years, everything has fallen into place. I've been doing well in school, Petunia's scared of me, things have just been simple."

         James almost smiled. 

         "And when you finally change, after all those years of asking me . . . it just seems like everything will go haywire if I . . ." 

         "If you what? Finally trust yourself?"

         Lily paused. "If I let you in."

         James was surprised. Behind the defiant screen that Lily Evans appeared to project, here she was, telling him that there was something behind it. "Lily, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to use you and leave you."

         "Because you've never done that with any other girl?" 

         James grimaced. "Well, no . . ."

         "What about Amanda Pollock?" 

         "She came on to me!"

         "And Jennifer Garners?" 

         "I was drunk you know!"

         "Petra Williamson?"

         "I . . . she . . ."

         "Betty Molton? Sabrina Cotton? Katherine Onion?" Lily said, ticking them off on her fingers. "You and Sirius are almost neck and neck. That's nearly half the girls in our dorm."

         "A quarter at least!" said James indignantly. Any other circumstance and he may have felt slightly proud at these accomplishments, but now, standing here in front of Lily, James felt cheap, dirty. Unworthy. Undeserving of Lily. She was right. 

         "And that's not even to mention Ravenclaw or the few girls that have turned you down . . ."

         "Right, OK, let's go on that subject. _Turned me down. _How many girls do you think?"

         "Potter, this isn't about your sexual status here . . ."

         "No, I mean, how many of them have I pursued?" 

         Lily paused. "Well, none."

         "Exactly. How many have I changed for?"

         "That doesn't mean . . ." 

         "How many have I asked out sixty-seven times?"

         Lily stopped answering back. Now he came to mention it, he had a point.

         "And one last thing. The girls you're talking about were at least eight months ago. _This is different._"

         Lily looked at him apprehensively. "How can I trust you?"

         "Well, first you said it. You have to trust yourself first."

         James suddenly felt in control. His point was more valid than hers, she was the one afraid. He could change her mind. _Give me time, _she had said. _Right. I'll walk away. That way, she can't accuse me of not giving her time. _"I'm going to go back to bed now. Think about it, Lily. It's you that has to change. Not me. I've already done that."

         Lily was all for defying him, saying he was wrong, saying he had no point and that she, and she alone, were right. But that was one hopeless thing about James Potter. Now and again, he made her see that she was not the only one in the world who had common sense or who spoke the truth. She didn't feel superior with him, and that was what was frightening her. 

         He walked past her, unhurriedly and stopped in front of her.

         _Oh damn, _thought Lily. _This is exactly what you didn't want! _But was it? He bent down, and Lily clenched her fist. But he only kissed her softly on the cheek. In fact, it was barely a kiss at all; more like a statement that said he would wait. 

_Damn you Potter, _she said in her head, but he had already gone, leaving her standing alone with a great deal of thoughts buzzing around in her head. The old James Potter would have pushed the matter; would have waited for a definite answer. He was right. He _had _changed.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

**A/N:* **Yes, I know the Lily and James dream sequences were almost near identical; that was deliberate you know! *Winks in a sly fashion*. Yeah, I know you're not supposed to feel sorry for Peter, and I'm sorry if you do! It's just, it can't just have been James and his friends along with jealousy that made him turn . . . could it? *Winks once more*. Anyway, see that little blue box that says **SUBMIT REVIEW?** _That's_ the one. Right, now, click on it, and write me beefy long reviews. Lol. Thank you muchly. 

  
  



	14. Heads Up

**CHAPTER 14..:::::.. Heads Up **

**Disclaimer: **Shall I say that I own everything? Just to spice things up and make myself liable for arrest? (It's not true really.)

**A/N:*** The site terrified me again; I couldn't get in for hours. Lol. Yes, I know I am pathetic and have no life whatsoever. I got a lot of comments about one thing; for the record I am perfectly aware that Neville was born in July and when Lily says, _"he's attacked the Longbottoms," _I meant the grandparents. Sorry, I guess that should have been clearer! Also, I wanted to let everyone know about Arabella Figg in my story. I know she was a squib, but isn't Filch a squib? Doesn't Neville describe himself as _almost_ a squib? I'm pretty sure that squibs can study magic, but not necessarily know any of it or pick it up. Yeah, still not very believable I know, as Figgy is described as a Muggle in OotP, but work with me here people! Anyway, thanks for the reviews! 200!!!! Yay!!!! 

**Coolcatjenny:** Ah, but what about her budding friendship with Sirius? Didn't he say that he would have died before he betrayed either of them? They should be bonding soon I expect. 

**Akira Gown:** Wow. Beefy is the understatement of the year. Yeah, I think Dumbledore is a Legillimens or what ever it is. I think Fred and George are kind of based on the Marauders; (but I imagine they had more appealing looks and reputations than the Weasleys. Bless.) Yeah, I'm trying to show that James and Lily are connected! Also I don't know if the grandparent Potters were killed or got just really old and . . . well. Died. But you shall have to wait and see if I give James a chance for revenge on the "thing". Lol. And as for Jennifer Garner, yes, she was in both. I love her; she kicks ass and thought I should give her the privilege of a cameo. *Eyes glaze over as she thinks of Ben Affleck in Daredevil and Michael Varton in Alias*.

**Templa Otmena:** Hey Lou, thanks for the review; no problem for the email. I was worried coz fan fiction was like it was a few days ago; I couldn't get in! I was so scared, but now it's OK (I hope.) Yeah, I want to show how and why Peter might have betrayed them and have him act like a wheezy wanker in the first place makes it ideal for James and the others to begin to dislike the way he reacts; therefore starting a cycle . . . dun dun duuun! Um I think that that whole Long-bottom thing was meant to be Frank and Alice's parents, I just didn't make it very clear. My bad.

**Them Girl:** Hey, thanks for the review! I'll update now!

**Szhismine:** Yes, that was long enough! Lol. Don't worry; I have no idea what real love is like. I have absolutely no experience in the matter!

**George is Hot: **Lol, yeah I got the impression that you weren't that um . . . type-active. But I am glad you are continuing to read.

**Spark:** Please don't wine! Here you go!

**GoddessMoonlady:** Yeah, I was going for humour, but I guess that it fell flat on its face! Lol. Never mind.

**Aissy5:** Yeah, the Longbottoms didn't die, they were tortured into insanity. But you're right; I just couldn't think of any more names you guys would relate to! It was meant to be the grandparents. But I get how it could have been confusing.

**Tigermouse:** Wow, thanks for the *beefy* review! Thank you so much for your praise for the story; I work really hard on it and it's great that some of you appreciate it the way you do, so thanks.

**Lucky:** Hi, do you mean you don't think its pg13? Cos I think that's how I rated it but I'm not sure . . . anyone else think the rating should be higher? If so let me know. Don't worry; more on the way.

**Jainajag00: **Hi, great that you like the way I've portrayed them. I love writing this; it's so much fun!

**OctoberPotterSnape: **Hi, sorry it took you ages; fan fiction has really been playing up lately, it's been driving me crazy! Glad you love this!

**Wing Goddess:** *Rosie nods in agreement that Wing Goddess is a little odd but says it's OK as she is too*. A picture of Sirius? What, one you made up or Garry Oldman who plays him in PoA? OOOOh. I'm SO excited that film is out soon!

**Angle's Luv: **Hehe, glad you like it. My attempts at humour aren't really that planned; they just sort of come out of my mouth! (That can be a real problem in real life you know, when people don't realise you're trying to be funny and just think you're weird.)

**Inkling: **Yeah, I meant the grandparents, not Frank and Alice. Their parents. Lol, loads of people said that, sorry I didn't make it that clear! Oh and thanks for your very beefy review, you exceed expectations! Lol, thanks. I'm thinking that L and J must eventually get together. Lol. Harry is the product right? Lol. Don't really know how I'm gonna write that scene . . . hmm. Lol.

**MeLissa: **Don't worry, she will!

**Kari:** Glad you know what's going on, you got their feelings spot on! How insightful! Lol.

**LauraLou:** Aha, I was getting confused you see because I have the correct version and didn't get what everyone was going on about! Lol.

**GoddessMoonlady:** Don't worry, originality is vastly over-rated. Lol. Peter's mom was kind of unexpected really; I just started to write her and thought, hey, this could be fun!

**Kat:** Yeah, sorry the whole Romulus thing wasn't my idea; I do not deserve the credit. It was a rumour I heard that might not even come true but you never know . . . as for Jennifer Garner, I know! She rocks, she kicks ass and can look gorgeous as well. Not fair I tell you. Not fair. *Ahh, Ben Affleck in Daredevil*. I just thought I should give her a cameo appearance in my story! Lol. I didn't mean to put the extra 's' on the end.

**Surge:** Lol not real stitches I hope? Glad you liked it! Ah, no Jennifer Garner wasn't coincidence. I didn't mean to put the extra 's' on the end. As I felt she was worthy, I gave her a cameo appearance. Lol.

*HITS PLAY*

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

"I _cannot _believe you, Lily Evans," said Marietta that evening as Lily plaited her friend's hair whilst perched on the end of her bed. 

"And why is that?" asked Lily, carefully making the plait more defined as she added more bits of golden hair into it. "How curly do you want this in the morning?"

Marietta fished out a toffee sweet from the bag in front of her. "You still can't see that James Potter is mad about you. Very curly please."

Lily sighed. "Do we really have to talk about this now? And I need more toggles if you want it _really_ curly."

"Yes, we do have to talk about this. It's a very serious subject! There's more in the drawer."

"I talk about it all day and all night in my head as it is. I don't need to talk about it as well with you. I can't just let go of your hair to get to the drawer. I'll have to hold it and you'll have to move," said Lily in a muffled tone as she was holding two toggles in her mouth.

Marietta sighed and got up and moved whilst Lily held her hair, head tilted to the side. "Lily, he _has_ changed. What was it that he said to you? _"You're the one that has to change?"_ Not to be nasty, but I think he has a point. Ouch, that hurts."

Lily grappled in the drawer whilst trying to keep hold of the plat. "Oh, Maz, I don't know. When I go over it in my head I just . . . it seems such a risk."

"Merlin's beard, Lily, he's not asking you to marry him!"

Lily frowned and grabbed three toggles. "I know. It's just – there's a lot of history. We clash; I don't agree with the way he treats people."

"_Treated _people. Seriously Lil, that hurts."

"Sorry," she said, slightly releasing the hair. "You only have this opinion because you think he's good looking. Personally, I don't think he's anything special. If anything _were _to occur, and I'm NOT implying it will, it won't be for his looks."

Marietta snorted. "Whatever, Lily. Is it going to be really curly?"

"Look, I know Pot – James has changed. I know he still likes me. And maybe I am being too hard on him, I don't know. I need time. If you stop moving your head it will be."

"Lily, you need to wake up a little bit. I know you've had a hard time of it, growing up with Muggles and all that and with your sister and people calling you names and not accepting you . . . but that doesn't mean that you can never have a proper relationship with someone because of all that." This coming from Marietta was a little bit rich, Lily thought, as she wasn't exactly Miss Rational. When her boyfriend had cheated on her with an ugly Slytherin in the lower year, she had used the Curse of the Bogies on him and earned herself a months' worth of detention with Dumbledore himself. 

            "Marietta, we're seventeen. How can we possibly have a proper relationship that actually means something? When I do finally have one with someone, I want it to be real. Not just a fling where they use me and spread it around the school which will be inevitable with Potter."

            Marietta sighed and chewed on another toffee. "Well, Lily, you'll never know if you don't give it a try will you?"

            Lily said nothing, but pulled the plait a little tighter as she knew that Marietta had a point and it annoyed her to know it.

* * * * * 

            James was sat playing Wizard Chess with Lupin that evening. His bishop was losing spectacularly to Lupin's pawn; something Sirius found very amusing as did Peter. Of course, if Sirius found anything amusing, Peter had to laugh too.

            "Squash him, _squash him,_ you idiot, it's only a pawn," muttered James under his breath. The bishop turned around on his black square and turned his ivory head angrily to James.

            "Well, young Sir, if you hadn't been playing like a sissy the entire match, we wouldn't be in this position now, would we?" it said. 

            "Why are you so bad at this, Prongs?" said Sirius through a mouthful of chocolate. 

            "Must run in the family. Dad can't play either," said James miserably as the Bishop was trashed by the pawn under protests of _"amateurs!" _

            "I make that checkmate, my dear friend," said Lupin proudly. 

            "Do you practice battle tactics in your sleep, Moony?" asked James defensively.

            Lupin chucked. "No. You're just very bad. Do you plan any moves at all?"

            A wry smile appeared on James's face. "Oh yes indeed my dear friend, but not in chess I hasten to add."

            Sirius sat forwards. "What? Has something happened with a certain Miss Evans?"

            James chuckled and the others leaned forwards, Peter the furthest so he was nearly touching James, the chess match forgotten. "I am in total control. She wants me."

            Lupin looked away. "She wants you? Are you sure? She's got a funny way of showing it."         

            "Hey, she helped save my life. Sirius?"

            "He's right," said Sirius amusedly. "She said she cared about him. OK, it was an infroid slip, but it was true because she denied it. Women deny anything that's true, trust me. My mother denied that she beat our house-elf Kreacher three years ago because he said he had grown fond of me. I believed her until I saw the state of him."

            "Grown fond of you? Kreacher?"

            "She disapproved because I didn't take all her _pureblood _shite." 

            The others tried to shake the unpleasant image of Sirius's mother out of their minds and turned back to James.   

            "Anyway," said James, giving Sirius a sympathetic look, "I've changed, haven't I?"

            Sirius inclined his head, "Hmm, sort of."

            "You don't swear as much as you used to," said Wormtail truthfully.

            "You worry more," said Lupin.

            "And we haven't tormented Snivellus nearly as much as we should have done this week," said Sirius with a sad expression. "You know, Prongs, I'm not sure I like this change."

            "He changed for a girl," said Lupin nostalgically. " Never thought I'd see the day."

            "I haven't changed that much!" said James indignantly. "It's not like I'd let Snivellus get away with hexing me or anything!"

            Sirius frowned. "You know, there was a time where we didn't let him get away with existing."

            They all laughed, Peter most of all, enjoying the memories of watching from the sidelines, unable to actually do the inflicting. 

            "I forgot that Lily didn't like all of the _Snape-bashing,_" remarked Lupin. 

            Sirius turned, as though something was dawning on him. "Oh, is that why you haven't hit him all week?" he said.

            James flushed. "No! It's just . . . he hasn't really given me a reason to."

            Lupin nodded. "That's fair, James. I always thought you two went too far with Snape."

            Sirius however, looked scandalised. "What, we need a reason now?"

            James shook his head. "No, not at all, just . . . not in front of Lily, OK?"

* * * * * 

            The next day was not an easy one for Lily. Once again, she had not slept well the night before and sat in the Great Hall, barely taking in a word of what Arabella was saying about Sirius.

            " . . . is just _so _good-looking, don't you think?" 

            Lily spooned her cereal, making it into a kind of sludge.

            "Yes, but –" Marietta was cut off.

            "Like, real _boyfriend _material."

            "Sirius Black, boyfriend material? That's like saying Nifflers' make good pets, Bella," said Marietta. 

            "No, it's not," snapped Arabella. "I bet he'd really like to settle down some day."

            Marietta chuckled. "Yeah, _some day_, like when Hell freezes over."

            "You're just jealous because he doesn't talk to you anymore. What do you think, Lily?

            Lily did not respond. 

"Lily?" prompted Marietta.

She still did not look up but seemed to be enthralled by her soggy cereal.

            "Lils? Oh, I picked up your pet elephant by the way, Marietta. What do you think of the name Dumbo, Lily?" she joked.

            "Sounds great," said Lily without even looking up.

            "Seriously, Lily, what is with you lately?"

            Lily looked up. "Elephant?"

            Marietta laughed. "She's pining over Potter."

            "I am NOT pining over Potter," Lily snapped testily.

            "He hasn't spoken to her for days now," said Arabella. "Told her the Snitch is in her Pitch. Which I think is fair."

            Lily shot her a look.

            "Or, less than fair," she added on a second thought. 

            Lily sighed and rubbed her head. "I just didn't sleep is all."

            "Yeah, you're telling us!" said Arabella. "Could you have muttered any louder?"

            Lily looked faintly alarmed. "I was muttering?" She was aware of the fact that she had had the same dream as always last night, and thought that maybe she had muttered something significant. "What did I say?"

            "Oh I don't know. Once you've heard one moan you've heard them all."

            Lily continued breakfast feeling slightly uneasy.

* * * * * 

            The rest of the day did not improve. She thought she felt James's eyes on her back in Potions and turned around only to see him flicking drips of his Smouldering Solution onto the desk and watching it smoke. He hated Potions; she knew that much about him. He had mentioned ages ago that he never understood the meaning of it or why one needed it as a qualification as an Auror. James was not watching her however and she looked away quickly before he figured out her thoughts from her expression. Lily was faintly impressed however, that James was only smouldering the table and not Snape, who was sitting two seats diagonally from him. Snape was eyeing James with an unmistakable expression of dislike, but James hadn't seemed to notice. Lily thought he would have used the excuse of it to hex Snape or something, but he didn't seem that bothered.

            In Transfiguration, Lily actually fell asleep with her head on the desk, missing what McGonagall was saying about human into animal transformations when someone's entrance woke her abruptly.

            "Sorry to interrupt, Professor," said a curly haired fourth year Hufflepuff, "but Professor Dumbledore would like to see Lily Evans and James Potter in his office right away."

            Lily snapped her head up. Dumbledore? Her and Potter? What was wrong? 

            Professor McGonagall however looked rather cross and turned to Lily. "Is that arrangement OK with you, Miss Evans? Or would you like another ten minute's nap?"

            Lily flushed pink behind her ears, hearing some people laughing, and made for the door, hastily gathering her things.

            "Lily, will you do the extra chapter on Morphmagus's please? As I presume you were not listening unless you were dreaming about it." There were more laughs at this.

            "Yes, Professor," she said.

            James followed her out lazily, shutting the door behind them. Lily quickened her pace, not wanting to be alone with James just yet as she hadn't thought about what she was going to say. It was inevitable however, and she knew it, that he would talk to her.

            "Hey, Lily, wait up!" he said, jogging to keep up.

            Lily didn't really slow her pace but looked back whilst walking. "What does Dumbledore want with us?" she asked him, trying to advert him from the subject he was bound to bring up.

            "Not a clue," he said. "Are you avoiding me?" he asked her directly, not particularly bothered that the Headmaster wanted to see him urgently in his office. James had heard that line once too many to be worried by it.

            "No," she said quickly. "You haven't asked me out all day. Something wrong with you?"

            James snorted. "Nope. You said you needed time."

            This answer caught Lily off-guard and she slowed her pace. She had not expected him to heed her in any way what so ever. But he had, it seemed. 

            "If you ask me, it's not only your frosty personality that's giving you the Ice-Queen look today though," he said. "Am I right?"

            Lily frowned, irritated that so many people were saying that to her. "I didn't sleep."

            "Ah, more bad dreams?" he asked sincerely.

            "Yes, if you must know," she said testily.

            "Join the club," he said torpidly. "I wouldn't worry about it, though. I think it's just the whole last year stress, what with our NEWT's at the end and all that. You know how it is."

            Lily frowned at his simple analysis of the situation that was apparently keeping them _both_ awake. "Do you not think that it might . . . I don't know – mean something?" she asked apprehensively, glad for the fact that the subject they were on was not about her feelings for him.

            James frowned. "Oh you don't mean like, _visions_ or anything, do you? I thought you felt the same way as me about what a whole load of crap Divination was?"

            "No, I know I do, it's just . . . oh it's nothing. It just seems . . . well. Recurring." 

            James looked at her sympathetically, as though he were explaining something very simple such as one and one make two. "Lily, trust me, Divination is a joke. It's made up so that old frauds like Trelawney can have a job because they can't do anything else for a living."

            "That's a little harsh," said Lily as they approached Dumbledore's office. "I suppose you know this place like the back of your hand don't you? You've been in it enough," she said, signalling to the office up ahead.

            "I'm beating Sirius marginally," he said proudly. "Sirius has been here one hundred and forty-six times." 

            "And you?" she said.

            James smiled and swelled proudly. "_I_," he said dramatically, as though building something up, "have been here one hundred and forty-_nine_ times."

            Lily did not smile back though she badly wanted to. "That's nothing to be proud of."

            "Ah, see, I beg to differ."  
            "You always do," she said as she knocked. 

            James smiled half-heartedly. "So, have you changed your mind yet?" he asked quietly. "Trust yourself enough to try something that might actually make you happy?"

            Lily opened her mouth to speak. What she was going to say, however, she did not know, but was saved the task of speaking when Dumbledore spoke from within.

            "Come in," he said in a low, almost mysterious voice. 

            Instead of answering James, Lily pushed open the door without so much as glancing at him. 

            Dumbledore was sat behind his desk in his strange and wonderful office; the portraits were snoozing, (they usually greeted James jovially as he had come to know them so well) small silver objects were whirring and emitting puffs of random smoke on bookcases and stands of some sort, and Fawkes the phoenix was balanced on his perch, blinking down benignly at them both as they entered. Lily closed the door quietly as James came in.

            "Ah, Mr Potter and Miss Evans," he said. "Please, have a seat, both of you." With a wave of his wand, he conjured up two comfy red armchairs out of thin air to sit opposite him. They sat down, Lily looking nervous, James quite at home.  "I must impress first of all, that neither of you have done anything wrong and it is not for punishment that you are here."

            James leaned forwards, confused. "Erm – what?"

            Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, my dear boy, this must be the first time you have been here to not be punished, am I right?"

            James thought for a second. "Well, no, I was a witness to the blowing up of Avery once, Sir, but it wasn't me."

            "Ah, yes. My memory deceives me. Anyway, to the point," he said, as Lily was still looking confused. "You will have been wondering, perhaps, why the Head Boy and Head Girl have not since been announced since your arrival back to school?"

            The clogs clicked in both their heads, realising what this must mean, but both nodded all the same. 

            "That was due partially to . . . other pressing matters of more importance which demanded my immediate attention at the time. Therefore I was unable to announce in front of the school that it is you two, that are the new Head Boy and Head Girl." 

            James let out a low whistle. Lily however, beamed. It was what she had always wanted, what she had been working towards her entire education. She had completely forgotten about being Head Girl in the week back as thoughts of James were still plaguing her. This made the surprise even more wonderful. 

            "Oh, Sir, thank you!" she said, smiling. _But James? _she thought. She couldn't think of a single person less worthy of the title. He had caused more mayhem than any of the Marauders, Sirius included. James seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her. 

            "That is quite all right, my dear. There was no question of you being Head Girl, I can assure you. Your grades are as high as ever they were. You excelled in all of your OWL's, most marks higher than any, and you have a specific sense of responsibility that is needed for –"

            James cleared his throat loudly. Dumbledore turned to him.

            "Sir," James said. "This – I mean . . . are you sure . . . I couldn't –"

            "James, please do not stutter. I can assure you that there is no mistake about my choice. It is true that you are not as . . . obedient shall we say, as Lily here, but you do possess certain qualities that . . ."

            "But I wasn't even a Prefect!" he interjected. "Surely you'd want someone who knows the system, who can be . . ."

            Dumbledore silenced him with his hands. "It is my wish that the pair of you should be the Head Students of Hogwarts. As I was saying, James, you have too many of the qualities that Godric Gryffindor himself looked for in his students to ignore. Bravery, integrity, honesty, resourcefulness, the list could go on. Godric Gryffindor was perhaps the greatest wizard of his time, others included and it is this that I could not ignore. The fact that you also have a certain disregard for the rules, at the moment, is irrelevant. I think that combined with the qualities of Miss Evans, you would make a fantastic pairing."

            They looked sideways at each other and then back at him.

            "As Head Students, I mean. Obviously, now you are older you may have a different type of pairing in mind," (Lily almost glared at him whilst James looked amused) "but that is none of my business, of course," he added, smiling wryly. 

            Lily shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She could not believe that even Dumbledore was making the suggestion. Was it that obvious?

            "Now, there are a few things you will need to know, as the new enforcers, but I imagine that some of them are fairly obvious. First of all, whilst you have the power to take points away from Houses, you do not have the authority to give out detention. That is a privilege reserved for the Professors only. You may, however, report certain incidents to your Head of House, that is Professor McGonagall in this case, and note also that magic in corridors is strictly forbidden amongst students. That also means," he added, looking pointedly to James, "that you can also still _receive _detention as well."

            "Damn," James muttered under his breath. Lily almost smiled. 

            "I must also say that, obvious though it may be, you must not abuse the concession to take points away from other Houses as that has happened in the past . . . also there will be monthly meetings between all the Heads; adults and yourselves that is. These are held in my office with me present and the Head Professor of each House. You are also required to aid or assist any younger members of any House, not just your own, if they ask for help and to guide First Years to the dormitories on their first day."

            It took a few minutes for the news to entirely sink in for James, and when it had done, he felt sure that he was in fact dreaming. 

            "As Student Heads, it is your duty to enforce and reprimand younger students not following the rules. But note that you are also there as a responsible adult other than a teacher who a student may feel more comfortable relating to."

            There was a silence following this.

            "That is all you need to know. Any questions you would like to ask?" Dumbledore said when the silence had passed. 

            Lily shook her head and was on the edge of her seat, as though eager to get out there and start her new 'job' as a responsible figure. James looked uncomfortable. This was not something he had signed up for at all. 

            "Sir . . . two Gryffindors . . . I mean, has that even happened before?" asked James.

            Dumbledore turned slightly to the window. "It is – unusual shall we say, but yes. It has happened in the past."

            James looked highly disconcerted, as though there had been some sort of mistake.

            "Make no mistake, both of you, that you have stood out from the rest," he said, addressing both of them. "There are many others that could have been chosen. Lily, in your case, it was obvious. Grades, maturity, responsibility and more. James, the choice of you was neither more difficult nor demanding for me. I know you better than many of the Professors and know that no one else who would have saved someone who deeply regards him as an enemy, at the risk of his own life. That is not the only incident that made me choose you. Whilst your grades amongst your friends remain Outstanding, you have matured a great deal in the past year."

            As though this speech completely justified everything, a silence followed.

            "You may return to your classes," he said.

            Lily and James rose from the seats and went to the door. Lily had just left as Dumbledore called to James.

            "James," he said as James's hand was on the door. "I realise that this must come as a shock to you, but you must understand, I feel that you are more than capable of the role.  I know that you will make Gryffindor proud."

            James's throat was constricted; make Gryffindor proud? How on earth was he supposed to do that? "Yes, Sir, thanks," he said instead, and left.

* * * * * 

            To James's utmost surprise, Lily was waiting for him outside Dumbledore's office. She was wearing an unfathomable expression; he couldn't work out whether she looked angry or not, though he couldn't understand why she would be. 

            "You are _unbelievable,_" she said to start off with.

            James still didn't get it. "What?" he asked.

            "You have not behaved seriously since you arrived here, James Potter, and I can't believe that you just got that title!"

            James shrugged his shoulders and tried to look as though it was of no importance to him, but failed miserably. The fact that Dumbledore had trusted him with being Head Boy was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. "Yeah, well, I guess I possess certain . . . qualities."

            "I've worked for this for ages! And I still don't understand how you continue to get "Outstanding" in each of your OWL's and never seem to be working."

            James smiled. "Ah well, you see, Lily, I have more talents than you give me credit for."

            "Well, I think it's _absolutely_ . . . impressive." A change came over her expression and she looked as though she might smile. Her lip was twitching as though she desperately wanted to but thought better of it. "And I'd like to know what drug you're taking and how to supply me with some."

            James blanched. "Impressive?"

            "Yes. You manage to have fun and still become Head Boy?"

            "Well, I . . . I'm just . . ." James blinked several times, still getting over the fact that Lily found him impressive.

            But Lily never found out what James just was, as a voice came from up the stone steps behind them, ruining the small moment. 

            "Well well well. If it isn't Potter the amazing _Tree Survivor," _said Snape. His face held the look of total contempt; obviously he was not the only one surprised at Dumbledore's choice for Head Boy. However, Snape looked a lot less pleased about it than either Lily or James did.

            James did not answer, though he could think of a great deal of things he would have liked to say to Snape. The real James Potter would have had Snape upside-down in full view of everyone, in a great deal of pain. The James Potter people were asking him to be, would walk away. James did neither, yet regarded Snape with a cold glare.

            "So, it's Potty and the Mudblood that get the infamous titles, is it?"

            "That's right," snapped Lily. James had balled his fists in his pockets, itching to place them around Snape's neck. 

            "Bad choice, if you ask me. Dumbledore would have been better off choosing someone who can keep _order_," he put a delicate stress on the word, "around this place."

            "I know exactly what your idea of order is, Snape," said Lily. "And that's not what Dumbledore needs."

            "Oh, Mudblood, if only you knew what was coming," said Snape with an air of amusement. Snape turned to walk away, but James could not restrain himself. 

            "Her name," said James through clenched teeth, "is _Lily_."

            Snape walked slowly towards James, as though daring him to retaliate. "Then hex me, Potter. Or has Daddy Dumble told you not to?"

            James was about to pull his wand out of his pocket, which he had clutched so hard in his hand it was in danger of breaking, and give Snape a billion pus-filled green boils all over his body, but Lily put a hand on his arm behind his back, which Snape could not see. Snape sneered, obviously confident that the conversation had gone in his favour, turned and began to walk away.

            James took a deep breath and called, "Snivellus?" 

Snape stopped in his tracks, obviously not thinking that James would dare taunt him now in his _mature_ position. 

"Ten points from Slytherin for insulting the Head Girl."

Snape had no power to override James's authority, and this caused his skin to turn the colour of sour milk. His sneer became more pronounced and his eyes narrow.

"You remember what I said to you once, Potter, _all people who favour bravery over cleverness will end up dead_? It's surprising how true that is." His voice rang with harshness, so much so that it actually chilled James. Snape stalked away.

Lily narrowed her eyes after him. "He's changed," she said after a while.

"No, he hasn't," said James resentfully. "You just saw the non-existent good in him, is all."

Lily sighed. "I always used to wonder why you picked on him so much."

"Yeah?" asked James, still feeling a twinge of guilt.

"Yeah, now I think I understand."

James smiled sadly and looked at the floor. "Well, we did used to push him a bit, I s'pose, me and Sirius." 

Lily nodded and was silent. James knew what she was thinking.

"Listen. Don't ever pay attention to negative things people say to you. They're not true because there is nothing negative about you."

Lily looked at him, the word _Mudblood _still stinging slightly. His words, however, seemed to cool the taunt, like rain on skin.

"Well," said James on second thought. "Except perhaps your tendency to lose your temper."

Lily pushed him in the arm, but began to smile. "You're in danger of becoming sensitive, James," she said softly.

James chuckled. "Don't tell anyone."

"Not a soul," she said and flashed him a smile that made him go weak at the knees before turning on her heel and leaving him, unsteady now on his legs, in the corridor.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

A/N:* There you go! Is my fluffy becoming better do you think? Hmm, there's more action coming though! Don't worry all you die hard fans. Lol. I kind of imagine that the fact James becomes Head Boy and Snape doesn't has gotta bring up some jealousy? No? Aha . . . you shall have to wait my dear friends. Do you know what you can do until next time? Yes! The word beefy comes to mind once more . . . That's the one! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	15. In Total Confidence

**CHAPTER 15..:::::.. In Total Confidence**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, *wants to pull disclaimer apart and rip it limb from limb but then remembers that it has no physical presence*.

***A/N:** Hey everyone! Sorry, I was away for two days in Brighton! I'm still getting loads of comments about the Longbottoms! (Seriously guys, let it drop.) Lol. There is something I've noticed . . . no one has said anything about what I say in the first chapter. About the massive twist? It still holds true, you know! But not until right at the end. Haha, you shall just have to wait. Anyway . . . seriously people, the reviews? I LOVE THEM. I've got nearly 250 now so I'm extra happy. Love you all! Oh and I'm extra excited about writing two certain _bad asses_ in this chapter . . . **_Akira Gown_**, you finally get your wish . . . hehehe. 

Coolcatjenny: Thanks, I didn't really know how to write that one, but it came to me suddenly! Lol.

Akira Gown: Aha, Lily is in denial, as she knows she will eventually fall in love with James Potter no matter how he acts! This pisses her off somewhat (Don't ask me why, it would suit me just fine) Yeah; I loved doing that chess bit. Chuckled all the way! Morphmagus's, hmm, that was a fluke. I think it's just a different part of human transformations. And indeed, you spotted a glitch. The 1st years probably don't need guiding anymore! Sorry about that one. Don't worry too much about the lack of *beef*. I always look forwards to yours anyway.

Templa Otmena: Lol, *Rosie smiles and says she thinks it's excellent that Lou is a Good New Days junkie*. The whole Harry/Ron thing is exactly what I was trying to show with James and Lupin, ("guess it runs in the family"), as Harry can't play either! Ah yes. The rat. You really don't like him, do you?!

Vega Black: Lol keep your outbursts in young lady! I'm thinking if James grabbed Lily and kissed her against her will she would probably kill him. Or worse. Lol.

Fashiondiva: Now now, hanky panky is (ok not illegal for them now,) but must wait! Hmm, how can one subtly push Snape down a flight of stairs and make it look natural? Hmm. *ponders thoughtfully*.

PennyP: Well haha, you shall just have to wait and see!

Padfoot79: Hehe, don't worry I will! The "Snape-bashing" just popped into my head and I thought, I have to use that!

Szhismine: Huh? You want it to cause pain? JAMES BASHER!!! Lol only kidding. I'll see what I can do. Don't worry; James couldn't take Snape's crap for long, as "the real James Potter" would have retaliated and given him green pus-filled boils all over his sorry ass.

Wing Goddess: Ha, my drug is called "no more compulsory education and sitting on my arse all day". I'm sure you can purchase it from local drug stores once over sixteen. Lol.

Surge: I don't think there's anything "significant" about Marietta yet; I liked the name in OotP is all. Perhaps she was the Marietta in that's mother.

Drops-of-winter: Thanks; I'm sure James will find plenty of other people to tease (no kinkiness) . . . or duel with. Lol.

GoddessMoonlady: Yeah, Lily was a dead cert, but I'm sure Dumble had his reasons! Lol.

Steffie: Hi, glad you love my story; (I'm rather fond of it too, lol) And I'm sure that Lily will eventually follow her heart. ;)

Tigermouse: You realise that you have just given me a totally new challenge to arise to? Muhahaha I shall have to try and "out-write" this Crossroads story. I'll check it out all the same if you say it's good. Yeah, good old Dumble encouraging the romance . . . but perhaps they'll just think he's a dirty old man. Lol.

Miabubble: Hey all nighter. It was the grandparent Longbottoms that I meant. Voldemort doesn't just "appear" as he is at the height of power during Lily and James's adolescence. For some reason I always thought that the Prewits were older than Lily and James; (something they say in Book 4) and as he was pretty powerful, he killed them as they could already have been Aurors. As for this ^James^ fellow, however can you resist him if he has such an enticing name? Lol. Ha, I was worried and thought lots of people would just think that Dumbledore was just being a dirty old man! 

Inkling: Yeah, I love the name Marietta, so I thought she might be her mum or auntie or something. Lol. I'm not sure how long I can hold James off Snape . . . I love it when they fight, so it's more, *can Rosie stop hexing Snape*? Not James! Thanks for the review.

LauraLou: Lol, toggles are just what I call hair ties. I have no idea if anyone else calls them that, but that's how I think of them! Lol. I'm glad you're so excited with that chapter! It's so sweet that you care so much. Thanks so much.

Kat: Snape a crush on Lily? Hmm, I don't know; I don't think that's what JK would have done but who knows . . . I thought he has a kind of problem with Muggles, but he does change when he's an adult I suppose. Mind you, he is still a wanker to Harry, so death to him.

IloveVeggieTales: Hi, what is your name all about?! Lol. Thanks for the review!

Nathalee: Don't worry; I'm very vigilant with my updates! Lol.

Iannah: Ah, laziness is a sin, you know! Lol. Don't worry about it. Hope you like this one!

Snuffles: Aww, thank you! Well, it's mostly boredom, you see, and then good ideas come to me.

Anonymous Laura/Trembling Cheeks: Sorry, I've been in Brighton for 2 days with friends; desperately missing the writing, so here you are!

Darkdestiny: Hmm, maybe not Lily . . . but perhaps someone else???

*HITS PLAY*

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

          "HEAD BOY?" bellowed Sirius at lunchtime when James told them all. "You . . . Head . . . was he joking?"

         The others looked slightly amused at Sirius's indignation. Lupin clapped him on the back. "Well done, Prongs."

         "Of course he wasn't joking!" said James defensively. "He said, what was it, _you have too many of the qualities that Godric Gryffindor himself looked for in his students to ignore._ Those were his exact words," he added proudly.

         Peter seemed to be in awe. "Wow . . ." he said slowly.

         "Close your mouth, Wormtail, you look like a codfish," said Sirius distractedly, who still looked un-impressed. "James . . . what does this mean? That you can't . . . we can't . . ."

         "_Be together anymore?" _said Lupin jokingly dramatically.

         Everyone laughed except Sirius. "No," he snapped. "Be normal? Cause havoc? Wreak mayhem and complete destruction?"

         "Depends on what type of havoc and mayhem you mean, Padfoot," said James cunningly. "If you mean the type that draws a great deal of attention to ourselves then sadly, no. But if you mean the subtle art of doing it unnoticed, then yes. Nothing will change."

         Sirius's frown faded slightly as he threatened to smile. "Head Boy," he kept repeating. "And with Evans?"

         A true smile appeared on James's face. "Oh, yes."

         "Perfect opportunity there, Prongs," said Lupin. "Get to know her better."

         "I thought you were a shoe-in for Head Boy, Moony," said James, changing the subject as Lily was not sitting far from them, chatting happily to her two best friends, seemingly unaware that James's eyes were upon her for the hundredth time that day. "I mean, Prefect, good grades, maturity, never smacked Snivellus once –"

         "Werewolf," reminded Lupin sadly.

         "So? We're all Animagi," Wormtail added quietly, "What's the difference?" 

         "Well, Dumbledore doesn't know about that, does he?" said Sirius. "On that subject, have any of you done McGonagall's essay on Morphmagus's?"

There was a chorus of 'yes's' and Sirius sighed.

"Guess I'll be spending the whole night in the library then."

Peter half-smiled and continued the previous conversation. "Can you imagine how much trouble we'd be in if anyone found out . . ."

Lupin turned quickly to James to change the subject. It pained him to think about how they, _he, _was betraying Dumbledore's trust when he had been shunned most of his life after being cursed with the bite of a werewolf.

         "Seriously, Prongs, I'm really pleased for you. I think it's excellent."

         Peter still hadn't closed his small, mean mouth. "Me too! I never thought I'd have a friend who was Head Boy! It's just so . . . "

         Peter broke off and a silence followed this as the others turned to look at him, giving him strange looks as though he had said something stupid. 

         "Well, I mean, you two are great too," he added hurriedly and continued to eat his potatoes. "So what else did Dumbledore say?" he said, trying to change the subject hastily. 

         James seemed eager to talk about it some more. "Oh, you'll love this, Sirius. He said Lily and I would make a fantastic pairing. In _more _ways than one."

         Lupin looked astonished. "He actually said that?"

         James screwed up his mouth. "In so many words. Something about looking at a different kind of pairing."

         They chuckled. "I'll bet Lily loved that," said Sirius, glancing over to her at the other end of the table, sitting with Marietta and Arabella. Lily as looking very happy with herself; Sirius expected that that had something to do with her new title as Head Girl.

         "Actually, she said me becoming Head Boy was impressive and almost stuck up for me when Snape came along."

         "I still can't believe you let him get away with that," said Sirius disbelievingly. "The old Prongs would have –"

         "Can we all stop talking about the old and new Prongs?"

         The others laughed, knowing he was not liking the change that had since come over him. 

         "Impressive, eh?" said Lupin, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Well, I think what's happening is obvious."

         James looked at him, as did Sirius. Wormtail was still concerned with his potatoes, mashing them and putting them clumsily into his small mouth, missing now and again so that they fell with a soft '_frump_' on his plate.

         "Well, she's beginning to like the more mature you."

         "I'm not," said James resentfully. "But I can overlook that."

         "Yes," Lupin went on, "But once she begins to like you, you can subtly change back, and by that time she should still like you anyway."

         "That's a great theory," said Sirius thoughtfully. "Maybe I can change." This statement was so ridiculous that it was ignored by all of them and only earned significantly amused looks as they continued their lunch on a different subject that they could all get involved in. Quidditch. 

* * * * * 

         A tall man with pale hair and a sharp, pointed face stood in the shadows of an old house. It was a dank and dark place; the walls were of stone, emitting a coldness that even chilled the air. There were red carpets hung on the wall to keep out the cold, but these were since patched and frayed at the edges, not really doing their jobs. Many portraits of old wizards and witches hung on the wall; the largest one was that of Salazar Slytherin, his closed, dark expression very fitting in its location. This house had once belonged to a woman called Ivy Riddle, where she had stayed since the split from her Muggle lover, Thomas Riddle who had abandoned her when her true identity as a witch had been exposed. Now, her son resided in it. But this was not the tall man with the critical face and cold grey eyes.

The man shifted from one foot to another, trying to keep the circulation in his feet going. He had been stood here for a long time, waiting to be seen by his superior. He was not nervous; nervousness was an illusion created by weaker men who indulged themselves in the useless emotion of fear. Lucius Malfoy was above such emotions. They made a man weak. Better to keep things simple in situations like this. 

Just as he began to ponder on the point of emotions, a high cold voice echoed out through the closed door in front of him. "_Come in," _it hissed.

Malfoy obliged, and pushed it open. 

"Welcome, Lucius," hissed the chilling voice of Lord Voldemort from a chair turned away from Malfoy of which he could only see the back of. "I trust you have not been waiting long . . ."

"Oh, no my Lord, not long at all."

"It is true, Lucius, that we have only met a few times since you have –_wisely_ – made the decision of joining the Dark Side, yet already I feel that I can trust you." 

"Thank you, my Lord, you are most gracious."

"Tell me, how is Narcissa?" he asked slowly. "It seems I have not seen her for an age. She must be twenty-two now, correct?"

Lucius nodded, slowly, not really aware of why Voldemort was asking these questions. "Yes, my Lord. She is very well, and sends the warmest compliments to you."

"And Bellatrix? Engaged to Julius Lestrange now, is it so?" he said, a hint of pride in his voice.

"Yes, my Lord. They expect to be married in a year from now."

"Ah, my dear friend, Julius. Bella could not have found a better match, I am thinking. A truly powerful couple, we have there, Lucius. It is only a shame that her dear cousin does not see things so like she does. But, as I suppose, he is young, and easily persuaded, as his father was. . ."

A silence followed this. "M – my Lord?" prodded Lucius cautiously.

Voldemort nodded, almost nostalgically. "How I love my family. My _true_ family," he said, an emphasis on the word. "But anyway, I do apologise my friend, for getting sentimental. I summoned you here because I feel that you can be of use to me."

Lucius swelled. "I only hope I can, Master."

"Is it so, that you were attending Hogwarts School at the time when Albus Dumbledore was Headmaster?" 

Lucius nodded and frowned at the name of Dumbledore. "Yes, my Lord."

"And so you knew him well?"

"Fairly well, yes, however I never agreed with his policies regarding Muggles, my Lord." 

Voldemort needed again. "Yes, yes . . . of course, I was also at Hogwarts, when Dumbledore was a mere Transfiguration teacher, did you know? He never trusted me, but I suppose he did have his reasons. Little did he know that I would grown and become the greatest and most powerful sorcerer in the word!" 

"And you are, Master, you are," said Lucius, faithfully, hoping to gain points.

"So, Lucius, as you and I have that little matter in common, concerning our education, I wish you to help me to best plan how to take over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is the next step; once I have overthrown Albus Dumbledore, who would dare defy me then?"

"No one, Master," said Malfoy. 

"Exactly. My Death Eaters continue to grow in size, there are many in the Ministry of Magic who are now on the Dark side and continue to aid me into complete power there, we have alliances with the giants and the trolls and more magical creatures that I will not name, and there are only two or three wizarding villages left in this magical community that are not on the _right _side. Of course, we have much work to do abroad, of course, but my dear friend Macnair is taking care of that."

Silence followed this once more, and Lucius felt the need to speak about a matter he had heard tell of. "My Lord, may I ask . . . The Prophecy. Are you at all concerned?" 

"_No_," said Voldemort quickly. "It has not been long since it has been made, we can find out soon enough what it concerns. I will take care of it, make no mistake."

"But my Lord, it could prove vital to our . . ."

"There is nothing now that can stop us, Lucius. Nothing except perhaps Dumbledore. The Prophecy is of little consequence at the moment."

Lucius knew he should not push a matter with Voldemort, but found it difficult to conceal what he knew would be imprudent to neglect. "But my Lord, it would be foolish to overlook . . ."

"Lucius, I have just begun to like you. Do not turn the tables," said Voldemort softly, and Lucius did not speak out of turn once more during the whole meeting.

* * * * * 

         Due to her unexpected nap in Transfiguration the other day, it seemed that Lily had a great deal more of homework to do than usual. She had decided to do McGonagall's essay in the library as the Common room was bound to be full. She hadn't seen James all day; a thought that was beginning to plague her more and more often. It must have been fairly late; there was only a few stragglers left in the dimly candlelit library, bent tiredly over parchment and faces screwed up in frowns. The ink Lily was dipping her quill in was almost all used up; she had almost finished anyway. It wasn't a huge deal if she only had a few more lines left to do, and besides, she wasn't filling up a bottle of ink for one or two lines.

         Marietta and Arabella had no doubt already finished the essay, but with hurried work came errors, and Lily wasn't big on errors. She wondered if James had done it. _What does it matter if he has or hasn't? _she asked herself. Not thinking about him would have been so much easier for her if he hadn't changed. But he had, and she had to take that into account. Had he changed for _her_? Lily had never thought about whether or not she would give him the time of day if he were more mature. It had always been very simple. _"Lily, will you go out with me?" "No." _She had never considered if she would have said yes long ago had things been different. They probably wouldn't, of course; Lily had said no to every other person, why should James have been any different? He had been an arrogant, fat headed troublemaker back then. Was he still? True, she knew that if Severus Snape ever aggravated him, he would retaliate, but did that mean that he was still the same person? The same person that showed off when ever she or any other good-looking girl was around? The same person who continuously rumpled their hair to make it look as though he had just got off his broomstick and hexed anyone who annoyed him just because he could . . . Lily was almost smiling. _Why? You hated him like that! _She thought. 

         As if on cue, Sirius came strolling into the library, leaving Lily feeling almost guilty about thinking about James and automatically looked frantically around to hide whatever it was that was making her feel like a criminal, but obviously, she could not hide what was in her mind. Sirius was looking haughty and bored, a book under his arm, looking as though the library was the very last place he wanted to be. He spotted Lily in a few seconds, getting up from her chair and gathering her bag. He smiled genuinely, and she felt herself half-returning it.

         "Evans!" he bellowed for everyone to hear. Lily tried to shush him with actions, but it was obvious that Sirius didn't come to the library very often. Madame Pince hurried over looking scandalised. 

         "What do you think this is, boy? A circus?"

         Sirius looked for a second as though that was exactly what he thought the library was and that Madame Pince was the chief clown, but he contained himself and tried to look validly sorry. She bustled away, looking moody once more. Lily looked down to his book.

         "So this is your secret? You study by night to get your O's on everything?"

         Sirius chucked. "Hardly. I haven't been in here since first year. What are you doing here anyway?"

         "Work. That's usually what you do here, Black, work or read." This was meant to be sarcastic, but it was lost on Sirius, who was king of sarcasm. He just smiled.

         "Told James the truth yet?" he asked casually, changing subject at the speed of light.

         Lily sighed deeply. "Oh, for Merlin's Sake, not you as well."

         "Ah, so your friends find it as obvious as everyone else, do they?" he said, amused.

         Lily made to walk straight past him, not in the mood for this type of conversation when he tutted.

         "Look, Lily, I know we're not the best of friends, _yet_, but from where I'm standing? It looks like you need to decide what you want."

         Lily stopped and looked at Sirius warily. "You, giving out advice on relationships?"

         Sirius smirked. "I can be surprisingly sensitive, you know." He looked around. "You can talk to me, if you want. I swear James wouldn't hear any of it. It'd be in total confidence."

         Lily snorted. "Yeah, right, and you'll stop taunting Snape." 

         Sirius looked mildly insulted. "Fine. Bottle up your feelings. I don't care. All I know is that it's making the pair of you miserable and it's starting to get on my nerves."

         Lily walked for the door, but stopped with her hand on the bronze handle, contemplating leaving the library and this subject behind her. Her emotions got the better of her. He was right; it _was _making her miserable. What was the harm in talking about it? But with the person in question's best friend? Sirius Black at that? It was foolish . . . but necessary.  

         "I don't know what to say," she said finally, still with her back to him. "He probably tells you everything that goes on anyway. There's no point in me discussing it with you."

         "Look, Lily, OK. He does tell me a lot, but it's only me. It's not like he airs it around the school or anything. I _am _his best friend. It's not like you don't tell your friends anything, do you?"

         Lily turned. "That's different!" 

         "Why?" he asked, perplexed.

         "Because girls have a tendency to discuss things of a sensitive nature more than – "

         "OK, OK, woman language again. Don't explain, it'll only give me a headache."

         "You know, Sirius, the fact that you wrote that first letter is becoming more than apparent every time I talk to you."

         Sirius smirked. "So you found James's letter more mature, did you?"

         "Yes. I mean no! I mean . . ."

         "You haven't got a clue what you mean, do you?"

         Lily turned away. "I don't have to discuss this with you," she said abruptly.

         "You already are," Sirius reminded her. "Look, I know I don't know you very well, and I know I'm not exactly the prime agony aunt when it comes to women's problems, but I do know James. And I know that he's mad about you."

         Lily turned back. "He's got a funny way of showing it," she said quietly.

         "Has he? Hasn't he shown it enough in both senses? Being immature and mature?"

         Lily was silent for a second.

         "He changed for you Lily. Believe it or not, if he'd never met you, he'd probably still be the king of the women, immature prankster of the school. Then you showed up. He's changed, and I'm not saying I like it; in fact, I thought it was better when he was a prat like me."

         "He is still a prat," she said in a small voice, knowing she was losing the argument.

         "Lily, he's a seventeen year old in love. Of course he's still a prat. But now he's a toned down prat. And if what it takes for you to finally accept your own feelings, which by the way are painfully obvious to everyone that isn't you, is for him to have a complete personality makeover, then I'm afraid you may as well move on."

         Lily was so stunned by this statement that she sat down in one of the library chairs. Sirius, thinking that this was a cue to further pursue the situation, sat down also.

         There was a silence, and Sirius prodded. "Well?"

         "I don't know." She was slightly angry; here was Sirius Black, a person she had before the beginning of the year, despised almost as much as James Potter, giving her a lecture about her feelings. Her temper was dangerously near to boiling point. 

         "What don't you know?"

She said nothing.

"I know you like him. It's so obvious that –"

         "YES! OK, I like him! There, are you happy now?" she said very quickly and angrily, hands in the air.

         Sirius leant back in his chair, Lily obviously expecting a snort of laughter, but none came. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

         Lily sighed and looked away. "You're just going to run and tell him all of this anyway."

         Sirius looked gave her a furtive glance. "Not if you get there first."

         "Now why on earth would I want to do that?" she said disdainfully.

         "Well, it would stop you moping around for one, and I know he might actually shut up about it for a few seconds which would be a mercy to all of the Marauder's ears, I can tell you that."

         "Marauders? Why do you call yourselves that?" She tried not to sound too curious, but failed miserably.

         Sirius winked and tapped his finger to his nose.

         "Oh come on, if you won't tell me that, what are those nicknames all about? _Pronged_, or something, or _Spoony_. It's been going on since fifth year, and if there's something I should know . . ."

         "Well, I'm sure that James would tell you eventually if you gave him a reason to."

         "Look. I'm Head Girl –"

         "He's Head Boy."

         Lily blinked. She had forgotten that. "That's another thing! How was he Head Boy?"

         Sirius sniggered silently. "Well, obviously Dumbledore thinks you make a _fantastic pairing_."

         Lily sighed and turned away again. Was there anything that James didn't tell him? Well, now she thought about it, Sirius hadn't mentioned that night in St. Mungo's, or the _moment _in the common room. Perhaps he didn't tell him everything. "So why do you care so much anyway?" she said finally.

         "James is like a brother," he said a little quieter.

         Lily snorted. "Don't you have a brother of your own?"

         Sirius suddenly looked uncomfortable, almost like for a change, this was a subject that he was not totally comfortable with. ""My family are . . . kind of – well. They're not my family."

         Lily felt bad all of a sudden. Seeking out a weak spot in the famously cocky Sirius Black wasn't something she was overly joyous about; it proved he was only human. As James was. 

"I'm sorry –" she said after a few seconds.

         Sirius shook his head. "Don't be. I ran away because they think that only one type of wizard blood matters. I didn't agree. So I went."

         "Just like that?"

         Nodding, he said, "James took me in. His family've been so kind. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else."

         Lily blushed. This wasn't something she had been banking on hearing about; the goodness of James Potter.

         "If it hadn't been for him, I'd still be back there with my mother. James has got a way of making you feel wanted – I suppose that would apply to you as well."

         Lily sighed deeply, finally coming to terms with the fact that she had admitted she had feelings for him. To Sirius and to herself. There was a pause until Sirius spoke. 

         "Look, I don't know what kind of bad time you've had in the past, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'd be perfectly safe with James. He adores you. Just give him the chance to show it."

         Lily looked up. "I don't know what he wants from me."

         "He wants you to be honest with him so that he can be there for you. Lily, he's been trying to get you since first year. He's just never figured out a way of telling you besides asking you out."

         Lily suppressed a smile. "He's certainly done that enough times."

         Sirius laughed. "Yeah, but it took you long enough to figure it out for yourself."

         Lily was silent and thoughtful. "What should I do?" she asked, very new at the whole thing and feeling slightly silly for asking.

         Sirius leaned forwards. "Tell him."

         "Tell him what?" 

         "The truth."

         Lily sighed, not liking the solution to this problem that she had been debating with all week. Now that someone she thought that she had always disliked was telling her a logical solution, she was scared to take it so readily. James would be up in the dormitory right now; she could go and tell him . . . _what? Hi James, oh and by the way? I have feelings for you too._ She could imagine the look on his face. He would probably pass out. Sirius was watching her expression, waiting for an answer.

         "It's the only way," he said after a minute. "I'm going to leave this homework, because I know it all anyway, and I'm going to go to bed. I'm not going to say anything to James, or anyone, and you can follow me up later if you want. It's your choice, Lily."

         He stood up, book still under his arm, and turned to walk through the open door to the left. 

         "Sirius?" said Lily before the dim lighting of the corridor engulfed him.

         "Hmm?" he muttered, turning back.

         "Thanks," she said feebly as he nodded, walking away. 

         Lily sat for perhaps half an hour, not even glancing at the book open in front of her, before the candles in the library were slowly extinguished. She had made up her mind about what she was going to do before she had even gathered her things and risen from the chair, making for the common room.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

A/N:*  I know, I know. Sorry, another cliffhanger. I do love the suspense. You gotta give me credit for wanting to keep you involved! Anyway, enough of that. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	16. Unhinged

**CHAPTER 16..:::::.. Unhinged **

**Disclaimer: ***Yawns*. I. *Yawns*. Own. *Yawns*. Nothing. * Yawns wider *.

***A/N: **Hey guys and all my fellow insane people. Aha a few comments on the massive twist; no one is even close yet . . . you shall have to hold your Hippogriffs. I have a confession; I made a mistake! Argh, I said Julius Lestrange, because I couldn't remember the name, but someone reminded me it was Rodolphus, (Julius was the closest I could get and hey, they both end in 'us' anyhow,) so now if I mention him again, (which I shall in this chappie, *Muhahaha*) just pretend I said Rodolphus all along. *Blushes and begs for forgiveness*. 

**Fashiondiva:** *Rosie accepts ribbon wrapped credit willingly*. Aha, you have many good ideas for a stair-falling Snape. Liking them all. The invisible banana peel is most apeeeeeling. Lol. Get it? Appealing?! 

**Coolcatjenny:** Ah, *Rosie accepts your insanity with open arms* sorry her denial wasn't mega long or anything, but you see, I'm doing it all, so if I dragged it out too long, it would be like 40 odd chapters!

**Lelegurl19:** Yeah, I couldn't wait to do Lily and Sirius. Glad you liked it!

**Templa Otmena**: Wow that was sehr beefy! And yes, I did get it. Three times. Lol. Just for some reason, none of them are showing up on the site. It says I have like nearly 300 reviews, but none of them are visible except in my inbox. Glad you like it so much. Argh! I had never thought about the whole silver arm thing! Perhaps JK will kill off Lupin! ARGH!!! That would be horrid as I have a very soft squiggly spot for old Remus. AND he's the last of the Marauders as Peter turned out to be a - *swears unprintably*. In my thinking, the prophecy has got to be known about quite a while before Lily and James get together, even if it's not made yet, in the wizarding world there's always ways of finding these things out, especially if you are Voldie … so gradually they put together pieces of what it is; that's why Voldie isn't overly worried about it at the moment; cos at the moment, (in book5) he doesn't hear all of it, does he? He just knew that a prophecy had been made about him and the baby born in July to parents who thrice defied him and that the baby would be his downfall, which is why he tried to kill them in the first place.

**PennyP:** Don't worry; as I'm doing the whole up until their deaths, it's pretty definite that something will happen with Lily and James!

**Szhismine:** Lol, *Rosie acknowledges that szhismine loves James* angst is great; I love it too. Aha, Snape does still exist doesn't he? Oh well.

**George is Hot-MrsMoony:** Aha, you shall have to wait and see! *Personally I call Voldie Lord Chuckles*.

**meLissa:** Hey don't panic! Love until death, remember? Ages yet!

**LauraLou:** Lol is that all you can say? Well in that case, : ) to you too.

**GoddessMoonlady: **Lol, I bargain better with chocolate! Lol. Ahh, if he passes out do you reckon she'll carry him up2 bed?! Lol. *Winks mischievously*.

**Uh . . .:** Argh! I couldn't remember his name! I knew it wasn't Julius but thought that were as close as I could get to the name! Well, it sounds sort of similar; but yeah, thanks for reminding me!

**Kat:** Lol, any romanticism is good, even hopeless! Perhaps you're right!

**Kari: **Hi, thanks for the review; this is only my opinion and hey it's not great, but I'll give it to you. I think Sirius persuaded them to choose Peter because everyone would have thought that it would have been Sirius. Voldie and everyone knew that they were best friends and I think in book 3 Sirius says, "Never thought they'd have used a weak talentless thing like you" but Lupin says "you switched without telling me" so I think Sirius was their Secret Keeper before, but then realised that it was too obvious and so switched to Peter. A decoy indeed. Anyway, that's how I see it. 

**Cheeky Girl:** Don't worry; if I don't write, I go mad.

**KaitouFoxFire:** I always thought that Bella was a few years older than Sirius; don't know why, but I did. Romulus would be his twin if I were doing it exactly as the myth! But let's just say that his parents were very into the ancient Greeks. Lol.

**Miabubble: **Ginger hair eh? Hmm, not sure about blokes like that … but ginger hair on girls is fine *dares anyone to disagree*, thanks for the review. I do try. Lol. 

*****HITS PLAY*****

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

            Sirius lay on his side, eyes closed but not really asleep. He was seeing odd pictures on the back of his eyelids; the way you do when you have had too much going on in the day to be properly relaxed, but horribly tired all the same. Lupin was asleep, silent as usual as was Wormtail, occasionally sniggering shrilly for no apparent reason, indulged in a random dream. There was more breathing that came from a few others in the dormitory that the Marauders did not usually associate with, and this only made Sirius conscious of his own breathing. James was still downstairs, having lied about doing his Transfiguration essay. Hopefully, Lily would come up and tell him the truth. It'd be nice if they went out. _Yes_, he thought, _I've done a good deed today, _thinking that at last, he had made a friend with Lily Evans, which, if she was eventually honest with James, could prove useful. He heard the dormitory door band shut, knowing that it would be Lily and, at last, hopefully, his friend could be happy.

* * * * * 

            James had indeed lied to the rest about doing his essay; Head Boys never got behind in homework after all, and he knew that it would only take him a few minutes. Transfiguration along with Defence Against the Dark Arts was easily his best subject. His eyes pored over the text in front of him and he translated it into his own language. _Morphmagus's are a very rare breed of human beings which are easily penetrated by the stronger breed of wizard yet must also be treated cautiously as they possess powers amongst the strongest of the magical community and can become any object they wish at will . . . _James sighed. _So basically, they're like unicorns, _he said in his head. His small handwriting was rushed and scrawled slightly as he attempted to cramp it all onto one piece of parchment. He knew that Lupin and Wormtail had probably spent hours on it, but he didn't need to. 

            Just as he was about to dip his quill in the inkpot to write his final sentence, he heard the portrait door swing back. Who could that be? Sirius was the last person out and he had come back about ten minutes ago. A figure emerged through the shadows and his heart leapt in his chest as he saw it was Lily. She wore an expression that he couldn't quite fathom; she looked almost . . . _nervous _– as though she were steeling herself for something.What was that all about? However, these thoughts were lost on him as her eyes blazed from beneath a curtain of long dark and thick red hair, curling at the shoulders. 

            "Lily," he said, greeting her as maturely as he possibly could in his most pleasant voice that he had since been practicing on Sirius. 

            "Hello," she said in a small tone. 

            James pushed his chair back and stood up. "So – what were you doing out now? I thought I was the only one up."

            "Yeah well, I was in the library doing . . . that." She signalled to the almost finished essay on the polished mahogany table behind him. "I had extra, you see. Sirius was there as well, but he left."

            "You saw Sirius? Did – he didn't say anything to you, did he?" he asked disconnectedly. 

            "Well – actually, he did," she said evenly.

            "He . . . he did?"

            "Yes. And I'm almost – almost _glad_ he did," she said, stepping forwards and taking a deep breath. It was now or never. There was no one else around to hear, Sirius's words still rang clear in her mind, '_he adores you. Just give him a chance to show it'. _Right. _Give him a chance_, she kept thinking.

            "Well, what did he say?" asked James, not really sure that he wanted to know the answer. 

            Lily sighed and started pacing once more. It was very reminiscent of the time when she had told him that she didn't trust herself with him. She knew what she had to say, but didn't want to be standing still when she did it. Anyone watching from outside would have thought it an amusing scene. 

            "He – he made me realise some things that I didn't want to realise."

            James swallowed, mouth dry. "And – and wha . . . what were they?"

            Lily seemed to be following the same pattern; she kept taking deep breaths and swallowing. It was as though they both knew what was being said but neither wanted it to be said aloud. "Sirius seemed to think that I had feelings – for you."

            James turned away. "Oh did he now? Well I think Sirius should keep his nose out of –"

            "No, we talked for quite a long time. I just – I want to be sure, James, that . . . I . . ."

            "That you what?" James suddenly realised. It had taken him long enough, as her mere presence was enough to send his brain into limbo but now he knew how difficult it must be for her to say this to him. He didn't know what to do; should he say it for her? No, that would only make her more uncomfortable. Should he act like he wasn't that bothered? No, that would be immature, and besides, he _was_ bothered. Very bothered. 

            "Lily, look. I –"

            "Don't interrupt me, please, I just want to say . . ." she talked over him, "That I . . ."

            "I know," he saved.

            Lily blinked. "You – you do?"

            James chuckled. "Of course I do. You don't have to say anything, Lily." James moved slowly towards Lily as she inhaled sharply. James wasn't really sure what exactly he was going to do when he stopped in front of her. This kind of thing was usually so easy for him. At least, it had been a year or so ago; he would walk up to girls, tell them they were beautiful regardless of the fact of whether or not they actually were, watch them go all giggly and weak at the knees, and then kiss them. Here was Lily, making all his dreams come true, about to say the very thing he had wanted her to for seven years . . . he was _not _going to mess this up. It was different. She _was _beautiful; it seemed pointless to say it aloud. 

            "What are you doing?" she asked him. This had never happened to her before. 

            James faltered. "I – I'm not sure." And he really _wasn't_ sure. 

            Lily began to speak very quickly. "Look, this is probably very easy for you, James Potter, I bet that this has been your master plan since the beginning, hasn't it? Become a little bit more mature, stop being so arrogant, not go out with any girls for a few months – Lily Evans, that moody one, ought to like you eventually surely? Now she does! Must be so easy now, like a cat in the bag! You've done this loads of times – too many times! But I haven't! And I don't like it!"

            James knew that he had to stop her talking, or she would surely talk herself out of this situation within seconds. Sure enough, she went on.

            "I mean, what was I thinking? I'd just tell you the truth and everything would work out perfectly? Some sort of solution would just . . . just fly through the window like a paper aeroplane?"

"What's a –"

"Because, being realistic, how could Lily Evans ever have feelings for James Potter? _Just be honest, _well it's easy for Sirius to say that, isn't it? But I can't just go around and say stupid things that I haven't even thought through and just think that they'll turn out all right!"

            "Shh, Lily, please, just . . . just stop talking for a second –"

            "Don't you _shh _me! You can't just stand there, pretending you know how I feel after I've made a complete fool of myself declaring something that I don't even know about and expect me to –"

            James then did something both brave, and rather foolish. He kissed her. James had never kissed someone like this before; like her really meant it. It only lasted a few seconds, but it had the exact effect that James had been banking on. She stopped talking as he drew back and looked at him with not angry eyes; it was surprise. Perhaps it was suppressed anger and she would explode in a few seconds. James steeled himself for a slap or something worse. A hex from Lily Evans these days could be quite damaging. None came. Instead she just looked genuinely surprised, transfixed. 

            Lily was stunned. Her first kiss – from James Potter. She couldn't have moved or spoken if she'd wanted to; but she didn't really want to. She didn't know what to say. 

            James broke the ice. "Sorry … Um – are you mad?"

            "Yes … "

            James looked thoughtful. "Shall … shall I do it again?"

            " … Yes."

            And he did, hoping that she might just kiss him back.

)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(

             "What are your orders, my Lord?" asked Bellatrix Lestrange a few days before, previously Bellatrix Black, but now married to Rodolphus. 

            Voldemort smirked at the woman in front of him; she had a handsome face with a pale complexion, full of life with maliciously glinting black eyes. "My dearest Bella, are you up to a challenge?" he had said.

            "For you, my Lord, anything," she said bowing slightly. 

            "I need to know more about Hogwarts. I have – extracted– information from dear Lucius, but I am afraid that it is not enough. I desire you and Rodolphus to enter the school and tell me all you can about the structure. My memory, although perfect as ever, is useless in this regard as I am sure that since the schoolboy that Dumbledore once knew turned into the most dangerous and most powerful sorcerer in the world, he will have made some changes."

            "Indeed, my Lord, you are most knowledgeable," she said, not a trace of fear in her voice at what Voldemort was asking her to do.

            "So it shall be, Bella, that you enter Hogwarts, _whilst all are sleeping_ mind, as soon as possible so I can better prepare my plan. You are to be very careful, for if you are detected by Albus Dumbledore … Well. I do not need to say. Many other Death Eaters would beg me for this job you realise . . . "

            "Yes, yes my Lord, you are most gracious …" Bellatrix shifted uncomfortably, as though she desperately wanted to ask a question.

            "Yes?" asked Voldemort, almost lazily.

            "My Lord, as I am sure you have reasons, may … may I ask … why you do not wish to see for yourself the layout of Hogwarts? It may prove … easier for the attack if you were to see it with your own eyes …"

            "My dear Bella, undoubtedly beautiful you are, you are not as intelligent as immediately perceived." 

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes in irritation as Voldemort turned away momentarily. Although she had great respect and a wary fear for the Dark Lord, she did not like being insulted.

"It would be extremely foolish for me to wander into Hogwarts openly under the nose of the Muggle loving fool, Albus Dumbledore who has hundreds of Aurors at only a second's notice away. It is true I have powers of great stealth, but an invasion such as this needs careful planning. I wish to know more before an all-out-attack. Is that so irrational?"

            "Oh, no my Lord, forgive me … I only wish the best for your plans …"

            "I am aware of that, Bella. Alert Rodolphus to the plan. You are aware of the plan?"

She nodded, eager to go and do it.

"You may go."

            Bellatrix bowed her way out, shutting the door behind her with a bump. 

)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(

            _Thud . . . thud . . . thud . . . _Lily and James broke apart simultaneously. They had both heard it and one glance at each other told them that neither of them was hearing things – the noise was real. _Thud . . . thud . . . thud . . ._there it was again – like a dull, irregular tapping somewhere close – like footsteps trying to be as quite as possible.

            "What is that?" said Lily, nearly fearful. 

            James held up his hand to silence her. "Shhh," . . . _thud . . . thud . . ._ "It sounds like footsteps."

            Lily looked around, as though the source of the sound was in the room. "Do you think it might be – someone late up to bed?"

            James shook his head. "On your way up here … did you see anyone? Anyone at all?"

            Lily thought for a second. "N … no, I don't think so. Madame Pince shut up the library at midnight, and there was no one else anywhere."

            "Be sure, Lily," he said, panic rising. _Thud … thud … thud …_ it was almost as though they were drawing nearer.

"Well, yes. I'm sure."

James moved slowly to the portrait door, knowing that in order to find the source of noise, he would have to go through it. 

Lily suddenly clutched his arm. "James … you don't think it's … it's not _him, _is it?"

"I don't know, but we're Heads at least. If someone's sneaking around, we should know about it, don't you agree?"

Lily knew that he was just saying that to use it so that she would come with him, but he had a point. "Yes, OK then. But … shouldn't we get someone?"

"Lily, this is what Head Girls do!" he said, almost amused at her change of heart. 

She looked at him, and nodded. As they moved to the portrait door, there was a tinge of embarrassment in the air from what had occurred only moments before, but it was lost as they pushed open the door and stepped outside. The Fat Lady who guarded Gryffindor Tower was not there – perhaps off on some night time wandering, but Lily knew that it would have made her feel better if she could have asked her if she'd seen anybody. The same thought seemed to occur to James.

"Wonder where Fatty's gone," he said.

They moved slowly down the corridor that lead to the entrance to the Common Room, trading carefully, wands at the ready. James was in the lead, behaving slightly braver than he was feeling. There had been some more news about Voldemort's attacks; only last week he had murdered a band of Goblins who refused to join his side along with a few others of their creed. The day later, another family had come home to find the Dark Mark lingering over their rooftops … Maybe it _was _him … maybe he had ultimately taken the final step, in taking over Hogwarts. _But it'd be silly for him to come here himself, _thought James, _even with a few Death Eaters. Maybe it's something else._ No sooner had he thought this, another noise made him jump. _Creak … _a door was opening. James grabbed Lily's arm and pushed her against the wall. Again, there was a close proximity between them, but it was lost with the potential seriousness of the situation. 

After a few seconds, they looked at each other and nodded, peering around the corner. What they saw was a frightening sight. Two brooms were rolling, quite of their own accord, through the open door at the end of the corridor. It was as though they were attached by invisible strings, like Muggle puppets did on shows. Lily had seen a few of these in her childhood, but even then they had frightened her. The brooms stopped rolling, Lily and James unable to look away, and stood up on their ends, simultaneously. Then, before their very eyes, the brooms disappeared in a flash of silent light, and in their place were left two shimmering yellow clouds of dust. Just as soon as they had gathered, two shapes began to take form from the dust and disperse. The shapes turned into figures of a man and a woman. James's heart contracted with fear as he saw whom it was. 

A woman with long black hair and a pale, almost electric face was straightening up; James had seen Bellatrix Black only once before, but once was enough. He could never forget her face, or her manner or the way she saw things; if you weren't pureblood then you didn't deserve life. Sirius had described her as quite mad. The man next to her had a gaunt looking face, with shortly cropped ginger hair; it had none of the radiance of Lily's but looked rather washed out and faded. It had to be her husband that Sirius had told him of. As of a year or two ago, James had been warned that they were two of Voldemort's most faithful and dangerous Death Eaters. 

James whipped his head back as fast as possible, leaning against the wall, breathing hard. 

"What is it?" Lily mouthed very quietly. 

James blinked and looked at her. "It's – it's Sirius's cousin … Bellatrix Lestrange with her husband."

Lily opened her mouth in horror. "How do you know?" she asked fearfully.

"I've seen her before," said James. "We have to get out of here – we have to tell someone … Dumbledore … he's got to Apparate here as soon as possible."

Lily shook her head. "You cannot Apparate or Dissaperate inside Hogwarts; it's in Hogwarts: a History … but then how did they get in?"

James chanced another look; they were only forty feet away. "They're Morphmagus's. They have to be."

Lily wore an expression of final understanding. "Both of them?"

James nodded. It seemed so unlikely, yet it was the only solution. Suddenly, they heard hushed voices. James held a finger to his lips and listened as the voice of Bellatrix Lestrange came in a hushed tone. 

"Is it safe like this?"

"Of course, my dear, the entire castle is asleep. We saw no one."

"Rodolphus, if Dumbledore catches us …"

"Hush, Bella, how exactly do you expect us to function correctly as a couple of store cupboard brooms?" 

James was horrified as he thought he heard the trace of a snigger from Bellatrix; how could this be a funny situation, for either party? They were walking closer, now only twenty feet away. They had to move …_ now. _

He beckoned to Lily to follow as he moved around the bookcase as quietly as possible. A horrid realisation struck him as they drew to the portrait door, intending to use the fire in the Common Room to get to Dumbledore's office … the Fat Lady was not there. How on earth were they supposed to get in? How were they supposed to get away? The footsteps were drawing nearer … _thud … thud … thud._

"_James!"_ Lily hissed, terrified. 

James grabbed her hand and dragged her to the other side of the bookcase, hoping Bellatrix and Rodolphus would go straight past them, unnoticed. Then he and Lily could double back to the door at the end of the corridor. His heart almost stopped beating in his chest as he heard Rodolphus's voice almost right next to him as they stood, flat backed against the bookcase. 

"Did you hear something, Bella?"

Bellatrix was silent and inclined her head to the left slightly. "Yes, my love," came the reply. "Perhaps not all the little children are asleepy–weepy …" 

The footsteps stopped; Lily and James held their breath. 

Soon, there came a singsong voice. "Are there some little children a-creeping about unnoticed?" she sang. "Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Rodolphus's voice came harsh and impatient. "Bella, we have no time for games!" he hissed. "If someone is alerted to our presence now, it could be the end …"

            "Don't be silly, my love, it's only some kiddie-winks. Bella likes her kiddie-winks, she does …"

            Lily's almond eyes were wide with fright. "She's insane!" she moaned quietly.

            "Well, the _kiddie's _as you say, could very easily be our down-fall," said Rodolphus disdainfully.

            "Oh, my love, have some faith in your dear wife," Bellatrix muttered.

            _Thud … thud … thud … _James knew that there was nothing for it. They would have to run and try and get through the door. They were only a few feet away from it after all …

            He grabbed Lily's arm. "Run as fast as you can. Don't stop until I do …"

            And they hurled themselves out from behind the bookcase, running blindly. A shout was heard from behind them, from Rodolphus, but they didn't care. The door was feet away … James reached out his hand, but as he did so, a paper aeroplane soared in front of him. Within seconds, it had turned into Bellatrix Lestrange. Lily gasped and clutched James's arm. 

            "Ah, not so little kiddies … big kiddies … what are you doing up this late? Naughty naughty, you'll get caughty …"

            "Bellatrix!" hissed Rodolphus. "We must go! Dumbledore could be here in any second now!"

            "Relax, Roddy, everything shall be fine …" but Bellatrix was eying James with a great interest. "Wait a second … I know you …" she said, looking avidly at James. "You're … you're a Potter, aren't you?"

            James swallowed. He could feel Lily trembling beside him. 

            "Aha!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands with excitement. "My dearest cousin's favourite family! Do tell me, how is he these days? Still wallowing in self-pity at being rejected by the most ancient and noble house of Black?"

            James tried not to blanch; he was not going to be intimidated by this woman. "Settling in quite nicely, thanks," he said, attempting to keep his voice level.

            Bellatrix looked delighted. "Oohoo! Did you hear that, Roddy? He's got spunk! I like a little fight in my boys, you see … but then who is this charming young lady?"

            Lily glared defiantly back; the shaking had stopped. 

            Bellatrix's smile faltered. "But I … I sense something … you're … Merlin's Beard … you're a Muggle born!" 

            Lily began to breath faster, but did not break her gaze.

            "But, Potter? What are you doing with …  _this?_ This _Mudblood_?"

James clenched his fists. "Shut up," he said through gritted teeth. Bellatrix began to laugh hysterically. _Great plan, Prongs,_ he said to himself. _Manage to piss off the unhinged mass murderer and you'll be well on your way._

"Hush!" muttered Rodolphus."

"Little baby Potter standing up for the scum, is he? Surely you'd be better off getting with someone of your own creed? Pureblooded as you are? But then again, I suppose that it must run in your family. The Dark Lord tells me of your grandparents, boy, powerful yes, but foolish."

            James narrowed his eyes. His heart was pounding with rage. Voldemort had _murdered _his grandparents. 

            "And if you're not careful, I'm sure history has a way of repeating itself … unless you were to change your ways … it's not too late, you know … you could be great you know, _so _powerful … I can sense you … you were only a little pathetic boy years ago, but now …"

            "Bella!" hissed Rodolphus. "We must go, someone will hear!"

            Bellatrix turned lazily to her husband, as though thoroughly annoyed she could not continue what, in her mind, was a civilised conversation. "All right, my dear. I'll be seeing you, kiddie wink," she said with a swift wink at James. Before their very eyes, the pair turned into bludgers and zoomed like shooting arrows out of the window.

            Lily exhaled slowly and turned towards James. "What now?" she asked quietly, as though they were still there.

            James went to the window. They were nowhere in sight. "We have to go and tell Dumbledore."

            Lily nodded and the pair walked stiffly out of the door at the end of the corridor, walking much closer together than they had ever done.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

*A/N: Haha! DRAMA! ACTION! Love it. Anyway, I'm running out of beefy reviews to keep me amused … must … have … more … soon! But I'm going on holiday to Cyprus. For a whole week! I know! Fan fiction withdrawal symptoms! How ever shall I cope? Anyhow, I'm going on Wednesday, so hopefully I'll be able to update as soon as I get back. Please don't be angry; I need a holiday because my GCSE results are out soon … Argh. I'm waffling. REVIEW! 


	17. Not Enough

**CHAPTER 17..:::::.. Because it's not Enough**

**Disclaimer: **I own everything on this planet. Yes, the moon, the stars, the sun, the sea, the camels and South Africa … all of it's mine! But I am not God. I am his sidekick.

*A/N: ARGH! I wrote this chapter as fast as I could to keep you guys occupied while I'm away. I'm going tomorrow … however shall you cope? How shall I cope? Ack, neine! Anyway, leave me lots and lots and lots of reviews to look forward to when I get back … see you in a week's time! Enjoy!

**PennyP:** Sorry a thousand times. Thanks for loving my stories!

**George is Hot-MrsMoony:** Lol, you do make me laugh with your short little weird reviews. Sorry about that whole mix up; I uploaded the wrong chapter. 

**Wing Goddess:**  Haha, I'm glad Bella creeped you out ... that's what I was shooting for! Lol. And what stuff were you "wrapped" up in? ... Lol, do I want to know?  As for italics, you have to save your document as a web page instead of a word document, so when you upload it, it has hmtl or something like that. Once it's in a web doc, you can add all your italics, bolds or what have you.

**Kat44:** Yes, yes I know! I scolded myself for hours afterwards. In book 5 we learn that Bella is Sirius's cousin, "I thought you were here to avenge my dear cousin!" she says *sobs* after she ... *gulp* kills ... *sobs* him. And before, Sirius shows Harry his family tree and it also shows that he is related to the Malfoys! ARGH!

**GoddessMoonlady:** Yeah, in book 5 Bellatrix is portrayed as kind of crazy so I wanted to bring that across! Glad you liked it.

**Anna:** Oh indeed it is.

**Little House Girl:** Hi, glad you think so! That's always encouraging!

**Darkdestiny:** Lol, glad you were excited! I love it when reviewers are generally influenced by my story!

**Fashiondiva:** Lol, red nosed Rudoplhus. Lmao. Thanks; I plan to enjoy my holiday. And the nice weather.

**Little House Girl:** Hi, glad you think so! That's always encouraging!

**Szhismine:** Hmm, yes, he does exist but you see, he needs to be in it as he plays a very important part, you see! Lol.

**Inkling: **Don't worry; I did get your review, for some reason they didn't show up on the site, but they went to my inbox anyway. Thanks for the review; yeah, Bella is supposed to be a bit of a wackjob, but I think Harry must kill her eventually. I hope *winks slyly*.

**LauraLou:** I know, I think I would go into depression if Lupin dies ... I love him! Just a piece of useless info for you; you know the 3rd film is out soon ... well have you ever watched Black Beauty? The horse thing? Cos, in that film there is a guy called Jerry, (or Gerry, I'm not sure) anyway, it's that guy that's playing Lupin in PoA! I don't know if others agree but that's exactly how I imagined Lupin to look. Not sure about Gary Oldman playing our dear Sirius though; I always imagined him as being rather sexy …

**Marauder3Moomy:** Hi, thanks! Don't worry; Voldie has a big part to play yet. I love writing him as well.

**DemonAngi:** I have flo? ... I like that. Lol.

**Quidditch Queen:** Hi thanks 4 reviewing. Glad I have you hooked! As for Trelawney, it's meant to be the mother, as Dumbledore has to hear the Prophecy from Sybil when he's in the Hog's Head. (She's the granddaughter of the Seer or something like that). Oh, I'm 16.

*****HITS PLAY*****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

          Sirius sat in the Common Room, hours after the incident with Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband had happened, with James, Lily, Peter and Remus. A couple of others who had been roused by the voices and had since heard what had happened, were also sitting down, taking advantage of the quiet approaching morning and getting some work done. Sirius's mouth was dry and for some unknown reason to himself, he felt slightly ashamed by what had happened. Bellatrix was his relation after all, his blood …

         "I still can't believe it," he said after some few seconds. "I mean, here? Now?"

         "I know," answered James. "I couldn't believe it when I saw her. I thought I must've been seeing things."

         Sirius shook his head "Nutter. Always was a total nutter."

         James nodded in agreement, recalling her mad eyes as she had figured out his identity and taunted Sirius. 

         Peter looked fearful. "But … _why _where they here? James? Why?"

         James looked at Wormtail. "I don't really know, but I think Dumbledore does."

         "What did he say again?" asked Peter, still chewing his fingernails mercilessly, now bitten right down to the stubby pink ends. 

         James sighed wearily. "Wormtail, it's two in the morning and I've told you all this already. It's giving me a headache …"

         Lily rolled her eyes again at the mention of yet another nickname but decided that now was not really the time to ask. Instead, she made a mental note to ask James at some point. Perhaps he would tell her now …

         "I know, Prongs, but it's just … I want to hear it again."

         James sighed once more and relayed his and Lily's tale. "We went down to Dumbledore's office straight away and told him what we saw."

         "Which was?"

         James threw the others an exasperated look but continued at any rate to rest Peter's mind. "Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange creeping about, talking about being caught by Dumbledore. We saw them transform into humans from being a pair of brooms. They're Morphmagus's."

         "I still can't believe that," said Sirius, still looking gloomily into the fire. "I never knew …"

         James seemed to know exactly what his best friend was thinking. "It's not your fault, Padfoot, you couldn't have known any more than the rest of us. You left that family behind you a long time ago and with good reason. You've got nothing to feel guilty about."

         Sirius shot James a thankful look that only the two of them would have understood and his mind was eased slightly. The one person that mattered the most to him did not hold him responsible at any rate. 

         "So …" Peter prodded.

         "Dumbledore said that it was very significant that they had been here. He didn't say why but –"

         "Oh, isn't it obvious?" said Lily. They all turned to look at her, and she suddenly seemed to shrink. "Well … I don't know, but it's got to be something Voldemort told them to do, hasn't it? What ever they were going to do, they didn't manage it because they were rumbled as soon as they transformed." She turned to James. "That must have been the first time they transformed, when we saw them, because that crazy woman, Bellatrix, asked if it was safe. They wouldn't have had time to do whatever it was they were supposed to be doing."

         Peter looked at her in awe. "I hadn't thought of that! You're clever, you are, Evans!"

         Once again, they all looked at him, and he fell silent.

         "So, why do you think Voldemort told them to come?" asked Lupin. "He must have had a good reason not to come himself."

         "No, it's be stupid for him to come here now, with Dumbledore on the watch and all that," reminded James. He sighed heavily and got out of his chair. "I _knew_ something like this was going to happen, sooner or later."

         "What do you mean?" asked Lupin. 

         "I could just feel it. It was only a matter of time before he tried something with Hogwarts, or Dumbledore. It's been too easy for him. He needed a challenge …"

         Lily looked around. "Well, it didn't seem like they were looking for anything, otherwise they'd have been more intent on getting it. It just looked like they were snooping around; almost checking the place."

         "For what?" asked Peter.

         "I don't know!" snapped Lily; now she was getting to know Peter she was getting a taster of how annoying he could be. Lily had always wondered why the other three where friends with him; but she supposed that they had felt sorry for him at some point, and now it was common practice.

         "Well, this is what I think. I think that Voldemort –"

         _"Don't say the name!"_

         "Shut up, Peter."

         " – sent the Lestranges to check out the security measures of Hogwarts because he wanted to plan an attack."

         The faces around him went pale. "An – an attack? On Hogwarts?" repeated Peter.

         "But now you've alerted Dumbledore to it, there's no way he'll try it now. The security will be heightened … he'll put more stuff in place … censors, lookouts, spells, stuff that's probably already there but we just never knew about," said Sirius, thinking it through. 

         Peter leaned forwards. "So, so … no attack?"

         "Not yet, I wouldn't have thought so," said James. "But it doesn't change the fact that he's getting bolder. Sending two well-known Death Eaters into Dumbledore's territory?"

         "I see what you mean," said Lupin. "Well, you were right on the train at any rate, James."

         A silence followed these ideas about what would or wouldn't happen until Lupin spoke again. It brought no joy to any of them that James's ominous warning months before had been, so far, correct.

         "So, how did you two hear them, then?" Peter said to Lily and James.

         A closed expression came across each of their faces. "What?"

         "Well, none of us did, we were all asleep," continued Remus, a smirk playing in the corner of his mouth.

         "Oh well, I was – "

         "A … and I was – "

         "Doing homework –"

         "Transfiguration – "

         " – Essay." 

         Sirius smirked widely and leaned back in his armchair as the uncomfortable silence filled the air. "Bet you were studying _really _hard."

         Lily blinked and stammered. "Y … yes, of course we were."

         James cleared his throat. "Ahem, right, well I think we should all go to bed and get a few hours sleep. There's nothing more we can do – _or _talk about," he added, silencing Peter with a look that told him he had had enough. 

         "Yes, that's probably a good idea," said Lupin, and he took Peter and Sirius by the arms and dragged them reluctantly out of the room. Sirius gave James a wink as he was lead unwillingly from the room. 

         "Why are we …" Peter began. "_Oh …"_ The dormitory door banged shut and by the sound of it, it sounded as though Lupin was having a hard time hauling the other two away from the door to prevent them from listening through the crack. Soon came lots of _"Ouch_'s_!"_ and _"All right! All right_'s!_"_

James sat down in the chair once more and ran a hand wearily over his forehead. Lily sat down as well and was looking at him expectantly. 

         Lily cleared her throat. "Um – thanks for standing up for me."

         James's eyes widened. "Oh, uh … that's okay. But – it's not the first time that I have, you know," he added, thinking back to that day by the lake.

         "Yes, but if you remember rightly, that was a day when you where airing an innocent party's dirty laundry in front of the whole school."

         _"Innocent?"_ said James, looking scandalized at the presumption. 

         Lily sighed and knew that she would not win that one. "What do we do now?" she asked him, fixing him with a penetrating stare that he could not look away from.

         "Well, there's not much more that we can do. I mean, there's no point in asking Dumbledore what –"

         Lily cut him off.  "No, I don't mean that."

         "What … oh. Right." What had happened before the invasion of Bellatrix and Rodolphus was now flooding back to James with full speed. He was once more at a loss as to what he should say. What do you say _after_ something like that has happened? He had never had to think about this before; all the other girls he had been with had always wanted to see him again anyway. He had never had to try with them.

"Well … it's up to you really," he said lamely, not really knowing what else he could say.

         "Up to me?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why me?" asked Lily indignantly.

         James blinked. "Well, because … because you know how _I_ feel."

         "No, I don't," she said sharply. "You know, you've never actually told me what you want."

         James blew out, playing for time. Where was Sirius when you needed him? "Well, I _have_ –"

         "No, you haven't. Tell me, James. What do you want?"

         James closed his eyes; all he could say was the truth. If she didn't want to know after that, there was nothing else that he could say or do. Taking a deep breath, he opened them again. 

"I want to be able to be with you, all the time, and not just snippets during the day because … because it's _not_ enough. I want to be able to hold you when you're upset and be there for you when you need me to and not get glares from your friends or a snide comment from you. I want to be able to be happy when you're happy and for you to laugh with me like you mean it. I want to be able to kiss you without feeling bad about it or ashamed and to know that when I look in your eyes that you feel the same way about me." James exhaled shakily. "Because if you didn't then it wouldn't mean anything." That had sounded _so _cheesy. She was bound to laugh … any second now …

         Lily's frown had turned into one of rapt attention. Her mouth was slightly open as though this was the last thing that she had expected. In truth, it was. 

         "That's what I want," he added lamely with a weak smile.

         Slowly, but surely, a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. James, whose heart had been sinking lower and lower with every second that had passed since his little revelation, felt enlightened at her smile. It was as though when she did, nothing else mattered. Before he could even believe what was happening, she stood up and was walking over to him. He was immobilized; he could _not_ move. His hand, which was clenched tightly on the sofa beside him with fingernails digging into his palm, was what she held her hand out for. Taking it in hers, she held it lightly and smiled a true smile, swinging her arm slightly. 

         James stood up, shaky on his legs and faced her. She did not draw back as he had expected her to. "Okay," was all she said.

         James frowned. "Okay, as in … I thought you didn't want me to ask you out?" he said, confused. 

         "I don't," she said quickly, but then inclined her head. "But, okay to whatever you're asking."

         James looked thoughtful. "All right then, I'll ask … a question, like, um – like … _will you_?"

         The smile that she had been threatening finally broke out. _Will you? _How silly was that? And yet she couldn't refuse … "Yes, I will," she said, not trying anymore to stop the chuckles that were escaping her.

         "What's so funny?" asked James.

         "You," she said. "You've completely changed. For me. I thought that you'd mess it all up and I might change my mind."

         James faked a glowering face. "Don't get too used to it, Evans," he said, beginning to laugh as well.

         "I don't plan to … Potter."

*~()*~()~*()*~()~*()~*

         "So are you going out?"

         "What did she say?"

         "What did _you_ say?"

         "Did you kiss her?"

         James was plagued with questions as he returned to his dormitory and found them all equally amusing. "You know something, fellow Marauders, this is something I'm not sharing every single detail on."

         There was a chorus of complaint at these words, and James relished the power. "No."

         "Prongs!" whined Peter.

         "Come on, now, Wormtail, leave him be. If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's fair. Right, Padfoot?" he added, giving Sirius a stern look. 

         Sirius glowered. "Fine. But I expect _all _of the gory details once they're married. Is that fair?"

         They all burst out laughing and collapsed onto their beds as the impossibility of the absurd suggestion was made.

*~()*~()~*()*~()~*()~*

         "So, in other words, you failed?" hissed a terrifyingly chilled voice. Voldemort was standing; always a dangerous sign when he was not at ease in his red armchair.

         "M – my Lord, we did see some of the protection spells and …"

         "Did you detect any ancient magic or how to overcome it?"

         "Well, no …"

         "Any particular censors? Can you confirm whether the entire layout and structure of the castle has remained the same?"

         Rodolphus began to stammer. "W – well, my … my Lord, there were factors …"

         "_SILENCE!"_

         Bellatrix jumped and Rodolphus remained silent, his heart pounding.

         "My dearest Lestranges," he said, as though he were trying with all his power to keep his voice as level as possible before he burst. It was done without visible strain; Voldemort had a gift of being extremely dangerous both angry and calm. "There were good reasons as to why I chose you two for this particular …_ job, _but now, as you have failed me, it poses a problem. You were detected, therefore that Muggle-loving fool Dumbledore will be wise to my moves. He does not need a student to spell out what you were doing there … he will be wise to the plan. It is now impossible for an invasion of Hogwarts School. Security will be heightened and every single witch and wizard who can move will be on the lookout. So it is my wish to congratulate you, my faithful followers for almost jeopardizing my entire rise to power."

         A silence followed this speech on the Lestrange's part. Voldemort sighed deeply. 

         "My Lord, please … we beg for forgiveness …"

         "I do not wish to hear your snivelling apologies," he spat.

         Bellatrix stepped bravely forwards, trying to salvage some of the lost situation. Voldemort eyes her with pitiless red eyes, his slit like nostrils dilating.

         "My Lord, the boy that came across us … it was a Potter."

         Voldemort straightened up in his chair, faintly interested. "A Potter. How interesting. I have not heard that name for a long time. Dumbledore has done a very good job of keeping the activities of that family very quiet …"

         Bellatrix bounced on the balls of her feet. "Ooh, my Lord, do you remember the grandparents?" she said with obvious delight like a child asking for a particular treat.

         "Bella, you were but a child at the time … but yes, yes I do. They could have been magnificent …"

         "The boy was rude," she said with an almost sad face, as though she had been hoping for something else. 

         "That does not surprise me," said Voldemort quietly.

         "And the company he kept …"

         Voldemort looked a little horrified and paused for a second. "Are you informing me that it is possible that another pureblood family will be … _contaminated?_"

         Bellatrix smirked and raised an eyebrow. "It's _possible_, my Lord."

         Voldemort clicked his teeth and began to pace. "I do not understand it, like I did not understand my mother. What a fool she was."

         Bellatrix and Rodolphus were silent. It would not do to interrupt him at this point. 

         "So, I am being told that I have been denied the overthrow of Albus Dumbledore because we were defied by a little boy and a little girl?"

         The Lestranges nodded. "If we had stayed, my Lord, and continued out work, it was possible that they children would have alerted someone."

         Voldemort scowled. "And you are saying that it was not possible to … _silence_ them?"

         Bellatrix shook her head. "Not without a fight or possible noise, my Lord, and you did say yourself; if Dumbledore caught us …"

         "I am perfectly clear on what is aid, thank you, Bella," he said softly and Bellatrix fell silent. "Well if that is the case, then we shall simply have to put our energies elsewhere."

         Rodolphus stirred. "Are you referring to the Prophecy, my Lord?" he said.

         Voldemort's mouth curled into a sneer. "Yes, that pesky little thing that is soon to be made. I want to know all that is possible to know about a Prophecy before it is made."

         "My Lord, before it is made … it's not _possible_ …"

         "Then I suggest you find someone who says it is possible."

         The Lestranges nodded and bowed their way out, knowing that they were going to have to find a _Seer_ who could _See_ past what had not yet been _Seen_ by another _Seer._ It sounded even complicated in their own minds.

_*~*~*~*~*_

         A young man called Magnus Forelingdon sat in darkness, terrified. He knew very well why he was here; it had only been a matter of time before Lord Voldemort required his assistance. It would be stupid if he refused, however, the Death Eaters that had come to his house and taken him with them had not given him much of a choice. Magnus was a short man with wispy greying hair and a toothbrush moustache and was well known amongst Death Eaters as a very accomplished Seer. This was not due to him; his brother had been a Death Eater, by the name of Mullciber. Magnus had an idea of what this was all about; he had been seeing flashes in his mind of what was to come … but he couldn't tell them all that he knew because it would put innocent lives in danger. He would have to be careful though, as Voldemort was a very powerful Legilimens, and would know when he was being lied to …

         "The Dark Lord will see you now," came the voice of Rookwood, another Death Eater, stationed at the door to the room where Voldemort was waiting. 

         Magnus gulped and entered.

         "Ah, Magnus, we meet again. Have you seen your fellow brother lately, if you don't mind me asking?"

         Magnus stammered. "O – oh, no, not at all, … no I haven't."

         Voldemort swivelled in his chair and faced Magnus. His eyes were dilating, his pupils small and slit like. "Magnus, could we establish a lack of open hostility? If you are going to work for me, as I only hope you will, you will either call me Lord. Is that clear?"

         "Oh, yes … yes, - my Lord."

         "Good, good. Now, I have a little job for you. I know that you cannot _See_ upon command, but I am asking you to go away and consult your star charts or what have you, and tell me something."

         "A – and what would you have me do? My Lord?" he added hastily.

         Voldemort rose from his chair and went over to the window from which he could see the gloomy sky outside. "I have heard tell," said Voldemort quietly so that Magnus had to strain to hear every word, "that a Prophecy is to be made shortly, concerning myself. You do not need to know how or why I know this, but I wish to know what it entails. This way, I shall be prepared for whatever will come, before anyone else."

         Magnus blinked slightly, as he weighed up the odds of actually being able to do what Voldemort was asking him. "My Lord … it's, well it's not impossible, but … knowing a prophecy before it has been made … the odds of finding out any important details beforehand are … minute –"

         "My good friend Magnus, there was a good reason as to why I _chose_ you to help me with this little problem I have. Is it or is it not so that you were trained by the famous and now ancient Bertha Trelawney? "

         "Well, yes, my Lord, but that doesn't mean –"

         "And that you do indeed possess remarkable Inner Vision?"

         "Yes, but –"

         "But nothing. It is my wish that you do what you can, Magnus, and I only hope that you will."

         "Please, my Lord …"

         "You may go. I will send my Death Eaters to escort you back here in a few days time so that you can report your findings."

         Magnus mouthed wordlessly, knowing that no good could come of this. There was no point in speaking now; his new Lord had spoken and if he did not leave right that second, something terrible would happen. Magnus knew this, as he could feel it and sense it with his _S_eeing mind. He exited, not turning his back on Voldemort, and once he was outside, Rookwood _escorted_ him rather more roughly that was needed back to where he had been found.

         Voldemort rubbed his long spider-like fingers together, getting the feeling that at last, something was going to go his way. Of course, if something went the way of Voldemort, nothing good could come of it. A knock at the door brought him to his senses. 

         "Come in," hissed Voldemort lazily, as Antonin Dolohov sidled into the room.

         "You wanted to see me, my Lord?" said Dolohov.

         "Yes … yes I did. I have been thinking, Antonin …"

         "You have, my Lord?" 

         Voldemort curled his mouth into a sneer. "Yes. I think that as knowledge about this soon to be made prophecy is drawing near, we should strengthen out numbers."

         Dolohov nodded. "You mean gain more supporters, my Lord? Grow our army?"

         "That is exactly what I mean."

         Dolohov smiled cruelly and listened to a number of names that Voldemort said. The names Voldemort came out with where ones he had been keeping a tab on, trying to decide whether or not they were worth pursuing for joining his army. An army that he wanted to use to take over the wizarding world and rein Darkness. Of course, any who resisted joining or stood up against him would die. He mentally logged them in his brain, ready to tell Rosier and Wilkes who would be aiding him in the mission. "Any more, my Lord?" he asked as Voldemort neared the end of his list.

         "No … yes," he said, changing his mind.

Dolohov turned. He had just been about to go out through the door, but stopped. 

"One more. I almost forgot."

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Severus Snape."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*    *A/N: Tada! Sort of a cliffhanger I guess. Sorry, sorry, but I don't have much time. I'm catching a plane in a few hours! I have to love you and leave you. Hot weather and sandy beaches await … 


	18. A Particular Detail

**CHAPTER 18..:::::..  A Particular Detail**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything BUT … *there is no BUT as Rosie is trying to make the painstakingly boring disclaimer sound more interesting than first perceived*.

A/N^: Yo I'm back. Vacation was great. Cyprus is very hot. I was kind of writing some of this by the pool, some by the beach, some at a cocktail bar. Lol. 

Templa Otmena: Hey Lou, I did see those pics in the Leaky Cauldron and I thought that he looked a little bit like Aragorn ... which is ALWAYS good. Lol. There was another pic of Harry kind of grabbing Hermione round the waste. No idea what that's all about but I s'pose it could be the bit at the end with the Dementors. Calm yourself about Lily and James. Lol. I'm starting to freak out about how I'm gonna write the scene where ... ahem. Harry is … you know what I mean. Ahem. Anyway ...

Little House Girl: Lol, anyone can have fictional James. I wonder what actor they'll get to play him in the fifth film *ages away, sobs* for that scene by the lake.

George is Hot-MrsMoony: Cool beans eh? Hmm, I like that. I shall try it some time.

Inkling: Lol, don't jump your little gun! Sorry you had no inet access; it's a pain in the arse when that happens.

Cara-Melissa: Thanks; yes I did enjoy my holiday. Sorry, I was in such a rush to get the chapter 17 up that I didn't have time to send any updates and just hoped that people would check the site! I'm back to my updating self now, however!

LauraLou: Hey, don't sound so depressed! I'd love to go to America. But I'm stuck in rainy England. Hmm, perhaps if you could do a British accent you could be in the movie. I'm going to try and be an extra in Goblet of fire ... *crosses fingers* oh and for Pettigrew, it's him that goes to Voldemort and tells him that he can hand him the Potters.  Voldie doesn't go looking for him, that's what makes him twice the rat! I thought that Snape had to have been bullied a bit by Voldie or he wouldn't have changed sides to be a spy or whatever. I saw a picture of Gary Oldman as Sirius Black, and to me, he looked a bit like Aragorn ... which is ALWAYS good. Mind you, it might have been the light. 

GoddessMoonlady: Aha, Harry would look very cute in a golden carriage. But what comes after him? Death! *sobs*.

Quidditch Queen: Lol, sorry, I had to get away! England was driving me crazy. Anyway, I'm back now, so you can sleep easy. It's Gary Oldman in PoA as Sirius.

Mystikalolo: Lol, not quadruple Happy? Oh well. Sorry this took so long but I've been sunning myself in Cyprus ...Oh, I always called Remus by his last name because that's always how JK refers to him. She always calls him Lupin, but I guess that's just because he used to be a Professor. But she calls Peter Wormtail, James James and Sirius Sirius, not Black for some reason. I'm just trying to keep it real.

Fashiondiva: *Rosie is glad that Diva is pleasantly interested*. More ... chocolate ...

Szhismine: Aha, yes, Snivellus's recruit. Interesting indeed.

Kat44: Ah, in answer to your question, it's called having-nothing-better-to-do. Simple as that. Lol. 

Tigermouse: Hi, bonfires eh? Marshmallows? I am jealous. However, Cyprus has its compensations. Lol. I loved writing Bella because she's a wackjob like me. Haha. I am glad I am on Crossroad's tail ... goal inching closer ...

Snuffles: Lol sorry, had to go on holiday some time! But I'm back now. I know what you mean; I adore Lupin so they best get him right and if Sirius is not spot on (I think Gary Oldman is up to the challenge however) then it shall be an insult to his ... *sobs* memory. Oh yeah, Fred and George are all wrong in the film.

CaNaDiAn CuTiE1: Aww, thank you. By the way, I love your quotes. They rock.

Pookie Monster: Glad your italics and what not worked. I did have fun; glad you like this story. 

*****HITS PLAY*****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

            Whatever it was that had actually occurred between Lily and James, (neither Wormtail, Moony nor Padfoot ever found out until much later) they were able to deduce that it was, naturally, something good as James had woken up the very next day after his and Lily's encounter and positively bounced into the bathroom singing "Glory, glory, Haliegh-Hippogriffs." 

            "So, er – Prongs, are you two going out then?" asked Peter the next day, hoping that on the off chance, James would momentarily forget himself and answer the questions that the other Marauders were dying to hear.

"Well – no …"

"Then pray tell your dear friends why you are prancing around like a Kneazle on speed," said Sirius swiftly.

"What's speed …" Peter broke off and realised, for once, that this wasn't the time.

"Well, I suppose we kind of are, but we're not," said James in a tone that did not at all go with what he was saying; as though it should make perfect sense to everyone else as it did him, but apparently, it did not.

"Kind of, what?" asked Remus, his face showing traces of confusement.  

"Well," James pondered slowly, "she did say yes."

"So you _did_ ask her out?"

"No."

"What?"

James rolled his eyes. "Well, she didn't want me to, but said yes to whatever I was asking," he said. 

Sirius shot him a very impressed look and raised his dark eyebrows. "Now that could be interesting, Prongs," he said, a wicked grin spreading gradually over his handsome face. "If you could somehow incorporate whipped cream into the question …"

"Padfoot," came Lupin's warning voice and Sirius fell silent, the grin not dying from his face in a hurry.

James's face was beginning to fall. "Well … that's good, isn't it? What she said?"

Peter frowned. "Hmm, well, it's a bit vague –"

"It _is_ good," began Lupin.

"But there should be a test," piped up Sirius.

"A test?" repeated James, not liking the sound of what his friends where beginning to concoct. "What sort of test?" he asked apprehensively.

"Just a little one," said Lupin mildly. "Like, uh – kiss her on the cheek this morning at breakfast and if she whacks you around the head with her bag, you've got your answer."

"Ooh, good one, Moony," said Sirius, deep in thought.

"And if she_ doesn't _whack me?" James added in an undertone.

Sirius chuckled. "If she doesn't … I'd say it's pretty self-explanatory, wouldn't you?"

James thought deeply about this while he and his friends dressed. The memory of Lily taking his hand the way she had seemed to stiffen his resolve; there was no harm in kissing her on the cheek, was there? That was, if she had really meant what she said …

_*^~*^~*^~*^~_

            The Great Hall was fairly full by the time the Marauders descended the stone steps as Wormtail had hidden all of their socks. Of course, none of them found this remotely amusing; on the contrary, James had snapped, "Oh, for God Sake, Wormtail, grow up!" and Wormtail had slipped into a sulky silence until the mouth watering smell of breakfast wafted up the stairs, and forced him to speech.

            They settled themselves down on the wooden bench and helped themselves eagerly, (Wormtail was the most eager) to bacon, eggs and kippers just as Lily and her two friends Marietta and Arabella entered. James, who had become increasingly used to Lily ignoring him and walking straight past him for the past seven years, did not expect her to stop right next to him. 

            "Good morning," she said brightly.

            "Morning," James said, trying frantically to say something that a sophisticated boyfriend, if that was what he was, would say. "You – er … look nice," he said lamely.

            Marietta giggled. "You're so sweet, James."

            Lily shot Marietta a poisonous glare and turned to James. "Thanks," she said quietly.

            Sirius cleared his throat loudly and deliberately. "So, er, Lily. Are you and J –"

            James kicked him hard in the shins.

            "Ouch! Uh, you and – Marietta studying hard?" 

            Lily surveyed him sharply with her almond eyes. "Yes," she said bluntly.

            "Jolly good," muttered Sirius.

            Lupin was smiling darkly, as though he knew that he shouldn't be, but Wormtail seemed to have devoted all of his attention to his kippers, which he was having a great deal of trouble putting into his mouth.

            Since there was no space at the table, Lily and her friends were forced to go right down the other end of the Gryffindor bench. James sunk his head into his hands and groaned loudly.

            Wormtail began to snigger. "Could that have gone any worse, Mr Lord of the Girls?"

            James glared so viciously at him that he fell silent. 

            "You never had this problem before, Prongs," said Lupin gently, as though the thought had occurred to him also. 

            Sirius nodded in agreement. "I'd need a few more hands to count how many times you've –"

            "This is different," said James quietly.

            Wormtail had just about ceased his sniggering from James's blunder. "Different? Why?"

            "Because I really like her, you idiot!" he snapped.

            "There's no need to be like that," Wormtail muttered mutely in a petulant tone.

            "Well, stop being so unbelievably thick then, Wormtail," said Sirius. "He just wants to do it right, is all."

            Lupin nodded and drained his pumpkin juice. "Haven't you got Quidditch practice today, Prongs?" he asked.

            "Yeah," James replied in a sullen voice. "Now, actually." And he got up, ready to walk out of the Great Hall, almost forgetting to deliver Snape his early morning scowl, but stopped as Lily caught his eye for a split second. _Just go over and say something,_ said the voice inside his head. _That's all that you can do._

            James found his feet wandering over to Lily before he even knew what they were doing.  Lupin rose behind him and, sensing his friend's foreboding feelings, whispered in his ear, "It's just a relationship, Prongs, that's all. It's not like you proposed."

            But the word _relationship_ did nothing to ease the knot tightening in his stomach. In fact, it only intensified it. 

            Lily looked up as she saw James approaching and Marietta and Arabella had the good grace to look like they were having a deep and meaningful conversation that cut them off from the rest of the world. "Hello, again," she said.

            "Hi. Look, uh – " he started out, but knew that he was heading into the miserable cloud of another failure. _Why was this so difficult? Even after she as good as told him that she felt that same way…_

            Lily stood up from the bench and took a few steps away from her friends, whom she knew perfectly well would be listening hard with every ounce of strain they had and suppressing giggles. 

            "What is it?" she asked as James followed her to the left. 

            "Well, you see … the thing is … I – I have Quidditch practice now." _You idiot, Prongs._

            Lily half smiled, half frowned. "Okay …"

            "So I er – I s'pose I'll see you later then?" he added hopefully, forcing himself to meet her sparkling emerald gaze. 

            "Okay then," said Lily to his surprise. "I'll be in the library doing some revision. You know, for our NEWT's. You can join me if you'd like," she went on. James took a good few deep breaths. 

            "Oh. Okay," he tried to say casually but failed miserably.

            They stood for a few moments, breaking eye contact and occasionally making it again. 

            "Well … have fun!" said Lily. She was just about to walk past as a voice was screaming frantically inside his pounding head; _Do it! Kiss her on the cheek! _But whilst his brain was debating this, a cool, almost tingly sensation passed over his own cheek and just as his brain began to un-fog itself, Lily walked away, her heels echoing on the floor as though they were the only thing that James could hear. _She_ had kissed _him._ He stood, immobilized for a good two minutes while his motor functions gathered themselves on how to walk and think at the same time. As he left, he swore Dumbledore gave him a subtle wink, which was quickly replaced with an odd look from McGonagall as he positively skipped, all dignity forgotten, out of the Great Hall. 

_*^~*^~*^~*^~_

Magnus Forelingdon was trembling violently as he sat waiting, once more, to be seen by Lord Voldemort. Three days had passed since he had been given his "mission" and now, he had hardly anything to show for it. A gifted Seer though he was, it was close to impossible to determine details of a prophecy before it has even been made. To further add to this unfeasible task, Magnus, nor Voldemort it seemed, knew _who_ would be making the prophecy. This, though a tiny detail, would have helped a great deal. But Magnus had determined one thing, and tiny though it was, it might just save his life …

"The Dark Lord will see you now," came a voice from the shadow that was harsh and foreboding. 

Magnus rose, his knees shaking so badly he was sure they would not support his weight and crumble beneath him. 

Upon entering, he first saw that Voldemort was not sitting as was usual, but standing; tall, white and powerful, silhouetted and framed in the weak light from the window. 

"Magnus," he hissed, putting careful emphasis on the 's' so he sounded snakelike. 

"My Lord," Magnus bowed.

Voldemort placed his hands on the back of the chair. "Do please sit, Magnus," he declared, signalling to the chair directly in front of him.

"S – sit, my Lord?" Magnus echoed, as though this were the last thing that he had expected. 

Voldemort sneered. "Yes, sit. I wish you to be comfortable."

Magnus hesitated; Voldemort alone sat in that chair. Was this some kind of a trick? But Magnus knew that there was nothing to be gained by refusing, so he lowered himself into the deep red softness as Voldemort paced slowly in front of him, tracing his long nails with a skeletal spidery finger along his mouth. 

"So, Magnus. Tell me of your findings."

Magnus faltered. He had not prepared a speech to rectify why he could not find out more about the prophecy. 

"My Lord," he began slowly. "Please understand … what you are asking is … near the impossible …"

Voldemort sighed and continued to pace the room. "Did you find out who would foretell the prophecy?"

Magnus blinked. "N- no, my Lord."

Voldemort inhaled slowly. "Well then, let's try again. Did you find out when the prophecy would be made?"

"No … no, m – my Lord – "

Voldemort's nostrils dilated. "Then surely, you can tell me who, besides myself obviously, the prophecy concerns?"

Magnus gulped. His heart was beating a violent tattoo against his Adam's apple. Voldemort stopped pacing and stood directly in front of Magnus, so he was looking at his knees. He lowered his face so they were only a few centimetres apart. "Then, in that case, you have disappointed me, Magnus. Do you know what happens when my followers disappoint me?"

Magnus blinked, wide eyed, and shook his head. "My Lord, I – I crave your pardon …"

Voldemort smirked. "That is a wise thing to crave. However, I do not give it out willingly."

Magnus tried to sit back in the chair, but he knew it was too late. Voldemort was already going to do what he was going to do …

"_Crucio!_"

 Magnus screamed. It was pain beyond anything. He was being split in two with while hot pokers, stabbing at every part of him … he wanted to black out … for it to end … to die …

Voldemort lifted the curse and Magnus sunk back into his chair, unable to speak. 

"Let us pretend that the conversation before never happened. Good evening, Magnus. Now. Did you find out who would foretell the prophecy?"

Magnus rolled over onto his side, staring up at the terrible vision of Voldemort, knowing that he would not be able to redeem himself. 

"Ah. Do you need another reminder, perhaps, of why no one says _'no'_ to the Dark Lord?"

Voldemort raised his wand yet again, and Magnus cried out at the second he was about to mutter the incantation. 

"My Lord! Please! I do – have … something!"

Voldemort lowered his wand, looking delighted at the pain he was causing. "Something, you say?"

Magnus nodded and tried to push himself up in the sinking chair. "It's very small, my Lord … b- but it's something."

Voldemort surveyed him closely. "Then pray tell me."

Magnus swallowed again. "Well, I discerned a particular … particular letter – "

"A letter?"

" – a letter that continued to crop up … I do not know what it means, my Lord, but if I had to guess …"

"I am not fond of guesswork, Magnus, which is why I hired a supposedly _gifted _Seer. Obviously I was mistaken."

Magnus was desperate to make up the blunder. "Well, less of a certainty, my Lord, but more than a guess …"

Voldemort sighed lazily. "What is your uncertain guess?"

"It has to do with a name, sir, or something similar."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes. The whimpering mess of a man's story was becoming steadily interesting … "And this letter is … ?"

"_P_, my Lord."

Voldemort turned away. "_P …_interesting." He went over to the window and breathed evenly. "Very well, Magnus, I have done with you. You have been of … satisfactory service. For now …"

Magnus breathed a sigh of relief, and rose from the chair. "M – may I go, my Lord?"

"Yes. Fetch me Dolohov, if you would be so kind," he added as Magnus positively ran from the room. 

A few minutes passed as Voldemort continued to survey his surroundings, thinking hard about what he had just heard. Before long, the door creaked open again and Antonin Dolohov stepped in. "My Lord?" he said in a deep voice. 

Voldemort turned, an avid look of glee in his eyes. "Ah. Antonin. We have something to arrange." 

Antonin was enlightened at this new expression; Voldemort would perhaps murder the useless Seer later. "Arrange, my Lord? How can I help?"

Voldemort turned back to the window, and smiled cruelly. The breeze came in and rustled Dolohov's hair. Voldemort, of course, had no hair, and did not feel cold, so Dolohov's shiver meant nothing to him.

"You know, Antonin, I think I feel a massacre coming on."

_*^~*^~*^~*^~_

            Much to James's delight, but equal horror, Lily had not gone to the library as she had said, but to the Quidditch pitch to watch him practice. She was accompanied by Arabella, who was not delighted at the fact that Wormtail had sat down next to her and Lupin had not. Lily was becoming increasingly irritated by Peter, who also thought her significance at practice was highly significant. In truth, she wanted to see for herself what all the fuss was about, and had trouble concealing the fact that she was actually very impressed with James's flying abilities. 

            "So. An adoring girlfriend now, eh, Evans?" Peter said for what had to be the third time.

            "Oh, for Merlin's sake, I am not sat here so I can whoop and cheer when he gets his feet back on the ground. He doesn't need another fan club," she said irritably. She thought she heard Lupin chuckle into his hot coffee on the other side of Wormtail. 

            "Did you know that a third year actually set one of those up for him and Sirius?" said Arabella.

            "No!" Lily exclaimed. Arabella went a shade of sudden magenta. "Oh, Bella, you didn't …"

            "Of course I didn't! I've got better things to do than join a stupid fan club!"

            Lily said nothing more on the matter, though the fact that it took Arabella a good ten minutes to return to her normal colour was highly significant. She continued to watch the flurry of red blurs in the sky, swerving and dodging. But soon, her eyes focused on something else. It wasn't red and gold … it was silver and green and it was coming closer. Sirius was first to touch the ground, quaffle in his arm, and head towards them and the second he did, Lupin was on his feet.

            "I smell trouble," he said.

            "Ooh! Good!" said Wormtail, following him eagerly. 

            "Oh no," Lily muttered. "Not another fight. James is bound to lose his temper and then I'll have to shout at him and storm off. I really can't be bothered."

            Arabella smirked. "So don't. Stand up for him for once."

            Lily looked at her indignantly. "In case you haven't noticed, its usually Snape who needs someone to stand up for him!"

            "What about that Ampipain curse?" she reminded. Lily fell silent. "That was horrible. So I'm going to go and hear the whole story before someone turns somebody into a slug and we draw judgement." And with that, she jogged behind Wormtail.

            "Bella!" Lily hissed. "Oh – fine then." And she grudgingly followed. 

* * *

            Sirius practically threw himself off his broom to face Snape. "And what the hippogriff do you think you're doing here?" 

            Snape sneered and stopped in front of Sirius. Behind were the other teammates of the Slytherin team, clutching their brooms. "I think, Black, I am standing here."

            Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Don't get smart, Snivellus, it doesn't suit you. What are you doing here?" he repeated. James and the others landed behind him.

            "Practicing Quidditch of course," he said coolly, his hair jumping in an oily fashion every time he moved. 

            "Funnily enough," James began, "I think we booked the pitch yesterday."

            "Yes, but as a Prefect, I'm aloud to overrule the –"

            James yawned widely. "Snivellus, is your memory as slippery as your hair? Well, no I s'pose it can't be, can it, cos then you'd need to have your head shaved and no one wants to see that, but aren't you forgetting something?" 

He tapped the Head Boy badge on his chest. 

            The other Slytherin team mates obviously thought that this was not a fight worth starting, and turned to leave, knowing that they could not overrule a Head Boy, and nor could Snape. Snape moved closer so that no one could hear what he was saying to James. "You didn't deserve that badge," he said spitefully. 

            "Sour grapes, Sniv?" said James casually. "Mind you, if we're going to talk about being sour –" 

"James," Lupin called. James stopped mid sentence and turned around.  Lily was coming over. He hastily dropped the sarcastic voice as she came within earshot. Snape however, seemed to guess. 

"Ah, can't let the Mudblood see the Head Boy taunt little Snape, now can we Potter?"

Lily stopped in front of them. "What's _he_ doing here?" asked Arabella.

"Existing," said Sirius darkly. "Which, I think is a crime in itself."

Wormtail roared with laughter but Lily did not. James tried hard to keep a straight face, chewing his lip to stop laughing. 

Lily straightened up. "Well, you can't practice now, Snape, because Gryffindor booked the pitch and as Head Boy and Girl are present to overrule you, I don't see why you are still standing here."

The others looked at her. Although her voice was even, there was a slight warning tone to it. Snape's mouth had tightened into the ugliest sneer and his face was flushed. "This doesn't involve you, Mudblood," he spat.

James started forwards, forgetting magic, forgetting that he had a wand. All he wanted to do was to hit Snape as hard as he could on his overly large and stupid nose. Lily grabbed his arm. 

"Don't!" she hissed. James stopped, head pounding, and lowered his arm slowly. Snape had not moved. 

"I'm warning you, Snivellus," he said. "If you say that one more time …"

"Say what? Mudblood?"

Both Sirius and James started forwards that time but Lupin grabbed them both by the neck of their robes. "James," he said quietly. "I don't think Head Boys are supposed to brawl in full view of McGonagall."

They all turned and sure enough, McGonagall was standing close by, talking to a couple of third year boys and obviously reprimanding them for something or other. Lily turned to Snape.

"I really do feel sorry for you, Severus," she said kindly. "You can't even respond when someone isn't attacking or taunting you. It's as though you've lost all your humanity."

Snape said nothing but continued to glare. It seemed to be costing him a great amount not to swear and hex them all, as McGonagall was standing close by, especially as Lily had the power to insult him almost kindly. 

"Must be something to do with the Dark Arts," said James, voice full of hatred. "They can't have helped his already inhumane side …"

Snape raised his wand. 

"BOYS!" McGonagall shouted. She could spot trouble almost quicker than any other teacher in the school and barely had to turn her head to know that something was soon about to occur between the two most popular boys and Severus Snape. "What's going on here?" she asked briskly, eyes lingering on Lily. 

"Nothing, Professor," said Lupin. "Just discussing Quidditch."

McGonagall glanced from James to Snape, glaring at each other as though both wished the other nothing but ill, and raised her eyebrows. It was plain that no conversation of the sort was taking place. "Well, in that case I suggest you all go inside. It's about to rain."

"Yes, Professor."

She turned on her heel and left. 

"Come on, let's go," said Lily as James took her hand. The others followed in McGonagall's wake; Snape was left behind, staring at the floor.

~^*~^*~^*~

            Snape was so angry that he had stormed off completely out of the Hogwarts grounds. As it was Saturday, his leave went partially unnoticed save a few second years who would not dare tell on him due to rumours that he knew more Dark Spells than all the teachers put together. After knowing, and keeping quiet, Lupin's secret about being a werewolf, Snape knew that the passageway through the Whomping Willow lead right into the Shrieking Shack and therefore to Hogsmead. It was here that he had crashed down, venting his anger, so he could sit, unnoticed by teachers or pupils, and stew in peace.

            Snape had walked the length of the village and had settled himself up on the hill on the edge of the village, beneath a few caves etched into the cliffside. 

His anger had still not subsided as he thought about what had happened. Stupid, arrogant James Potter and Sirius Black. What right did they have to act like the Magical Law Enforcement Squad? Who died and made them Merlin? Black was so up himself; so what if he could ride a broom or talk to girls? And as for Potter … Head Boy? And a Mudblood for Head Girl? Dumbledore had lost his mind. That had to be it. If only Salazar Slytherin could see what had happened to the school – he would be turning in his grave. What right did Potter have to humiliate him like that every single time? If he ever fought back at stupid Potter, then he would be expelled. He knew spells like no one had ever seen before … but Potter should pay for making his life such a misery.

            Snape's anger began to ebb away, and in it's place, much to his disgust, was a terrible sadness. They were right; he was up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts. What did he have to show for himself? A father who had taught him every type of spell to cause pain before so much as showing him how to Transfigure a teabag and a mother who had left years ago. What chance did he have in this world?

            No sooner had he thought this, he heard a noise behind him. He turned sharply and inelegantly to find him face to face with a pockmarked man with straw like brown hair and mad gleaming eyes. 

            "Who are you?" asked Snape slightly apprehensively.

            The man sneered, similarly to Snape. "You are Severus Snape?" he asked, ignoring the question.

            Snape narrowed his eyes. "Why?" he said in a low tone.

            "My name is Rookwood," said the man straightening up. "I have been sent by a very powerful wizard who has had is eye on you for some time."

            Snape inhaled sharply. He knew whom this man was talking about. But why him? "Yes," he said after a few seconds pause. "I am Severus Snape."

            The man smirked. "I know you are. _He _knows you are. The Dark Lord requires your devotion and loyalty, Snape."

            Snape's eyes widened. "H – he does?" 

            "Yes. A select band of followers, Death Eaters, are his most loyal supporters. It is an honour to be approached for a post such as that." 

Rookwood turned, indicating Snape follow him, and wandered up the hill. Snape hesitated for a second, and, knowing he had nothing to lose, followed him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*    A/N^: So glad to be back … missed fan fiction but also my cat. Lol. I wrote a "feeling sorry for himself Snape" in this chapter … I expect there will be mixed reactions … I've tried to show both sides; how Snape could be an arse as well, sometimes without being provoked and how James has to take his flack, Dark Arts and what not, but also sometimes how Snape felt, and why he acts like he does in the books today towards people and Harry in particular. Anyway, please read and review, _they're all I live for_ *accepts that she is being melodramatic*. 


	19. The Cryptic Pattern

**CHAPTER 19..:::::..  **

** Disclaimer: **Well, basically I won everything you don't recognise. But you already know that. 

_Cara-meLissa: _More James and Lily action eh? Hmm. I'll see what I can do. (I love them too.)

_Quidditch Queen:_ Cyprus was great thanks; I do quite like American accents, but no more than Irish (no offence) but I think lots of Americans like British accents (I may be wrong) but when I went once, and we ordered food they kept asking us to repeat it so they could hear our accent. Lol. It made me laugh. I wondered too, don't worry! Glad you love Bellatrix!

_The Only One You Ever Feared:_ Hey, I love your name. Thanks for reviewing. Keep doing it! Lol.

_Remus'sHunni:_ I love Remus too!!! He's fab. I call him Lupin because that's how JK refers to him; also I think it's because he was a professor. I'm just trying to be faithful to the master- ess.

_Tainted Day:_ Aww thanks a lot!

_Fashiondiva:_ *Rosie deeply hopes that the Diva was joking about a sexy Snape else she will curl up and die*.  What was I doing in a cocktail bar? You mean when I'm only 16? Hmm, I'm not sure; you'd be better off asking the five random men I was with. Lol.

_Drops-of-Winter:_ Thanks, I'm trying to show why Snape might be so ... ugly.

_Maulani: _Hi, thanks for the review, you think it's in cannon? Wehey! Lol.

_Pookie Monster:_ Lol, yes you did and yes I did thanks. Hehe. Glad you love this. I'm going for funny and dramatic AND romantic. Phew. 

_Inkling1:_ Wow thanks, that was a close one. I was close to death and then saw your review. Phew! Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but I made up the whole Glory Glory Haliegh Hippogriffs thing. Lol. 

_Kat44:_ No errors eh? Wow, that's a first! Must be why I'm top set English! Lol.

_Hira:_ A million gazillion? That's an awful lot I must say. Haha. Actually, it's not enough! More love! Lol.

_Akira Gown:_ Hmm, to forgive you a second time ... now that could be hard ... but I can do it. Lol. Just glad your still reading it. 

_Lady Rebecca:_ Yeah, I am trying to show just a snippet of sympathy or what have you, but to be honest I expected flames! Thanks a lot.

_Mystikalolo:_ Lol, yes P does naturally stand for Potter *Rosie knows what mystikalolo is talking about however* and as for that, you shall just have to wait and see. ;) 

*****HITS PLAY*****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

Much to the horror of most of the seventh years, their last year was positively flying by. Weeks and months were disappearing like Galleons and the workload was definitely increasing due to their forthcoming NEWT's. This was all very well, but now they only had a few weeks left before the exams were actually upon them. The winter month had slipped away and summer was almost upon them. 

"I just can't believe how quickly it's all gone," said Lily one day at breakfast. 

James smirked. "I know. We've been going out for almost three months now."

Lily looked sideways at him. "I didn't mean that," she said. "That's just dragged on."

James looked at her, slightly crestfallen, his hazel eyes searching hers.

"I'm joking!" she said hurriedly as Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. And then quietly, "Seriously, three months?"

"But the thing is," Lupin interrupted because it was likely that yet another argument was likely to break out between the pair as had been happening frequently. "It also means that our NEWT's are here soon."

Sirius scoffed through his potatoes. "Come on, Moony," he said with a chuckle. "We'll sail them."

But the rest were looking at Lily who had angrily banged her knife down on her plate with a clatter. "All right, that's quite enough of this. I want all of you, right now, to explain these nicknames to me."

James grimaced. "W- why, Lily dear?" he asked furtively. 

"Because, James, there has to be a reason as to why you are called Prongs to everyone else except me and why you call Remus by someone's backside and why Sirius is a Bigfoot or what ever."

There was a pronounced silence after this when Peter slightly cleared his throat. "Um, Lily, I'm known as Wormtail," he said in a small voice.

"Really," said Lily absent-mindedly. "That's nice, but will somebody just get it over with?"

James looked from one to the other and then back at Lily. "Is – is it really that important, pumpkin?" he asked. 

Lily's eyes flashed. "Don't you call me that," she said sharply. "And I think that three months in a relationship –"

"Two months, twenty six days and this morning," James cut off.

"– Should constitute as showing a little trust between one another. And why have you been keeping count like that?"

James blushed ever so slightly, though attempted his tone to be mature and still cocky enough to escape the sniggers from his friends. "Well, I just – I didn't think that … that it'd last this – this long so I … you know."

Lily's expression changed for a microsecond into one of fondness as she leaned over to him. "That's so sweet," she said, kissing him on the cheek. James glowed. 

"I know," he said but the glow was lost as her expression changed very quickly as did her tone of voice. 

"But that's not the point. Come on someone, fill me in."

They all cast gloomy looks among themselves. Lupin sighed. "I suppose we have to tell her, Prongs," he said ignoring Lily's indignant expression. 

"Why?" said Peter suddenly. 

"Because," said Sirius, "if we don't she might put us in detention. Or worse. Hex us."

"Do we have to?" asked Peter sulkily. "I liked it when it was just the four of us."

"Oi, this is my girlfriend!" James said. "But do we have to?" he added quietly.

Lupin waved an impatient hand and leaned very far in so Lily did too. When he spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper and not very audible so Lily had to strain to hear. "You see, Lily, it starts with me."

Lily frowned. "You?"

"Something happened to me when I was a young boy that would isolate me for the rest of my life."

There was a pause as the clogs clicked about in Lily's head. Before Lupin could go on, she raised a hand, eyes wide. "You – you're a … a werewolf, aren't you?"

Lupin's eyes widened slightly with shock as did the others. "How did you know that?" asked James, impressed.

Lily shook her head. "I remember. That night, with Snape, and you and … the werewolf. I had a suspicion because you didn't want to hurt it and you wouldn't let Snape kill it … sorry. I mean you."

"It's quite all right," said Lupin indifferently, "But you see, my friends could hardly fail to notice what I was after being in my company for two years. So when they knew they could help me with my transformations, they –"

"Wait a second," said Sirius. "I want to say Lily, first, don't scream or anything."

"Don't make a fuss – "

"I know you're Head Girl –"

"But I'm Head Boy, so …"  
          "Will you shut up and tell me?" she said, annoyed. It couldn't be that bad … surely …

"They became illegal Animagi so they could be with me when I was a werewolf," said Lupin after a second. "That's what the names are for. Sirius is –" 

"YOU WHAT?" she said, rounding on James. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD –"

"SHUT UP!" he hissed, pulling her down again as she had risen from her bench and clapping a hand over her mouth. "You have to keep quiet or someone will hear you! Do you really want to land us all in Azkaban?"

Lily shook her head, still unable to speak. 

"Do you promise you won't tell?" said Peter, looking scandalised. 

Lily hesitated and then nodded her head slowly. James released his hand and her eyes were wide. "Why … how … _how …_"

"It took them a while but in our fifth year they managed it. Sirius is a big black dog, I'm a wolf, Peter is a rat and James is a stag."

Lily frowned for a second and then realised something. "Ooh! That's why … with your Patronus …"

"That's where the nicknames come from," James explained. "Peter's Wormtail, Sirius is Padfoot, Remus is Moony and I'm Prongs."

There was a very loud and pronounced silence after this where Lily opened her mouth a few times to speak and then closed it again, at a loss of what she should say, if anything. 

James broke it. "S – so, what do you think? Dear?" he added hopefully.

Lily shook her head and hen smiled much to the surprise of all four Marauders. "I think it's brilliant," she said. "I don't know _how _you managed it, but it's brilliant."

&*()_&*()_&*()_&*()_

          Snape was walking very quickly to the house where resided Lord Voldemort. Almost three months had gone by since he had had the Dark Mark seared into his skin to show he openly supported Voldemort. It was hard, having to hide it from everyone at school, especially Dumbledore, but Snape was very useful. He was stationed at the exact right spot if Voldemort needed to know anything, and Dumbledore trusted him. He was to report every week or so just to confirm that nothing out of the ordinary and happened yet. He did not dare Apparate; it was much easier to sneak out of the Grounds and through the passageway to Hogsmead where a fellow Death Eater would be waiting. This time, it was Lucius Malfoy.

          "Anything to report, Snape?" he asked smoothly in a superior voice. Although Malfoy was only a few years older than Snape, he had been a Death Eater for longer and therefore held more sway over him. 

          "Not this time, no," said Snape.

          Malfoy's lip curled in almost the identical way that Snape's did. "Severus," he began. "You have had nothing to report on now for almost two months. I do hope that there is nothing wrong."

          Snape shook his head. "There has been nothing to report, Malfoy. Nothing that the Dark Lord would need to be plagued with."

          Snape only told them what he had to; he would never reveal anything about how he was taunted or humiliated. That would show weakness and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He was not lying. There was nothing to report. 

          "Right, well in that case, there is no need for you to come up to the house. That is probably better. Then you will not be missed."

          Malfoy nodded and swept out of sight leaving Snape with a guilty twinge in his stomach. He did not know whether this was due to the fact he could not do anything useful for Voldemort or something else. 

&*()_&*()_&*()_&*()_

          Lessons were all the same in context; they worked very hard, James and Sirius included, and then were very glad for a lunch break. Then they continued to work very hard again, often into the night, and ate as much as was physically possible before collapsing into bed. One evening a few days after Lily had been informed of the Marauder's antics as Animagi, the four returned, exhausted from revision, from the Common room. They all sunk down fully clothed into bed and moaned.

          "This is unnatural," said Sirius. "The human body cannot be forced to cope like this."

          "I totally agree, Padfoot," said James.

          "What are you on about?" said Peter. "We all know perfectly well that you and Lily will exchange massages later."

          James sat up. "How do you know about that?" he asked, forgetting himself and then recovered lamely. "I mean, what are you talking about Wormtail?"

          To save James the embarrassment of having the other two quiz him, Lupin changed the subject. "I thought you said you were going to sail them, Sirius?"

          "I lied," Sirius groaned. 

          Just as he said this, Lily came bustling in the dormitory. They all sat up hurriedly.

          "What are you doing in here?" said Sirius, scandalised. "You're not allowed in here!"

          "Says who?" said Lily defiantly. "I'm Head Girl, I can do what I want."

          "Now, Lily, that's abusing your position. What if I was naked?" he continued. 

          Lily rolled her eyes and made a disgusted expression. "Then I shall thank Merlin that you are not."

          James stood up and went over to Lily. "Not that I'm not glad to see you," he said, kissing her on the cheek, "But what are you doing in here?"

          Lily held up a paper. It was _The Daily Prophet _and on the front was a large headline; "_VOLDEMORT STRIKES AGAIN_". 

          "Oh no," James breathed as the others, catching sight of the headline, stood up and went over to them. Lily cleared her throat and read aloud. 

          _"The notorious Dark Wizard, known by a name that we witches and wizards would rather not speak of, _(Lily tutted; "Why they just can't say his name I don't know,") _has struck again. Neighbours of Gideon Prewitt and his wife last night came out of their homes after hearing a terrible commotion only to find the terrifying Dark Mark lingering sinisterly above the house. After alerting Ministry officials immediately, the newly elected Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, stated, "It was only a matter of time before he struck again, but I must urge the Magical Community to remain calm and trust us to restore order and safety." Readers are encouraged to ring the _Panic Hotline _if they are still unconvinced for their safety."_

          "Oh, what a load of old tosh," said Lily snappily. "_Restore safety_ my backside. They're no closer to stopping Voldemort than I am of having an affair with the Muggle Priminister."

          They all looked at her, shocked. 

          "Well, they're not," she said quietly and sat down on James's bed. James sighed deeply. 

          "I cannot believe this," he said coldly. "Why them?"

          Sirius shook his head. "I don't know."

          Lupin also stood up and went to the window. "He doesn't need reasons anymore, it's just for the hell of it."

          Peter was the only one sat down as Lily stood up. "B – but they will stop him, won't they?" he asked timidly. They all shot him glares.

          "Does it look like it?" snapped Sirius. "The Prewits were powerful wizards, they wouldn't have gone without a fight."

          Lupin looked grave. "Maybe that's why," he said slowly. "Maybe they rose against him."

          "Good for them," said James quietly.

          "Oh yeah?" said Peter who had suddenly gotten to his feet. "Good for them, was it? Doesn't look too good now, does it, eh?"

          "Peter!" snapped Lupin, a warning look in his grey eyes. 

          "No, Remus, let me speak. They stood up to V – … to Him, and now they're dead! Doesn't bode well for the rest of us, does it? You're all planning on standing up to him as well, aren't you?"

          "Yes!" came the defiant reply from every single one of them. 

          There was a long pause as Peter sat down again, shaking slightly. 

          James moved forwards. "What exactly are you saying, Wormtail? That it's not worth standing up to him? That we should just go along with him and whatever he tries to make of this good world?"

          Wormtail gazed up at James, frightened. "No! Not at all, it's just … well. I'm scared."

          "We're all scared, Peter, but that's no reason to mouth off about giving up!"

          Peter nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just I'm not brave like you and Sirius and Remus."

          James walked over to where Peter was sitting and put a hand on his shoulder. "It'll be all right. We're with Dumbledore. You're not to worry, OK?" he said giving it a quick squeeze and going to join Lupin at the window. 

          Lily hid her disgusted expression at Wormtail; he looked like a shaking overgrown baby with his ratty fingernails and whiny expression. It made her sick.

&*()_&*()_&*()_&*()_

          News of the murder of the Prewits spread like wildfire through the school over the next couple of weeks. People carrying issues of the _Daily Prophet _would open them again in the back of classes, unseen and discuss it in hushed whispers. Teachers too, seemed rattled. They would be talking quietly in the corridors and then break off abruptly before students could hear what they were saying. It was obvious however; they knew, as well as Lily and the Marauders that Voldemort was getting stronger. Within a fortnight, the panic had subdued slightly. The Prewits were not talked about half as much and student's minds were driven clean of Voldemort as more frantic revision ensued. 

          Something happened the next day however that would turn the Marauder's minds away from revision. Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts gamekeeper, had been away from his duties for the past month. James and the others were on very good terms with Hagrid, who thought them highly amusing. James knew, however, what Hagrid was doing. His father, Edward Potter, worked for the Ministry and had told James, who was sworn to secrecy, that Hagrid was helping Dumbledore work against Voldemort. He had left it at that, so James had no details. That day however, Hagrid burst through the doors of the Great Hall in the afternoon during lunch.

          "Professor Dumbledore, sir!" he said breathlessly as he trudged up to the staff table. 

          Dumbledore got to his feet looking worried and so did McGonagall. 

          "Professor, there's somethin' I gotta tell yeh!"

          "Hagrid! Not here!" hissed McGonagall as students were looking very interestedly at him. 

          "If you would be so kind as to accompany me outside, Hagrid," said Dumbledore calmly as he moved away from the table.

          "Righ' you are, sir," said Hagrid and he followed him out. 

          James and the others exchanged curious looks, but no more was known until much later. 

*^*^*^*^*^

          "James, will you come in now, please!" Lily was saying to him as he got off his broomstick. "I'm getting cold and we have to do some revision!"

          "She's right you know, Prongs," said Sirius, swinging his broom over his shoulder. "Come on," and he strode off. 

          "We'll be there in a minute," James called out after him and stored his broom in the shed just to the right of them.

          "No, we won't," said Lily sternly. "I don't know about you, but I want to pass these NEWT's and if we don't study properly –"

          James pulled a sad face. "Come on, Lils, we never get any time alone together anymore."

          Lily frowned. "We don't have _time _to go off all the time, James, we've got exams!"

          "So you keep saying!" he said, taking her arm. "Come on, we're going on a hike."

          Lily objected and tried to half pull her arm free. "No, come on James, we can't, we don't have time –" but she didn't try very hard. James's grip was far to strong and in a way he was right; they hadn't ever really spent time alone together away from the Marauders. Not even when they had started the relationship.

          "Where are we going?" she asked after a few minutes.

          James frowned. "Well, I'm not sure."

          They climbed the hill past the lake where the giant squid was sunning itself in the fresh sun and past Hagrid's Hut. 

          "We're going … _here,_" said James and flopped down on the grass where they had a nice view of the lake and the castle. He grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her down too.

          "What are you doing?" she asked sternly, but with a little smile. "We're going to just sit here, is that the idea?"

          "Pretty much."

          Lily smiled. "Well, it's a nice idea," she said.

          James attempted to subtly put an arm around her shoulders, but it wasn't very subtle. Oddly enough, she didn't object. Not even when he kissed her. 

          The sound of rustling movement behind them made them turn sharply. 

          "All righ' you two?" came a booming voice. Hagrid turned to James and winked. "Not interrupting anythin' I hope?" he asked slyly.

          "Oh no, no!" said Lily standing up suddenly. "Sorry, Hagrid, we didn't see you."

          "I gathered tha'," said Hagrid with a small smile. "An' I think it's great about yeh two, I gotta say …" he trailed off.  "Anyways, none o' my business, that. Best be getting off."

          James stood up as well, sensing an opportunity, and spoke. "Hey, Hagrid, what was all that about yesterday? With Dumbledore?"

          Hagrid's face darkened. "Ah, can' tell yeh, James, you know I can'".

          Lily caught on. "Yes, we know, Hagrid. We know you work so hard against Voldemort," (Hagrid flinched) "and that you risk your life."

          Hagrid's face lightened again. "Ah, well, yeh know …"

          "Yeah," James said. "The things you do are so dangerous, we're lucky to have you."

          "Well, it ain't really all tha' dangerous, I just, yeh know."

          "Oh it must be, Hagrid," said Lily in admiration. 

          "No, no, I just go out an' find news for Dumbledore, like about the Pattersons las' nigh' …" 

          "What?" asked Lily and James simultaneously. 

          Hagrid's face changed again. "Ah, now, don' you trick me, yeh two!" he said, annoyed with himself. "I shouldn' of told yeh anythin'."

          "Oh come on, Hagrid, we'll find out anyway," said James, raising his eyebrows slightly. "What happened to the Pattersons?"

          Hagrid looked thoroughly disgruntled at his own blunder, but sighed deeply. "All righ', if I tell yeh, don' yeh go tellin' no one else, yeh hear?" he said sternly. 

          Lily and James nodded furiously. 

          "They're dead," he said shortly. "You Know Who killed 'em the other week. I weren' s'posed to say nuthin', an' they're tryin' a' keep it outta the _Daily Prophet,_ so don' say nothin', all righ'?" 

          Lily and James were startled but nodded all the same as Hagrid wandered off, still looking annoyed with himself. They looked at each other with wide eyes. 

          "James, it's probably nothing, but I … I just think there's a pattern here."

          James breathed in deeply. "It's getting worse," he said quietly. 

          "No, I just mean … Prewits? Pattersons?"

          James looked away slowly, contemplating something. "P … before the Prewits it was the Peters. That was a few month ago."

          Lily nodded looking fearful. "James, you don't think … maybe –"

          "Don't," he said shortly. "Don't think about it." He drew her into a hug and looked over the top of her head at the castle. "We just have to know that we can get through this."

          "Promise?" she asked.

          He kissed the top of her vibrant red head. "I promise."

~#~#~#~#~

          Antonin Dolohov drew himself up proudly in front of Voldemort. "It is done, my Lord," he said clearly.

          Voldemort half smiled. "Good. Very good. You have pleased me, Antonin. You shall be rewarded."

          Dolohov practically trembled with pride. "Thank you, my Lord."

          Voldemort began to pace. "I feel now that we are able to sleep easy. For now. Then when time gets closer, we shall simply have to … improvise."

          Dolohov laughed softly.

~#~#~#~#~

          James would never ever forget what happened that evening as long as he lived. He and Lily walked hand in hand back into the Common room fresh from their newfound knowledge about the Pattersons, and Lily's cryptic feeling. James was not prepared to find the Common room empty save for Sirius, Remus, Peter and Dumbledore. They were all white and shaking, Sirius was sitting down, his hands over his face whilst Remus had his hand on the post of the bed as though he might fall if he didn't hold something. Peter was staring out of the window, looking completely lost. Lily and James stopped abruptly.

          "What on earth has happened?" she asked. Sirius looked sharply up and Remus took his hand off the post as they came in, but Peter did not move. 

          Dumbledore walked towards them. "May I have a word, James, in private?" he said softly, almost sadly. But James was looking at his friends and the grave expression on Dumbledore's face.

          "What's going on?" he repeated, looking at Sirius who had sunk his head back into his hands. "Professor?"

          "James, I must ask you to accompany me somewhere private –"

          "No!" said James more loudly than he had anticipated. "No, something's happened, hasn't it? I want to know, now!"

          Lily moved forwards and put a hand on his arm.

          Dumbledore said nothing, which angered James. He could tell that there was something terribly wrong and he wanted to know. "James, something has happened. You should know that –"

          "Professor, please. Just tell me."

          Dumbledore sighed. "Very well, James. Voldemort has struck again."

          James almost felt a wave of relief sweep through him and then felt sickened with himself. "It's OK, Professor, I know about the Pattersons. It wasn't Hagrid's fault but we just –"

          "It is not the Pattersons, James. It kills me to be the one to let you know that there has been an attack. On your parents."

          James blinked. So did Lily. He opened his mouth once, and then closed it again. "W – what do you mean, an attack?" he said after a second. Lupin grabbed the post again. 

          Dumbledore lowered his head. 

          "An … an attack, but – but they're OK, right? Do we need to go to St. Mungo's? We could go now –"

          "James," Sirius spoke from beneath his hands. "James, you can't."

          "What do you mean I can't?" he said, his voice breaking. 

          Dumbledore looked up again. "You cannot visit them, James, because they are no longer with us."

          "What do you –"

          Remus exhaled shakily. "They're dead, James. He killed them."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

  
  _A/N:_ ARGH! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! I know you hate cliffhangers! But I just had to! It was too good to miss! I almost cried writing this; I could just imagine James's little face and Sirius grief stricken … Argh! I'm going to be awful when I have to write you know what. Oh, for any comments about why wasn't the Rat's parents killed, that's because when I wrote her, I assumed she would probably support Voldie himself so she was no threat to him. I have no idea if he has a father. Anyway … REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!


	20. The Same Wavelength

**CHAPTER 20..:::::..  On the Same Wavelength**

** Disclaimer: **If you seriously think I need to keep this up then let me know cos' I don't think I do. You'd have to be a right dumb ass to think I owned Harry Potter anyway. Really, lets have a poll. 

**A/N: **OK, just to warn you, I have put in some stuff about Lily in this chapter that JK never picked up on or implied, but it does fit in the story so please do not flame me about being out of cannon or what ever. I've chosen to do it this way because then Lily can relate more so to James. Plus, there is never anything in the books that suggests that what I have written can't be, or isn't, true. Enjoy!

_GoddessMoonlady_: *Rosie hands Goddess a wand and bids that she frazzles Voldie's ass with it* I'm glad you were so moved by that chapter; it was very hard to write!

_Snivellus:_ Lol, your name is the whole reason I decided to do a Lily and James fic. I wanted to write the cocky Marauders! I hope you have read up to here in the fic, else you won't get this! Also thanks so much for all of your reviews. You've reviewed like every chapter you've read and it's really inspiring so thank you more than anything I give you the best reviewer title for this chappie! :)

_Lissa3:_ Aww, thanks for staying up extra late; I do that all the time with fics. You should write a fic like this; they're so much fun! Just have a simple plot, then it shouldn't spiral, and if it does, it should only be a little bit. Do you seriously like British accents? Lol, I love you Americans, you're so funny.

_Cara-meLissa:_ Yeah, you gotta love James and his slowness, but I think that the news would have stunned him so that he kind of doesn't want to believe it even if the truth is whacking him repeatedly in the face with a shovel. 

_LauraLou:_ Wassup, thanks for loving this story! I assure you, seriously, I am 16!

_Maulani:_ Thanks; I'm interested to know how I broke cannon; is it because it's not in order or something? I put in the deaths of the Grandparent Potters because I assumed that Voldie killed them. If they were James's parents, they must have been pretty powerful and in the book they are in the Mirror of Erised. Anyway ... thanks!

_Lady Rebecca_: Sorry! I had to do it. 

_Szhismine:_ That's ok, hysterical is fine. Just keep reviewing! Lol.

_Snuffles10:_ How did I think of the alphabet thing? Well, I wanted to kill of his parents (bit of angst, you know me), but Voldie couldn't know too much about the prophecy until after Harry has been born so I created dear old Magnus to find a tiny thing that would lead him to them.

_Coolcatjenny:_ Well, basically I killed off his parents because the story needs to get a move on. People who are reading this so close to the book know that Sirius is 17 now so as I haven't mentioned that he hasn't got his own place, I assume you will presume that he has. I don't know how many times he went round there for Sunday lunch, but I believed them to be murdered by Voldie because they were powerful wizards and in the time of him. Also, they were with Harry's parents in the book in the Mirror or Erised. Anyway, that's my take on it.

_Templa Otmena: _Aww, thank you, I'm glad it moved you. Lol. It was horrible to write this because I could just imagine the expressions that I was writing and it made me cry! If I were Pettigrew's mum, I would make the finger a talisman and stick pins in it.

_Quidditch Queen:_ I'm sorry! (I've said that to almost every single reader) but it had to be done!

_Crying: _I'm ever so sorry, I really do hope that you do not hate me. 

_Mystikalolo: _Glad you loved it; sorry I did it, but it kind of had to be done so the plot could continue! 

_Inkling: _Thanks for understanding! I'm getting flames now and it's upsetting because nobody realises how hard it was to write that chapter! Don't worry I would never dream of leaving you guys hanging like that – not for long anyway. I hope you didn't go and cry too much! Save your tears for the deaths of … of … *sobs and assumes everyone knows what she is talking about*.

_Padfoot: _*James thanks Padfoot for the hug and insists that it made him feel heaps better*. 

_Surge: _Well, James will propose soon, but I think I'll probably fast forwards to the wedding else this will go on forever. Which is fine. Lol. Hey, be privileged, you now have inside info!

_Fashiondiva: _Hmm, my Snape sympathy just doesn't seem to work on the Diva, does it? Lol. *Rosie secretly agrees as she also believes Snape is a pimple infested toilet seat*.

_Akira Gown: _Lol, the way you said on the run made me think that you were actually, '_on the run'_. I do hope you have not done anything illegal. 

*****HITS PLAY*****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

            "James, please, just listen to me –"

            James shook his head, his eyes wide and unfocused. Sirius gave a huge shuddering sigh, as though he was holding in a sob but daren't let it out. Lily put her hand to her mouth. 

            "Merlin, James, I'm … I –" She didn't know what to say. Nor, it seemed did James. He was shaking his head, as though if he did this enough times, what Dumbledore had just told him would cease to be true. 

            "This – this can't be happening," he muttered incoherently, his voice shaking. 

            Dumbledore moved forwards to grip his shoulder. "James, please …"

            But James shook his arm off violently and backed away, as though the rest of them were poisonous. "Don't touch me … don't … don't say anything."

            "I know how you feel …" Dumbledore began.

            "NO! NO YOU DON'T!" he roared so loud his throat hurt and he viciously turned the table over with trembling hands. Books went flying but nobody flinched except Peter. "You haven't got the faintest idea – "

            He looked around, as though seeing them all for the first time, and strode from the room, slamming the door behind him. Dumbledore followed his footsteps, moving towards the door that James had just slammed. 

            Before he could grasp the handle, Lily spoke in a thin high voice. "Don't," she said. Dumbledore lowered his hand. "Just don't."

~*~*~*~*~

Three days after Voldemort had arranged to have Edward and Maureen Potter killed, James was to be found in the Owlery gazing up at the snowy white and brown feathers falling all around him. He liked coming in here; the owls did not speak to him, they didn't know anything that had happened; it was almost normal. He had not spoken to anyone about what had happened after he had turned up a few tables in the Common room in anger and grief, at first refusing to believe any of it, that it couldn't be true, but it was true. His parents were dead. Murdered. James felt a burning white anger lick his insides and flare up again. This hadn't happened before; it was like the news had numbed all of his emotions but now, now he felt them screaming inside of him to get out. 

The door creaking open stung him from his boiling anger. It was Sirius. 

"James, why don't you come down and have something to eat?" he asked, concerned. There were lines around his forehead and his eyes appeared strangely sunken in his skull. "You haven't had anything for forty eight hours."

"No," he answered quickly. James looked up at him, angered that someone would interrupt him like this, now. "Not now, I'm not hungry," he said shortly, with some anger. 

The look on Sirius's face was enough to shift James's anger momentarily. Here was his best friend, trying to help him, almost as grief stricken as he himself was, and James was throwing it back in his face. 

"Sorry," he mumbled after a few seconds. Minutes passed as Sirius stood in the doorway, and the time came when Sirius knew that James would not, or could not say any more at this time. He turned to go and had his hand on the door –

"I loved them too, James," he said before he turned the knob.

James swallowed, still not looking at him. "I know," he croaked. He felt hot tears sting his eyes, the thing that he had been fighting for a long time. He hadn't cried since he was five years old. 

Sirius turned and looked at him. "They were good people," Sirius went on. "They had nothing to worry about."

James knew all of this and he knew that he should say something more, to thank Sirius for being there for him like this and not judging him for not realising the most obvious pattern. A pattern that he could have, should have, figured out.

"I – I know you're only trying to help, but I … I don't really want to talk about it." This came out more quickly than he had anticipated. It was as though someone else was speaking with his voice.

"I know you don't. That's why I'm asking." A smile broke out on his face. "I'm awkward like that."

James forced a smile.

Sirius shifted the weight on his foot. "I'm just going to say, that you're always welcome at my place. It's not much, I know, and I haven't been there for long so there are boxes everywhere, but I was always welcome at yours, so … well. You can stay whenever you want."

James felt more gratified than he could put into words. Instead, he gave Sirius a true smile. "Thanks."

Sirius put a hand on his best friend's shoulder and squeezed lightly before leaving, the knot in James's stomach slightly easing.

~*~*~*~*~

            None of the Professor's gave James homework for the next couple of weeks, something that actually angered him more than anything. Homework would have taken his mind off everything; off the startled glares he was receiving from his fellow students, the almost sympathetic tones from the teachers. The anger was taking the place of the gaping hole that had been left since his parent's death, and as the grief was slowly ebbing away with the pace of the snail, the anger seemed to be filling up more and more. James's temper was tested when he came face to face with Snape the very next day.

            Snape was coming up the stairs, writing something on a piece of parchment that was only inches from his nose. He almost walked straight past James, which indicated how engrossed in it he was. But when he spotted him, he stopped. His eyes narrowed, but there was no sneer playing around his lips. Severus Snape; feeling sorry for James Potter? James seriously hoped it was a windup; hating Snape was so much easier. 

            "Potter," he said, hands stuffing the parchment hastily in his bag. His voice was even, almost cool. James's temper got the better of him. Snape should not have the nerve to be calm in a situation like this. 

            "You sleep, right, Snape?" he said.

            Snape blinked. It may or may not have been the oddity of the question or it may have been the absence of the nickname of _Snivellus_. "What?" he said, eyes narrowing even more, a wary expression now framing his greasy face.

            "I know that if it ever came down to a proper duel between us that you would probably know more curses than me … but you do sleep."

            Snape clutched his wand in his hand. "What are you talking about, Potter? Has your parent's demise addled your already unstable brains?"

            James knew that if Sirius were here, he probably would have killed him, but he wasn't here. "You're very into the Darks Arts, Snape, aren't you? I suppose you hear things, right?"

            Snape's heart contracted with fear. Did Potter know something? Had he perhaps said something to Dumbledore? If he had blown his cover, he would be dead for sure. More subconsciously than he knew, he pulled the sleeve down on his left arm, as though Potter might have x-ray vision and see the Dark Mark that was burned into his skin. "I don't know what you're talking about," he lied.

            James breathed slowly. "If I ever find out that you knew anything about my –"

            "I didn't have anything to do with that," Snape spat truthfully this time, knowing exactly what James was talking about. "I had no idea. You can't blame me for anything, Potter."

            James nodded, as though pretending to believe him. "Well, if I ever find out that you did know something, Snape, I should warn you that you're going to wake up on fire." And he strode past him, making for the Great Hall, feeling slightly better and almost a vindictive pleasure in threatening somebody else and blaming someone for his own mistake. 

Snape tried to return his breathing to normal. Was the Dark Lord mad? Killing the Potters? Why on earth would he have done that? Despite the fact that he loathed James Potter, something was beginning to dawn on Snape. He had signed on for a life of causing death and murder, murder of people he knew, or knew of. Sooner or later, he _would _know the people. Before now, it had been fabulous; knowing things others didn't, being able to endure the Marauder's torture with the knowledge that he was doing the very thing that they all hated right under their noses … but now, for a reason unknown to himself, something seemed not quite right. 

~*~*~*~*~

            Dinner that evening was slightly more bearable than it had been for a long time since the tragic news had happened. Lily and Marietta sat with the Marauders, sometimes exchanging jokes, James laughing along with the rest and for the first time in a month, his heart felt pleasantly light. As though recalling, from a previous life, James realised that their first NEWT exam was in two days, and he had not revised a single thing. Lily seemed to know what he was thinking as they walked slightly behind the others after dinner back to the Common Room. 

            "Are you worried?" she asked him.

            "No," he lied. He was worried, as NEWT's were probably the most important exams he would ever do, if he wanted to be an Auror.  None of this had seemed to matter a few days ago, nothing at all.

            "You can't lie to me, James," she said. "But you don't have to, because I'll help you."

            "With what?" he asked.

            "What ever it takes, I'll get you through these exams."

            James half smiled at her. "Lily, I know you're Head Girl and all –"

            "–And your girlfriend –"

            "–And my girlfriend, but you don't have to patronise me or anything." 

            Lily narrowed her eyes. "I'm not going to patronise you. I'm going to help you. There's a difference, Mr-I-Know-Everything."

            James smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

            There was silence for a few minutes as the made their assent up the stone steps. Then Lily spoke. "So, really. Are you okay?"

            "I'm doing better," he said truthfully, but felt that he couldn't keep his guilt from her much more. "But I can't help thinking that …"

            "You could have stopped it?" she prompted.

            James hung his head and nodded slowly. "It was so obvious, I mean, you saw it before I did but it was too late."

            Lily clicked her tongue. "James, you cannot be so ready to take responsibility for someone's death. Do you believe in fate?"

            "No," he said shortly.

            "Why not?" she asked.

            "Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my own life."

            "Exactly!" she said, as though he had put his finger on the exact point she was trying to make. "Exactly, your _own _life. Not your parent's lives, James. Do _not _blame yourself. You are not in control of what Voldemort thinks or feels or feels reason to do. There was nothing that you could have done."

            "Do you really believe that?" he asked.

            "Yes, I do," she said without a trace of doubt. "I also believe that your guilty feeling was inevitable but that now, you should stop torturing yourself, because the truth is staring you in the face. It wasn't your fault. There is only one person to blame."

            James looked up, knowing who she meant and feeling slightly better. "Thanks," he mumbled.

            "I lost my parents too, you know," she said simply. James stopped and stared at her. He had never heard this before, nor had he ever heard Lily talk about her home life. 

            "B – but your sister …"

            "Oh yes, she is my sister, but the thing is, I was adopted when I was a baby. I never knew my parents, so I won't pretend I know what it feels like to really lose them, but I'm on the same wavelength."

            James mouthed like a goldfish. "Lily, how come you never told me?"

            Lily shook her head, completely unaffected by the subject. "My parents don't know that I know, but I heard them talking one day. It doesn't really make a difference or anything, because they'll always be my parents, but … I don't know. Petunia doesn't have a clue. You can imagine, of course, what it would be like if she knew."

            James frowned. "That must be – horrible."

            Lily laughed slightly. "No, it's not, they have loved me more than I could ever have asked for, but I just want to say that you never have to pretend with me."

            James made an odd expression. "Okay, I won't."

            "Come on, let's go and do some revision." She smiled and they walked hand in hand back up to the Common Room, James marvelling at the inner strength of the girl he was in love with.

(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)

            When all was said and done, James had to admit along with the others that the exams had actually not been bad. Lily had helped him almost constantly in the two days that they had left to revise with everything. James was a natural at almost everything, so they hadn't really had to work that hard; it was more just a recap. 

            "Well, that's got to be the hardest one of all," said Lupin as they walked out of the Potions exam, the last one.

            "Nah," said Sirius. "Did you see the perfect shade of turquoise mine went?" he said proudly.

"Did you smell the eggyness that came from mine?" said James. 

            Lily laughed. "It wasn't that bad."

            Remus frowned. "Tell that to Peter," he said as Peter came out of the classroom last, bandages wrapped around his hands.

            He smiled as he reached them. "This is only a precaution," he muttered happily. "I think it went okay," he added. The others exchanged looks. 

            "Wormtail, the only way that would be true, is if Snape wore a frilly pink dress," said Sirius. Then he frowned. "Come to mention it, we've never done that before."

            Peter flushed and looked away. 

            "Done what before?" asked Remus.

            "Dressed Snape in a frilly pink dress."

            Lily turned to him with a stern expression. "I'll have to report that if you're not careful."

            Sirius looked as though he had just been denied a real treat. Lily turned back to James. 

            "Well, by the looks of it, yours was ok," she said hopefully.

            James nodded. "It wouldn't have been if we hadn't looked up the Draught of Peace last night," he reminded her. "Thanks for that, by the way." They had both been up late into the night revising the very subject that came up. 

            Sirius smirked. "Is that all you looked up, Prongs?"

            "Padfoot," said Lupin warningly. 

            Sirius looked faintly indignant. "Why, Moony, do you always assume that what I say has hidden sexual content?"

            "Because, Sirius, you always say said phrases in a certain way."

            Sirius shrugged and muttered something about how misunderstood he was.

~@+~@+~@+

            As last Feast's went, this one had to have been the most enjoyable event of them all. Despite the seventh years being in slightly subdued moods at the end of their school years, there was also excitement about NEWT results coming soon and the fact that now they would be allowed out in the big wide wizarding world. The food was excellent; the House Elves had really pulled out the stops with fish, chicken, meats of all kinds, bowels of fruit, roast, boiled and mashed potatoes, boiled vegetables, salads, rice and a few foreign dished that James and the others would not touch. To follow were hundreds of puddings; fruit pies, crumbles, crème brules, ice cream and much more.  

            "Can bleeve zlast mil?" James said thickly through a mouthful of apple pie. Lily cast him a disgusted look.

            "Begging your pardon, Prongs, didn't catch that, mate," said Sirius.

            James swallowed loudly. "I said, can you believe it's our last meal here?"

            "I was just thinking that," said Lupin sadly. "It's gone so quickly."

            A sudden hush broke out over the Great Hall as Professor Dumbledore stood up for his end-of-year speech. He looked old and tired as he spoke. 

            "Another year, gone. Another batch of deeply talented students are leaving us, and although we will all be sad to see them go, I am sure that I am not alone in wishing them all the very best of luck for the future."

            As he said this, applause broke out over the Hall. The Marauders looked gratefully around the Hall, nodding at everyone, as though the applause was for them, and them only.

            Dumbledore continued when the noise had died down. "However, I must dampen this happy day with sad and serious news."

            James's heart contracted; surely Dumbledore wasn't going to mention his parents in front of everyone?

            "It will be of no news to any of you, as I am sure that you have just as much access to the newspapers and many grapevines as we teachers do, but I must mention, of course, the streams of deaths that have been happening outside of Hogwarts. We all know who is to blame, and I must impress once more, as I have done before, that we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. We are facing very dark and difficult times, and I am almost certain that many of us will suffer, but we must _stand together._"

            Only one person was not listening to this speech; Severus Snape squirmed painfully in his chair as the Dark Mark on his arm burned black.

^%^%^%

            After the Feast, it hadn't been difficult for Snape to get away; the flurry of students desperate to say goodbye to others and milling around all over the place, had not noticed him slip past them and make his way towards Voldemort. Every time Snape was summoned, he felt more and more apprehensive about it.

            He had only ever come face to face with Voldemort once before; when he had been initiated into the Death Eaters. Now, as he knelt before him on a faded carpet, he began, once again, to question what he was doing.

            "You are having doubts, are you not, Severus?" Voldemort hissed as Snape arrived. 

            "N – no, my Lord, none at all."

            Voldemort sneered. "Do not lie to me, Severus, I am an accomplished Legillimens, and nor am I stupid. It is natural to have doubts, Severus, but it is how we deal with these doubts that matters."

            Snape was breathing hard. "Yes, my Lord …"

            "I am aware, of course, that you are in the presence of Albus Dumbledore a great deal more than other Death Eaters. Have you had any conversations with him lately?" Voldemort was plainly trying to tell whether or not Snape had betrayed anything to Dumbledore. 

            "No, my Lord, I have not," Snape said truthfully. 

            Voldemort took a few seconds, concentrating, trying to see whether or not Snape was lying. When he straightened up, however, he seemed satisfied. "Very well, Severus. I was surprised to see, however, that you were not more joyous at the demise of the Potters. It was my belief that you and the young boy did not … get on?"

            "Oh, yes, my Lord, I am most amorous of your achievement."

            Voldemort sneered. "Very well. You may go."

            Snape scrambled up from the floor and left the house as fast as he could, a decision formed in his mind. What he was doing was wrong; he was not going to turn out like his father. 

(*)(*(*)(*)(*)

            Dumbledore started slightly, as a knock came on his office door. He wondered who on earth it could be as he was the only one left in the castle. Both teachers and students had gone home for the holidays. 

            "Come in," he said slowly. 

            The door creaked open, and there framed in the doorway was an anxious looking Snape.

            Dumbledore smiled. "Ah, Severus. Why are you not on the train home?" he asked, concerned. 

            The fact that he had missed the train only registered dimly in Snape's brain; he had more important things to do. "Professor Dumbledore, sir _ –_"

            "What is it, Severus?" Dumbledore asked. 

            Snape breathed deeply and cleared his throat. "There is something that I must tell you."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* _A/N:_ Slightly less sad? Yes? No? Both? Argh, tell me! Yeah, yeah, I know for the whole Lily thing … you may not agree, but I thought that it could be a reasonable explanation for the fact that Petunia looks nothing like her sister. Anyway. Please please give me nice long reviews!!!! 


	21. A Rather Spanking Plan

**CHAPTER 21..:::::..  A Rather Spanking Plan**

**Disclaimer:** Hmm. No preferences. In that case, I shall simply assume you no longer need to hear a disclaimer. 

**A/N: **Savvy? Sorry, I just saw Pirates of the Caribbean and I'm kind of besotted with it.

_Coolcatjenny: _Don't be fooled; Sirius is far from being settled down. 

_Snivellus: _Hi, ah, yeah, I know about the whole blood thing and I know it's not entirely believable … but hey. If she was adopted into the family, I guess she was part of the family, right?

_Quidditch queen: _Ah, the question to be popped … so near yet so far … Muhahaha. 

_Inkling: _Thanks, beautiful is perhaps an overstatement, but thanks anyway! I love being flattered! I would guess that maybe she was Muggleborn, but everyone calls her a Mudblood anyway because they don't know about the adoption. Therefore I guess it's not that relevant.

_Templa Otmena: _Aha, yes, sticking pins in the Rat himself would be great, but I doubt we would catch the slippery rodent. Besides, if it were a talisman, then he wouldn't be able to escape! Haha! I'm sick. But then again, you are too.

_Mystikalolo: _Thanks, glad you liked my joke. It's hard to be funny you know. Lol.

_PennyP: _Oh my, you caught me out. Yes, I am a Matrix stealer … but who isn't? Anyways, I love that line and it sounded to me like something that dear James would say!

_Lady Rebecca: _Lol, sorry about the whole bowels thing. I misspelled it, duh. Perhaps I shouldn't be doing English A level next year …

_Lily Pad: _Aww, thanks, glad you thought 20 was the **best **chapter! I was rather fond of it myself!

_Szhismine: _Sorry, sorry, but you must wait for the James angst … I promise you that there will be loads when I have to write … when I have to write … when the time comes. *Sobs*. Out of cannon is if it's out of sync with the story … I think, but hey, this is called fan **_FICTION_** so I don't know why people make such a House Elf about it. Thanks for not really caring about that!

_Little House girl: _Lol, you like Snape now? Oho, I have changed minds …

_Fan of fan fics: _Lol, like your name … and you know what else would be a sin? If you didn't review and give me nice long ones!!

*****HITS PLAY*****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*  

          Dumbledore sighed and lowered his hands, surveying Snape closely over his half moon glasses. "Oh, Severus," he said heavily.

          Snape bowed his head, ashamed with himself. 

          "Why?" he asked after a few seconds. 

          Snape swallowed. "I cannot explain, Sir. I just felt as though I were good for nothing else."

          Dumbledore nodded. "In that case, it is I who have failed you. I should have realised, Severus, and saved you from this terrible ordeal. You have done right in telling me this."

          Snape's breathing slowly returned to normal.

          "But," said Dumbledore slowly. "You have jeopardized many lives. That of your fellow students, mine, and your own. You must know, however, that it was terribly foolish –"

          " – I know, sir," Snape interjected. "Please, give me a chance to put it right."

          Dumbledore frowned. "And how, exactly, do you propose to do that?" he asked.

          "I will turn spy, sir! Allow me to spy on the Dark Lord! He will never know! I could –"

          "I am afraid that I cannot ask you to do such a thing," said Dumbledore sharply.

          "Professor Dumbledore, forgive me, but you are no longer my Headmaster, nor my guardian outside of home. It is not up to you to allow me to do anything."

          Dumbledore looked deeply at Snape. "You are sure about this?" he said seriously.

          "Yes, sir, more than anything. I have betrayed you, but I beseech you, allow me to rectify my mistake."

          There was a very long pause as Dumbledore thought about the proposal. Presently, he spoke in a very tired voice. "Very well, Severus," he said. "You are right, of course. I can no longer decide what is right for you, but I can help prepare you, if you are serious."

          Snape nodded. "Yes, sir."

          "Then, if you are, it is time for me to teach you Occlumency."

~*(~*)~*(~*)~*

          Three weeks after the school term had ended, James was to be found at Sirius's house, his very own house, one he had managed to buy after his flee from his parents. James was eating a square meal that Sirius had haphazardly cooked when the room was invaded by an owl.

          "Padfoot! Post!" James called through a mouthful of something that was supposed to be a potato.

          Sirius came through into the small living room, frying pan in one hand and wand between his teeth. He paid the bird with his free hand and took the three letters from it.

          After one look at the first one, he tossed it down onto the table in front of James. "It's for you," he said. Then he added with a smile, "She must know you're here."

          "Who?" But James knew who Sirius meant and pleaded ignorance to avoid embarrassment. Sirius smirked and disappeared into the kitchen once more. James excitedly ripped open the letter and read it.

          _Dear James,_

_How are you? How is it going over at Sirius's? (Do I even have to ask?) I can only imagine what the cooking's like. It's been ages since I've seen you and I'm missing you like crazy. Do you want to meet up sometime? Owl me back with your answer and your NEWT results. I got 2 O's, one 'E' and one 'A'! _

_Love, Lily. _

James's mouth went dry. _The results. _He had taken five, mostly to pursue becoming an Auror, whereas Lily had taken four. Sirius had also taken five, as he also wanted to follow up a similar career once school was over. Now was the time. School _was _over.

          "Sirius!" he called. 

          Sirius appeared quickly in the doorway, a look of confusion on his handsome face. "When one calls one by one's given birth name, one detects that something is afoot."

          James nodded towards the letters. "Our results," he said slowly. Sirius blinked. 

          "Ah. I see. Something is afoot."

          He sat down very quickly and chucked James's over to him. Simultaneously, they ripped open the letters and stared for a few seconds. James's mouth dropped open as he saw the results.

_          Dear Mr James Edward Potter. The results of your Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test's are as follows:_

_Charms:__ Practical: 'Outstanding'_

_                Written: 'Exceeds Expectations'_

_                Overall: 'Outstanding'_

_Transfiguration:__ Practical: 'Outstanding'_

_                              Written: 'Outstanding'_

_                              Overall: 'Outstanding'_

_Potions:__ Practical: 'Acceptable'_

_                Written: 'Exceeds Expectations'_

_                Overall: 'Exceeds Expectations'_

_Defence Against the Dark Arts:__ Practical: 'Outstanding'_

_                                                         Written: 'Outstanding'_

_                                                         Overall: 'Outstanding'_

_Arithmacy:____ Written: 'Acceptable'_

_                      Overall: 'Acceptable'_

_Results such as these will earn you either a job in the Ministry of Magic working either as a Foreign Intelligence wizard, in the Department of Mysteries or in the Auror Headquarters. Alternatively, you may want to look into a career of Goblin Translations. _

_Congratulations, _

_The School Board._

With the speed of light, James and Sirius swapped papers and stared at each other's. Both papers were identical.

          "Ha!" Sirius shouted. "I knew it! We're genius's!" 

          James stood up and joined his friend in dancing around the living room. "HA! WE'RE INTELLIGENT!" 

          "Who would have thought it?" said Sirius. "I didn't think I could get so excited about exam results!"

          "Ah, yes, but you already knew you would get 'O's, though, didn't you, Padfoot?" 

          Sirius suddenly looked cocky and confident, his excitement hastily hidden. "Oh, yeah, I knew, of course. But, you know … it's great anyway." James smiled. "Well done, Prongs. They'd be proud of you," he added.

          James half-smiled, knowing who Sirius meant. "Yeah, I know."

          There was a few seconds silence.

          "You know, I can think of a perfect way to celebrate."

          "Really? How? asked Sirius, still clutching the letter.

          James cleared his throat importantly. "I'm going to propose to Lily."

          Sirius's mouth dropped open. This answer was the most unexpected thing that he had ever heard. It was also the fact that James had said it so matter-of-factly, as though it was not a big deal at all. "Y – you're … what?"

          "I'm going … to propose … to _Lily_," he said slowly, as though Sirius were stupid and completely missing a completely rational point.

          Sirius shut his mouth again and swallowed. Opening it again, he tried to understand. "Prongs – I know that we're all hyped up and everything with … these results … and being able to – to be an Auror … but … Prongs – you're only 18!"

          James nodded slowly. "So…?"

          "_So … _What if she says no?" said Sirius, trying to think of a valid reason as to why this was not a very good idea but knowing that this was not the point. 

          James frowned. "She won't!"

          "How do you know?" 

          "Well, I don't … but I know I love her." 

          Sirius breathed deeply. It was true, they did love each other, any fool could see it, but it just all seemed too rushed. "Don't you think that it's just a bit … soon? You're not even living together!"

          "Yet."

          Sirius shook his head. "If … if it's what you want to do then … Prongs, I just don't want to see you get hurt. That's all."

          James laughed. "I'm not going to do it yet," he scoffed. "I'd crumble and die at her feet. I need to practise for at least a month. I haven't even bought a ring yet."

          Sirius nodded. "Marriage … James … wow."

          James raised his eyebrows and looked a bit awkward. "Is this a hug moment do you think?"

          Sirius twisted his lip. "It could be."

          "I think it should be."

          "Me to. It's a monumental event after all."

          They hugged quickly and then laughed, Sirius loudly.

          "Here, Prongs, you can have a stag night. Get it? A _stag _night?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

          "Well, _hic! _I think, it's _hic!_ tastic," Lupin said in a very slurred voice, clutching a bottle of Butterbeer and slumped next to the sofa in front of the fire in Sirius's living room. They were all a little worse for wear after the tenth or eleventh bottle purchased from Hogsmead a few days before, but Sirius and James were by far the most drunk compared to Wormtail and Lupin.

          "Well, I think you're _hic! _bloody mad, mate!" said Wormtail, slopping a little of the liquid down himself as he struggled to push himself up the stair he was sitting on, after failing to make it up to the second floor where there was a toilet. 

          "Please don't throw up on my carpet, Wormtail," said Sirius.

          "Why is he _hic! _bloody mad, eh?" said Lupin, words slurring more and more. "I say congrats, Prongs."

          James and Lupin clinked their bottles together, toasting. "Why thank you, Moony, my fellow chum. I think it's a rather _hic! _spanking plan, myself."

          "Here _hic! _here." 

          "Also," said James, struggling to sit up straight. "Congratulations for our _hic! _results." 

          Everyone nodded in agreement and they all toasted bottles yet again. "I cannot … _hic!_ believe you two get practically straight 'O's when _hic!_ you don't really try," muttered Wormtail taking another swig.

          Sirius looked faintly indignant. "_Hic! _What do you mean, we don't try? I opened three books the night before!"

          "Prongs didn't," said Wormtail sulkily. 

          Drunk as he was, there was a slight soberly warning tone in Lupin's voice as he spoke. "Yeah, well, Prongs had other things on his mind, didn't he?"

          Wormtail nodded apologetically. "Oh yeah."

          James shook his head and breathed out loudly. "I guess I'm just _hic!_ naturally brilliant."

          "I'm not," said Wormtail sullenly. "I got one 'A', and three _hic! _'P's."

          "But you're a rotten drunk, Prongs," said Sirius.

          James smiled and held up his bottle. "This, is also true." None of them seemed to notice the fact that Peter was obviously upset by the fact that his NEWT's were so abysmal. 

          Sirius sat up, struggling a little, and waved his bottle around. "OK, OK, I have an idea. Prongs, _hic! _I am Lily."

          They all snorted with laughter. 

          "And you have to ask me to marry you."

          James looked sheepishly at Sirius. "Look, mate, I know we're close and all that, but I just don't think of you like that."

          The others continued to roar with laughter, and James straightened up. "OK, OK. Lily, will you marry me?"

          "NO!" Sirius bellowed and continued to laugh. "No, wait a sec," he then narrowed his eyes and spoke in a very high pitched girly voice, attempting to sound like Lily but failing in light of his drunkenness. "Tell me why I should marry you, Jamsie."

          James grinned and then, to the surprise of the others, he went an unmistakable shade of red. "Look, I _hic! _don't want to talk about this now."

          There was an angry muttering. "Oh, come on, Prongs, don't get all embarrassed."

          James hiccoughed his loudest yet and looked in danger of vomiting but controlled himself. "All right then. Lily, you should go out with me _hic! _because, because …" he stopped hiccoughing. "Because if I can't spend the rest of my life with you, then there's not much left for me to do with myself. Because I think that I can make you the happiest girl, woman, on wizard's earth. Because … I love you."

          There was a loud silence in which James continued to go even redder, whereas the others looked at him, stunned. Presently, Sirius spoke.

          "Well, I guess that's reason enough."

~*~*~*~*~*~

          It took them the best part of two weeks, but the Marauders managed to club together a reasonable amount of Galleons so that James could purchase an affordable, yet beautiful, engagement ring. The lump sum of money came from Sirius, who had access to his parent's money, much to their disgust, until he was 20. Taking full advantage of this, he had withdrawn three hundred Galleons from Gringotts bank. 

          "You can't give me this much!" James protested when Sirius handed him an envelope.

          "Shut up," Sirius said sternly. "It's not my money. Best make good use of it while we can, eh!"

          Lupin had given James about fifty Galleons of his savings for which James was very grateful. Wormtail had only managed about ten Galleons, but James hadn't expected much more; Mrs Pettigrew was not rich and Wormtail had never had a job in all his life and combined with James's own savings of roughly two hundred Galleons, he had quite enough to be getting on with. 

          So it was with a heavy heart that James wandered along the path into the village of Hogsmead where he was about to meet Lily. In his pocket resided a gold ring encrusted with a beautiful blue diamond, called Lapis Lazuli. The shopkeeper had told James that it was very rare and women loved it. James saw that it was sparkly and had bought it at once. 

          She was early; James was not prepared for this; he had wanted to practice on his own. The others had helped him. ("Will you marry me might be a start," Sirius had said) but James had decided to follow Lupin's advice. _Be honest. Right. _

          Lily was holding a bag under her arm, her green eyes were sparkling and her red hair was fanning out in the wind. She wore a lacy white top and casual jeans, but this only made James more nervous; if she looked nice then he would have a hard time concentrating, and when one proposed, he really needed to concentrate. 

          "Hi," she greeted him, kissing him on the cheek.

          "H – hello," he said sheepishly. 

          Lily eyed him sharply. "Are you all right?" she asked apprehensively. 

          James refrained from saying what was on his mind. _No, I'm not all right because I am about to ask you the biggest thing of both our lives._ "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

          "I wouldn't be surprised if you had a hangover. You weren't drinking with Sirius and the others last night, were you?" she asked him. It was almost as though they were already married.

          "No," he lied. In truth, being drunk and practising a proposal on his friends was the only thing that would calm his nerved. 

          "So, shall we go and get something to drink?" said Lily. 

          "N – no," said James quickly. He did not want to propose in a pub. "I mean, why don't we go for a walk or something?"

          "A walk?" Lily repeated. 

          "Yeah. We never … walk." How lame could he get?

          Lily was looking slightly suspicious. "OK then …

***

          It was a breezy day and Lily wrapped her other arm around her waste, the other one interlocked with James's fingers. He hoped that his hands wouldn't get sweaty. 

          "So … we're walking, James," she said in a slightly amused tone.

          "Yes, yes, I suppose we are," he said.

          Lily stopped and looked him in the hazel eyes. "All right, what is going on? You've been acting weirdly for a while now. What was the matter last night on the telephone? You didn't forget how to use it again, did you?"

          "No!" said James quickly "I was tired, that's all."

          "Don't lie to me, James Potter," she said sternly. "There is something the matter. I mean, I can imagine Sirius acting oddly, but that's just the way he is. But Remus is never … mysterious and Peter couldn't keep a secret if all our lives depended on it. What is going on?"

          James tried to think of a random excuse, then decided against it. _Be honest. _"Lily … I love you. You know that, right?"

          Lily grinned and flushed slightly. "Yes, I know, and I love you too, but why are you –"

          " – The thing is … the thing is that … well I love you, so I was thinking of … I don't know, doing something about it. The thing is … when you love someone, like I love you, you should kind of prove it or something like that ... because you know, I love you …"

          Before he knew what he was doing, James had sunk to his knee, which was currently trembling violently. He wasn't aware that he weighed that much. Lily did not figure out what he was doing at first.

          "What on earth's the matter, James?" she said, concerned and bending down to his level. "Are you ill?"

          "No! No, Lily, you have to stand up, you have to –"

          " – What do you mean stand up?"

          "Please, just … stand up, so …"

          But Lily seemed to suddenly understand. "Oh, my goodness," she said, breathless and straightening up, hand running through her hair, which was blowing around her face.

          "L – Lily, will you marry me?" he said quietly, as though he had lost the use of his voice.

          Lily blinked, mouth open. "I … I … I – what did … what did you say?"

          "You heard me," he replied, voice seeming to come back, an odd ringing in his ears. 

          Lily looked away for a second and then back again. "Yes."

          James straightened up, flabbergasted. He had been so well prepared for her refusal and how he would deal with it if that had been the case … smile as if it didn't matter, walk away, maybe kiss her on the cheek and say it didn't matter. This was something he had not rehearsed. 

          "You … w – what did you say?"

          "You heard me," she repeated. 

          James grinned from ear to ear and hugged her. She began laughing, almost hysterically, into his shoulder. She was still laughing as he kissed her, then breaking apart he began to laugh too. 

          "We're getting married. _We're getting married," _Lily repeated over and over again. 

          "I thought you'd say no! Are – are you serious?" he kept asking her, as though this were a dream. 

          "I'm saying yes! Yes!"

          "Who should we tell?"

          "_When_ should we tell –"

          "Is your dad going to kill me?" James asked suddenly.

          "Well, yes, but … not for long," said Lily, waving a hand dismissively. "Oh, there's just so much to organise …"

          "I'll do all of that!" James interjected. "You don have to worry about anything."

          Lily grinned even wider and sat down on the grassy bank with a perfect view of the village. James sat down next to her and put an arm delicately around her shoulders.

          "This is what married couples do," he said quietly. 

Lily chuckled. "It's just like in the movies …" she said.

"In the what?" he asked. 

          "Never mind," she said and rested a head on his shoulder.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~ _A/N:_ Oh, there they go … engaged … Aww. So emotional. Well, things are moving on, so this means that there will probably only be about three or four chapters left. *Sobs*. Please give me nice lengthy reviews! Love you all. X 

Rosie


	22. Many Meetings

**CHAPTER 22..:::::..  Many Meetings**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Wow, that was uneventful. 

**A/N: **Hi all, I'm sorry that everyone wants it to be longer, but it has to stop at some point! Not really sure when, but I'll figure it out. Glad to see so many of you like Captain Jack Sparrow … me too. All those who don't have the foggiest idea what I'm on about, don't worry about it.

_Cara Melissa: _Thanks again, yeah, sorry, right up to death! Oh the sadness. *Sobs*.

_Laura Lou: _Wo, enough questions! Lol.  They are only 18, but time does fly when you're a fan fiction author. Literally. Glad to see you love Pirates as well. _("Stop blowing 'oles in my ship!")_

_Szhismine: _Glad you don't care much about cannon and all of that. Aha, another Jack Sparrow fan. Will is Legolas in LOTR, did you know. Yes, hoooot! 

_Lucy: _Hi, thanks for the review. Keep checking, it's hard work doing updates!

_Mystikalolo: _Calm it, Kermit! Yes, I am afraid they will die soon, unavoidable. Perhaps there will be a sequel of some kind, I'm not that clued up on ideas though! Any suggestions?

_Chris Black: _Um … yo ho, a pirate's life for me! That's a happy song right? (There's another line about really bad eggs or something but I can't remember.)

_Templa Otmena: _Hey Lou, glad you liked my irony and the jokes; I couldn't believe my luck when I came up with "stag night". It's great you like my Dumbledore; I love writing him but it's quite hard to get it right! Hmm, you have some interesting idea's about **"*^THE TWIST^*"** but it's nothing like that. Sorry! Sirius is destined to go bye byes. *Sobs and knows she cannot bring him back*. I shall give you a clue because I'm a charitable person … it's got something to do with a person who has not appeared in the fic at all but is very well known. Muhahaha. 

Oh, and Captain Jack Sparrow totally owns my heart. Orlando Bloom is also a contender but as I'm not fussy they, will have to sort that out between themselves.

_Drops of winter: _Aww, thanks, glad you liked it! Don't worry; all is forgiven.  

_Bloodstain: _First of all, OMG, thank you so much, you've like reviewed every single chapter. Just so as you know, in the _4th book_, it is clear that Snape was Death Eater, but changed sides before Voldie fell, so everyone trusts him, including Dumbledore. I was trying to portray that Snape kinda changed and then went back, so you could see how he battles with his conscience. Glad you think it's _deep_ as well. Lol. 

_James's: _Lol, cool name. As good as JK herself? Wow I am not worthy of such praise. Thanks for reading and I'm glad I can entertain!

_Inkling: _*Acknowledges applause and thanks everyone profoundly*. Thanks for the review; sorry I kept you up so late!

_Babygal: _Wow, I didn't know anyone else liked Peal Harbor! I'm completely obsessed with that film, (and Josh of course) but yeah, you're right. I did get the idea of Lily kneeling down from that. Bless Red. He was so sweet. Lol, I guess I should put that in the disclaimer! Mind you, everyone knows that I don't even own the plot as the whole thing spirals from JK. Obviously.

*HITS PLAY*.

          "Well, I shall I say once again, how happy I am for the pair of you," said Dumbledore, beaming down at James and Lily who were sat nervously in his office holding hands. 

          "Thanks, Professor," said James.

          Dumbledore waved a hand. "Oh, there is no need for such niceties to be observed, now, James," he said. "I am no longer your Headmaster and you are no longer my pupil. Therefore, you may call me what you wish."

          James didn't really know what to say to that, so he contented himself with a smile.

          "A date has been set then?" asked Dumbledore.

          "Yeah," said James. "It was difficult, you know, Christmas and all that, but I managed it … with a little help."

          Sirius had bribed the vicar is what he actually meant. Dumbledore smiled wryly.

"And if my sources are correct, it appears that another congratulations is in order for you, James. Fudge tells me that your application for the aptitude tests of Auror training has been accepted. Is that so?"

"Yeah," said James, glowing. "They'll like me hopefully," he added, remembering the Ministry of Magic most probably knew him as a troublemaker. "And Sirius too, he wrote in as well."

"Yes, yes," said Dumbledore. "I am sure you would both make excellent Aurors."

Lily cleared her throat, as if wanting to get the subject back to something that she wanted to talk about. "You will come to the wedding, won't you?" prompted Lily.

          Dumbledore chuckled. "Why yes, my dear. I would not miss it for the world."

**$$$**

          On that very day, however, there were two people who did miss the wedding. Two people who James missed very much, even more so as he was waiting at the alter for Lily. His parents, of course, were not there. Lily's were, of course, minus Petunia and quite frankly, James could not blame her after the letter incident. Lily's father had not, thankfully, murdered James but had given him a formal pat on the back and a stern word in his ear whereas Mrs Evans had grabbed James around the neck and kissed him on the face five times and only stopped when Lily rescued him. 

Lily looked beautiful; dressed in a small silk dress of white satin and a single lace tie at the back of the neck. James had never worn a suit in his life and the Marauders had a joyous time taunting him for doing so until he reminded them that they too would be wearing a suit, Sirius included if he wished to remain best man. 

Almost everyone James had ever known was there; the three Marauder's, obviously, Wormtail looking ridiculously out of place in a suit but forgetting about it somewhat after a few glasses of Champaign, Sirius had chosen to forget about his appearance by smooth talking almost every single female in sight holding alcohol, and Lupin looked happier than he had in months, all werewolf transformations forgotten. Dumbledore was also there, as promised, and spent most of his time bidding people to try the delicious finger sandwiches that he was rather attached to. Lily and James had also invited many of the Professors from Hogwarts; McGonagall was there along with Flitwick, and so were a great deal of the last seventh year along with almost every single Potter relative. Lily's whole family was there too, her parents looking slightly nervous at first at being the only Muggles in range of such a largely populated wizard gathering, but soon settling in. 

          All in all, much to the surprise of everyone, it went without a hitch. They said their chosen vows quite pleasantly and only fought about who would receive the biggest portion of cake, which had strange little moving miniature Lily and James figures on top. Much to the utmost surprise of almost every single guest who knew Sirius, his best man speech was not, in fact, filled to the brim with sexual innuendos as James had painfully imagined, but was instead filled with why he thought that James and Lily would be together forever and how close he was to the pair of them, and for that, James was thankful and slightly impressed (Sirius was on his ninth glass of Champaign.) Sirius blushed as red as the beetroots on the table as Lily gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered, "thank you" in his ear. 

          It would, perhaps, be the last day of the next sixteen or so years that Sirius would truly smile. For it was when the wedding finished, the trouble began.

**)()()()()()(**

          "It's really weird being back here," Lily said to James, almost nine months after they had left Hogwarts. "Don't you think?"

          "I wish I could focus on how weird it is," James said seriously. "I'm more worried about why he wanted to see us."

          "Yes, I suppose so," agreed Lily. They knocked simultaneously on the office door.

          "Come in," said an old voice from inside. Lily and James entered. "Aha, the newly weds. How is married life treating you?" he asked politely.

          "Fantastic," said James with a smile.

          "Yes, it's really great," said Lily. "Better than I imagined."

          There was then a silence that James did not like at all. "Um, Prof – I mean, Albus, why did you want to see us?" he asked seriously.

          Dumbledore's kind face suddenly turned very grave. It was not a comforting sight to witness. "I am afraid that there is something that we need to discuss."

          Lily and James exchanged looks. 

          "I am sure that you have doubtlessly heard that Voldemort has continued his killing sprees and is, as we speak, gathering more and more allies in his quest for total domination. The both of you being the intelligent magical folk must have realised that there are some who resist. Some who do not lie down and simply allow Voldemort to take over. I am one of them. There are more."

          James frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked.

          Dumbledore lowered his gaze. "I have decided, based on your chosen career path, James, and your undeniable intelligence, Lily, that it is time that you too were also a part of this group. But … before I tell you about it, I must ask your advice.

          Lily paused. "On what?" she asked.

          "I am thinking of, shall I say, '_recruiting_', more people into this organisation. Your friends, James, for one. I must ask you personally, whether you believe them ready of such a commitment."

          James shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I'm sure that they would be, but it's – it's a bit difficult for me to answer that when I don't really know what kind of organisation we're talking about here."

          Dumbledore nodded. "Fair enough. Then it is time, for me to tell you about the Order of the Phoenix." 

          There was another pause until James spoke. "I've heard that name," he said slowly. "My parents used to talk about it sometimes."

          "Yes, that is probable. Although they were never a part of the Order, they were kept informed of some movements."

          Lily paused, looking half excited, half apprehensive. "So, what exactly _is_ the Order?" Lily asked. 

          Dumbledore looked closely at them. "Before we discuss this, I must impress that it is an incredibly secret organisation and that Voldemort is not completely wise to our missions. I know I do not have to tell you two, but do not mention it to anybody until I have further decided whether or not they will have a part in it."

          "Of course," said James. "You have our word."

          Dumbledore smiled. "The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society, founded by me. People who work for the Order are well-trained people who will fight against Voldemort. We have spies of our own, finding out details and information of Voldemort's movements and his future plans. A great deal of our spies are stationed in the Ministry of Magic, as you can bet your lives that Voldemort will have his own there. It is very difficult to know who to trust; who is under the Imperious Curse and who is acting of their own free will? Many of us are, or were, Aurors. Others are strong and intelligent people who will not stand down and simply let Voldemort take over. We have a number of Headquarters abroad, some in France for the French members and in Germany. There is talk of it spreading to America."

          "People that far out have joined?" said Lily. "Even though Voldemort doesn't directly affect them?"

          "Yes, but what they are beginning to realise is that sooner or later, Voldemort will affect them. He will affect the whole world if given the chance."

          James cleared his throat. "So, who's in this Order then?"

          Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "There are far too many to name, but the important ones that you will need to know about here in England are these: Alistor Moody, sometimes known as Mad Eye Moody for his unfortunate glass eye –"  

          "Mad Eye Moody?" James interrupted. "That famous Auror?"

          Dumbledore smiled. "The very one. He is currently working in Scotland so you will not be meeting him for some time –"

          "What's he doing in Scotland?" asked Lily.

          "Spying," answered Dumbledore. "Searching for known Death Eaters in that area said to be trying to gain more followers for Voldemort. Also, there is Deladus Diggle, an Auror in training, Marlene McKinnon who is also trying to recruit her family, Sturgis Podmore, Frank and Alice Longbottom –"

          "The Longbottoms?" said James quickly. "Are those the children of –"

          "Yes, indeed, Frank is the direct descendent of the unfortunate Longbottom seniors, murdered as you know, by Voldemort. Emmeline Vance joined very recently, only a few months ago, against my better judgement of course, Benjy Fenwick, a friend of your parents, James. Also amongst those you may know, Edgar Bones –"

          " – Oh, yes, I know his sister, Amelia," said Lily.

          "Let me see, who else … ah yes. Cardoc Dearborn, nephew of Mad Eye, Elphias Dodge, Arthur and Molly Weasley, who I'm sure you have met … and you should know that the late Prewett brothers were in the Order."

          "D – do you mean the ones who were killed?"

          "Yes. Oh of course, also my brother, Aberforth, who I rarely see, of course. He prefers to work with the Welsh unit in Abergavenny. Also there is Dorcas Meadows and … oh yes. How could I forget? Hagrid."

          "Hagrid?" Lily and James said simultaneously in an incredulous fashion. 

          "Yes, I thought that might surprise you. He has to work very hard, you know, at keeping quiet, what with all the curious student interaction …"

James smiled. "I can remember giving him a hard time about not telling me what he was up to."

"And of course, there are we Professors. Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, who prefers not to fight but keeps watch over many of the Headquarters, and myself, of course."

          There was a silence as Lily and James got over the magnitude of the Order. 

          "Make no mistake," said Dumbledore seriously. "The Order of the Phoenix is an incredibly dangerous organisation. Voldemort knows it exists, but that is about it. Signing on to join means committing yourselves to almost certain danger. The work we are involved in can be described no less than perilous as the Death Eaters we fight show no mercy to enemies of their master. You must want to join with all your hearts."

          Lily and James looked at each other, their minds already made up. "Of course we'll join."

***((*))*((*))*((*))***

          After learning more about the Order, James had assured Dumbledore that his friends, Peter, Lupin and most definitely Sirius should join. Dumbledore had his misgivings about Pettigrew joining, worried that perhaps he may not be skilled enough, but James had overridden him.

          "He's perfectly capable," he had said as Dumbledore brought this up a few weeks afterwards. "I know he's not exactly … _sharp_, but he's honest enough. We can't have all three of us joining and not him. He's our best friend!"

          Dumbledore had relented of course at this, but was dubious all the same. 

          "I can't believe it!" Wormtail had said three days after Dumbledore had informed he and Remus of the Order. He had told Sirius straight away after James and Lily. "I mean, me! In a big … thing!"

          "It's called an Order," said Lily.

          "Yeah," said Sirius slowly, taking a sip from his goblet. They were in the Three Broomsticks. "Me too," he added quietly.

          Peter heard and turned sharply to Sirius. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said snappily. Lupin and James exchanged glances. 

          "Well, nothing," said Sirius uncertainly, "But it's just … this is a big thing, Wormtail. It's not for the faint hearted."

          Peter looked indignantly around. "I am _not _faint hearted!"

          Sirius said nothing. Peter looked around to Remus, James and Lily. 

          "You don't think I am, do you?" he asked.

          James stammered, not wanting to hurt his feelings. "W – well, no … it's just … it's very dangerous."

          "And you do always say how frightened of Voldemort you are," Lily pointed out, taking a bite from her bread roll. 

          "That's my role!" said James quickly, forgetting the subject. 

          "I was hungry," said Lily coolly. "Married couples are supposed to share."

          James looked put out, but relented all the same. Peter turned to Remus. "Moony, you don't think I'm incapable, do you?"

          Lupin frowned and sipped his Butterbeer. "I think that Dumbledore wouldn't have asked you to join if he thought that you were."

          Peter beamed, not realising that Remus had cleverly avoided giving his own opinion on the matter.

          "However," Lupin said slowly. "The others are right. This is a big thing, Peter. If you ever feel like you can't cope –"

          "I CAN COPE!" Peter said loudly. The whole pub turned to watch. Lupin lowered his goblet and spoke into it.

          "I was only saying."

***((*))*((*))*((*))***

          But three years into the Order, James and Lily had to admit to each other that it was not all it was cut out to be, and if they were having trouble coping, Peter must nearly be a wreck. Only two weeks into their induction there was an attack on both of them when they were on their first mission; spying on four Death Eaters in a cave, supposedly talking about Voldemort's plans. It was a narrow escape; James had to fire three Stunning spells into the Death Eaters, but it was Lily's anti Dissaparation jinx that allowed them to get away. They careered back down to Head Quarters, saying that they had cornered the three Death Eaters, but once they had gotten back there, they were gone.

          "Voldemort must have come," said James slowly.

          There was another lucky escape such as this only six months later. A group consisting of Lily, James, Pettigrew, and Emmeline Vance were asked to search the house that Voldemort had once inhabited. It was said to be safe now, as all of Dumbledore's sources told him that Voldemort had vacated this house months before. This was a mistake, however, that nearly got them all killed. As Peter moved from room to room, he disturbed a group of Death Eaters, all crouched, retrieving something. After shouting for help, the others came to his aid, but not before seven other Death Eaters, along with Voldemort had Apparated next to them. All were momentarily frozen as none had ever come face to face with the Dark Lord himself. It was James who recovered first, placing a hugely magnified Shield Charm around the group which should have kept them safe long enough for an escape. Peter panicked and began to whimper. After Lily and Emmeline sent a few well-placed spells at the Death Eaters and James had more than once shoved Peter out of harms way, they had all Disaparated seconds before Voldemort shattered the Shield with the killing curse. Dumbledore was terribly fractious with himself afterwards, thinking he should have known that it was a trap to vanquish powerful Order members, but as they were all right, no damage was done, except James having a few words with Dumbledore about Peter.   

          The third time they came across Voldemort was when they were completely alone. Lily and James were not on any mission, not doing anything specific for the Order, when on a two-day holiday break in Scotland, Voldemort and his Death Eaters Apparated around them in a wood. Voldemort had thought that they were onto his movements in Scotland, which later proved to be horrifying news as unknown to them, he was planning more murders, and so had Apparated there himself to stop them from getting far. They were, of course, doing nothing of the sort. Far from being a relaxing break, the trip was the most trying moment of Lily and James's life. 

          "Ah, the young Potter," Voldemort had said. "Now a member of Dumbledore's foolish resistance. I thought it would be so."

          "You won't think it's foolish when you're in the ground," James had retorted, hoping that Lily was doing some very quick thinking. 

          Voldemort had narrowed his eyes. "Careful, boy, that attitude might get you in the same position as your parents."

          Words that Lily had said to him years ago, when James had become angry in his training, echoed in his head. _Never attack in anger._ If he did that, he would be acting on his rage and not rational thought, therefore making them both easy targets. The taunt about his parents fell dead on the ground, and James ignored it. 

          "You know, a considerate mega – evil wizard would let two people be alone on a break for a couple of days before returning to wanting them dead."

          Voldemort chuckled. "Ah, yes, Bellatrix told me you had an interesting manner. Alone with the young lady, eh? Another Pureblood family to be contaminated with filth."

          They both ignored this and simultaneously bellowed, "EXPELLIARMUS!" 

          The Death Eaters wands soared through the air and landed with a thud meters away from them, but Voldemort had kept a hold of his. They had expected this, however, and before he could utter a spell, a combined effort of a huge hex kept him at bay long enough for them to Dissaparate. It had been a very close call, and Lily and James would not forget it in a hurry.

He and Sirius were now, three years on, very close to becoming Aurors. They had taken all the tests and were waiting for the answers from the Ministry. It was therefore vital that they performed well in the Order, as the Ministry probably knew everything that went on there also. Remus had tried to apply but of course, he was shunned because of the werewolf situation. He acted like it was no huge deal, but inside it hurt like nothing else.  

***((*))*((*))***

          Peter had another blunder not weeks after the Ministry had rejected Remus. After being sent on some simple collective research for the Order, he had accidentally taken the wrong path, and had stumbled across a few Death Eaters in their hiding places. They cornered him, no doubt wanting to torture him into telling them Order secrets, when he sent a jet of red sparks into the air. Fortunately, more Order members were close by, and Sturgis Podmore and Dorcas Meadows saved him. Dumbledore was growing more and more worried at Peter's involvement, and called a meeting for which everyone should attend one cold winter's evening. 

          The closest meeting Headquarters were held in Lily and James's new house. Unbeknown to James, his parents had kept a large fortune that they had sat on and kept very secret so that no other family members knew about it. James was to inherit it when he turned twenty and it was a very unexpected birthday present, which came at a fantastic time. Though Lily had since left home, the place they were staying in was not ideal; it was a small flat in Hogsmead for which they could only afford the rent every other month. This meant that they stayed at Sirius's house sometimes. He did not mind in the least; on the contrary, Sirius was very happy when they came to stay, as he was glad of the company. Although he would never have wanted to go back home to the family he left behind, it was a very strange sensation, growing up. Sirius often wished that he shouldn't have to ever grow up and wanted to stay young and childish forever. 

          Due to this newfound money, Lily and James bought a nicely sized house in Godric's Hollow, which could be reached from a track leading off the west of Hogsmead. The Marauders were all very impressed by Lily and James having their very own house, and Sirius called them, _old and maturing._ It was true; they were finally beginning to settle down, something that neither would have believed they ever would. James had a much more strained look about him than he had done when he was a teenager; he looked as though he had had to mature very quickly in a short space of time. Things were different for Remus also; his brother had since left home long ago, and Remus had the house to himself. It was very small, however, and therefore not suitable for Order meetings. Peter still lived with his mother, which did not surprise the others in the least. 

          Nearly every local Order member was sat around the Potter's dining room table, save Hagrid, Moody, the Weasleys and Dumbledore's brother, all of whom were on official Order business. Everyone had a wine glass in front of them and a snack, (Lily had protested at cooking meals for everyone) and there was a peaceful atmosphere in the air. The topics they were discussing although were important, were not very interesting, so everyone was relaxed.

          "So what are we going to do about the house then?" asked Sirius as he drained his goblet, reaching for the bottle.

          He spoke to James, who seemed to have emerged as a leader. Despite the fact that they were still the best of friends, Sirius still looked to James for answers. "Well, we'll have to storm it at some point. I don't think that Voldemort himself will be there at the moment; he'll still be in Scotland."

          Lily leaned over. "I have to say, I don't like the sound of the word, _storm,_ James."

          James smiled. "It's a verb, Lils. The worst thing that can happen is that there's a few stray Death Eaters on watch there. If there's not, then we can search it."

          Dumbledore nodded. "Good plan. But we should send at lease five of you."

          "Why not more?" asked Lupin, nibbling on a carrot stick. 

          Dumbledore's face darkened. "In case of … accidents, there is no need for unneeded losses."

          There was a silence that followed this. Dumbledore straightened up and looked around as though there was something he wanted to say, but didn't really want to do it here. He turned to Peter, who was stuffing his face with a bread roll.

          "Peter, when ever you have the time, I should like a word, if you please."

          Peter stopped chewing and looked at Dumbledore. "About what?" he asked through the bread. 

          Dumbledore hesitated. "It … concerns your work … in the Order."

          Peter looked unfazed. "Why can't you just tell me now?" he asked. 

          James shifted restlessly in his chair and exchanged glances with Lupin and Sirius. He knew what Dumbledore was going to say. 

          "Because, Peter," Dumbledore said calmly, willing himself to keep his voice level. "I do not wish to announce it in front of the entire Order."

          Peter suddenly looked wary. "What is it?" he repeated. "Something's wrong, isn't it? Just tell me now!" he said more urgently. 

          "Peter," said Remus warningly. "Not now."

          "Why not? Why shouldn't we talk about it now? This is a perfect time, isn't it? A meeting?"

          Dumbledore looked at Peter. "Peter, I do not want to talk about it now because I do not wish to embarrass you."

          Peter scoffed, mouthing and looking indignant. "Embarrass me … couldn't possibly – Dumbledore, just say it now! For Merlin's sake."

          Dumbledore took a deep breath and put his hands together. "Very well, Peter. It has become apparent to me, of late that … that things have not been going so smoothly for you in the Order."

          Peter blinked. "Smoothly? What do you mean?"

          "Last week, on Kingman's Hill, where you ran into those Death Eaters?"

          Peter chuckled. "Oh, yeah, that was just a navigation problem."

          "A navigation problem? You were nearly captured!" said Lily suddenly. "If you had been caught, they would have forced everything out of you and then we'd all be –"

          " – That is enough, Lily," said Dumbledore sharply. 

Lily fell silent. 

"Peter, I mean to say, that … what with everything that has happened, and will happen, I am not sure if it is such a good idea for you to be – involved in this."

There was a very loud silence. The bread was still in Peter's mouth but it seemed that he had forgotten to chew. "Why would you think that? It was only the one time –"

"I am afraid that it was not only the one time. James has told me of –"

"Oh, has he now?" Peter spat viciously, looking at James who had lowered his head and went slightly red. 

"This isn't James's fault, Peter," said Sirius.

"No, it never is, is it!" Peter said furiously. "It's never the golden boy's fault! He is always doing the right thing, but little stupid Peter –"

"Peter, please forgive me," said Dumbledore slowly. "I am considering your position based not on one of your performances or one tale from somebody. I have been surveying you myself, and it is not James's fault. In fact, he was most reluctant in telling me of how you lost your nerve in the face of Voldemort."

Peter began muttering incoherently. "Lost my nerve … reluctant?"

"I believe it is for your own safety. You may remain in the Order, of course, but I must ask that you are not present on any missions as of yet."

Peter stood up abruptly and strode out of the room. Sirius cleared his throat. 

"Well, that didn't go too well, did it?"

***((*))*((*))***

          After everybody had left the house, James felt a tight knot in his stomach. He was unhappy that Peter had left so abruptly and upset. If he hasn't said anything to Dumbledore, then perhaps it wouldn't have happened. _But then he'd still be in danger,_ he told himself. Lily sensed that he was unhappy and wandered over to him, still sat at the dining room table. 

          "It's not your fault, you know," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

          "It is," James said. "But I suppose it's for the best."

          Lily squeezed his shoulder. "I know he's one of your best friends, but even Dumbledore wasn't sure about him being a part of it at the very start, do you remember?"

          "Yes."

          "It's all happening now," said James. "We're fighting amongst ourselves."

          "Stop talking so … maturely," Lily said.

          James grinned. "Not used to that, are you?" 

          Lily smiled. "I'm used to you hexing people because you can, ruffling up your hair because you think it made you look cool and sweet talking every girl in sight."

          James grimaced in a painful smile. "Good times."

          Lily's grin widened. "Prat," she said.

          James raised his eyebrows. "Ha! Know-it-all."

          "Hey! I'm not the one who got four 'O's in my NEWT's."

          James inclined his head. "This is true. OK, dumbo."

          Lily looked faintly scandalized and went to the stairs. "I'm tired. All this talk's making my head hurt."

          James nodded. "Me too," he said yawning. "Come on," and he followed her up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~ 

_A/N:_ AAAAAAAAAAAnd guess what happens next? … *Grins slyly that she has managed to get out of writing an embarrassing scene*. It's all getting closer now … *sob* so please … review! Goddamit! While you still can! Ahem. 


	23. Boiled Fish & Babies

**CHAPTER 23..:::::..  Boiled Fish and a Baby**

**Disclaimer:** Right. Let's spice things up a bit. Iceberg! Dead ahead! I'm kidding.  Or am I?

**A/N: **Hi everyone, I'm so sad, I've seen Pirates like, 5 times at the cinema. Yes, the shame. But ah, the Johnny. Anyways … this is about Lily and James! Sorry! Yes, drawing to a close I am afraid … soon the time shall come … but not yet. SO don't you dare stop reviewing!

_Drops of winter: _Yes, I'm afraid that they are! Keep reviewing!

_Quidditch Queen: _I totally agree on the Colin Farrell front. But, I have to say that I'm a bit confused by your review; what do you mean, _you better fix James? _I'm sorry if you don't like my characterisation, but what has happened to James is really very simple. He is growing up. Or has grown up in fact. I'm sorry if you don't like the way that I have done this, but it has to happen some time or another. 

_Miabubble: _Lol, yes you guess right. They did! Lol. You may act like a ten year old. I have no reservations. Thanks for commenting on the jokes in the exam parts; oh and I would have put firewhisky if I could remember it! I knew there was another strong drink in the magical world, but my mum had stolen the book again so I couldn't check! Sorry!

_Aroses: _Um … right now! Enjoy!

_Szhismine: _Wo, questions to be answered! Ok, here goes. First of all, yes, he will, secondly, yes she will, thirdly, sadly not as they have to die at some point! Fourthly, um not in this story but perhaps I'll write another little fic with that as a subject, sixthly, some will some won't. Hope that answers all of your questions! I used to like Orlando Bloom loads and loads, but now I come to think about it, Johnny Depp is a real man … lol. 

_Tomoe: _You have never reviewed? Since June? Ah! *Looks scandalized*. Oh well, you can redeem yourself now by giving me nice long reviews. Lol. Thanks.

_Lady Rebecca: _The best chapter? Out of them all? Wehey! Thanks!

_Cara-meLissa: _Uh, yeah I think it'll be quite dramatic. I hope it will! And it really depends on how emotional I get when writing it. I'm gonna need a box of tissues so it's up to you whether you think you can stomach it!!!

_Sunny chika: _Uh yeah, text is kind of preferable in reviews. Lol. But what you said was indeed meaningful. So thank you.

_Calimora: _Uh, sorry I think you are mistaken if you are implying that James is a Chaser. In book 5, JK clearly accentuates his _SEEKER _reflexes and Sirius has at least once made reference to the fact that James was also a seeker. In book 1, Harry sees the shield in the Trophy room and it says under the team, James Potter. Seeker. Sorry.

_Alana: _Wahoo! Somebody commenting on my disclaimers! Thank you so much!

*HITS PLAY*.

          "I – I don't … I don't understand," James said in a panicked fashion. "What do you mean, pregnant?"

          Lily held up her hands in a flustered way, clearly irritated by her husband being so slow off the mark. "How many other ways can I mean I'm pregnant?"

          James opened and closed his mouth at least six times before being able to form coherent speech. "B – but … I … are you sure?"

          Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm sure. I'm positive."

          "Positive?" James repeated. "But … but we were careful!" he said, as though there was no possible way that what had actually happened could have happened.

          "I know we were! But … obviously we weren't careful enough!" Lily breathed out, shakily. James was looking stunned and flabbergasted.

          "Then why the hell do they sell those things if they don't work?" James said frowning. "I should have known better than to trust that stupid Muggle stuff!" 

          Lily sighed. "Well, they're _90%_ safe or something like that."

          James raised his eyebrows and spoke in a disbelieving fashion. "_90% _safe! Well, what about the other _10%_ then, eh? What do they have to say about _that_?"

          "Well, the result, funnily enough, Sherlock, is this," said Lily matter-of-factly.

          James looked down breathing heavily. Finally he said, "Pregnant? Are you sure?" he repeated, almost pleadingly, his hazel eyes searching hers.

          "James!" Lily said in a raised voice, trying to bring him to his senses. 

James's eyes came back into focus. 

"We need to think about this!" she said.

          There was a long pause as this sentence fell. James squinted his eyes. "Well, what's there to think about?" he said simply.

          Lily looked at him as though she had misheard him. "W – what do you mean?" she asked. 

          James shrugged. "Well, you do want a baby, don't you?" he said.

          Lily blinked furiously. "W – well … y – yes, of course I do, but I just … thought that you …"

          "What?"

          "Well, I do … definitely, but … isn't it a bit soon? For us?" she said apprehensively. 

          James shifted his weight. "Don't you mean, for me?" he said in a low voice.

          Lily looked uncomfortable. "Of course not. No, it's just … I mean I thought that we would – you know … eventually … and I really want this baby … but what about –"

          " – What about what?" 

          Lily looked down. "The Order?"

          James chuckled nervously. "I think we can swap chores of saving the world with someone else for a few months! Don't you?"

          Lily's eyes were suddenly wide. "So … this is it, then? You're sure?"

          James's expression matched her own; almost childish excitement. It was more; it was ecstatic. "Yes, I'm sure! Are you?"

          "I said I was! We're really going to do this!"

          They moved forwards quickly, and Lily hugged him, burying her face into his neck as emotion took over her. _She was pregnant._

          "We're going to have a baby!" said James through her hair. "We're going to have a baby!" 

          They began to jump up and down, new possibilities coming quickly to them, unseen memories and a new lease of life. The neighbours next door wondered faintly what all the commotion was about before returning to their washing. 

**(*)(*)(*)**

          It was time soon, Magnus could feel it in his heart. Perhaps now, finally, the Dark Lord would let him rest. The Prophecy would be made soon … he could feel it. Perhaps now, finally, he could be rid of the Dark Lord. He gathered up his tools and set off for the Dark and unplottable Headquarters to inform him of this news.

**(*)(*)(*)**

          "She's WHAT?" yelled Sirius when James and Lily told him and Remus in their kitchen. "SHE'S WHAT?"

          "Will you keep your voice down?" said James. "We've already had complaints about the noise."

          Sirius and Lupin exchanged smirks and muffled silent laughter.

          "I – I didn't mean that kind of … noise … I meant when we found out!" James said crossly. 

          "Yes. Yes I'm sure you did."

          Lily scowled. "I am standing right here, you know!" she said. 

          Remus shook his head. "Well I don't know what to say. Congratulations, both of you," and he kissed Lily on the cheek and shook James's hand.

          Sirius scowled. "Will you have to … change its nappies?"

          James put his finger to his temple. "Uh, yes. And that _"it" _is my son, Mr Black."

          Lily looked at James. "You don't know it's a boy!" she said. 

          "Sure I do. It's got to be," he said dismissively. 

Lily sighed exasperated. "This is the future father."

Peter was delivered the news via telephone as he was still sulking about the whole Dumbledore incident. He said very unconvincingly that he wasn't in the least cross with any of them, and it was Dumbledore who should have decided before hand whether or not he was going to be part of the Order, claiming that being _half _in the Order was worse than not at all.

He was not as excited about the news as James had anticipated. "Oh wow! That's … that's great, James," he said in a voice that James knew only too well as fake. When he had pointed this out to Sirius earlier, he shrugged and said that Wormtail was probably still sulking.

They had a bottle of Champaign to celebrate the news and drank all of it very quickly. Soon they were all hiccupping, bar Lily who kept shooting James contemptuous glances.

"It's in your stomach! Not _hic! _mine!" he said.

Upon leaving, Sirius shook his hand once again as Remus said goodbye to Lily and whispered in his ear, "Well done again, mate. I always thought you'd be infertile. Dunno why …"

***^*^*^***

          The vast majority of child-loving women imagine before hand that it must be a wonderful thing to be pregnant. Lily was one of these people. She had always had perfect visions of her fantastic white wedding, which was exactly as she had imagined it, living with the man she loved, and a child growing inside her. Upon finding she was pregnant, Lily and James's exhilaration had lasted three whole weeks. That was, until Lily began to experience morning sickness. 

          "Are … are you all right? Lils?" James called tentatively from their bedroom as he heard retching sounds from the bathroom. He spoke kindly as Lily was frequently liable toe explode these days. 

          "Do I sound like I'm all right, _darling_?" Lily had snapped back. James raised his eyebrows and let her get on with it.

          Then there were the cravings. These did not seem to bother Lily so much, but they certainly affected James to the extent that he thought Lily was just doing it to get him back for not having to go through morning sickness. 

          One such time was three in the morning. They were asleep, naturally, James with his arm around Lily's waist, until she turned around and faced him with an apologetic look on her face.

          "James?" she whispered.

          "Hmmph," he muttered sleepily, not opening his eyes.

          "Can I have some boiled fish, please?" she said indifferently.

          James opened his eyes and stared at her. "Are you serious?"

          "I'm completely serious."

          James surveyed her for a second and then closed his eyes again. She lifted a finger and prodded him in the chest.

          "James," she repeated.

          "Hmmph," he answered in the same sleepy tone.

          "Are you going to get me that boiled fish?"

          James opened his eyes again. "Did you just ask me for boiled fish?" he asked, brown furrowing. "I was dreaming about salmon."

          "Yes," Lily said. "Twice."

          "You really want fish?"

          "Yes."

          James had sighed and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He had to contain himself when he came back upstairs, the house now smelling strongly of fish, and found Lily asleep. 

          "One lump of boiled fish," he said.

          She turned, sleepy eyed and looked at him strangely. "Why did you get that?"

          "You wanted boiled fish!" he said.

          "No, I didn't! You're acting bizarrely, James. Perhaps you'd better stop being like that when the baby's born." And she rolled over and went back to sleep. James mouthed wordlessly before deciding there was nothing that he could do about her behaviour, and sat on the edge of the bed, eating the boiled fish. He decided to ignore her next comment.

          "James …"

          "Hmm …"

          " – Have we got any swede?"

*** * ***

          Although Lily and James had not wanted to know the sex of the baby, James was still convinced it was a boy. 

          "That's my little Malcolm," he said to her stomach whilst they ate breakfast.

          "We can't call our child Malcolm!" she said.

          "And why not? My grandfather was called Malcolm, I'll have you know."

          "Yes but … well. It's just … no. We're not calling it Malcolm."

          "Well, Malcolm's better than Carly. What a common name," he said. "Not that I have a problem with common people," he added hastily.

          Sirius had explicitly viewed his thoughts on what they should call the child. 

          "Well, I think you should call it Benvolio."

          Lily and James cast him odd looks, as if fearing his sanity. He raised his eyebrows.

          "It's a name in that Muggle Play! That Shakespeare dude. I … I thought it was a cool name. And anyway, then he'd be cultural."

          "No," they said simultaneously. "We may as well as call it Josephine. Wait a second …"

          "Hey! I really like that name," said Lily suddenly. 

          James frowned. "Yeah, me too. But I had a scary Aunt called Josephine. Painful memories. Besides, you can't call a boy Josephine."

          "You don't _know _it's a boy …"

          Sirius laughed. "You may as well call it Harold if you're gonna call it that!"

          "Haha," laughed James. "Or even Harry … _Harry. _That's got a nice ring to it."

          "_Harry …_" Lily repeated. "You know, I think it has."

          "Harry means ruler of the army," said Sirius.

          They turned and looked at him, shocked. "How'd you know that?"

          Sirius blushed. "My … my uncle was called Harry."  

          Lily and James tried to stop chuckling at Sirius private indignation on being cultural.  "How very … literate of you, Padfoot."

          "I'll have you know I am a very intellectual person."

          Lily and James exchanged more serious looks. "Yes, we know," said Lily. "And actually, continuing on that note, there's something that James and I have been discussing."

          Sirius looked up. "Oh Merlin, you're not getting a divorce, are you?"

          "No!" said Lily hurriedly. "It's to do with the baby."

          Sirius blanched. "I knew this was coming. You're not the father, are you?" he said, motioning to James. 

          Lily cried out. "Oh! Excuse me!"

          James cleared his throat. "Padfoot, we want you to be Godfather."

          Sirius blinked. "Me?" he said. "Me, as in … _me_?"

          "Yes, you as in you," repeated Lily.

          Sirius's eyes popped. "But … but … I'm irresponsible! I'm a … I'm a lunatic!"

          "So you'd like to think," said Lily.

          James smirked. "Look, you're my best friend. And we can't think of anyone else we'd trust more with the baby than you."

          Sirius looked as if he thought they were joking. "But surely … someone more responsible … what about Remus?"

          James shook his head. "He's got enough on his plate. And he is probably the other best friend I've ever had, but it's always been you that's helped me out with … everything. It's always been you who's been there for me first. If it weren't for you then … well. Lily and me probably would never have gotten our acts together. So yes, you as in you. Because even if you don't think you're reliable … we know we can trust you."

          Sirius nodded and couldn't speak, but they understood.

*** * ***

          But when the day came when the came that their child would be born, Lily and James wished more often and not that it wasn't happening. Lily frequently screamed that she didn't want to do it any more, and James felt awful at not being able to do anything to ease Lily's pain. Sirius, Lupin and Wormtail were not that much use either. Sirius was talking to the many nurses to try and make himself feel better, Lupin was pacing like James, and Wormtail kept offering Lily stupid advice like, "Try putting a charm on your stomach!" Lily had screamed at him and told the Healers to throw him out of the room.

          When at last it had happened, when James thought that it was _he _who couldn't take anymore, let alone Lily, his hand was red raw from where Lily's nails had dug into them. 

          "Congratulations," said the Nurse. "It's a baby boy."

          James smirked and stroked Lily's brow. "Told you," he whispered in his ear.

          "Hello, Harry," she said to the squirming pink ball in her arms, and leaned up to kiss James.

**^*^***

          Baby Harry, it seemed, was a very quiet baby. James had been listening to many of Sirius's horror stories involving only an hour's sleep every night compared to his usual four, (an Auror on the clock had it's downfalls) but amazingly, this wasn't the case. Small, black haired and very quiet, Harry was loved by almost everyone. As most of the Order came around to Lily and James's house to inform them of recent goings on, Harry was seen by almost everybody. 

          Dumbledore, it seemed, was very taken with him. "I have a feeling that he will be almost identical to you, James. Except his eyes … he has your eyes, Lily."

          It was true; unlike James's hazel eyes, Harry's were emerald green, indistinguishable from Lily's. 

          "Spitting image, mate," said Sirius when he frequently saw Harry, who seemed very taken with him. He would gurgle whenever Sirius appeared; something he did not do very often. It was too early for him to from any kind of specific or coherent noise, but Sirius was fairly certain what it meant.

          "He likes me, obviously. I'm the … the fun uncle. If you like."

          Remus laughed at this when he was around informing James of some Death Eater movements that evening. "So what am I then?"

          Sirius screwed up his face in a concentrated frown. "Well, you're the responsible uncle. I'll be the one to lead him into mischief, and you can get him out of it."

          "And does James figure in this at all?"

          "Well, James will help me teach him mischief, of course."

          Remus laughed. "I'll bet Lily will have a say in that. If we're the two uncles, what's Peter?"

          Sirius hesitated. "The other one."

          And they both laughed. 

**(%)(%)**

          But someone else was also close to laughter. Magnus Forelingdon was on his way back from Voldemort's Headquarters. He had just told the Dark Lord something that he knew would be of interest to him, something that would perhaps get Magnus off the hook. How exactly he had gotten on to that hook, he did not know. 

          The only flaw in his little plan for finally getting his life back on track was that he had not heard what Voldemort had said to Rookwood the moment the door had been closed shut.

          There had been a pause as Voldemort had watched Magnus walk down the track out of the window before turning to Rookwood and whispering, "Kill him."

          "K – kill him, my Lord? Could he not prove useful …"

          "No. He has done his job. He now knows too much. Kill him."

          Magnus heard footsteps and turned abruptly around, only to see the faint rustle of leaves. When he turned around again, he was face to face with Rookwood.

          "What?" he asked. "Is there something else? I told the Dark Lord everything I knew."

          Rookwood smiled cruelly. "Yes. That's the problem, Magnus."

          Magnus's eyes widened but he had not the power to speak or even move his mouth before the deadly curse was whispered. 

          _"Avada Kedavra!"_

**_"! _"_!"_**

          On one rare occasion, Dumbledore was bored. He was sitting in the Hogshead, somewhere he would rather not be, but that was not for him to decide. The woman he was supposed to be seeing was late. Sybil Trelawney, great granddaughter of the great Seer, Cassandra Trelawney, was coming for the position of Divination. Dumbledore was in two minds whether or not to allow this subject to continue, but it was only common courtesy to meet her. If she showed up, that is. 

          At last, she strode in the door, weird earrings hanging from her ears and many shawls wrapped around her, glasses hugely magnifying her tiny eyes. 

          "Ah, Professor Dumbledore, so sorry I am late … I foresaw that I should be late due to a problem with my chickens … no matter."

          "Quite all right, Miss Trelawney. The barman has allowed us to use a room at the back, as I am afraid the noise has escalated in here since I have been sitting."

          She smiled and followed him through to the back. The meeting went on and on … and on … and on. It seemed very apparent to Dumbledore that Trelawney had not a trace of the talent of her great grandmother. She spoke in a mystical tone that had no one convinced and waved her hands emphatically at some intervals. He had risen after what seemed like an age.

          "Well, it was very nice to meet you, my dear, and I will bear you in mind when I make my decision."

          Trelawney had a faint frown on her face at his words but this soon vanished as her mouth went slack and her head lolled forwards. Dumbledore started. It looked like she was about to have a seizure. But when she spoke, it was not in the timid voice or strangled cry that he had imagined. It was harsh and low. Dumbledore knew what was happening. A real prediction. 

          She was not looking at him, her eyes were not focussed. "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him … born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not …and either must die at the hands of the other, for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …_"

          There was a scuffle outside and Dumbledore roughly tore his head away from Trelawney, whose eyes had begun to focus. The barman came in very quickly looking flustered and sporting a bleeding lip.

          "Dumbledore," he said breathlessly. "I've just found someone eavesdroppin' on your conversation!"

          Dumbledore's heart contracted in his throat. He had just heard possibly the most important thing of the century and now there was a chance that Voldemort had heard it too.

          "When! When did they hear it, Brendan?" he said quickly.

          "What d'you mean?"

          "When did you get to them!"

          "Well, I dunno, just after she started speaking, I suppose."

          "Just after? How long after? Did you hear what she said?"

          "A few seconds I suppose, no I dint hear anything."

          Dumbledore's heart loosened slightly. Perhaps they were all right … perhaps not. There was no time to lose. He sped past Brendan the barman without a backward glance, saying as he went, "Please escort Sybil Trelawney home and do not mention any of this to anybody. Thank you, Brendan," and he was gone, leaving Trelawney very confused. She did not, of course, remember anything. 

***(*(**

          "My Lord, I have heard … something …" muttered Antonin Dolohov. "I went as you instructed, when and where we were informed by that Seer, and I heard … before I was discovered."

          Voldemort sneered. "You were discovered? I pray for your sake that this story has a better ending, Antonin … according to my resources, this Prophecy will be the most important thing in my quest for power."

          "I did hear, my Lord … something. The woman said, as Forelingdon described she would … _the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies …_"

          Voldemort's face was alight.

          "And then I was discovered."

          There was a pause, and then an unpleasant sneer played across his lips. "Exceptional," he whispered. "Exceptional indeed."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~ 

_A/N:_

All done. Sorry this one was a little shorter, but I had to do it like that so it would fit with the other chapters. Yes, only a couple left. Well, REVIEW!!!!!!!


	24. A Perfect Bluff

**CHAPTER 24..:::::..  The Perfect Bluff**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own a single cotton picking piece. *Decides to test whether or not the disclaimer will travel through the shredder*.

**A/N: **Urgh 6form is a complete tosspot. It's keeping me totally swamped. Damn psychology, English, Politics and History. Anyway. You wanna know about Lily and James, don't you? OK, just so you guys know, the end is drawing near. Is it this one, or isn't it? You'll just have to read! 

**_Auror:_**Hi, um, it never specifies in the book that it is actually Wormtail who finds out about the Prophecy. Dumbledore just says it was an intruder or something. But … have you not found my hints about Wormtail's continued absence slightly cryptic? Muhahaha. 

**_Miabubble_: **Yo, long time no read! Sorry I spelt champagne wrong; glad I made you laugh though. I have seen About a Boy and thought it a very amusing film. I hadn't connected it to this at the time, but now you mention it, I can see certain likenesses! I knew that eventually the time would come when I had to write their deaths and it is very traumatic to do! I'm sorry everyone is sad about it and doesn't want them to die … but I said I'd do it … and do it I shall!

**_Mystikalolo:_**Aha you have the power of foresight! (Or perhaps you just have common sense). Hmm, a sequel? I'm not sure yet.

**_DanniBanni:_** Hi, I love your name! You wanna know why? My nickname is Banna. It's something to do with the fact that my parents called me Rosanna Banana as a baby. (Yeauch I know.) What does TTFN mean? I heard it on Buffy and I can't remember what it means! (I'm like a Buffy freak; I have every single box set.) Wow, favourites? Cool!

**_Templa Otmena: _**Hi Lou, sorry about the lack of updates. It's actually me that sends them, not the bot at fanfiction. It's just with everything that's going on at the moment with school and injuries to my annoying horse, it's all I can do to write the fic and get it up on the site as my internet is being very temperamental in connecting! And also they take so long … there's about 300 of you who need updating! So, maybe for the mo you will have to just check every now and again. Oh yeah, your theory about Peter is surprisingly accurate. Any ideas about the twist yet? Muhahaha. 

**_Quidditch Queen:_**Yeah, it's a thing with pregnant women. A popular one is coal. (Yes, real black coal. Don't ask.) Don't worry; Frank and Alice will get a mention. 

**_ Szhismine: _**Yeah I thought I answered all your questions?! Lol, any more, don't hesitate to ask. 

**_Drops of Winter:_**So sorry about the typo. I had Dumbledore's speech in my head about him saying the Prophecy was made after Harry's birth. But now I read it again, (4th time lucky) I see that you are right. Sorry!

**_Calimora:_**I'm sorry you thought that chapter 22 was rushed. I did not mean to convey that to anybody; I was just aware of the time moving on. Glad you like my massacre line, I enjoyed that one myself. Aww, I made you teary eyed? (Yay!) Sorry. It's an achievement. 

**_Uhamida:_**I am glad it was only figurative laughter; research shows that people can easily put their back out these days. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! What an excellent line! Why didn't I think of that? 

**_Arwen:_**It's really nice when people say, it's just like they imagined it. It's like … I'm making a difference, you know? And not wasting my time! I'm not going to do this like Voldemort never murdered Lily and James; sorry! Lots of people have asked me not to, but I must stay true to my word. I said I'd do it … and do it I shall! *Wipes tear*. 

**_Vini: _**Wow, that must have been tough, reading it all in a day. It's taken me like 6 months to write. I didn't realise that people had actually recommended me! Wow! That's so cool. I'm glad you like it; I'm rather fond of it as well. Lol. Oh and I got your hint about updating as well. 

**_Marian – Librarian: _**Your review was really inspiring. Thank you. 

**_Goddess Moon lady: _**Uh, yeah I guess "He" can be a bit of a dumb ass. Lol, I love the name Malcolm. It makes me think of a really kind of comical sketch show. 

*HITS PLAY*.

          Dumbledore was in a very uneasy mood. Now as he sat across the table in Lily and James's kitchen, watching them completely understandably besotted with their newborn son, he felt ashamed with himself for having to break the news to them that they may now, perhaps, be in more danger of Voldemort than ever before. 

          "Settling in all right?" he asked distractedly. 

          Lily and James looked up, not really hearing Dumbledore. James was holding Harry, getting used to the way that he should be doing things. Harry seemed completely happy in his father's arms and was gurgling contentedly as his wide green eyes took in his surroundings and the strange old man in front of him. 

          "Oh yes, very well thank you," said Lily. 

          "I think he just wet himself," said James disgustedly. 

          "Well, you know what to do," Lily said. She masked a smile; it amused her when James was given full responsibility, something he was not at all used to. 

          "Can't we … carry his potty around or … attach it to his legs maybe –"

          "James," Lily said in a warning tone. James made a face and carried Harry out of the room. Dumbledore was silent; he hated imposing on this happy family … the news he must drop. A bombshell.

          Lily smiled at Dumbledore. Slowly, his expression dawned on her and she could not ignore it anymore. "Albus, what on earth is the matter?" she asked.

          Dumbledore sighed. "I shall wait until James has returned, but I am afraid, Lily, that what I must tell you is frightening me more than anything."

          Lily's stomach clenched. "What –"

          " – I shall wait until James has returned," he repeated.

          Lily continued to watch his face, but he gave nothing away. She was forced to sit in an uncomfortable silence until James returned. 

          "I just put him down in his cot. I think he was sleepy you know, Lils, he was up all night last night. Honestly, you would not believe how much sh –"

          " – James," Lily cut him off. "Albus says he's got something to tell us."   

          James looked at Dumbledore. He had seen him wear this expression before, and neither time had it held joy or happy news. "What's up?"  
          Dumbledore looked up. "Something has … happened. Something that involves either you or someone else. I have become increasingly sure that it is _you _that it involves, however I cannot be precisely sure."

          Lily frowned. "What's happened? What are you talking about?"

          Dumbledore looked at them gravely.

          "Surely nothing that bad?" said James. "I mean, wouldn't we have heard if something was going to happen beforehand? I know we're not directly involved in the Order at the moment, but …"

          "It is bad, James," Dumbledore said, raising his hands and resting his chin in them. "A few days ago, I was alerted to something that I would rather not have been. Although what I heard could actually involve the saviour of our world, it could also involve its destruction. What I heard … was a Prophecy."

          There was silence until James snorted sceptically. "Oh, come on, Dumbledore, a _real _Prophecy? There hasn't been a genuine one of those for at least –"

          " – Nineteen years to be exact. It was a _real _Prophecy, James. I am an accomplished Legillimens to know myself, of course, if it were genuine, but I did not need to use those skills. The truth was staring at me plainly in the face."

          Lily inhaled. "So … how does that involve us?"

          "The Prophecy I am about to recount to you must not leave this room. It must not be relayed to anyone unless I say so."

          Lily and James exchanged glances. "Okay …"

          "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not … and either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …_"__

          The silence that followed Dumbledore's words was one of the loudest ever. Lily placed a hand over her mouth and James's face was very pale. He looked at Dumbledore with horror stricken eyes. 

          "Born to those who have … _thrice defied him_? But … that's … that'd mean …"

          "Either you or the Longbottoms. Recently Frank and Alice have had a child that they have named Neville. Three times they have escaped Voldemort, as you have."

          Lily moved her hand from her mouth, her emerald eyes wide. "Then … w-why do you think it applies to us?"

          Dumbledore swallowed. "It is my belief that he will think of you two, as a couple, as the biggest threat. Oh yes, Frank and Alice are powerful Aurors indeed, but they do not match your power. It is you, James, that has had the most interaction with Voldemort. The direct reason would be your parents and your ancestors. Even before you and your parents were born, Voldemort was killing. Your parents were powerful wizards, James."

          James's insides flamed with suppressed anger. "Yes. They _were_. _Were_ being the emphatic word."

          Lily reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. 

          "But … he'll have the power to _vanquish _Voldemort? Our … _our_ son could save this world?"

          Dumbledore nodded. "It is possible. But you are forgetting a crucial line. _Neither can live while the other survives._"

          James opened his mouth and looked away. "So you're saying that either Harry's got to murder Voldemort or Voldemort's going to murder him?" he said lowly.

          Dumbledore inclined his head. "If my calculations and shrewd ideas are correct."

          James's eyes widened and flamed with anger. "He's a baby, for God's sake!"

          Dumbledore nodded. "Ah, yes, James, you have put your finger on the very topic that is making me most uneasy. He is only a baby. He is only human and therefore very vulnerable. I would not be so worried, perhaps, if a Death Eater had not heard part of the Prophecy."

          James turned around quickly from the window he had been staring out of into the garden. "WHAT?"

          Lily looked around at James, willing him to be calm. 

          Dumbledore alone looked calm, yet worried. " I am almost certain, however, that he only heard the beginning part of the Prophecy. Which although is not a good thing, it could have been much worse."

          James put on a sarcastic face. "Oh really? How! How could this be worse?"

          "That means that he wouldn't have heard the part about having to kill Harry in order to survive, James," said Lily. "He won't have heard about marking him as his equal or his power. Right, Albus?"

          "Yes, Lily. Your deductions are ever as quick as they were."

          James sat down again, still unsettled. "But he knows that this _child_ who has the only shot of killing him is either ours or the Longbottoms?"

          There was a silence, until, "Yes."

          "So, what are we going to do?"

          Dumbledore said nothing for a few minutes, then, "You and your family are in grave danger, James. I shall have to think about what is the best course of action.

          "We're going to have to think fast," said James.

          Nobody spoke for a long time after this. Soon, Lily had to move, as from the upstairs bedroom came frightened cries of a little boy who did not understand what was happening.

*** * * * * * * * ***

          Although deeply distressed, Lily and James had heeded Dumbledore about not saying anything to anybody. They spent the next week in mutual silence, playing with Harry, hardly daring to believe how special he was. James was anxious; he was always looking out of the window as though expecting Voldemort to launch a sudden attack. It didn't happen however, and soon Lily and James were getting itchy feet. 

"Honestly, you two, anyone would think you'd had an argument!" said Sirius the day before when he had come to inform them of the Order's business. "You haven't, have you?" he added quietly, as though he hadn't considered the possibility that it might actually have happened.

"No," said James with a small laugh. "No, nothing like that."

"So, what is it like then?" Sirius asked. There was concern etched into his handsomely maturing face. 

James shook his head. "Nothing," he said. He really wanted to tell Sirius, he wanted someone to talk to about it who hadn't already heard about it or was thinking the same thing that he was. He decided on telling Sirius the half-truth. 

"It's just … we're a bit depressed at the moment, because we might have to go back to work soon, you know."

Sirius waved an impatient hand. "Don't be ridiculous. You two aren't going anywhere if I've got anything to do about it. Whatever it is that you need to do, just tell me and I'll do it! Don't let anyone bully you into it."

Although this was not the relevant topic in James's mind at the second, he was grateful all the same and smiled at his best friend. "Anyone bully James Potter? What planet are you on, Padfoot?"

It was a great relief to both of them when Dumbledore arrived the very next day with slightly less of a dire expression. This lightened their hearts a little.

"What news?" said James, shutting the door behind him. Harry was once again nestled in his arms, looking quite contented. 

Dumbledore followed Lily through to the kitchen. "No news from afar, as they say, but I have had an idea about how to keep you and Harry safe."

They looked at each other. "Well, that's something," said James. "What is it?"

"It is imperative that Voldemort does not know your whereabouts. It is easy for him to find out quickly; two Gryffindors living in Godric's Hollow, it is not hard. I have thought long and hard about this and decided that your best chance is the Fidelius Charm."

"How does that work?" said James.

Lily's eyes suddenly became wide. "We talked about them in Charms, James, don't you remember?" she said excitedly. "It's … it's the one with a Secret Keeper, isn't it?" she said.

Dumbledore nodded. "The information that Voldemort so yearns to know about, your occupancy for example, is entrusted with a Secret Keeper. This information will henceforth be kept safe from everyone. Voldemort could have his nose pressed on your kitchen windowsill and not know you were there. Unless of course, the Secret Keeper chooses to divulge the information."

Lily and James looked at each other.

"I realise that you may want some time to decide who –"

"Sirius," they both said simultaneously. 

Dumbledore bowed his head. "I thought that would be your decision. Sirius is probably one of the most loyal people that I have met and I am certain he will not let you down."

They nodded, hardly daring to believe that perhaps a solution had been found to the problem that had been eating them up for weeks.

"Then it is time – to tell those you trust about the Prophecy."

**)(*)*)(*)*)(***

           "Holy cow!" exclaimed Sirius. 

          "Merlin's Beard," said Lupin. 

          "Wow!" said Peter.

          "I know," said James. "It's _my_ son, you know," he said, tapping a finger to his chest. "_Mine_."

          Sirius smiled. "Didn't Lily have something to do with it?"

          "Well. Yes."

          Peter continued to blink. "I can't believe it! He's got the power to kill You Know Who?"

          "But he's so –"

          " – Small –"

          " – And wrinkly." 

          James rolled his eyes. "It's not all good you know," he said. "Did you not hear the last part? It also means that now, old Voldie's planning to go all out war on us."

          "And when you say _us_ –"

          "I mean me, Lily and Harry. Yes."

          They all exchanged ominous looks. There was a silence until Peter spoke.

          "But … he has power! Wow …"

          "And … you're sure about me being … the thing?" said Sirius in a slight undertone. This was pointless however; the others could hear him. 

          "Of course I am. Remus and Peter understand. You've always been my best friend. There's no one else that we'd have chosen, Sirius. So now you can carry a massive burden. It's only fair, you know, Padfoot."

          Lupin smiled. "Oh no, we've given him responsibility. Is this wise?"

          "Hey, sitting right here!" Sirius interjected. "But … I mean, me? A Secret Keeper? I've read stuff about them in books and –"

          "You can read?" said Peter sarcastically. 

          Sirius ignored him. " – And they've always been so … so … responsible."

          "Well, I'm not asking you to be responsible," said James. "I'm just asking you to … keep a secret."

          And he did. For quite a while. The Charm was performed, and the information was concealed. The only people who knew about it were Peter, Lupin, Sirius and Dumbledore. The Fidelius Charm was a mysterious charm that Dumbledore had chosen very carefully; once the Charm had been performed on one said person, the Secret Keeper, another invisible yet existing force was placed around anyone who knew about the information. Nobody but the Secret Keeper could divulge the information to Voldemort, regardless of the fact that others knew. None of the other Order members knew about the Prophecy or anything else as of yet. It wasn't that Dumbledore did not trust them, it was more to do with the fact that he didn't want to put any of them in unnecessary danger. 

**(((*)))(((*)))**

           "It's not working," said a voice from the shadows.

          An impatient sigh answered this. Voldemort traced his mouth with a long and white skeletal finger. "Then _make it _work. Turn it around. Is that not why you are here?"

          The person nodded fearfully. There was sweat glistening on the forehead, the breathing was harsh and guttural, the hands shaking nervously.

          "Your loyalty is wavering …"

          "No, not at all …"

          "Do not lie to me. You do not think it can be done. Am I correct?"

          There was a silence, and then, "It just seems so … complicated."

          "Let me tell you something. I have waited a very long time to hear this Prophecy that I was foretold of being made. Long and hard I worked to get it … and when the time finally comes, I do not even get to hear it in its entire form. You can imagine how … disheartened I was. But now that I have a lead … a lead that could change everything and make my rise to power completely absolute … I recruit you – a worthless follower to do more dirty work … I know that it is only fear that brought you here, but that does not bother me. After everything that I have done to get to where I am now, in the final stages of my rise, here you are telling me it is too _complicated_?"

          "N-no, my Lord. Not at all. It is not complicated. I will turn it around."

          Voldemort smiled. "Yes. You will."

**(((*)))(((*)))**

          "So he doesn't know that I'm Secret Keeper?" Sirius asked Dumbledore a week after he had been made so. They were in his office up at the school, as Dumbledore had wanted to see him. 

          "Not as of yet. But I have been thinking … it might be wise for you to go into hiding …"

          Sirius snorted. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. Look, I know you're trying to keep us all safe, Albus, but I can't go into hiding. It's not my thing."

          Dumbledore's eyes flashed. "Whether it is your _thing_ or not, Sirius, I was rather hoping that you would do what ever it takes to keep others safe –"

          "I am. You know that. But you're talking about keeping me safe. I wont betray the information, Dumbledore. He'd have to kill me first."

          Dumbledore breathed out slowly. "That is what worries me."

          Sirius half smiled. "You don't have to worry about me, I'm a big boy now, you know. I can even clean my own teeth and everything."

          Dumbledore nodded wisely. "I know that you are a capable and able man, Sirius, and that you would never betray Lily and James. It is this, that worries me most."

          Sirius frowned. "What do you –"

          " – If I am aware of your qualities, then Voldemort will be as well."

          At first, Sirius didn't realise what Dumbledore's point was. But then, it suddenly began to dawn on him. Sirius's breath caught in his throat. He had not thought of that. How could he have been so stupid? It was so obvious; Voldemort was bound to see it! He would know, of course, thanks to his various spies, that he and James and Lily were best friends. He would know, also, how Dumbledore's mind worked, therefore foreseeing the Fidelius Charm. How could he not have seen it before?

          " … Merlin … you're right …"

          Dumbledore shook his head. "But I am aware that there is no one else whom Lily and James would …"

          Sirius stood up, his chair falling over with a clatter. "No … we have to sort this out now! He could be … he could be planning something right now!"

          "Sirius, please calm down. There is not much we can do that will catch Voldemort off guard …"

          Sirius racked his brains and suddenly the answer came to him, as though it had been in his head all along. "Peter," said Sirius quietly.

          Dumbledore looked up. "What?" he said.

          "It would be the least thing he'd expect … we should swap … and not tell anyone … Voldemort would never dream we'd use Peter …"

          Dumbledore's face became enlightened. "You're right …what an excellent idea …"

          Sirius had sat back down again. "And if we don't tell anyone …"

          "That is wise … a fear and doubt has been growing in my mind. I do not want to believe that somebody on our side has been informing Voldemort about the Order's movements but … I am afraid that I am moving towards that conclusion."

          "So, just Remus –"

          "No," Dumbledore said so sharply that Sirius started. "I do not believe that he is a spy, but nor do I want to take any chances."

          Sirius frowned, but then nodded. "All right …it's the perfect bluff. He'd never dream we'd use somebody like Peter."

          "No, no I don't suppose that he would …" Dumbledore made a sceptical face. "James will not wish to conform to the plan."

          Sirius nodded and stood up once more, as though suddenly Voldemort would know their plans; that there was not a moment to be lost. "I'll talk to him."

**(_)(_)(_)**

          "Are you INSANE?" said James loudly.

          "Well, yes, where have you been for the past twenty odd years?"

          Lily threw her hands in the air. "James is right, Sirius! Changing the plan at this stage would be … madness!"

          Sirius shook his head. "Don't you see? It's too obvious! He's bound to come after me! He knows us!"

          James hung his head. "We can't ask Peter to do this. It'd break him down completely –"

          " – Or just kill him," said Lily fairly. 

          Sirius bit his bottom lip. "He's always saying that we don't trust him! This is his perfect opportunity to … I don't know.  Show us that he can do something useful."

          Lily looked up, almost apologetically. "But can he?" she said softly. "Can he really? I would give him a chance to prove himself any time, but … not if it involves him standing between Voldemort and my family, because I think we can deduce who would end up on the floor!"

          "That's not fair, Lily," said Sirius. "He's been a good friend to us for a long time. I know we … take the Mickey, yeah. Of course we do. That's how it's always been. But Peter's go a good heart. He'd do anything to show us we can trust him. He's been really depressed lately, staying at home a lot and out of the way … I think Dumbledore hurt him when he said he shouldn't be in the Order in front of practically everyone he knows."

          They were silent. "I'm not sure, Sirius," James repeated. "Peter's doesn't deserve to be –"

          " – Oh, and I do?"

          "I didn't mean that," said James testily. "We're not asking anybody to risk their lives for us."

          "Well, I would," Sirius said. "And Peter would too. All I want is for you two and Harry to be safe. And that is not going to happen if we've got such an obvious plan! Don't you see? Lily! Come on, can't you see the logic? Do it for Harry's sake, if not Peter's."

          Lily and James looked at each other. Lily bit her lip and held James's gaze.

"It would be the last thing that he'd suspect …"

After what seemed like the longest silence ever, the both nodded and said simultaneously, "Okay."

*** * * ***

          "I … I – I really don't know what to say!" Peter stammered as Lily and James told him their plan the next day. "I – I'm completely … _me?_"

          "That's what we said, isn't it?" said Lily, feeling slightly bad as Peter didn't know that the only reason they wanted to use him was that it was the last thing Voldemort would expect.

          "B – but why me? Why did you change? Sirius would definitely be better than –"

          Lily and James exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Well, we don't want too much of an obvious plan. And … well. We …"

          Peter waved an impatient hand. "Oh, no, it doesn't really matter. I'm just so … surprised! And Dumbledore said all of this?"

          "Yep," said James. "It was his idea," he lied. "And he said he'd perform the Charm whenever you're ready."

          "Well, I'm ready now! The sooner the better, eh, Prongs?"

          James raised his eyebrows. "I guess so." 

          Peter wandered over to Harry's cot and put his hand down into it. Ruffling his hair, he turned back to Lily and James. "I won't let you down, you know – nor this little guy."

          Lily and James smiled at Peter, thinking that perhaps Sirius was right and he might make them proud. 

**())))((((())))))((((()**

"It has happened, my Lord," said the harsh voice once again from the shadows. Voldemort raised his head slightly, trying to appear not as interested as he actually was. 

          "Good."

          "I told you that I would make it happen, and I did, my Lord! I did!"

          Voldemort sneered. "Very good. I am pleased. I reward my servants who please me. Please hold out your arm."

          The short servant held back for a second, a look of trepidation on his face. "W – why, my Lord?"

          "You have earned the privilege to be known as one of the Dark Lord's Death Eaters of course! Now do as I say, and _hold out your arm._"

          The servant did so, against his better judgement. It was shaking as Voldemort extended his hand, wand held tightly in his fingers. He touched the arm half way up with his wand, and muttered, _"Morsmorde!" _

          The servant screamed in pain and recoiled, but Voldemort kept hold of the arm. Slowly, as though invisible ink was tracing it there, the Dark Mark appeared on the servant's arm, burning black. When the process was complete, Voldemort eased the pressure on the arm. The servant whimpered for a second.

          "What is the matter?" asked Voldemort. "Do you not like your reward? Am I sensing an ungrateful tone?"

          The servant recovered himself and stood up. "No, my Lord … no, it's beautiful … thank you."

          Voldemort smiled cruelly. "Excellent. Now. You have something I want, do you not?"

          "Y – yes, I know all about the Potters'. All the information you need … I have it." There was a pause, then, "But my Lord … I must ask what of the Longbottoms?"

          Voldemort looked up sharply, narrowing his slit like red eyes. "You must ask nothing. I needed to make a judgement, and I have made it."

          The servant was silent and looked at its feet.

          "So. You had something to say, did you not, Wormtail?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~ 

**_A/N:_ **Sorry, sorry, I know it's a cliffhanger, but the thing is, I know that I could have put "The Bit" in this chapter, but it would have made it unnecessarily long and maybe cutting bits up. I really want to do "The Bit" properly, so please, be loyal and patient! Next chapter is going to be explosive. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rosie. 


	25. Can You Keep A Secret?

**CHAPTER 25_..:::::.._  _Can You Keep a Secret?_**

**Disclaimer: ***Has found that, contrary to popular belief, disclaimer does go through shredder! Hurrah*! 

**A/N: **OK guys … this is it. The very it. "The Bit."  Because everyone has asked, there will be 2 more chapters. This one and an epilogue. Haha. Twist. Haha. Ok, just have to say that this has to be one of the hardest things, OK, **THE** hardest thing that I have ever had to write. So … be gentle. And grab a box of tissues. Mine is by my side. Lol. Btw, this might get a tad nasty and I've tried to change the rating but for some reason, it won't let me. It keeps saying, "system unavailable" or something. So, just to warn you, this would have been rated 'R' if the stupid thing had let me do it. Oh and if any sort of "fan fiction bouncers" are reading this, please don't take it down … I really did try and rate this higher but your site wouldn't let me! Oh yeah … it's quite long. I'm very sorry if some might find this disturbing; some of you might have been hoping for a kind of nice wrapping up scene, a piece where everything turns out all right really … but I'm afraid that's not how it is. 

**_Templa Otmena: _**Aha, you discovered my plot change … Dumbledore does know in this story. I know it's not in cannon, but hey. What the hell? I was feeling rebellious. In answer to your question, there's this one and one more. Argh! However will I cope? And I hope this chappie lives up to the expectations of … _explosive._

**_Gab3: _**Lol, I'm glad you just … came across this. Thanks for taking the time to read it all, (it takes a while) and review. Love you all! Favourites list? WOW! 

**_Szhismine: _**Oh no! There are tears in your eyes already? Not good! Um … I'm glad you hate the plot …  and not me. Lol. Sorry, I don't wanna kill them … but I shall as I said I would. I keep my promises! Yes more angst on the way. (You sick person.)

**_Uhamida: _**Uh, yes, Wormtail is a bloody prat. You just figured that out? Lol. OK… thanks for saying I'm doing a good job. People aren't reviewing much any more, and it gets me a little down … but hey. Thanks!

**_Mystikalolo: _**Lol, was it even possible to be more disgusted with the Worm? And yes, we all hate Tom Riddle. Lol. Poor lad. 

**_Miabubble: _**Beautiful? Wow, thanks. Your short review led me to believe that that's all you could say. (Please don't correct me if I'm wrong.) And if it was, then thanks a lot!

**_Padfoot79: _**Ah, I'm sorry but James cannot hear you!

**_Cara-MeLissa: _**Ah, yes, lots of "if-only's" but this is how it has to be! Almost right. Not this one but the next one.

**_Tomoe: _**Lol, oh but I can. 

**_Lisa3: _**Is that really relevant? I've had a few people saying that, who clearly don't listen to interviews with JK Rowling or watch the films.

**_Snuffles10: _**Lol, calm down, of course I'm not going to rush it! (I couldn't if I tried.) Hmm, as for Voldie dying? That's JK's call I guess. Do you think he will? I reckon that Harry will kill Voldie and everyone will be like, yay! Yay! Happy ending! And then JK will twist it so an escaped Death Eater that everyone thought was gone will kill him horribly. Lol, I know, bleak. 

**_Drops of winter: _***Bids that Drops of winter ceases the hair pulling*! It's OK, here it is. I know it's kinda depressing watching it happen all over again, isn't it?

**_Marian Librarian: _**Thanks for the recommendation, I have read Unbroken Universe. I thought it was excellent! Very talented gal there. It's second to me? Wow, thanks a lot and also for appreciating the time and effort I put into this. It's nice to see some people recognise the techniques I use and what I try to do!

**_Laura Lou: _**Um … I'm glad I rock your socks. Lol, sorry it's over soon, please keep reading!

**_Katie: _**Yeah, I didn't want to do it entirely cannon; I had to leave some kind of trace that said that it was _me _who did it! And not JK! Even though she thought up this fantastic plot that I bow down too, I just thought it would be interesting if Dumble knew. 

*HITS PLAY*

          James was washing up, something that did not usually happen. This was a mark of how anxious the pair of them was feeling at that moment. Something, an unknown and unseen force seemed to be penetrating their usually steady minds. Something was up. They could feel it. 

          "How … many … times do you have to … scrub this … bloody thing?" James muttered to himself as he scrubbed hard with the scoured green cloth at a particularly stubborn stain of tomato sauce on a dish. 

          "At least seventeen times," Lily called from the sofa as she fed Harry with a bottle. Harry was not hungry for some reason; Lily tried all her tactics, singing to him, squirting it at him, tickling him, and pushing it as hard as she could … but none of them would work. He just wasn't hungry. 

          "What's wrong?" asked James in the middle of subtly trying to put back the still stained dish without Lily noticing. 

          "He's not eating. I don't know why … it's so frustrating."

          "Do you think we should go to the doctors?" said James, finishing his drying up. 

          Lily suddenly looked apprehensive. "No – I mean … I don't think we should … go out. Do you?"

          James frowned. "No, you're right."

          Lily half smiled weakly, and stared out of the window, Harry wriggling in her arms. 

          James sighed matter of factly and shut all the kitchen drawers. "Well, it's late. If he's not eating, I s'pose there's not much left to do but to go to bed."

          Lily nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I'll go and put him down."

**(*)(*)(*)**

          Lupin's table lamp cast a glow over his tired face. "Honestly, Sirius, what on earth is the matter with you?" he said after about ten minutes of Sirius clicking his fingers. He was having a drink with Remus; something they did not do as often as they used to. 

          Sirius looked up, alarmed that he was not being as subtle as he had hoped. "I – nothing. It's just … that headache, you know."

          Remus decided that he could not play along any longer. "Look, Sirius, I know that you and James are the best friends, but I do know you better than you know yourself."

          Sirius nodded, frowning. "What's your point?"

          "Don't insult my intelligence, Sirius. I'm not stupid."

          "I'm well aware of that."

          "So tell me why you have been moping around like a sloth with a bad case of gingivitis for the past two days," he said softly.

          Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's just Lily and –"

          " – Don't feed me that whole Lily and James line. I know you're worried about them. I am too, but we've all been worried about them for months. Why is it different now?"

          Sirius sighed. He _so _wanted to tell Remus. "I just … I don't know. Voldemort doesn't usually wait. I just think something's wrong."

          "Well maybe Dumbledore's charm is working."

          Sirius nodded. "I hope so."

          The silence escalated. Perhaps Sirius could kind of tell him without really _telling _him … 

          "Remus …"

          " … Yes?"

          " … What if you … you thought that you'd made a mistake, but knew that you shouldn't really change it because it would be too late?"

          Lupin frowned. "Elaborate?"

          Sirius bit his lip. "Well, too late in the sense that … you'd changed your mind too many times. And … it wouldn't make much difference? Do you understand me?"

          Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Seldom if ever."

          Sirius tutted impatiently. "Never mind."

          "If you knew that it wouldn't make a difference if you changed your mind, why would you change it?"

          Sirius paused. "I … dunno. I've just got … a feeling."

          Remus's expression was one of total indifference. Sirius could not tell whether or not he was reading between the lines and figuring out what he was trying to tell him. 

          "Well … is there a chance that your feeling could be right?"

          Sirius shrugged. "There's a chance, I suppose."

          Remus looked away. "Then maybe … you should check out what ever's bothering you."

          The clogs turned in Sirius's brain. He was worried about Peter, therefore, he should check up on him …

          "You know, I think I will. Thanks, Remus. You're a real friend."

          Remus nodded. "I always was. I'll see you later."

          Sirius smiled, got up, and left the house, Lupin not knowing at that point that at that moment, it was the last time he would ever see Sirius's face so alive.

**_^*^*^*_**

          The cold night air was chilling on Sirius's pale face and he shivered. It was a clear night; the stars were bright and a full moon was shining innocently above him. Sirius paid no attention to any of this. With every step he took, his sense of foreboding increased. Sirius did not understand why he felt so uneasy, but he did know one thing; Remus was right. If there was the slightest chance that his feeling was right, it was the best thing to do to check. He rounded a corner on the dark street and Peter's house came into view. The lights were not on and instantly, Sirius knew that there was no one home. Peter's mother had left a long time ago with a random foreign wizard from Indonesia, leaving Peter the house.

          Sirius knocked out of courtesy. There was no answer. The overgrown plants in the garden that Peter had neglected had begun to coil themselves around the post next to the door, the paint was peeling on the windows, and the house was a mess. He knocked again. Still no answer. Sirius looked around the street, up and down to see if anyone was looking. When it became apparent that there was no one there, Sirius took his wand, muttered an incantation and watched as the door blew off its hinges. He stepped through the threshold into a very darkened hallway, a mouldy smell staining the air. 

          "Peter?" Sirius called. His voice rang through the house. "Peter!" 

But Peter did not answer. 

          Sirius wandered through to the kitchen. There were stale milk bottles in the fridge and bread gone mouldy. Either Peter was being particularly lazy of late or he hadn't been in his own house for a few days. Sirius did not like the sound of the latter.

          He trod carefully up the winding stairs, not turning on the lights for a reason unknown to himself. "PETER!" he called, not really expecting an answer anymore. He stepped into Peter's now larger bedroom. Moonlight filtered in through the open window and illuminated the made bed that had plainly not been slept in. Peter would not leave the windows open in his house unless he had left in a real hurry …

          Sirius felt his breath constricted. Something was wrong … Peter would not, _should not, _have left the house on Dumbledore's orders. Perhaps Voldemort already knew … perhaps Peter was in danger.

          _Where's the first place Voldemort would go if that were the case? _he thought desperately. The answer came to him in all its obviousness, though Sirius was not happy about it. _Lily and James …_

          He jogged down the stairs and out of the house, sprinting up the road to Godric's Hollow. 

**_^*^*^*_**

          "Lils, will you just come away from the window, please?" said James as he sat on the edge of the bed, still fully clothed. 

          Lily drew away. "Sorry."

          "It's OK," said James, "It's just that Voldemort's hardly going to march protest – style down the street holding a banner saying _"I'm coming for you," _is he?" James's expression twitched.

          Lily scowled. "That's not funny."

          "What, you have to take away my favourite past time now, Evans?"

          "It's Potter to you, Mr, and your favourite past time is for school boys."

          James smirked. "All right, Potter, but I'll always be a school boy."

          Lily smiled whilst walking towards him and ruffling his hair. "I know."

          James pulled her hand away. "You'll mess it up!"

          Lily gave him a scathing look that clearly told him to stop being satirical. She sat down on the bed next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "James …" she asked as he eyed her with suspicion.  "We're … happy, right?"

          James frowned. "Um … yes. You are, right?"

          "Oh yes, yes I am, of course, but I just mean … are we a family?"

          James cocked his head. "Well, yeah."

          Lily smiled. "I've never had … a family before. A proper one. It's what I've always wanted."

          James frown vanished. "Well, I guess that's good. Two men in your family. You should be grateful, girl."

          Lily sat up and looked at him. "I am. I suppose, what I'm trying to say is … thank you."

          James narrowed his eyes. "What for?"

          Lily shrugged. "For being there. For proving me wrong when I was convinced I'd hate you forever more," she added in an undertone.

          James mocked a hurt expression. "Oh, thanks," pretending to ignore her smile. "Well in that case, you're welcome. You've got a proper family. And we'll do all the things that _proper _families do."

          Lily sat up eve more, like an eager child. "Like what?"

          James thought for a second. "Well, we'll go the park on Sundays, and eat Sunday roast, and invite your parents around when we've had enough alcohol, and … be the embarrassing parents when Harry goes to school … complain about stupid things that kids hate. Of course, if he gets bullied by someone's kid like Snape, then I'll forget I'm a father and turn into a murderer but …"

          Lily laughed. "A _proper_ family."

          ""Yup," James said … and a creak was heard from downstairs. 

**_*^"*^"_**

          Sirius did not know how long he had been running, nor did he realise that there was a searing pain in his left side. All he knew was that he could not run any longer. Realising that he would have to do some pretty fancy spell work that he had never really listened to in lessons so long ago, Sirius stopped and pulled out his wand. Turning around, not sure which way he should face, he began to think. _I can do summoning charms, but never anything this big. OK. Focus …_

          "ACCIO MOTORBIKE!"

          He stood for a long time, minutes even, convinced that the spell had not worked, and feeling s familiar sensation of despair deepening in his gut. But then, just as suddenly as anything, a roaring noise came from the distance. His bike was speeding towards him … his bike that his Uncle had given him with the gold he had been left.

          The bike shuddered to a halt next to Sirius, who grinned at his own cleverness. Mounting the bike quickly, he set off at breakneck speed.

**_(*)(*)_**

          James sat up very suddenly, his heart pounding as though he had been waiting all along for something like this to happen. 

          "What?" said Lily fearfully, not having heard anything.

          James held up a hand to silence her. The sound came again. _Scrape … scrape …_

          Lily's eyes widened in fear. James got up off the bed and moved towards the bedroom door. He stepped out onto the landing, listening hard, but no noise came. 

          Lily was right behind him. "Stay behind me," said James.

          They descended the stairs, her hand on his shoulder. _Scrape …_ "James," she whispered in his ear, fearful. "What about Harry?"

          James looked behind him hesitantly. "Don't wake him. It … it might be nothing."

          They did not turn the lights on, all was dark. The kitchen floor was cold on their bare feet and Lily shivered. There was a faint drip escaping one of the taps over the sink and moonlight was filtering over all the washing up that James had done previously. They both listened intently … but heard nothing more.

          James felt a sigh of relief sweep over him. "It's nothing. Probably the heating or something."

          Lily exhaled also. "Yeah, probably."

          Faintly from upstairs, they heard the small sounds of a baby shifting restlessly, whimpering slightly. Lily turned to James. "He's most likely hungry; he didn't want anything to eat earlier."

          James nodded. "Yeah, go and give him something to eat then. There's nothing here, Lils. We're just a little paranoid, is all. It's nothing."

          Lily nodded, apparently satisfied, and ascended the stairs to feed her baby. James walked over to the kitchen sink, hands still trembling slightly. He had thought for a second that Voldemort had found them at last … that would have to mean that Peter would have betrayed them …_stop it,_ he told himself firmly. _Don't be ridiculous. You're paranoid … Peter would _never_ do that. _

He picked up a clean glass and ran the tap slowly, watching as the liquid slowly filled the glass. From upstairs he could hear Harry settling down again; he must have been hungry. James drank the cold liquid, feeling his heart rate slowly return to normal. He gazed out into his garden, the wind rustling the large trees in the orchard, making a rushing sound, the flower heads drooping due to the horrible rain driving into the windows, dark shadows were overcast on the patio.

          James squinted into his garden and his eyes focused on a particularly dark shadow. He narrowed them even more, trying to make out what it was, but he was almost certain he was imagining it. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he shook his head, and opened them again. He wasn't imagining it. The dark shape was slowly becoming more and more defined. It wasn't a shape any more … it was a figure. James's heart began to beat double time, he felt his throat constricted and for a whole moment, couldn't breathe.

          The figure was emerging from shadow now, walking towards his backdoor. James couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think … all he could see was a pair of narrowed red eyes, gleaming ferociously in the darkness. 

          "_Voldemort_ …" he whispered.

          He was coming closer and closer … metres away. A voice was screaming in James's head … "_Move! Do something!"_ and at the same time, _"Peter, what have you done?"_

          His senses rapidly erupted back into his head with such force that he nearly felt his feet move. "LILY!" he shrieked.

She ran to the top of the stairs with Harry in her arms, face white, the worst confirmed.  

          "LILY! IT'S HIM!"

          She began to run down the stairs. 

          "NO!" James yelled, plainly not clarifying that she was not to come anywhere near. "NO, GO BACK!"

          "James! What do we do?" she said, looking out the kitchen window to see Voldemort advancing with no great haste, as though he were strolling along on an afternoon walk. It meant that he was in no hurry … he knew that he had them cornered … there really was nothing that they could do ... 

          "Lily, you have to take Harry, and run!"

          She stared at him, lost for words. "NO! What are you saying?"

          "I'M TELLING Y OU TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

          "NO!" 

          She ran down the stairs, pushed his arms aside and clutched him around the neck. 

          "Lily, please," said James desperately. Pushing her away was the last thing that he had ever wanted to do, but now … it was the only way. He detached her and held her at arms length. 

          "Lils," he said slowly, wiping away the tears staining her face with his thumb. "Baby, you have to go! Take Harry, and run! I'll hold him off –"

          "No!" she repeated. "You can't fight him alone!"

          "WHAT GOOD IS IT IF WE BOTH DIE?" he said furiously, casting another look to where Voldemort was … "Someone has to look after Harry!" He was coming closer … the only had a few seconds. 

          Lily began to sob. They were not feeble panic tears … they were tears of anger. "This isn't fair! Let's both go!"

          "To where? He'll find us! Lily, we have to fight. _I _have to fight. Take Harry, go upstairs and go out the window."

          "James … James, I love you," she said slowly, as though his fate were already sealed. "Don't … don't let him get you."

          James, miraculously, managed a smile. "Lils, you're forgetting one very important thing. I'm Mr James Potter!"

          He kissed her hurriedly, whispered, _"I love you"_ in her ear and walked away.

          Lily shook on the spot, hearing Harry cry desperately upstairs. This brought her to her senses and she ran, full pelt up the stairs to him. 

***^*^**

          James began to breathe uncontrollably. His palms were sweaty as was his brow, his wand clutched in his hand. Through all of this, he knew one thing. 

          "I am not going to sit here and wait for him to break my door down," he said aloud. With this thought firmly lodged in his brain, James went to the back door and wrenched it open, making the fight his own.  Voldemort stopped walking, and faced James. There was a hungry expression on his twisted face. They were a few metres apart, both with wands in their hands and both with the same thought … to kill the other …  

          "James Potter!" he called almost jovially. "We meet again in more … dramatic circumstances it seems."

          The rain was almost blinding, but James managed a smirk through the icy cold seeping though to his skin. "You're very perceptive."

          Voldemort smiled. "Ah, wit. I'd forgotten how much fun it was to exchange banter with my enemies. Most of them are not granted the time to speak, however …"

          James said nothing, but was thinking of what to hit Voldemort with. 

          "I am grateful that you have come out to face me, straight backed and proud and all that ... gallantry. It will make everything much quicker as all I really want is to get past you and into your dear son's bedroom."

          The taunt about Harry rang in James's ears. "You'll have to kill me first," he hissed.

          "Yes," said Voldemort. "I gathered as much."

          Before James had even the time to think about uttering a retort, Voldemort had hit him with a spell that blasted him off his feet. He was travelling backwards at a very high speed … pain exploded in his back as he smashed through the backdoor and skidded over the kitchen surfaces. He struck his head on the corner of something; it might well have been a work surface and saw stars explode over his head as he came to rest in the doorway to the living room, skidding on the fragments of glass littering the floor. 

          _"Get up …" _said the voice in the back of his head. _"If you want to stay alive, James… GET UP!"_ The sound of Harry crying upstairs made him push himself up off the floor. Why had Lily not gone yet?

          Voldemort was standing, framed by the moonlight in the doorway. There was a cruel smile playing on his lips. "Perhaps I will not have to kill you to get past you. This is easier than I was informed it would be."

          James felt for his wand gingerly, blood escaping from the cut above his left eyebrow. His fingers clasped it and he pointed it fiercely at his enemy, gritting his teeth against the pain in his elbows and knees from the floor as he rose to his feet. 

          "AMPIPAIN!" he bellowed. 

          Voldemort staggered, clutched the doorway and lost his footing for a second. It had almost the same effect on him as it had done on James that day at the lake. That memory seemed so long ago, as though he were recalling it from another life he had once experienced.  

          "Thanks, Snape," he muttered under his breath. 

          Voldemort whirled, seizing the opportunity where James thought he was stunned. "_Crucio!"_

          James was once again thrown to the floor; he had never felt such pain. White-hot knives were piercing his skin, there was a harsh pounding in his head that was slowly tuning into a screaming … whether or not it was his own voice or someone else's he could hear he did not know … perhaps it was Lily's … 

          He knew Voldemort would not lift the curse in a hurry so he tried to shout his own. "_Protego!" _

          Voldemort once again staggered and lost his footing. James's wand was laying a little way away from him from the impact of his own spell… if only he could just reach it … his fingers grazed the tip, his hands receiving deep cuts from the shards of debris all over the wooden floor … he was so close …

          A large foot crushed his fingers from above. James was sure the wand would snap, but it didn't. Instead, to make Voldemort think it had, he cried out much louder than he would have done, to mask the fact that there was no snapping sound, except that from his broken and bleeding fingers. 

          James withdrew his hand, his wand concealed beneath his fingers. 

          Voldemort chuckled softly. "A broken wand is no use in broken hands, Potter," he said. "You do certainly have talent … it's just such a shame that you picked the losing side."

          James steeled himself for the curse to come … and rolled out of the way just as it hit the floor with a resounding clang. He crouched behind the cooker, heart pounding, wand held in painfully throbbing fingers … 

          "Come out, Potter, you cannot win against me."

          James heard the voice and hated it. He was not going to sit here, crouching like a child, waiting for Voldemort to kill him. He was going to stand up and face him … for his parents… for Harry … for Lily ... 

          He threw himself out from behind the cooker and yelled, "EXPELLIARMUS!" just as Voldemort muttered his own incantation … an incantation that James knew couldn't be blocked … but he had to fight … he had to try something … he had to hope, even if there was no hope left. 

          "_Avada Kedavra!" _

          A swishing noise … a stream of green light … James's eyes widened in shock, the expression quickly dying from his once handsome face … his glasses slipped as he hit the ground with a dull thud … feeling the life he once knew flash before his eyes like the flickering picture shows his mother used to show him when he had been good. He should have felt pain … fear … anger even, but there was nothing. James knew that this was the end …this was it. The pain was leaving him now … he slowly began to lose the ability to think … to know … to breathe …

          "_L – Lily …"_

**(*)(*)**

          Lily ran up the stairs with Harry in her arms, crying and confused. She pelted through all the rooms, none of the windows being large enough for her to climb through with a baby. She could hear crashing below, praying to God, if there was one, that James was all right. She clutched Harry closer as she neared his own bedroom. The door was ajar … they had flown inside and Lily slammed the door, leaning against it for a second, panting. 

          Turning around, she knew that no charm used to seal the door would stop Voldemort for long, but she had to try. James had taught her that much. 

          She placed Harry carefully in his cot for just a second as she withdrew her wand from her jeans pocket. 

          "_Colloportus!" _she said. An oddly squelching sound resounded as the door sealed itself … for the time being. 

          Looking around for what to do next, Lily saw that Harry's window was bigger than the one in her and James's room. She went to the window and wrenched with all her might. It would not budge. Panicking slightly, she withdrew her wand once more and pointed it at the glass.

          "_Reducto! REDUCTO!" _

But it would not work. Feeling her heart quicken, Lily began to shake. Her Reducto spells had always been the best when she had been in school; no one could beat them, not even James. She tried again, and again. Harry began to wail louder.

          Yet the window remained unscathed. It was as though it was deliberately not breaking, as though someone had somehow made them impermeable to her magic. 

          She went to Harry's cot, picked him up and held him tight against her chest. He stopped crying. Lily gently put him down in his cot for suddenly, the crashes from below had stopped. Could it be that Voldemort had been defeated? That James had won, as she had been so sure that he would? 

          Mid thought, Lily was thrown back against the wall as the door was blasted to smithereens. A tall, skeletal man stood framed in the doorway, a cruel smile playing around his lips, where a trickle of blood was escaping. Lily blanched … James … James must be …

          "Ah, the other half," he said in a voice as think as ice. "I must say, your husband was quite a contender."

          Lily's lip began to tremble in anger and tears escaped her eyes. "You – you … killed James?"

          Voldemort just smiled. Lily, feeling an emotion beyond anger, beyond grief, beyond hatred, withdrew her wand for the final time. 

          Harry began to whimper – there was an unknown person in his bedroom and he was not overjoyed about it. Voldemort turned his white head to the cot, as though he had not noticed him before. He narrowed his eyes slightly, flexing his spider-like fingers. 

          "And finally … the offspring."

          Lily strode across the room in one stride and stood protectively in front of Harry. "You will not touch my boy," she said in a voice shaking with suppressed rage. 

          Voldemort grimaced. "Oh, I think I shall."

          Lily stood up straight, defiant. 

          "Now, girl, on account of the fact that I am … a reasonable man … I shall say that you need not get hurt. Stand aside, and I may spare your life."

          Lily laughed coldly and uncharacteristically. "Is that so? A reasonable man? Are all the murders you commit _reasonable? _Are all the people you slaughter, maim and torture on your Dark assent to power victims of your _reasonable nature_?"

          Voldemort's mouth curled into a sardonic smirk. "The boy taught you well in witty retorts. I expect he will be proud … if the dead can be proud."

          Harry attempted to stand and put his tiny pudgy hands on the wooden bars of his cot.

          "I shall ask you one more time, you foolish girl. _Stand aside,_" he said.

          Lily inhaled shakily. "If – if you are _reasonable, _then take me and not Harry."

          Voldemort surveyed her closely. "You would sacrifice your life for this child?"

          Lily said nothing, but did not move an inch from her defensive spot. She couldn't quite accept at the moment that James was dead; it wouldn't work now. She couldn't come to terms with it … better to just pretend he wasn't. 

          "But you see, my dear, this child has been something of … a bother to me. You are in my way."

          "I know," she said. "Take me."

          "You needn't die, girl. Stand aside. I will not ask again."

          Lily threw herself over Harry's cot. "Please! Take me! Not Harry!"

          "You silly girl! _Stand aside_!"

          "NO!"

          _"Avada Kedavra!"_

          Harry didn't really understand why mummy was falling … why mummy was screaming … why mummy was crying … all Harry knew was that the next second, mummy was slumped against his cot with wide eyes, soon to be closed and then falling on his carpet softly with a small "thump".  

          _"J – James …"_

**_(^)(^)_**

          _"L – Lily? Lily, I can't see you …" came the voice softly through the darkness. "Lily … I don't know if you can hear me – because I can't hear myself but … I'm here … I'm right here … I'm not leaving … and I meant what I said … I love you …"_

_          She heard him … it was distant, but it was there … and it was warm. _

_          "J – James? I – I can hear you … I know you're there … please don't leave me … I'm scared," answered the voice. The darkness was evaporating, the light shining through slowly … white, brilliant light … they could feel …_

_          "I … I can see you …"_

**_(^)(^)_**

          Voldemort surveyed the child before him, the small and almost insignificant creature that was said to be his downfall. It seemed funny to him … almost unbelievably comical that this child was foreseen to have the power to vanquish him. It hardly seemed possible. 

          "So this is the boy …" he said softly, to himself only as he was fairly certain that babies did not understand. "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,"_ he muttered aloud.

          Harry stared at him with hugely green eyes, the eyes of his mother. This registered dimly with Voldemort. He held his wand to chest height, ready to do the very thing that would guarantee that there would be no one left to stop him … all the strong ones had gone. The Prewits, the Longbottoms would soon be gone, now all the Potters … or almost all of them. The only one left was Dumbledore … but he had him sussed. Dumbledore was nothing. 

          Harry blinked at the wand pointing at him, not really understanding what it all meant and why mummy was no longer moving. 

          "_Avada Kedavra!" _he whispered, his voice barely audible. 

          Harry saw the green light speed towards him, yet did not understand why the strange man was crying out or why there was crashing noises erupting around him.  

          Voldemort saw the jet rebound with immense surprise , but could not react … it couldn't be happening … it just wasn't _possible _… pain beyond imagining hit him with such force that he felt himself disintegrating. He screamed unnaturally, trying to shield himself against something he could not see … this wasn't right … there was nothing to do but … run. The force of the spell and the impossible act of it rebounding had caused an explosion; the house shook where it stood, but Voldemort did not hear it or feel it …

          And he Disaparated, leaving Harry to stare fearfully at the empty spare ahead of him where the man had been and the body of his dead mother. 

**)()()(**

          Sirius swerved the bike around the corner … and almost crashed it. He really thought that he was seeing things … a vision, a mirage, what he had most feared … but not the truth. The house was smoking, the roof half blown off. Sirius's jaw dropped as he stepped off the bike, letting it fall with a loud clatter that rang in his ears. 

          He staggered towards the house, breathing heavily. People had come out of their houses after hearing the noise of the explosion and were staring and shouting fretfully. Sirius did not hear them … he did not care. He stopped in the doorway and put a hand to his head.

          "JAMES!" he yelled so loudly that his throat hurt. "LILY!"

          The living room was smashed up, the kitchen in a smoking mess, shards of glass everywhere … the back door blasted off its hinges … and behind one of the cracked work surfaces lay a hand. Sirius blinked. 

          "James?" The hand did not move. _It must be attached,_ he thought stupidly. It is true that when there is a true shock that momentarily delays grief that the mind thinks up ridiculous logic to further postpone the emotion. Sirius wanted desperately to rush towards it and shake it, half knowing who it belonged to, but the other half of him wanted to be somewhere else … anywhere else than here, facing what he had feared for so long …

          His feet moved slowly, shuffling almost, and looked carefully over the broken furniture. There before him lay a man with messy black hair and glasses that had since slipped down his nose … the body of his best friend. His eyes were not wide open, but half closed, as though he were not really finished. Sirius's eyes travelled over his broken fingers, the cuts all over him, his wand still gripped tightly in his hand.

          Sirius bent down slowly, and felt that his knees could not support his weight. He sank to the floor, hot stinging tears falling from his eyes. A dim thought registered slowly in his mind through the weight of the raw and fresh anguish dragging him down to the depths of misery. 

          "J – James," he whispered, his voice breaking. His hand moved slowly to the dead hazel eyes before him … they should be closed … but withdrew it suddenly as though he had received an electric shock. 

          Crying from upstairs … baby crying … _Harry._

          Sirius stumbled up the stairs, crashing through his haste … and he almost fell over Lily's body. 

          He stepped hurriedly back, as though he had hurt her, as though his presence made the slightest bit of difference to her. Sirius felt an odd emotion; it wasn't shock, he half knew he would find her there if James were dead … she would never have left him … or Harry. Her eyes, in contrast, were wide and starring. Sirius could not bear to look at them and turned his head to her hand, which also clutched her wand, the knuckles white. 

          A sob escaped him; he had not expected it, it took him by great surprise in fact. He reached for her hand … it was still warm.

          "Lily … I'm – I'm sorry …"

          Harry began to cry. At first, Sirius thought he was either imagining it, that it was just another noise in his head, or that it was himself that was making the wailing noise. But the sound became louder and as he turned, he saw a tiny child struggling to move. _Harry was alive …_Sirius had not yet prepared himself for perhaps finding his best friend's dead child … but it was not so. He was not imagining it … Harry was alive, and Voldemort was gone … _the Prophecy, _he thought as it dimly registered in his tired mind. Harry looked confused, scared, as though he was accepting what he was seeing, but not really understanding it, and there, on his forehead, was a large scar, shaped in a lightening bolt. Sirius could not think … could not wonder … could not marvel how or why he was alive … he had no energy to think about what it meant. Sirius dashed to him and gathered him up in his arms, rocking him gently, perhaps as James would have done. But James would never do it again. Never … and it was all down to one person.

** * * * * **

          "What d'yeh mean, he 'asn't come out yet?" Hagrid asked a Muggle, who had witnessed the entire thing. 

          "A man went in there from a motorbike. All white and shaking he was, proper shook up. Look, here he is now!" said the Muggle wife, pointing to Sirius who emerged from the house holding a bundle of what looked like rags in his arms. 

          "Sirius!" yelled Hagrid, striding massively over to him. Sirius looked up, bleary eyed, and nodded at Hagrid.

          " … Hagrid," he replied shakily.

          "Sirius, I – I dunno what ter say, son," he said very quietly. "Dumbledore sent me, yeh see, he was away an' he couldn't believe it … his letter was all shaky an' yeh know Dumbledore … solid as a rock, that man."

          "Hagrid … I –"

          "Yeh don' have ter say anythin', Sirius, just … I should take young Harry here."

          Sirius's eyes flickered. "B – but I'm his godfather."

          Hagrid nodded apologetically. "I know, I know, Sirius, but I got my orders from Dumbledore, see, an' I gotta do what he says. I'm sure it's jus' a precaution an' yeh'll 'ave him back soon as anythin'." 

          Shock was beginning to set in with Sirius and he nodded, not really thinking until he handed Harry over. "I'll look after 'im, I promise." Hagrid took him and smiled and made to walk away.

          "Hagrid," Sirius called out. "You can take my bike. I – I won't need it anymore."

          Hagrid looked confused but nodded. "All righ', thanks."

          Shock was beginning to pass. He had long since been past denial, as he knew what had happened was no dream. It was real, it was harsh and true. Now he was beginning to piece things together. Anger began to course through his veins, as though it were a deadly poison. 

**)()()()()()()**

          It was a Muggle street; Sirius was well aware of that, but found that he didn't care much. Peter had betrayed Lily and James … he saw that now. Why had he been so stupid? He'd thought that it had been the perfect bluff … the perfect decoy … Voldemort would never have dreamed that Peter would be Secret Keeper as he was so useless …

          The sun was rising slowly, casting the street in a pale cold light. Sirius did not know how long or far he had walked; all he knew was that his wand was pointing him in the right direction. As he followed the wand held in front of him in a shaky hand, he tried to make some reason, to pull some clarification out of the air, as to why what happened had happened. _Maybe Voldemort had forced him to tell … maybe he had threatened him, but … no, wait that was wrong. There had been a spy for a long time, Dumbledore had been sure of it. It had to be Peter … it was the only way that Voldemort would have known … _

          And then he saw him … mousy brown hair, shuffling his feet, casting fearful glances over his shoulder … Sirius would have known him anywhere. There, was the betrayer, once his friend, now the man who had murdered his best friends in the entire world … and he had sold them to Voldemort …

          "Hello, Wormtail," Sirius called quietly, coming to a halt. Muggles were emerging from their houses, some still looking weary in the morning hour.

          Peter stopped suddenly, not looking behind him, as though he already knew who it was. "Hello, Sirius," he said, finally turning around.

          Sirius felt his lip tremble, felt anger he had never known. It outstripped anything he had ever felt towards Snape, anything he had ever felt towards Voldemort … he didn't want Peter to die for what he did … he wanted him to suffer, as Lily and James must have … the thought of their deaths caused tears to well in his eyes. Slowly, he continued to walk towards to the now stationary Peter.

          "What have you done?" he whispered. Only Peter could hear him, it was so quiet and harsh. 

          Peter blinked. "I don't know what you mean."

          "Why? Just tell me why, Peter," said Sirius in a voice filled with emotion. 

          Peter's breathing quickened. "It – it wasn't my fault –"

          "Don't you dare lie to me, you scum."

          "I hardly think that insulting me is going to make much difference here, Padfoot," Peter replied with a certain amount of coolness that did not reach his squinty eyes, darting back and forth. 

          Sirius let out a laugh like a bark. "No, no I don't suppose it will." And then even more quietly, "Were you there, Peter? Did you hear them screaming?"

          Peter said nothing, but stared defiantly back.

          "Did you hear Harry screaming? Did you hear Lily plead, and James fight? Did you hear his fingers snap –?"

          " – No one else knows that we swapped," said Peter quickly, yet dangerously, cutting him off. 

          "Dumbledore knows."

          Peter sniggered. Have two words for you, Sirius. _Memory … modification._"

          Sirius blinked. "Y – you … you modified –?"

          "Yeah, I improved a little, didn't I tell you? Dumbledore trusted me. I couldn't just put that to waste."

          Sirius opened his mouth and closed it again. 

          "Consider your position, Sirius. I'm not going to modify your memory; I probably couldn't if I wanted to. I'm not ashamed to admit that. But if you are going to insist on …_catching me,_ as it were, then I'm afraid that I have no choice."

          Peter backed away, slowly. Sirius was so stunned that he could not move, nor wonder what Peter was about to do. Suddenly Peter's voice was loud, shrill and panicked.

          "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he bellowed. Many people stopped and turned their heads in their direction, now able to hear the conversation.

          Sirius blinked. "What have _I _–"

          "HOW COULD YOU, SIRIUS? LILY AND JAMES! THEY WERE YOUR BEST FRIENDS! AND YOU SOLD THEM TO HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED! SHAME ON YOU!"

          People had their hands over their mouths, scared at the confrontation but many not understanding the contents. "You little …"

          "GO ON THEN, SIRIUS! FINISH ME OFF AS WELL! IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, ISN'T IT? GO ON! TRY!"

          Sirius raised his wand, out of anger, intending to Stun the little rat, but out of the corner of his eye saw Peter raise his wand behind his back and muttered an incantation under his breath … he grimaced horribly in obvious pain, Sirius not understanding what he had done, and then …

          A bang with the force of an earthquake shook the street; it splintered and cracked, the sewer pipes below were no visible to the naked eye, Muggles were thrown everywhere. The ones in twenty feet of Peter had not been so lucky … Sirius was blasted backwards into a wall, his head spinning … his eyes just open enough for him to see a rat with a long balding tail whip down into the sewers. 

          _"W – Wormtail …"_

          "DO NOT MOVE, BLACK!" came a loud and commanding voice. It was Fudge, and behind him stood twenty Ministry officials, all with wands. "D – DROP YOUR WAND!" His voice shook as he took in the scene before him; dead Muggles littered the street. 

          Sirius dropped his wand, unable to contain himself. 

          Ministry officials approached him cautiously, held him with a Stunning Spell and took him under the arms. Fudge turned away and retched in the gutter and Sirius obliged. 

          In a sick, almost satirical way, there was something hysterically funny about it all to Sirius. Peter, the klutz, the slow one, had outsmarted him, outsmarted them all. He had framed him. He had won … no one, not even Dumbledore could help him now … Sirius couldn't help it. He began to laugh. At first it was genuine, it was real. Then, slowly, the laughter transformed into huge shuddering sobs that shook his shoulders. _This is a dream, I've gone mad._

Sirius was bundled roughly into the van, hearing shrieks in his ears; whether they were real or whether it was all in his head, he would never know. He knew he would never see his friends again, and he knew where he was going … Azkaban Prison, where no one had ever broken out before, and by the looks of things, that was not about to change.

Behind him, the sun rose fully and bathed the street that had been, a few minutes before, a quiet and placid street, and was now a chaotic disarray, bathed in red.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~

**_A/N:_ **Is there any need for words? No. Guess not. Sorry if that was a bit horrible, but I felt if I had dallied then it would be an insult! One more left … twist coming up in the Epilogue. Please, please read on and please, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Rosie x, x, x, 


	26. Epilogue

**CHAPTER 26 _Epilogue – Last But Not Least_**

**Disclaimer: **This is great; this is the first time that I can actually say that I own this part of the plot! Aha! The aftermath that … JK never wrote! So … this is totally mine! Aha! Invites all the Angels to join in with her to sing, Hallelujah! Oh, yeah, but I don't own any of the characters I suppose. Obviously. Invites disclaimer to join her for a tipple and asks if they can forget their previous vendetta in light of ending.

**A/N: **Hi there … for the last time! (Well in this fiction anyway.) I am so sorry about how brutal that last chapter was … but I think I have already explained all of that so blah, blah, blah. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews from everyone who really appreciated what I wrote. It's really great of you. So, this is the last ever part of _The Good New Days_. Stifles a sob. So, please, if you haven't reviewed or if you review in a very _limited_ fashion please do it now! Thanks again.

HITS PLAY

* * *

A young boy of seventeen straightened up to wipe his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He accepted the blue patterned handkerchief that had been offered to him by the older man at his side. Before, when he had been previously affected by what had been witnessed before green eyes, the tears that had welled there had been much more subtly brushed away, but Harry Potter could not hold it in any longer.

He tried to fight them back, screwing up his eyes in protest as the tears had taken him quite by surprise, but it was no use. They spilled out of his eyes and fell with small splashes onto his Muggle sweatshirt. He allowed the older man, who was Remus Lupin, to hug with without remonstration, without embarrassment, and gave himself up to the shuddering spasms of grief that had been howling to escape him ever since he had seen his parents die violently before his eyes.

Harry drew back slowly from Lupin who knelt down in front of him, the faint lines around his eyes becoming more and more apparent.

"I'm sorry, Harry," he said softly, more experienced at hiding the tears threatening to well as he was reminded of his closest friend's demise. "But you said you wanted to see it all. To leave anything out would have been an insult to you, and to their memories."

Harry shook his head so hard that his glasses slipped and he only succeeded in giving himself an even bigger headache than he had previously had and making the messy black hair even more untidy. "Don't apologise," he said. "I told you exactly what I wanted to see. It must've taken you ages."

Lupin sighed. "It wasn't as difficult to put it all together as I first thought," he explained. "Dumbledore has more than the one Pensieve, you know, holding more than just his memories. Honestly – I saw a great deal more this way than I had ever done back then …"

Harry blinked furiously, angry with himself for letting the inevitable happen when he had sworn to himself when he had signed on for this that it would not. "But – how exactly did you do it all?" he asked, looking for a subject to take his mind's eye away from his father's broken fingers … from his mother's brave face before it went blank …

A wry smile passed over Lupin's wasted face and tired features as he scratched his forehead. "Perhaps no one ever told you, Dumbledore taught me Occlumency many years ago, before Snape ever learnt it. He said it would help somehow with my werewolf transformations. If I were able to shut my mind out and focus on myself completely, I would be less wolfish. This was before the Wolfsbane Potion had ever been concocted, so since then I have not had to use it at all."

Harry stared at him. "You're an Occlumens?"

Lupin nodded. "Perhaps even more skilled than Professor Snape, though he would never hear of it, I hasten to add."

"So, how did that help you show me my parents … in their day?"

"Well despite Voldemort being a good few hundred of miles away, thanks to you of course, it was possible for me to break into his mind and extract memories at will." Lupin frowned concernedly. "Of course, he will be none too happy when he discovers what has happened. He will most likely believe it to be some plan to be his undoing … for us to learn more about that night, and maybe even the Prophecy …"

He broke off as Harry looked at the floor. "That wasn't why I wanted to know …" said Harry quietly. "I only wanted to see … what it was like now that … now that …" He could not bring himself to say Sirius's name. After watching him being taken away at the expense of Wormtail's lies was almost too much to abide. Harry knew that Sirius had since been exonerated, pardoned, for the crime that he did not commit by himself most importantly, and the people that mattered, but the fact that he had been taken from him so suddenly … ripped from home … Harry couldn't bear to think about it.

"I know," said Lupin. He straightened up, his tone now slightly more brisk, an attempt to quash the lump in his throat. "It's only natural to want to know more after suffering two losses. More importantly, two father figures.

Harry thought that to say anything would be dangerous.

"So, with Occlumency, I could do almost anything. I could see almost anything."

Harry looked up. "Like the night that he –"

" – Killed your parents, yes. And many more like that. It was necessary to extract that particular memory from Voldemort because … well. No one can read the thoughts of the dead, Harry."

Harry frowned, contemplating something. "But … then – how did we see … when they were alone? Or it was just my dad and … and Sirius?"

A closed expression appeared on Lupin's face. "Ah, as to that, Harry, I will admit on calling the help of someone else."

"Dumbledore?"

"Yes. He has instruments no one has ever dreamed of, you know, not even Voldemort could conceive of some of the things that Dumbledore has. One is a very unique and old Time Turner. You remember the one that Hermione was allowed to have in her third year? It's similar to this, but different in many ways, and much more advanced. In a way, I suppose it was ahead of its time. When Dumbledore learned that you wished to learn more, then he was more than happy to aid me in helping you. Anything to … ease your grief for which … I am sure he feels responsible for."

Harry said nothing. "He doesn't need to. It was my own fault."

A silence followed this in which Harry chose to break it. "So, how does the Time Turner work?"

"It is unique in the sense that it does not need to transport the person back into the Time they wish to examine, but can instead store the events in a kind of portal until someone wishes to read them."

"And you can put them into a Pensieve afterwards?" Harry asked.

Lupin nodded. "After much preparation, yes. I had been using this particular instrument a few times since … since Sirius died. This is why it didn't take as long as it would have done."

Harry nodded slowly and turned his head to the open window in Lupin's sitting room. Snow was falling lightly outside covering everything in a crisp white blanket, leaving a chill in its wake. Harry put his hand out of the window sill and touched a snowflake where it stuck, momentarily to his fingertip before melting away into water, non existent, evaporating as though it had never been there … like his parents …

"It was so real," Harry said very quietly.

"It's magic, Harry," said Lupin quickly in a low pain-filled voice. "Pensieves are wonderful things, Occlumency is an extraordinary ability and Dumbledore has access to some amazing contraptions that emit illusion, but that's all it is Harry. An illusion. I know it seemed real … but what you saw, happened a long time ago."

"I know that," said Harry sharply, a little too sharply before he recovered himself. "I know it wasn't real. I know I can't … I can't dwell on it. I just wanted to see … now that you're the only person left who can … who can – well. You know."

"I know," said Lupin. "Wormtail is as good as dead, so … I'm the last Marauder." And Harry heard something he had not been prepared to hear. Lupin's voice was cracking, as though he were only just admitting something to himself.

Harry looked up at him. "Last, but not least."

Lupin smiled, and coughed, though could not mask the tear that fell. Harry sighed deeply, unprepared for this.

"Thank you," he said. "For doing it all. I was only thinking about myself … I was only thinking about how I could make it easier for me but I never thought about how it would affect you. So I'm sorry."

Lupin nodded. "Don't ever apologise to me." Harry smiled weakly. "Can I give you some advice?" Lupin asked.

Harry nodded.

"If you ever want to talk to anyone about your parents, or Sirius, or Voldemort or whatever … talk to your friends. Talk to Ron and Hermione. I know you'd never take them for granted but … friendship is precious, Harry. Don't waste it."

Harry was unable to speak, but he understood and the both of them continued to watch the snow falling silently.

"Maybe its God's way of saying that we've been bad."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Well, the weather. I mean, what with Noah and his ark – "

" – The flood –?"

" – Yeah, that, but you know, what with all this snow. Maybe he's telling us we're doing something wrong."

There was a snort. "Oh, don't be so ridiculous, Ron."

Ron and Hermione were once again bickering. Harry was sat on Ron's right, Hermione between them, quite contented, watching the village of Hogsmead go about its daily business. They continued to argue, but Harry wasn't really listening. He was about to tell them something that Lupin had advised.

"Oh _of course _everyone drowned, you nit wit, that was the whole point! Why do you think he flooded the world in the first place?"

"But then how did he re-start the world?"

"The Ark, you _idiot_ –"

" – A few weeks ago I went to Lupin and asked him if he could help me in finding out more about my parents."

A pronounced silence followed this. Harry had thought it would be better if he just came out and said it rather than figuring out some pointlessly long introduction to something that didn't really need it in the first place. Ron cleared his throat.

"Er, you what?"

"When Snape was teaching me Occlumency, I _accidentally_ fell into his Pensieve and saw my dad humiliating him. It'd been bothering me for months and I wanted to ask Sirius about it. When I did, it didn't really put my mind at ease, and I wanted to ask him about it when the term had finished, but then …"

Hermione put her hand on his shoulder. "Harry," she said softly. "You don't have to talk about this is you don't want to –"

" – But then Bellatrix Lestrange murdered him." Harry was determined to get out what he wanted to say and not to make up things to put in the gaps he found painful to better suit himself. Lupin was right; if he ever wanted to get over everything and allow himself in a perfect condition to face Voldemort, he would have to start confiding in the people he trusted most in the whole world.

"She killed him right in front of me, and I never got a chance to talk to him properly about it. So, after realising that I was never going to get over his death and the fact that I never knew my parents, I knew that I had to do something about it."

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks. "W – what did you do?" asked Ron.

"Lupin and I used Pensieves and other things, that's not really important for you to know, but the important thing is, I saw it all."

"You saw it all?"

"When I explained to Lupin, he thought it would be better if I saw the whole thing rather than snippets. So it took a while, but through these things that he put together, I saw my parents life at school, and beyond that."

Ron raised his ginger eyebrows. "_All _of it?"

"The most important bits."

Hermione cleared her throat. "Even … even when – when Voldemort …"

"I saw what happened the night he killed them. I saw how Pettigrew betrayed them and Sirius. And what I saw was enough to make me realise, that I don't need to get over anything. "

Hermione's eyes were wide and Ron seemed to be at a loss at what to say. Hermione blinked. "Harry, that must have been _horrible_ …"

Harry decided it would be churlish to lie. "Yeah. Yeah, it was. But I needed to see it. I needed to understand."

Ron seemed to have learned how to speak again. "So … not that I'm not glad you told us, but why are you telling us this now?"

Harry half smiled. "Something Lupin said. But he's right. I needed to tell you, because you need to know. You need to know that I'm OK, and you don't need to creep around me because Sirius died."

Hermione nodded. "Well, then, you should know that we're here for you. Now more than ever."

Ron smiled. "Until the end, mate."

Harry felt a tear welling in his eye, and allowed them both to hug him as the snow began to fall once more, purifying, cleansing the world, falling on their eyelashes as they broke apart and once again began debating the great flood.

"Wasn't there something to do with a dove as well?"

"Oh, for _Heaven Sake,_ Ron …"

* * *

**A/N: **FINITE! ALL DONE! Oh god, I can't believe that this is over now! It's not right! I'm going to have to get writing something else now … right now … so; the twist basically, is that Harry was always there, he saw everything that you read. Good? Not Good? Let me know! REVIEW ONE LAST TIME! IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT ENDING!

I'm updating as much as I can for my other stories, but I just have a lot of work on at the moment, so please be patient and review lots when they come! Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed this story. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this and it has slightly eased the pain of uni! Oh no … so it's really over, sob genuine sob.

Rosie


End file.
